Love by Night

by SK Williams

  Who Goes First?

  We had too much to drink that night

  she fell asleep long before me

  She danced in her dreams

  and kicked at my knees

  I smiled sleeplessly

  as she tossed and turned

  and softly moaned

  tangled up in lucid fantasies

  I watched her

  and wished I could be there too,

  where we are forever

  And though I think she was sleeping

  her hand sprang out and clutched

  my fingers

  She pulled me in

  and I nestled up close

  and fell into the darkness

  to find her

  Swallowed up in the dark

  I love you in the night

  I’ll find your fingers

  and trace your shape

  and remember your form

  in light

  We’ll go on –

  journey deeper still

  into the dreaming

  Beyond the land we know

  so well

  And there, bid goodbye

  to reason and

  to meaning

  You & I

  Before it all began

  there was an explosion

  of light

  and matter

  in every direction

  We saw cities rise and fall

  animals and humans alike

  being born

  growing up

  growing old

  and dying

  And we saw ourselves

  suckling babies

  pimply teens

  always incomplete

  without each other

  And then we met

  and there was an explosion

  of light

  and love

  and matter

  I wonder if we met as children

  would you have chased me

  around the playground

  professing your love

  and picking me lilies?

  would I have noticed you

  or let you kiss me on the cheek?

  would I have been embarrassed

  or ashamed

  or would I be the one

  chasing you?

  I wonder if we would still end up here

  There is you

  and there is me

  We are not together

  but there’s a place where we are

  and sometimes I go there

  I bring you lilacs

  and you greet me on the porch steps

  with kisses

  and we talk about our days

  by the fire

  and when our lips grow tired

  you run your fingers through my hair

  and I work the knots out of your shoulders

  and kiss your neck

  and tell you

  You deserve to be kissed

  every day

  every moment

  I’ve had this dream before

  and I’ll have it again

  I’m back in these places I try to forget

  People there laughing at me and I can’t

  shut them out

  I run and I run and I can’t run away

  but your hand is there to find my own

  your words are gentle in my ears

  and I feel them in my soul

  it’s only a dream

  but you are with me

  and I realize now that it’s okay –

  it’s all I need

  I can turn back and face them

  I can be here with you

  Healing is

  being in the quiet and the darkness

  with the soft glow of the blazing fireplace

  and your arms wrapped around

  A book in my hands

  and soothing words falling from my lips

  our heavy eyes pulling us back

  The storm outside

  thunder booming and crackling overhead

  and the insistent patter of droplets

  the groan and grate of the wind

  tearing between the trees

  all of these sounds

  and I hear none of them

  Healing is

  here

  Linger a few minutes longer

  with me in this dark space

  help me forget all the things

  I need to do today

  with just your embrace

  I feel the sunlight creeping across the sheets

  but I want to hold the dark

  where I can be whomever I want to be

  instead of what they want to make me

  please, keep me here

  stay with me

  Explore these freckles of light

  with your gentle fingertips

  Find the unseen lines

  drawing them to each other

  across the nothing

  Fill each silence with a smile

  or, if you must,

  interrupt it with a kiss

  Honeybee

  I remember your lips

  when I kissed you

  You became a hummingbird

  and you zipped and zoomed about

  the flitting of swift little wings

  tickled at my ears

  And you sped away from me

  but I chased after

  shouting out – “but I love you”

