by Vera Quinn
“All he would say is to talk to Jilly. Then he started spouting everything about patient and doctor confidentiality. Jilly has something wrong with her but Dr. Latham did warn not to upset her for a few days. We should approach this thing tactfully. That means, Rebel, you will not be bringing any of this up. You don’t have a tactful bone in your damn body.” Kaden looks at me with a stern look.
“Fine. Let Brody handle it.” I tell them sarcastically. Brody is nodding his head yes but is interrupted before he can say anything.
“I think I should talk to her. Jilly and I are close and I think she might open up to me.” Gracie says calmly.
“She’s right. If Jilly will talk to anyone, it will be Gracie. They gossip like sisters.” Brody agrees.
“Alright, Gracie you talk to her about it. I’m going to her room and I’m going to send Laura out. In just a few minutes someone else come back. Gracie, you go last so maybe she will say something. Rebel you and Brody better not start your arguing over this. Hold everything together. Jilly has been there for everyone here at one time or another and she is what is important now. You two can handle your issues later.” Charlie lets us all know exactly what he expects of us.
“I will be back later or tomorrow if it is too late. I have some things to take care of that are important. Just tell Jilly I’ll return as soon as I can. I am going to get my brothers going on finding some leads. We need to find that rider.” Kaden looks at me suspiciously but doesn’t press me on it.
“You do that, Rebel. Find the person responsible for hurting our Jilly.” Charlie says it but he just doesn’t know we already have. Now to get some answers. I turn and leave them still talking.
Chapter Two
Jilly
My body hurts and it is hard to take a deep breath. I know as a nurse what is wrong with me. I also know everything will heal in time. I’m just glad it was me that got hit instead of Gracie. I was out for a little while but I remember Dr. Latham talking to me and asking me questions. The first thing I remembered when I woke up was that damn motorcycle rider. At first, I thought it was Rebel, or someone he may have sent to look after Gracie but the rider never slowed down. It was like he was trying to mow us down. My body trembles from just the thought. The only time I have ever been that scared was the night I lost my baby. That terrible night I had my miscarriage, and it was many years ago. I hope I am never that scared again.
I had to let Dr. Latham know about my other medical condition. I hadn’t wanted anyone to know. I haven’t even shared that bit of news with my soon to be ex-husband, Kevin.
I had been feeling off for a while. Tired all the time and a nagging cough. I’ve had no appetite and I have had some swelling in my knees and feet but I chalked it up to my long work hours and allergies, just anything but something serious. When I passed out at work one night, I couldn’t ignore the symptoms any longer.
They say doctors and nurses are the worst patients and we try to diagnose ourselves. Well, I am here to say only fools do that. I would have never guessed what is wrong with me but once they told me it made complete sense. It’s another reason it was time to come home.
Doesn’t everyone want to come home to die?
I thought I could ignore it. I thought I could get my first love back and put all the regrets behind me but now I realize that it was just another bad decision. I should have gone off by myself and done this alone. No, I am not dying tomorrow but I don’t want those poor pitiful looks either. I’ve never been that girl or that woman. I am strong and I can do this on my own terms and in my own way.
I have time. It could be years if I take care of myself. I mean, isn’t life a crap shoot every day? Anyone can step outside their door and be hit by a bus or be in a wreck. The only thing I know is I need to make every day count and have no regrets. I think of all my wasted time. I ran away from the two men I loved, and for what? A better life and future. No one is guaranteed years. We only have today to make the most of our lives. This train of thought is making my head hurt more. I know Dr. Latham can’t tell my family but my family is not stupid and if I don’t tell them they are going to be hurt and I can’t have that. I just need to find a way to break it to them gently.
I have talked to Aunt Gladys and Laura for a little while. Then Uncle Charlie and Kaden came in but after that I slipped back to sleep. The next time I opened my eyes, I had been moved to a private room and Brody was sitting in a chair beside my bed. He was holding my hand and his eyes were filled with worry. I would have done anything to take that pain away. Brody has always been my rock. When fate made us family it was giving us the big fuck you.
