by Bella Jewel
I’m hysterical, and I know I’ll regret this outburst tomorrow, but right now there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I just can’t. He needs to know what he’s doing to me. He needs to know he’s ruining me. He’s destroying everything I’ve fought so hard to create. He’s breaking me. Slowly, but surely, he’s tearing me to pieces.
“You’re nothing to me,” he thunders, and I feel the warm drops of his blood drip onto my cheek. “Nothing!”
That hurts. It hurts more than I’m willing to admit. Letting me go, he takes two steps back, and I look up at the monster that was once someone I loved. He’s got blood pouring down his face, and his eyes are red and glassy with rage and emotion. His fists are clenched so tightly they’re going white. I can see his hate, and it’s a hate I don’t understand. My father might have hurt him, but I didn’t...I was just an innocent child who adored someone that came into her life.
“Why me?” I croak, slumping down. “I didn’t do anything to you, Axel. In all this, I was the one constant in your life, the one person who didn’t let you down.”
“You’re wrong,” he growls. “You did let me down.”
I shake my head, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. “How?”
He turns without answering me, and he walks to the door. When he gets to it, he looks back at me, and in a broken, angry voice, he growls, “You stopped trusting me, and you made me the enemy.”
CHAPTER 10
MEADOW
Heroes can only save those who need them. I don’t need them.
I’m sitting in that same position he left me in, unable to make my body move. I don’t know what there is to say. I stopped trusting him...I made him the enemy. I close my eyes, and I try to think back, to think of everything that went down, and it hits me like a brick to the face. I did make him the enemy, and I stopped trusting him, because I ran. I never stopped to let him explain; I just ran.
I stopped believing in him because my father did.
“Axel said to give you this.”
I look up to see a girl standing at the door. She’s got blonde hair, big boobs, and a curvaceous body that most women would die for. The tiny skirt she’s wearing is riding high up over her backside, and the red top squeezes tightly against her breasts. I wonder who she is? I watch with curiosity as she walks in and places the food on the table beside me.
“Who are you?” I ask, my voice coming out scratchy and pathetically broken.
“Miranda, and you’re Meadow,” she says, and then I’m sure I here her murmur “his Cricket” under her breath.
“Why did he send you in?”
She gives me a hard look, placing her hands on her hips. “Because he can’t stand the sight of you.”
My heart feels like someone stabbed it, and I feel sick. How do you pick who is wrong and who is right in a situation such as this? He killed my father, so I should hate him. I gave up on him, so he should hate me.
“Axel isn’t the kind of man you want to mess with. I would strongly suggest you give him what he wants, and run as far away as you can.”
I stare at her for a long moment. “What would you know about me, Axel, or this situation?” I snap defensively.
How dare she thinks she knows what’s best.
“Because I’ve been fucking Axel for six years now, and he’s all kinds of fucked up. You have no idea what lurks in the darkness. None. He doesn’t need someone like you in his life; you’d never understand his level of sick. You’re just a constant reminder of why he’s so fucked up to begin with.”
Me? What would I have to do with it?
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, but my voice wobbles.
“I know more than you think, Cricket,” she breathes, and even that sounds like a snarl.
She doesn’t give me a chance to answer. She just turns and walks out. I stare at the door for a long moment, mulling over what she said. What would I have to do with any of this? I never did anything to anyone. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and sent on a mission I really didn’t deserve.
I turn my eyes to the tray of food she placed down, and, regardless of my anxious stomach, I’m starving. I lift the tray off, and see some sort of stir-fry made with plenty of beef, vegetables and noodles. I lift the fork, and I begin gulping the food down, hardly chewing. I’m so hungry it’s embarrassing how I’m eating right now, but there’s nothing I can do to stop the way my hands tremble with need, or how my body desperately needs to be fed.
