by M. E. Parker
I nodded and whispered, “The bus leaves for Chapel Hill at seven.”
“What time is it?” he asked, wiping his face.
“Five-thirty.”
He shook his head. “You barely slept.”
“I’m good, I can sleep for a few hours on the bus.”
“I’ll walk you out,” he said as he scrambled out of bed and pulled on his sleep pants. He grabbed his glasses and put them on as I followed him out of his bedroom to the door.
I hesitated in the doorway, feeling self-conscious and a little awkward. I wasn’t sure what last night was to Andy. It was everything to me, but for all I knew it could have been a one-time thing for him.
He looked adorable standing there with his hair sticking up in every direction. Confusion filled his green eyes. “You okay?” he asked. I nodded in response. Sadness replaced the confusion in his eyes. “Hey, last night—it doesn’t have to mean anything if you feel weird about it. I mean, it’s okay if we’re just friends. I just don’t wanna go back to how it was before. I mean—”
I interrupted him. “No, it’s not that at all. It meant something to me. I just wasn’t sure if, uh, it meant something to you?” I asked nervously.
He smiled at me. It was a real smile, like the ones he used to give me when we were kids. “It meant something,” he said as his cheeks turned red.
I smiled back at him. “I was just feeling a little awkward. This is all new to me. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do right now.”
He scrunched his eyebrows together. “Well, what do you want to do?”
“I want to kiss you goodbye,” I said, feeling embarrassed.
He laughed and quickly covered his mouth and then cleared his throat. “Well then, kiss me goodbye,” he whispered with a giant smile on his face.
I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close to me. I leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. I wanted so much more, but I knew better than to start something I couldn’t finish. I pulled away from him. “Talk to you later?”
He nodded. “Good luck today,” he said before he slapped me on the ass. I chuckled under my breath and smiled the whole walk back to my dorm. I felt great. I felt free. I felt happy. I hadn’t felt any of those things in such a long time.
I must have still been smiling when I got on the bus to head to Chapel Hill because Coach stopped me. He cocked his head and looked at me. “You’ve sorted out your shit, haven’t you, Wyrick?” I nodded, and a grin spread across his face. “This is our year,” he said.
“This our year, Coach,” I called back as I boarded the bus. I stood at the front of the bus and called out to my teammates, “We’re gonna kick some Tar Heel ass today!” Everyone cheered as I walked to the back of the bus, trading fist bumps and high fives with the guys. As soon as I reached the back of the bus, I saw Travis grinning at me. I slid in the seat across from him.
“I see you’re outta your funk. Did you meet a girl or somethin’?”
“I can one hundred percent tell you that I did not meet a girl,” I said, smiling at him and thinking of Andy.
“Hell, man, I had this whole pep talk planned and you don’t even need it.”
“I do not need it, Travis.” I couldn’t stop smiling. “So, I’m going to sleep for the next few hours and, when I wake, you and I are gonna win a football game.”
He laughed. “This is our year, man.”
I nodded. “This is our year.”
chapter eighteen
Andy
As soon as Chance left, I went back to bed. As hard as I tried to go back to sleep, I couldn’t. I just laid there grinning like a lovesick teenager. I couldn’t help it. I loved how we left things that morning. I knew I still needed to guard my heart, but I couldn’t stop smiling when I thought about the possibility of spending more time with Chance. I laid there for over an hour before I gave up on sleep and decided to go for my morning run.
It was cold out, but the sun was shining, and it felt great as I started to run. The perfect day for football, I thought with a smile. I even ran an extra mile before walking downtown to pick up a cup of coffee for Cameron and me. When I got back to the apartment, he was sitting at the kitchen table with a scowl on his face. I laughed as soon as saw him. “Good morning, sunshine.” Cameron was not a morning person.
He grimaced. “God, how can you be so happy this early in the morning?”
I chuckled. “It’s after nine.”
“You’re making my point for me, Maybury,” he grumbled.
