Cold Heart

by Sheila Dryden

  “Lexi, are you alright?”

  It was Carter. Her humiliation continued. He came to her side and helped her up. He didn’t seem to notice the vomit that had stained the front of his shirt, the shirt he had so graciously loaned her. Instead he flushed the toilet, put the lid down and sat Lexi down on it. He turned the water on and reached for a wash cloth, wet it, wrung it out and began gently wiping her face with it. The man was a saint. Beads of sweat had begun breaking out on her forehead and she must have taken on a green pallor.

  “You’re going to be sick again aren’t you?” he said.

  He didn’t wait for a response, instead hoisted her up turned her around, lifted the lid and seat of the toilet, all in one motion, just as she emptied what was left of her stomach contents into the toilet. Then he flushed, put the seat down and sat her down once more.

  “It appears you have some experience with this sort of thing,” Lexi said, finally managing to find her voice.

  “Every one of my foster brothers had a binge at one time or another,” he said.

  “I’m sorry about your shirt,” Lexi said looking down at it, then dropping her head between her knees as a wave of nausea hit her again.

  “If you think you are done, let’s get you back to bed,” he said.

  He helped her up and hung on to her as he walked her back to the bedroom and she slipped in between the sheets. It was then that she realised he was wearing only his underwear and she must have woken him with her retching.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  “Two a.m.,” he said. “Try to get some more sleep.”

  “Carter,” she said.

  “Yes,” he answered tucking the covers around her.

  “I’m really sorry,” she said.

  “Its okay, Lexi,” he said. “Try to get some more sleep. You’ll feel better faster now that you’ve emptied your stomach.”

  “Be right back,” he said.

  He left and when he returned he had a cold cloth for her forehead. Then he turned out the light and left. She felt very alone. Her head was still throbbing but not quite as badly as before. She wished he had crawled in bed beside her. She wished he had kissed her goodnight. She must smell of vomit, though and who would want to kiss that. Maybe he was still hurt or angry with her. When she’d bared her soul to him last night and told him she loved him, he had seemed pleased. She did remember that but she was pretty sure he hadn’t said he loved her back. Even in her drunken state she would have remembered that. She tried to remember him bringing her here and undressing her and putting her in bed. No, there was nothing, no memory of that at all. She went to sleep.

  When Lexi opened her eyes again, it was light out. Thankfully the brightness didn’t make her eyes hurt anymore. She could smell the fresh scent of bathroom cleaner. Carter had been busy. She tried to sit up; hopeful the movement wouldn’t make her feel sick again. She managed to get upright and leaned back against the pillows, exhausted from the puny effort.

  “Hey sleepy head,” Carter said as he came into the room carrying a mug, “How about some tea?”

  “Thanks, that would be wonderful,” she said.

  “Just milk, right?” he asked.

  “Yes, just milk,” she replied.

  He looked all showered and fresh. He was wearing jeans and a jean shirt and smelled of dryer sheets and shave cream. Lexi’s mouth felt like sandpaper and she self-consciously put her hair behind her ears feeling what she assumed must be dried vomit on it, as she did. He passed her the mug and sat down on the edge of the bed.

  “So I’ve been dying to ask you again,” he said. “Did you get a chance to read any of the letters yesterday?”

  “Ah, yes I did,” she said after taking a sip of the tea. “I did read a few and they confirmed what I had figured out. Max was really my father and he built Wildwood hoping that my mother would leave Ralph and bring me and come and live with him. I guess he figured since the truth had come out, she would want to do that.”

  “But she didn’t want to,” Carter said.

  “No. She didn’t love Max. She actually loved my father, I mean Ralph. The whole truth hadn’t come out either. I was still in the dark about who my real father was. Plus Wildwood was never really her dream. It was his and she was determined to stay where she was and to keep the truth from me. I would have figured it out sooner or later though, I know it.”

  “Yes, you probably would have. People always think they can keep secrets and it never works. ‘The truth will out’, isn’t that the saying?” he asked.

  “Yes, it is,” she said.

  “Lexi, I’m not a secret keeper. I’m not like your mother or Ralph or Max or Michael or your friend that cheated with him,” Carter said. “I would never do that to you.”

  “I know that now Carter and I’m sorry for not trusting you,” she said her eyes brimming with tears.

  “Well, it’s understandable given the level of betrayal you’ve been subjected to in your life,” he said.

  “I wasn’t really aware of most of it until recently. I’m not sure how I feel about it now. I think that I am very angry with my mother for keeping me from my real father. We really had such a connection from the time I was really little. I think he knew, somewhere deep inside, he knew that I was his. I resent the fact that I not only missed that but that she robbed me of my other father. When he found out the truth, he just shut himself off from me. At least I understand why now. I don’t see how my mother thought keeping it secret was helping me. I didn’t have either of them after the truth came out.”

  “It sounds like she was really looking after herself and what she wanted,” Carter said.

  “Thank you for saying that because that is what I keep thinking. You’d have to be pretty cold hearted to do that,” Lexi said.

  “Yes, you would,” he said. “Having said that, there is nothing you can do about it now. So, what happens next?”