Mid way through, I feel my throat beginning to tickle. I cough, and lift a glass of water and swallow it. Maybe it was too hot. The tickle increases, sending warmth up into my cheeks. What is happening? I take another sip of water, but the warm feeling begins increasing, and my throat starts to itch. I realize what’s happening then...I’m having an allergic reaction. I gasp for air, and panic fills me. I stare down at the food. I can’t see any seafood in it, but that’s the only thing that causes this kind of reaction in me.
“This is your last chance,” a voice comes from behind me, and I spin to see Axel walking in, a hard expression on his face. “You tell me, or I will let you die.”
“You’d let me die?” I whisper, feeling my throat beginning to swell and close in.
“No point in lettin’ you live if you’re never goin’ to tell me where that USB is, so yeah, I’d let you fuckin’ die.”
I feel panic begin to swell in my chest as breathing becomes more difficult. I gasp for air, and grip my throat, wrapping my fingers around it and trying to rub. I’m highly allergic to seafood, and Axel knows this. He knows because he helped me when I was ten years old, and I had my first reaction.
“Y-y-y-you put seafood in there, didn’t you?” I rasp.
His expression doesn’t change. “I had to get it out of you, one way or another.”
I begin to wheeze, and I feel my breathing decreasing. I’ll die. If he doesn’t give me a shot, I’ll die. I look up at him with tears in my eyes, and I see a moment of hesitation in his. It’s there, a moment where his eyes shifted.
“Why...why would you do this to me? I never did anything to you,” I wheeze, rubbing my throat. “I adored you. I loved you. I...you saved my life. Why would you do this? Why?”
“Because there’s nothing left inside me. Now give me the location, or I won’t give you this shot.”
He lifts his shirt and pulls out the shot I know I need. He must have got it from my bag, I always carry one with me. My vision begins to blur, and I begin gasping for air so badly it sounds like I’m having a coughing fit, only with air. I don’t want to die. I’m tired of the fight. He’ll never let me go, and he’ll never tell me what went down that day. It’s not worth dying over, and it’s not worth this pain.
I drop my head, and I gasp through wheezing breaths. “It’s in a bank downtown, in a locker.”
Then, my vision swims, and my world begins to turn. I collapse down, and I’m sure in those moments before I pass out that I hear Axel say the same words he said to me when I jumped off that bridge.
“Keep breathing, Cricket. Don’t close your eyes.”
I know it’s only a dream though. The monster inside him is far stronger than the man trapped behind it.
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
“Meadow, where you at, girl?”
I hear Axel’s voice, and I skip into the living room to see him standing with a great big grin on his face. “Guess what?”
“What?” I cry, running over and leaping into his arms.
He swings me around, and I laugh loudly, my blonde hair flicking in a circle as we move.
“I got a new bike!”
“For real?” I squeal. “Show me.”
He nods his head towards the front door, and I run out into the yard to see the shiny red Harley-Davidson in the driveway. I groan in awe and walk out, running my fingers over the candy-apple paint. “It’s a Super Glide.”
“Your favorite.” He grins, putting his hand on the top of my
head and resting it there.
“Are we taking it for a ride?”
He beams. “Hell yeah we are, get your helmet.”
I run inside, and in a split second I have a helmet on and my riding boots. Axel gets on the bike, and I climb on behind him. He starts the powerful machine, and we speed off down the road.
He takes me around all the good bends, and up to the local lighthouse before stopping at our favorite lake. I jump off, and run toward the water. When I reach it, I lean down and run my fingers through the cool liquid.
“So, what’d you think?”
I spin toward him, and grin. “It’s amazing!”
He drops down onto the grass, and pats it. I slump down beside him.
“You know, you’re the only one I wanted to share it with,” he says, smiling down at me.
I bump my shoulder into his. “That’s because I’m your number-one girl, right?”
He laughs, and wraps an arm around my shoulder. “You’ll always be my number-one girl, Cricket. I’ll always be here for you.”
“Meadow, wake up.”