I put his coffee in front of him and walked towards my bedroom. “Not so fast,” he snapped. “You owe me a long story, remember?”
I looked back at him. “Can I shower first? I’m guessing you don’t want to smell me right now.”
“Good point,” he said. “Shower, then talk.”
As I showered, I worried about what I would say to Cam. I trusted him completely, but I’d also made an implied promise to Chance to keep his secret. I wasn’t going to betray his trust. It wasn’t my secret to tell. But if Chance and I were to see more of each other, I would need to talk to him about telling Cam. I wasn’t going to lie to him, he meant too much to me. As I dressed, I decided I would tell as much of the truth about Chance as I could without outing him.
When I walked into the kitchen, Cameron pushed my coffee across the table. “Sit and start from the very beginning and end with last night.” I grabbed a protein bar and sat across from him. “Or this morning, judging by the goofy grin on your face.”
This is going to be harder than I thought. I sighed. “Chance moved in next door to me when we were six, and he was pretty much my best friend until we started our senior year of high school.”
Cameron narrowed his eyes. “Okay, and what happened senior year?”
“A lot of things. But I guess the most important thing was that I told him I was gay.”
“And what happened?” Cam asked.
“He stopped speaking to me.”
Cam cleared his throat. “Is that all?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
“Did he ever hurt you?”
“God, no, other than my feelings. Chance would never, not physically. He wasn’t like that. He’s not like that.”
“Okay then. What’s his story? Is he a hater or a closet case?”
I was already frustrated with our conversation. I knew Cam was coming from a good place, but I didn’t like where he was going. “Everything’s not always black and white, Cam. There are things you don’t know.”
He looked down. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just got a good vibe from him last night. I hate that I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong. He’s a good guy.”
Cam’s eyes said he wasn’t sure he believed me. “Okay, so he’s the friend you ran into over Thanksgiving?”
I nodded. Then I told him the story of me hiking up to Black Bear on Thanksgiving Day and me falling into the river. I watched his eyes grow bigger and bigger as I told the story. “I somehow managed to grasp the ledge of the rock, but I couldn’t pull myself up. The current was too strong. I called for help and Chance showed up and pulled me out of the river.” My voice trailed off.
Cameron’s eyes were wide. His hand was over his mouth. “Please tell me you’re kidding right now. Why? Seriously, Andy, you hiked up there on your own? And that river, it’s freezing in the middle of July, I can’t imagine it in November, and at Black Bear, the current? I don’t know if you would have made it.” His eyes were watering. He knew, probably better than anyone, how much danger I was in. He worked as a guide for chartered white-water rafting trips up in the mountains during the summers. His uncles owned a rafting business in the Smokies. “Jesus, Andy. Now I can’t decide if I love or hate the guy.” He grabbed my hand across the table and squeezed it. “What in the world were you thinking? Promise me you’ll never do something that stupid again.”
“Don’t worry, Cam, I don’t plan on going hiking alone again. It was just a fluke. I
’d been on that rock a million times. I just didn’t think about the ice. I’m lucky as hell Chance was there.”
He nodded. “Did you know he was up there? What was he doing up there?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know. He was camping. He said he went up there to take a break.”
“So, what happened last night?”
“Nothing—I… he came over to make sure I was okay and to apologize about what happened in high school. We talked for a while and played Xbox.” I could feel my cheeks turning red.
He squinted his eyes. “Hmmm… that’s it? You played Xbox? You seem awfully happy about ‘playing Xbox’.” He used air quotes.
I shrugged. “I am happy, we used to play it a lot together when we were kids.”
Cam settled back in his chair. “Oh my, you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
I could feel my face turn a thousand shades of red. “No, of course not. I told you, he was my best friend. I’ve just missed our friendship, that’s all.”
Cam looked at his fingernails. “I don’t believe you, Maybury. Would you like to hear my theory?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not particularly.”