Rebel may have been my first love but Brody has been my confidant since before I was old enough to know what the word meant. I would have stepped over that family line for Brody but Brody would not do that to Aunt Gladys and Uncle Charlie. He is way too noble for his own good and I cursed him for it many times. Brody just understood that Uncle Charlie and Aunt Gladys would never accept it or understand it. Even so, with some of the things I have said to Brody about the subject I am surprised he still speaks to me.
Sometimes I just don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. It’s a Samms’ thing that runs deep along with being able to read people. I know Brody knows something is wrong with me but he didn’t ask any deep questions which tells me that more than likely it will either be Rebel or Gracie that broaches that subject with me. Since I know feelings and deep emotional conversations really aren’t Rebel’s strong points, I think it will probably be Gracie.
Lord, do they know what they are doing to that woman? As if she hasn’t been through enough already in her short life. Yep, I’m sure she is the one. If not, Brody would have waited to see me with his new bride. I never in a million years thought when I sent Gracie here that both Rebel and Brody would fall for her. Damn my life. I hear the door open and there stands Gracie with that shy smile on her face.
“You up for a little company? I can’t stay long but I wanted to see for myself you were alright.” Gracie says in her quiet voice. I can see the questions in her eyes and I guess I need to put her out of her misery.
“It’s okay, Gracie. I know you were the one appointed to get information out of me. Let’s get this over with.” I tell Gracie with a smile. She shuts the door and comes and sits in the chair Brody left beside my bed. Gracie takes my hand in hers.
“Just for the record, Jilly, I volunteered. I am here to listen to whatever you can tell me. I am your friend and we all love you and just want to help.” Gracie squeezes my hand and smiles at me. “So, let us help. Isn’t that what you said to me the many times I came into the emergency room after Kendall would beat on me? If it hadn’t been for you, Shelby and I still wouldn’t be safe. So, let me be here for you. It is what family does, after all.” Gracie always knows what to say. I look at Gracie closely and I see the strength she has behind those innocent eyes.
“I guess it started before I sent you here. I was feeling tired and fatigued all the time. I thought it was all the graveyard shifts I was taking. Of course, I ignored it, and kept pushing myself. Then after you were here safe and Kevin’s and my relationship began falling apart, I took on even more shifts and I started volunteering at the women’s shelter and doing other work with the foster care system. I wasn’t comfortable bringing children into our home anymore if all Kevin and I were going to do was argue, when we communicated at all.
“No one knows all the things you can do to volunteer to help with foster care. The child protective system and foster care agencies are so under-manned and overworked. I found plenty to do with my time so I could ignore my own personal life and even my health. Then, right after Kevin moved out, I passed out at work and I really couldn’t ignore it anymore.”
I looked at Gracie and her eyes are full of compassion as she listens patiently for me to get to the point. I guess I am thinking if I don’t say it aloud then I can still ignore it. I mean, a lot of days I don’t even feel sick. Every few minutes, she squeezes m
y hand to encourage me to continue. So, I do.
“I went to my family doctor. I thought I needed extra iron or something simple but that wasn’t the case. Dr. Reynolds sent me to see a cardiologist. I didn’t think a lot about it, even though we have heart disease in our family. I went through many tests for stress and such. I thought Dr. Reynolds was just being thorough. I hadn’t let anyone I worked with know that Kevin and I had separated so when Dr. Reynolds asked me to bring Kevin with me for the results that’s when I began to worry. When I showed up alone Dr. Reynolds wanted to wait until Kevin could be there so I explained our situation. I was shocked at the results of my test.” I look at Gracie as I say the last part. “I have cardiomyopathy. I am not dying now. I have time, but my heart is only working at sixty percent.”
Gracie’s face is full of questions and a sadness I don’t want to see but what I do not see is pity. The look of pity is what has kept me from sharing this information with anyone. The only ones that know about my condition are my physicians. I should have made an appointment with a cardiologist as soon as I arrived but I have had no time. Okay, I was avoiding it.