  “I have to accept it somehow, I guess. I can’t live the rest of my life full of anger and regret. I guess I have to forgive them. It will be harder to forgive my mother. Her motives were more selfish. There is one person who is still here that I can forgive though and that’s Kara. We have been best friends since the third grade and I guess that’s why it hurt so much when I found out she had slept with Michael.”

  “She wants you to forgive her?” he asked.

  “Yes, that’s why I figured I should at least see her and maybe we could get past this somehow,” Lexi said. “It went really well. It didn’t take long and it was just like old times. I think we will be okay.”

  “That’s good,” Carter said. “We can’t go through life expecting that everyone will get it right all the time. People make mistakes but not everyone is motivated by a cold heart, sometimes they just screw up because they are needy or confused. You need to accept that and try to give them the benefit of the doubt.”

  “Yes, that’s true. I’m going to try to do that. I have to get on with my life and all this drama just saps your energy for the really important things.”

  “Like us,” Carter said, kissing her forehead. “So for the moment I think I am going to bring you some breakfast if you think your stomach can take a little food. Then I think you should rest a bit longer.”

  “Okay, but I absolutely have to be up and moving in a couple of hours. I have an appointment with the consultants this afternoon and I don’t want to postpone it,” she said. She liked that he had said that ‘they’ were important.

  “Deal, now lay back and I’ll be back with some breakfast soon,” Carter said.

  “I’m sorry to be so much trouble,” Lexi said.

  “It’s not a bother,” he said.

  Lexi supposed it wasn’t a bother for him. He was a lot like his mother it seemed. He was used to caring for sick creatures. He did it every day with his horses. Lexi laughed. She had behaved a bit like a horse’s ass so she fit right in, didn’t she?

  39

  The meeting with the consulting team w
ent well and Lexi was extremely happy with the results. Their research had been extensive and the market evaluation they produced for her had taken into consideration all the aspects of her proposed resort and compared it to everything in the valley. The consensus was that Lexi should be very successful catering to the niche market she was hopeful to capture.

  No other hotel offered the type of family experience that Wildwood would offer. The team thought Lexi was correct in predicting that it would be a place families would come to year after year, particularly at holiday times. When you added the fact that she would also be catering to families who had children with special needs or illnesses it only served to strengthen her position as a unique destination in the resort market.

  When the team left, Lexi was feeling pretty pumped. There was a lot of work to be done in the next few months but now she had a real plan and what she had done so far had been right on track. She had good instincts the team told her and that had made her feel very good. She had to think about investors. It was their suggestion and they would assist her with that, if she needed it.

  Lexi was excited and wanted to share her good news so she called Tucker and headed out to the car. As she was just about to get in, the Sherriff’s cruiser drove in and right behind it one of the deputies with her SUV.

  “Afternoon Lexi,” the Sherriff said.

  “Hi Sherriff Montgomery,” Lexi said. “I’m excited to see my car.”

  “Yup,” he said. “We can release it now. The Reno Police have taken the young lady who was impersonating you into custody and they sent an officer down here with the vehicle a couple of days ago. The District Attorney said he has no reason to keep it impounded any longer, so here you go.”

  He handed her the keys.

  “If you like, we can drive this one over to Grace’s for you,” the Sherriff said.

  “Well thank you, Sherriff that would be very much appreciated,” Lexi said and passed him the keys.

  “The District Attorney will be calling you to have a chat pretty soon I expect,” the Sherriff said.

  “I’m surprised he hasn’t called yet,” Lexi said.

  “Well, they were busy tracking down that investor of my cousin’s and that has taken some time and resulted in a number of charges. I believe things are going to proceed with the kidnapping charges against Montgomery now.”

  “Well that’s good,” Lexi said. “I hope it won’t be a lengthy trial or anything.”

  “The powers that be tell me Geoffrey is going to plead guilty, so no; there will not be a lengthy trial.”

  “Great,” Lexi said. “You’ve made my day.”

  “Be seeing you then, young lady,” the Sherriff said.

  They drove off. Lexi pulled out her cell phone and called Grace. She thanked her for the use of the car and she told her she wanted to get together soon and they agreed they would next week. Lexi got Tucker into the SUV and headed for Carter’s.

  She was tired. She was probably still a bit hung over. She was also feeling a little out there emotionally having told Carter in her drunken state that she loved him and again when she had sobered up. He hadn’t said he loved her too. He had sort of said it when he’d had one too many scotches more than a week ago, but he probably didn’t remember that. She knew he cared. There was no doubt about that. She just needed to relax about all of that and let things happen in their own time. Just because she’d figured out how she was feeling didn’t mean he had. Obviously she didn’t want him to say it if he didn’t mean it. Still as sensible as all that sounded to her, she still wanted to hear the words.

  When she arrived at Carter’s, there was a truck and horse trailer she didn’t recognize, parked by the stables. She parked and she and Tucker got out of the SUV and headed towards the stables. As they got nearer, Carter stepped out and he was leading one of the horses. A little girl, probably about ten years old, walked along side of him. She was carrying on an animated conversation with Carter and he appeared to be enjoying it immensely. A couple, likely her parents, Lexi assumed, followed behind.