Ignoring me, he continued. “My theory is that the other night when I thought you were heartbroken over fuckface, you were really pining over the one guy you ever loved. You were wearing his t-shirt and you were suspiciously listening to songs that were popular when we were in high school. If I’m right, you have to put a stop to this. Nothing good—I repeat nothing good—can come from falling in love with a straight guy. Trust me.”
Jesus, he’s like Perry fucking Mason, or something. I managed to let out a sarcastic laugh. “Cameron, really? Your theory is a spectacular work of fiction, but it’s in no way grounded in reality. You’re making a way bigger deal out of this than it is.”
Cam sighed. “Hmmm… I suppose you’re right. I mean, really, what are the chances that the hot football player that you’ve been in love with your whole life would show up to rescue you from a life and death situation? It would make a great story, though. Don’t you think? So romantic…”
I laughed. I almost felt guilty about not telling him the whole truth, but I knew if I had, I’d never hear the end of it. “As much as I’ve enjoyed our talk, I’m going to go study for a few hours before we go over to Jordy and Ben’s to watch the game.”
As I stood to go back to my bedroom, I could tell Cam was having some sort of “ah-ha” moment. “Wait! So, how do you explain the clothes? Why did he have your clothes last night?”
Luckily, I was already standing so I could turn my back to him, so he wouldn’t catch me blushing. “He let me borrow some of his. Mine were wet from the river. I didn’t have room in my pack, so he put them in his.”
“That’s a pity. I was imagining you two naked in a sleeping bag together.”
I swallowed hard. “You should really stop imagining things, Cam,” I said as I walked out of the kitchen.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never imagined him naked,” he called out. I ignored him as I walked back to my room. “At least admit that he’s hot as hell.” A smile crept across my face as I made it to safety, closing my bedroom door behind me. Anyone would have to be blind not to notice that Chance Wyrick is hot as hell.
Two hours later, we were walking across the hall to Ben and Jordy’s apartment. Kick-off was at one o’clock and I only had a few minutes to get settled in front of the TV. Not that I would ever tell Chance, but I’d never missed a game since he started playing for the Lions. Of course, I never cared that much about football, but it was fun watching Chance play. It was a small way to hold on to him, I guessed. But that day, I was so freakin’ excited I couldn’t stand it. Jordy and Cam mostly just tolerated watching the games. Ben, on the other hand, was fanatical. He loved American football. It had become a tradition for the four of us to watch it together.
“Ugh… no offense to your friend Chance, but I’m glad football season is almost over. I’m ready for a new Saturday routine,” Cameron whined as we crossed the hall.
Before I could answer, Ben threw the door open. He was wearing a bright green Lions jersey that he’d paired with a pair of hot pink pants and a pair of white Vans. “Who let the Lions out, who, who?” he chanted, holding up his hand for a high five. I laughed and high-fived him.
Cam followed behind me. “Just so you know, that chant does not work at all with a British accent.”
I was still laughing when Ben replied, “What’s got your knickers in a twist? Have you no school spirit, man?”
“Rah. Rah,” Cam deadpanned as we descended onto the couch.
Jordy was at his drafting table working furiously on a design and ignoring us.
“So, please tell me the rumors are true. Are you really bonking Chance Wyrick?” Ben asked.
I leaned forward and looked at Cam who was sitting on the other side of Ben. “I wonder where that rumor started.” Cam pretended to examine his fingernails. “No, it’s not true. We were friends growing up. No one’s bonking anyone.”
Ben sighed. “Oh well, that’s quite a shame. Was he really at your flat last night?”
I rolled my eyes. Of course Cameron had given them the entire play by play last night. “Yeah, he stopped by,” I said, not wanting to elaborate.
“Next time he stops by, as you say, an introduction would be nice. I can’t believe you never told me you knew him. Could he get us tickets for a game?” Ben asked.
“Or better yet, could he get us into the locker room?” Cam interrupted.