  but you kept on and on,

  fluttering away

  until you were a tiny dot

  and then you came back

  only you weren’t a bird

  no, you were a honeybee

  and your sound was a buzz

  and it scared me

  but I stayed still

  and you stung me

  but I smiled at you sweetly

  Seeker in the dark

  you find me where I don’t belong

  in my own indecision and self-doubt

  and take me to a place

  far better than I ever deserved

  where I can plant small seeds

  that could blossom into tomorrows

  if I am clever and kind enough

  to nourish them

  sometimes I lose the way

  please, show me the path

  when I lose it

  There was smoke rising up to the clouds

  between our tender fingertips

  the lilacs at your feet

  tickled your nose

  with the smell of a smile

  your kind little eyes held me up

  to some cloud I had never

  imagined myself on

  I could turn to the sun at my back

  and see my future from here

  and my past as well, waving fondly

  as though hoping I still remember it

  that sweet summer night we fell in love

  in the dreaming dew-dropped grass

  The sheets open up

  and I fall down down down

  down deep inside

  I’m awake

  but my eyes refuse to open up –

  they see no reason

  I want to crumple up into a ball

  and be thrown away

  like a half-finished poem

>   not good enough to complete

  there you find me

  and unravel the crushed edges

  to flatten me out

  and read every line

  and maybe even help me

  fill out the rest

  I remember you

  from a time long before we met

  when the light had not yet peeled

  the darkness back from the world

  shapeless souls in the tumbles of emptiness

  I remember the way our forms kissed

  and the marks you left on my spirit

  stayed upon me

  when I felt my way into this body

  I kiss you now and remember you

  I’ve always known you

  I remember

  Travelers

  We were old there

  skin folded loosely over frail bodies

  paper-thin bones ready to break

  to a sudden gust

  and our fingers trembled against our will

  not out of fear, but because our bodies

  defied us

  But I remember

  one thing remained the same

  and it was the only way we seemed

  to recognize each other –

  our eyes

  And then we were young

  nestled up against each other

  only soft and far away sounds –

  the gentle flitting of feathers in flight

  and the croak of the wind

  between the branches

  steady breathing and hearts tap-tapping

  yours or mine

  those eyes

  distant oceans

  we weren’t here

  but there –

  somewhere I have never been

  surrounded by the lapping of seafoam

  the caw of chittering gulls

  coarse and still soft sand

  heating against our skin

  the hammock swaying us

  with the tide

  I focused on your cold fingers

  We were cold

  but warm against each other

  huddling tight beneath blankets

  as the flurries of snowy summer

  tickled at our cheeks

  and frosted the grass tips

  Our arms fanned out

  making the angels

  we might someday become

  Our eyes against the heavens

  defying the promise

  of winter’s bitter kiss

  Our eyes were closed

  but the worlds we saw

  in each other…

  We took with us

  The sun slipped away beneath the horizon

  slivers of light faded

  we walked the length of the beach

  and lay there together in the dark

  to watch the waves reaching toward us

  and I realized I felt more bare

  and vulnerable than I ever had before

  and yet, I felt safer, too,

  in the dark beneath the moon

  with the rest of the world at our feet

  I am a dreamer

  a starry-eyed child

  dipped in moonlight

  who climbs up mountains

  and sleeps in clouds

  I can feel his hands upon me

  from my shoulders down my spine

  massaging away my worries

  knots I’ve held up over time

  he presses me – smooths me –

  until I am made new

  my neck falls loose like a noodle

  my head grows heavy

  my feet are weary

  but then he finds those instead

  between my toes and around my heel

  he works and moves

  and twists and soothes

  my eyes grow sleepy

  and contentedly, I fall to sleep

  Sweet dreams

  my little tosser

  my little turner

  my little sleep walker,

  sleep talker

  my little angel,

  fanning your body out across the bed

  my little cloud skipper

  my little star sailor

  my little moonbeam

  I want you to close your eyes

  and let me pick you up in my arms

  and take you out to my car in the snow

  and kiss you

  and sing to you

  until you fall asleep

  And when you wake up

  I want to kiss you

  and carry you out

  and lay you down in the sand

  The water will splash your toes

  and it will be warm

  and it will surprise you

  and I’ll kiss you

  and I’ll kiss you

  and I’ll kiss you until you wake

  We left the shore behind,

  drifting on the gentle waves,

  lapping water at our sides

  The clouds rolled out

  across the water in billowing curtains

  I took your hand in mine

  and looked into your eyes

  The moon shone on the horizon

  and all the night sky

  looked down on us with grace

  The world fell away

  on this night

  and all that remained of it –

  was our love

  The lights were all on – even the lamps

  she was staring down at me

  sitting cross-legged on my chest

  poking my cheeks

  “Our boat is about

  to disembark –

  wake up!”

  she said

  And I did

  to find her sleeping

  soundly beside me

  murmuring softly to herself –

  or maybe to me –

  “Don’t forget your pants.”

  Captain of the Sleepless Voyage

  O my little Calypso

  sprawled out across the sheets

  sunk into deep visions of beyond

  her swirling wispy breaths

  rippling white silken water

  stretched taut beneath our forms

  Yet these fingers plod on –

  tracing over linen waves

  exploring moonlit speckled skin

  bare and rhythmic against the night

  And I gaze upon her tightly kept lids

  holding back

  orbs of azure waters

  uncharted lands beyond

  It is far too late

  but not yet early enough

  for waking

  And so I sail on

  I can see the sea

  in your blue eyes

  I can taste the salt

  from your tears

  on my lips

  I can hear the waves

  softly falling against the shore

  with my ear

  pressed to your chest

  and I can feel the water

  all around me

  slipping through

  on its way to you

  We left our bodies hours ago

  swimming naked among the cosmos

  constellations stretched overhead

  like the string lights on our porch

  eyes brimming with forevers


  lips spelling love in every way we know

  how to

  here, we are free

  and though the gentle twilight is fading,

  I don’t want to go back

  Imagine our lives unfolding –

  playing out like little Super 8 movies

  in a million different ways

  Maybe we stay here or move far away

  Maybe somewhere they speak our language

  or maybe somewhere they don’t

  Maybe we’ll have a little home

  or maybe a castle

  Maybe we’ll grow old together

  or maybe we’ll have a couple kids

  Maybe we’ll have two girls with your eyes

  and my smile

  or maybe we’ll try for them

  and find out we can’t

  Maybe we’ll make it big

  or maybe we will stay this way –

  our only happiness is each other

  Maybe the film will go on forever

  or run out before we’re ready

  for it to end

  Every film is beautiful

  and I’d live them all

  with you

  Star kid,

  lay down your head

  don’t be afraid of the dark

  journey deep into dreams

  stay wild and wondrous

  grow up gently

  and don’t forget

  to look up at the moon

  when you’ve grown too old to run

  When I go

  lay me down

  against the earth

  where my heart can beat

  with the beat of the mother

  who bore me from her branches

  who shaped me from dirt and bones

  who will shape the next from my own

  take me home

  I’m not ready for the end

  not when I feel

  I’ve only just begun with you

  I want to see what we will become

  I want to see the choices we will make

  together

  I want to tell them all about us,

  to shout it from the rooftops

  I want to get lost in you

  and forget about

  life and death –

  beginnings and end

  I want to feel our love

  forever

  We crawl beneath

  the thick silk sheets of the night sky,

  swimming boundless,