“What can I do to help and why haven’t you told anyone? We all just want to help. I will do anything to aid you in getting better. Can you have a transplant? What are your options?” This is not the response I was expecting. I look at Gracie and I see she is concerned but she has a look of determination. I thought everyone would fall apart or even try to ignore it and go on as usual like I tried to at first. All I see in Gracie is the will to find me help and find a way to overcome it all. I grab the hand that Gracie has been giving me encouraging squeezes with and pull her to me and hug her so tight that I am surprised she can still breathe. Gracie has just given me exactly what I needed.
“Thank you, Gracie. You just gave me exactly what I needed. Acceptance and support.” I feel the tears streaming down my face. I hate to cry but right now they are freeing all the fear I have kept pent up.
“I don’t accept anything. I understand what you're telling me, even though I should Google it to understand everything, but I will not accept this will kill you. We will find a way to help you. Do you understand me, Jilly? We will find a way and shame on you for going through this alone when you have your family to help you. We all will help. You are doing all the people who love you an injustice by not giving them the chance to be there for you the way you have always been there for them. I know a few people who are going to be ready to kick your butt. Quit trying to be so strong and let us in.” Gracie’s voice has been getting louder as she goes on. She looks pissed. Well, our little Gracie does have a temper. “You have four alpha males going crazy. If our talk didn’t work, then your Uncle Charlie was going to come back in here and I don’t think you would have liked that conversation.”
“How’s Aunt Gladys and Ms. Audie? I’m sure they are going crazy. Laura doesn’t know, does she? She’s got cancer and she doesn’t need to worry about me.” Laura needs positive thoughts right now. Kaden should be concentrating on his wife and boys. I don’t want anyone worrying about me.
“Stop it right now. None of the ladies even know. They’re just worried about you getting run over. The rest of us picked up on something the doctor said. And no, he didn’t give us anything really, just more of a feeling. We all agreed I would talk to you. Kaden and Laura took Ms. Gladys and Charlie to eat. Brody is out in the waiting room to give us some time to talk and Rebel took off to do whatever it is he does.” I knew Brody wouldn’t go far, just like I knew Rebel will be hunting down whoever did this to me. Rebel is not good with hospitals so he will be finding other ways to help.
“How are Brody and Rebel? Watch Brody. He will try to find a way to blame himself for all this. All the way down to my heart disease. It’s just his way. He takes everything on himself. Don’t let him do that. Rebel will be blaming everyone else and he will be out for blood. If he gets his hands on that rider before the cops do there is no telling what he will do. I know you and Rebel are not in a good place right now but if you can keep an eye on him for me. I don’t want him going to prison over this. I know I shouldn’t ask this of you but just until I’m out of here. Which I hope will be soon. I think Dr. Latham said a couple of days. He’s getting me an appointment with a cardiologist in Tyler.” I know this is putting Gracie in a bad spot but I can’t stand the thought of Rebel getting in trouble. I will talk to Kaden about it.
“What can I do for you? I mean, healthy food or what? I promise, as soon as I get home I’ll be on the computer and up to date on anything to do with your condition but I want to get some things ready for you coming home. I want to be prepared. Are you on medications? Of course, you are on medications. Do I need to pick up prescriptions? Wait.” Gracie stops and catches her breath. “Okay, that’s better.” Gracie smiles at me. “I was losing it there for a minute. I have it under control now.” Gracie is trying to be helpful and I know she will do everything she just said and more. “Just let me know what you need.” It’s my turn to squeeze her hand.
“Right now, I just have my hypertension medicine and my breathing treatments for my asthma.” I hesitate for a minute. “Most days I feel fine. Just some swelling in my lower extremities. Sometimes I get short of breath. My asthma makes it worse. The cardiologist back home was talking about doing a bypass. I will consult with the doctor in Tyler.”