I snorted. “Yes. Let me just call him up and ask him if he could get me and my three gay friends into the locker room so that we can ogle him and his teammates.”
“I should think they’d be flattered,” Ben said. “We are the hottest gays at Gilcrest.”
Cam spoke up. “Truer words were never spoken.”
“And don’t forget the most humble,” I added.
Jordy finally made a sound in the form of a snicker from his drafting table.
Cam sighed. “It really is a shame I misread the situation. I could swear my gaydar pinged last night. It’s never wrong.”
“Mine too,” Jordy said quietly.
I looked up at him, trying desperately not to show my surprise.
“Really?” Cam asked, turning towards him.
Jordy shrugged. “Yeah. We’re in some of the same classes. I haven’t met him. But there was a time during my freshman year that I thought maybe he was queer. But he definitely dates girls. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
“Hmmm… such a pity,” Cam said.
I focused on the TV, hoping the conversation was over. It was only a couple of minutes from kick-off and the commentators were discussing the defensive weaknesses of each team. Cam let out a loud sigh. “I’m already bored. Would anyone like a White Lion?” The White Lion was our signature cocktail for football games. Cam had insisted that we have a signature cocktail. It was really just a Mojito with a new name. “Me,” I said.
Ben raised his hand. “Me.”
“Three,” Jordy uttered from his drafting table.
The teams’ rosters scrolled across the screen and, as soon as the headshot of Chance popped up, filling the screen, an entire flock of butterflies set loose in my stomach. He looked so fucking hot in his Lions jersey. He was wearing the classic Chance Wyrick smile. And his big, brown eyes felt like they were staring straight at me. I’m totally fucked. No doubt about it.
chapter nineteen
Chance
I was right about the game. Travis and I were in perfect sync. I knew where to throw the ball before he even moved from formation. The truth was, winning that game was a long shot. UNC was a much bigger program than ours. Everyone knew it. But what the Lions lacked in talent, they made up with determination. The Tar Heels’ defense was struggling and, somehow, we managed to match them touchdown for touchdown. It had been twenty-five years since the Gilcrest Lions managed to pull out a victory over UNC’s Tar Hee
ls.
It was overtime and I’d just thrown the perfect pass to Travis, who’d made it into the end zone for a touchdown. We were down by one point. I looked at Coach and he was about to send our kicker onto the field. One more point would tie the game and send us into another overtime. But I was ready to end it. I gave him the signal. He shook his head. I nodded. Travis was eyeing me. A two-point conversion was risky, but I knew we could do it. Coach relented and called the kicker back. I gave the guys the signal and we lined up. I faked a pass to Travis, which cleared a small opening in the line of scrimmage. I sprinted towards the end zone. A couple of tackles were made on the goal line, blocking my route. I took my opportunity and dove over the row of bodies, holding on to the ball for dear life.
From the sound of the cheers from the crowd and my teammates, I knew we’d won before I even opened my eyes to see if I’d made it across the goal line. As I walked off the field, I barely noticed the cheers of congratulations and the pats on the back; all I could think about was Andy. I want to see Andy.
The mood in the locker room was electric. Cheers, music, screaming, and yelling. As excited as I was, I was glad when Coach finally got everyone calmed down. I tried to pay attention to his speech, but all I could think about was Andy. I pulled my phone out of my locker. I sat down on the bench in front of my locker and I scrolled quickly through my phone until I finally found the girl’s text from the registrar’s office that had Andy’s number in it. I wasn’t sure what to text him, so I went with the middle school text of choice.
ME: Hey.
It was nerve-racking waiting on his response, so I tried to listen to what Coach was saying. We needed to be geared up and at the bus in thirty minutes. Steak dinner at the Faculty Club upon our arrival back at Gilcrest. That’s all I got. I was just about to give up when I saw the small dots flickering underneath my text. Typing. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for words to appear on the screen.
Andy: Who is this?