  “Hey Lexi,” Carter said.

  “Hi,” she said. “Is this guy leaving?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Amanda here is adopting Abacus.”

  “Really,” said Lexi. “Well congratulations Amanda.”

  “Isn’t he beautiful?” Amanda asked. “He’s going to love it at our place and I will ride him every day. I know a lot about horses and I’m going to be grooming him and feeding him, too.”

  Carter led the horse to the trailer and Amanda’s father opened the back. Carter gave the big stallion a big pat on the neck and said goodbye. Once he was secure inside, the back door was closed. Amanda’s father turned and shook Carter’s hand.

  “We just can’t thank you enough,” he said. “We just wouldn’t have been able to do this for her, if not for you.”

  “It means the world to her,” her mom said. “We’ll take really good care of him.”

  “That’s all I ask. He’s been through enough traumas for one lifetime and so has Amanda,” he said. “I hope its smooth sailing for the both of them from now on. If there are ever any questions or concerns in the future, don’t hesitate to get in touch.”

  Amanda came over and reached her arms up and Carter bent down and hugged her.

  “Thank you Carter,” she said. “I’ll love him and take good care of him, I promise.”

  “I know you will Amanda,” Carter said.

  The family climbed in the pick-up and headed off as Carter watched. Lexi went and stood beside him and he waved as Amanda waved out her window.

  “Well that’s done,” Carter said.

  “You gave the horse to them, didn’t you?”

  “Yup,” Carter said.

  “It’s hard when your children leave home,” she said. “You okay?”

  “Couldn’t be better,” Carter said.

  “What did you mean about the trauma?” Lexi asked.

  “Amanda is a cancer survivor. I figured with what they had both been through, the two of them were made for each other.” He looked at her then and smiled. “Kind of like us,” he said. “I sure love you, Lexi.”

  That brought the tears. Why had she doubted it? He kissed her then and they walked arm in arm toward the house.

  “Tell me about the feasibility report,” he said. “I’m guessing it went really well.”

  “It did Carter,” she said, “And I’m definitely going to follow one of their suggestions right away.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “They said I should be getting investors and not putting up all the money myself. I think that is a good idea. It’s not that they think it’s not a good plan. They just said why risk my own money when I could easily get investors. So I’m going to do that,” she said.

  40

  Three months later

  Wildwood was buzzing with activity. Tables were being set in the dining room and the housekeeping staff were just finishing up some last minute dusting and flower arranging. The chef and his sous chef were busy with preparations for the evening meal. Lexi’s first guests would be arriving in a few short hours and as she stood in the centre of the great room and looked around, she simply couldn’t believe all that had been achieved, in just a few months.

  The fourteen foot Christmas tree looked amazing, next to the windows, sparkling mini lights reflecting off dozens of glass ornaments adding just the right holiday ambience to the room. The tree’s lights were even visible through the big wall of windows, from outside the Lodge. Fir boughs lined the bulky wood mantle and candles in tall candle sticks and a big jolly Father Christmas adorned it as well. Above the mantel was a special piece, given to Lexi by Carter just a few days ago. Marjorie knew he was working on it and told Lexi every time she asked that she had something special in mind for that spot and not to worry about it. Then the other night, Lexi had come over to the lodge and there it was.

  It was a massive painting of a half dozen horses, their legs pumping as they
ran across a meadow, manes and tails flying. It was, Marjorie explained, the perfect painting to adorn the mantle, not just because it had been painted by Carter and was beautiful but because it represented perfect feng shui. Galloping horse paintings in the living room were meant to bring wealth and good luck energy. They must be happy horses as they reflected wealth, acquired through hard work and a lot of hard work had certainly gone into getting ready for this day.

  Marjorie’s plan for the neutral decor had been the perfect one. It allowed Lexi to change the color of pillow covers depending upon the occasion and right now, there were red ones. On the outside of the Lodge, boughs and lights hung off the large structural beams and massive red poinsettias filled pots on either side of the front doors. The doors had been adorned with large wreaths, that were decorated with toys and big bright red bows. The staff had added decorations to each of the rooms and cabins, so the holiday atmosphere was everywhere.

  Lexi was extremely excited. She had never dreamt they could be ready this soon but the influx of funds from her investors had meant they were able to get things finished much faster and therefore open sooner. The Lodge and the cabins were completely booked for the Holiday season. Tonight was Christmas Eve and her guests would be arriving in the early afternoon. Santa would drop by after dinner to deliver some gifts for the half dozen children who would be here. Their parents would secretly drop off the appropriate gift, for their child, when they arrived.

  The kitchen staff was hard at work preparing dishes for Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas Day brunch and Christmas dinner. All these meals would be buffet style and then they would begin their regular menu on Boxing Day. Lexi had worked closely with the chef, a recent graduate of her alma mater and between the two of them, they were convinced they had the just the right mix of dishes, offering home style flavour with a gourmet presentation. There was something for young and old and every palette in between.