I look at Gracie and I know the next thing I say is going to upset her but I am going to need her inner-strength. “Gracie, I want to live, so I’ll do what the doctors say to prolong my life, as long as my quality of life is not where I have to be dependent on others for my basic needs. I know I have time but I want you to be prepared and please, do not share this with anyone. I am leaning on you for this and no one else.” I see Gracie understands what I just said. I hate to put this on her shoulders but she is closer to me than any relative I have besides Kaden and his plate is full right now with Laura. I see the tears in Gracie eyes.
“But you’re going to try everything? Tell me you are.” Gracie’s voice is giving away how hard she is trying to keep from crying.
“Yes, sweetheart. I want to be here to dance at Shelby’s wedding. I’m not giving up on anything. I am asking you, if I write down my last wishes, will you make sure everyone complies? I wouldn’t ask this of you except I know anyone else I would ask will do nothing but argue with me and in the end, they wouldn’t keep any promise they made to me.” I squeeze Gracie’s hand. “You have strength inside you and I know if you promise me then you will see it through. This is selfish of me, asking you, but I need this promise to move on and be able to fight with everything I have against this. Promise me, Gracie. Please.” The last part comes out weak, my strength is fading fast.
“If you promise me that you’re not going to give up.” I feel a burden lifted from my shoulders that I didn’t even know was there.
“I will fight with everything in me.” I let go of Gracie’s hand and relax for the first time in a long time. “I’m filing papers with my attorney and all my physicians. I’m also signing a DNR. I know everyone is anxious to know what you found out. Can you tell them or do you want me to? I know I need to tell Kaden but I just don’t have it in me today.”
“I’ll handle everyone for now. You can have a talk with Kaden later. Kaden has put an officer right outside your door so you can rest without worrying.” Gracie tells me. With all the heavy conversation, I hadn’t even asked Gracie anything more about what happened.
“Has anyone heard anything at all? Don’t forget to keep an eye on Rebel. He doesn’t need any jail time. I’m tired Gracie. Would you mind if I take a short nap? Are you okay after everything that happened? Have you eaten?” It’s all I can do to keep my eyes open.
“I am fine. I do need to eat but you get some sleep. I’ll…” That’s the last thing I hear before sleep takes me.
Chapter Three
Rebel
I pace back and forth in front of the bloodied man hanging by chains. I need answer
s and I thought I was getting somewhere with this asshole. His name, that is all he has given me. If I didn’t need more answers, I would cut his throat and watch him gasp for air until his last breath. Sin is the one that usually gets this job but I have pent-up frustrations I need to unleash. All the shit that has gone down is piling up and I need to get it out. I hear the door to the shed open and I see Tip and Spinner walk in. They approach Sin who has been sitting in the corner watching me and making sure I keep my temper in check and not finish this asshole off before we have everything we need. Tip motions me over to him. Maybe he finally has some answers. I walk over to them and Sin throws me a towel to wipe my hands off. “What have you got?”
“The idiot gave you his real name. We would’ve never figured it out with the driver license he had on him. It was a damn good counterfeit. He’s Jade’s half-brother, Garrod Henderson. That bitch must have put him on either Jilly or Gracie. There’s something else. I did a check on Jade to see if she was close and what she’s been up to. Her checking account at the local bank had a deposit of five thousand dollars the day before Jilly was hit and another deposit of five thousand the day of. The deposits are cash deposits so I have nothing to run down. There’s no reason for her to be banking local if she doesn’t plan to be around. The six months before we sent her packing her balance was never over a couple hundred dollars. She barely kept a positive balance. So why the influx of cash now?” Tip is looking for my reaction but I know he isn’t finished. “I didn’t have any leads but I went with a hunch. Trying to not miss anything. The old Giles woman withdrew twenty-five thousand dollars the week before from her private account.” I let it run through my head. How would these two women even know each other and why would they go after Jilly? Of course, Jilly wasn’t the one they were after. Gracie is who both Jade and old Mrs. Giles would be after. Damn bitches.