I hear Axel’s voice, and I feel my body coming to. Everything hurts, and my head is pounding. I swallow. My throat is so dry that I can’t get enough saliva to coat it, so it burns.
I flutter my eyelids open, and see Axel staring at me. He’s got a needle in one hand, and a glass of water in another. I realize then I’m soaking wet. He must have been splashing me with it to try and bring me around.
I look up at him, and any sympathy I had for him is now gone.
I hate him.
“Get away from me,” I croak, shifting into a sitting position.
He doesn’t say anything. He just stares down at me.
“Get out...just get out of here....”
“I need that location, Meadow,” he orders.
I lift my scathing eyes to meet his, and he flinches. “You’re a no good piece of shit. I hate you. I hate everything about you. Go and die, Axel. You’re nothing to me anymore. Now...GET THE FUCK OUT!”
He stares at me for the longest moment, and so much passes between us. Then he turns, and he walks out of the room without another word.
And I put a brick wall around my heart.
I can’t feel like this any more.
It’s time to end this.
CHAPTER 11
AXEL
Hatred be my friend, stay with me ‘till the end.
I take another shot, but the burn doesn’t help any. It only adds to the fucking fire in my chest. I tried to kill her. I put her life at risk just to get information. I went over the limit of crazy, and became a fucking psycho. And there was a moment there, just one fucking moment, when I thought she was dead...and something happened...inside me.
I was scared.
For a brief second, I felt fear.
I lift the glass, and I fill it with more of the amber liquid before shooting it back. When the fuck did I end up here? I don’t have time to hate myself, and I certainly don’t have time to feel a tiny spark of emotion for someone who despises me. I close my eyes, and tighten my grip on the bottle in my hand.
What the fuck am I doing?
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
“I have to go with you,” I say in a monotone voice.
I don’t look at Axel as he stands in front of me with Cobra and Jax by his side.
“Then let’s go,” he says, no emotion in his voice. He leans down, and uncuffs me. “I don’t need to warn you about not running.”
“I don’t have any need to run. I just want this over with, so I never have to hear your name again. Better yet, so I never have to see your pathetic, cruel face,” I spit, walking toward the door.
I don’t see his reaction. I don’t want to. I just want this over with.
I’m done imagining there’s something good left in his cold heart. I hear Axel following me as I navigate my way down the halls and outside. The sun hits my face, and I immediately breathe it in. I’ve missed it. Axel takes my arm, and leads me to a big SUV. I climb in the back without a word.
Axel gets in the driver’s side, and I catch him glancing at me in the mirror. I turn my face toward the window, and I don’t look back until we pull up at the bank I gave him the name of. I get out of the car, and I walk inside. Axel is on my tail. I wait for ten minutes for a free person, and when a young lady calls me over, I walk with numb legs.
“I’m here to get the contents out of my safety box.”
“Of course,” she says, and begins the process.
Twenty minutes later, I have a tiny USB drive in my hand. I turn to Axel as soon as we get outside, and I shove it at his chest, hitting him with a thump.
“I hope this is everything you ever wanted, Axel. I’m done. I never want to see your face again.”
I turn, and I take only one step when the shot rings out. I feel a thump against my leg, and I feel my body going down in slow motion, my body buckling beneath me. A burning pain radiates up my leg, and a ragged scream leaves my throat. Someone has shot me. Axel pulls out a gun, and suddenly Jax and Cobra are out of the SUV.
“Put her in the SUV,” Axel orders.
Jax runs over to me, tucking his arms under my legs and lifting me up. He places me in the back of the SUV, and surprises me by pulling off his shirt and pressing it to my leg. He slides in beside me, keeping up the pressure. I scream, and wrap my fingers around my thigh, squeezing, as if it will take away the pain. It feels like someone has put a hot poker through my leg.
I hear guns exploding outside.
A moment later, Axel and Cobra leap into the car. Axel plants it, and the car lunges forward. The tires skid, and the car fishtails across the road. I hear another shot ring out, and the loud sound of a bullet hitting metal fills the car. My screaming has turned into sobbing, and I’m trying desperately to breathe through the pain.
“Who the fuck was that?” Jax asks, still pressing his hand to my leg.
“It was fuckin’ Beast.”
Who the hell is Beast?
“The fuck is he doin’, shootin’ her in the middle of the street?”
Axel growls, and slams his hand against the steering wheel. “It’s a fuckin’ warning. He wants that USB, and he’ll do whatever he can to get it.”
Cobra spins around in his seat. “How bad is it, Jax?”
“She’s bleeding real good,” Jax grunts.
Axel glances at me in the mirror. “You good?”
He’s asking if I’m good?
I nod my head, not wanting to open my mouth. If I do, I’m afraid I’ll start screaming again.
“Did it go right way through?” he asks Jax.
Jax lifts the shirt off my leg, and I wail loudly.
“No boss, it’s just a graze, but he got her good and proper.”
“Shit,” Axel growls. “Let’s get back, we can sort it there.”
Sort it?
Sort what?
My head spins, and I feel my fingers slide out and take hold of the only thing close by: Jax’s leg. He stares down at me in horror, but his eyes soften after a moment, and he places his hand over mine. I pant through my teeth, keeping them clenched tightly for as long as I can to stop myself from screaming. The car moves quickly, and I can hear Axel frantically talking to Cobra in the front of the car. The last thing I hear before darkness takes over, is Axel stating, “She needs a hospital.”
~*~*~*~
My eyes open slowly, and I hear the constant sound of beeping beside me. I blink a few times, and as my vision clears I see the pale cream walls and the bright fluorescent lights above me. I’m in a hospital. That much I know.
I move my body slowly, and a dull thudding pain radiates through my thigh. I got shot. Someone shot me. I shake my head, trying to clear the dizziness that has settled there, and I open my eyes to see a nurse fluttering around with a machine beside me.
“Hi.” She smiles when she sees my eyes open. “How are you feeling?”
“I...” I croak,
with a dry, scratchy throat. “I’m okay.”
“How’s the pain?”
I shift again, and shake my head. “It’s not too bad.”
“You were very lucky. The doctors stitched you up, but they had to repair some damage done to your skin. It was quite messy.”
God.
I nod. It’s all I can do. I’m still in a mild state of shock. The nurse walks over and places a small device on my finger.
“There’s a man waiting outside for you. He’s not left.”
My heart speeds up. Axel?
“A-A-Axel?” I whisper.
She nods. “Yes, that’s him. He’s been barking orders around, and not letting anyone but us in. He’s quite an over-protective boyfriend, isn’t he?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I say, shaking my head furiously.
“Oh, I just thought...”
“Why wasn’t I informed she was awake?”
I hear the loud, dominating voice, and turn my head to see Axel standing at the doorway, wearing the same clothes he’d been wearing when all this went down. He’d really stayed with me? I chastise myself inside. Of course he isn’t here because he cares, he’s here because he doesn’t want any bikers finding me before he can make sense of the situation.
But if he didn’t care, just a little, he would have just let me go. He’s got what he wants. Right?
Axel walks in and stops by the bed, staring down at me. His aqua eyes look tired and he’s staring at me with a blank look that gives nothing away. “The pain?” he asks, his voice monotone.
“It’s okay,” I say in the same tone.
He nods, then lifts his head and looks at the nurse. “When can she go?”
She looks confused. “Well, we’d like to see her in for a few days so we can check the wound, and...”
“Is there antibiotics she can take away?”
She stammers. “Well yes.”
“And are there instructions on cleaning the wound?”
“Yes, but...”
“Then we are going. You can’t hold us here.”
I gape at him. “Are you serious?” I snap. “Just leave me here, Axel. We both know you don’t really want to take me.”