Loving the Wrong Lord

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  When Miss Reynolds, however, had gone on for what seemed like an eternity over the true meaning of Paul’s letters to the Corinthians, only to be followed closely by what amounted to a soliloquy on the Book of Proverbs, Josie was ready to run screaming from the table. Even Lord Sutton, who was widely acknowledged as the most proper of gentleman, had yawned more than once and at inappropriate times, no less.

  It wasn’t that Josie – or any of the other guests if she was asked to guess – had any issue with those of a religious bent. In fact, at times, such discussions could be quite fascinating. However, after two hours on the topic, even the steadiest of nerves would begin to wear, and Josie’s had worn out long before that.

  Josie was also annoyed that she had been placed so far away from Phin. She should have expected it, she supposed. After all, yesterday, Phin had made it a point to avoid her or, if not avoid her, then mingle more with the other guests, lest they draw any more unwanted attention to themselves.

  Still, it would have been nice to inquire how his day went, even though she had an idea, since he had been playing lawn games along with the other guests all day. However, she hadn’t even been able to speak to him after dinner once the men finished with their port. Instead, she had been cornered by Lord Haffley, who was in search of a wife of “not too proper of a constitution.” Meaning a wife that would be willing to do unseemly things, most likely.

  It had only been the appearance of Lady Grier – a woman who seemed to terrify most men that she encountered – that had saved Josie from Lord Haffley possibly asking Josie if she would be willing to lift her skirts for him.

  She wouldn’t, of course. She wasn’t that sort of lady.

  Well, except when it came to Phin. For him? After the other day, she might be willing to do just about anything he asked of her – even if it wasn’t wise. Or proper.

  Now, after a night of very little sleep, Josie was quite probably facing the prospect of another day where Phin avoided her until supper or beyond, which did little to help her mood.

  After the other day in the summer house, Josie had assumed they would at least spend a part of each day together. They had agreed that they would explore what lay between them. She had all but stripped herself bare for him! And then? Nothing. A nod. A smile. And not much more. Even after the men joined the ladies last evening, Phin had disappeared soon after, and Josie had been unable to find him, souring her mood even further.

  So instead of making idle chit-chat in the breakfast room or waiting for Tabby and her mother to arrive, Josie had decided to go for another ride – this time with sugar cubes in her pocket in the hope that Lady would be more cooperative this morning.

  Of course, given her mood, Josie planned to go alone. After all, she was abysmal company at present. No one should be subjected to her when she was this surly.

  Except that when she finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Josie found Phin already waiting for her and dressed in his riding clothes as if he had known what she was planning.

  “Good morning, my lady.”

  “Your grace.” Josie dipped into a quick curtsey as a maid scurried by with an arm full of what looked like bed linens. “You are awake rather early.”

  Phin gestured to a nearby window. “It is a lovely spring day, the rain has cleared off for the moment, and I find myself in the mood for another ride before the rest of the estate wakes.” He offered her his arm. “Care to join me?”

  For a moment, Josie thought about refusing for she had no idea what sort of game Phin was playing. Whatever it was? She found she didn’t care for it. Her father had played enough games to last Josie a lifetime. She had thought Phin was different. If he wasn’t? Better she discover that now, she supposed.

  “I will not bite, my lady, and I believe there are things we need to discuss.” Phin looked hopeful.

  That statement gave her pause. At the very least, it was some acknowledgment that there were things unspoken between them that needed to be cleared up.

  “Very well.” Josie still wasn’t in any mood for chit-chat, but she took the arm Phin offered and allowed him to lead her out to the stables. She should at least give him a chance to explain himself and then make her decision after that.

  “Is something amiss, my lady?” Phin asked as he guided her towards the back of the manor house where the stables were located. “You are in something of a temper this morning.” She snorted. “There must be something in the water, I fear, for my sister is the same. Perhaps I should have the well checked for foreign objects.”

  Josie kept her eyes focused straight ahead. “I am fine, your grace. There is nothing amiss.” She refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was the source of her disquiet. How something so wonderful had gone so wrong so quickly was baffling to her.

  Once they arrived at the stables, both Lady and Morpheus were saddled in short order, and the great beasts were offered their preferred treats which seemed to make Lady, at the very least, a bit more amenable to being ridden. While Phin and Griggs discussed the care of a guests’ horse before they departed, Josie wandered around the stable.

  She ran her hands over the saddles and bridles, removing her glove at one point so that she could caress the well-cared-for leather. That was a sensation that she adored, just as she loved the smell of hay and horse. It was warm here, as well, and it heated her bones quite nicely since there was still a bit of a chill in the air. The sun was not quite high in the sky so lanterns still glowed, casting soft shadows about everywhere.

  This place was peaceful, much like her father’s stables back in Sharpe-On-Edgecombe. Soon to be her cousin’s stables, though she had been told that Mr. Stewart – Ewan, actually, as she had learned he preferred to be called – rode a little but otherwise didn’t much care for horses. While Josie wasn’t quite as horse-mad as her father, she had enjoyed a good ride and satisfaction that came from helping to care for such a magnificent animal. Phin seemed to be much the same, at least if the care and concern he was giving to the guest’s injured mare was an indication.

  It was another small way in which they were alike. One of many ways, actually.

  She and Phin were…compatible.

  It was a fairly unique concept amongst the nobility – the idea that two people should have mutual interests before they wed rather than it being simply a business transaction. Not that she and Phin were planning to wed – at least not to each other. However, they were both destined to be married at some point in the near future.

  Now, Josie wondered if such compatibility should be a requirement for her when she selected a husband. She had never thought to marry for love. Such things were absurd, at least according to her father. However, he wasn’t here any longer. Ben and Julia were, and they had married for love. It was no longer unheard of to care for one’s mate before a person wed. So, might she be able to convince one or both of them that some shared common interests be a requirement when she chose a husband?

  When Phin selected a bride, would he do the same?

  Josie hoped so, for he truly did deserve that. Actually, he deserved love, but it was unlikely he would find such a thing, at least not at first. That wasn’t the way the majority of Society marriages worked, and while she wasn’t wise in the ways of the world, she did know that much, at least. Especially when the husband-to-be was a duke and things like lines of succession and heirs needed to be considered.

  “Ready, my lady?” Josie had been so lost in thought that she hadn’t heard Phin come up beside her.

  Josie nodded and gave the saddle one last pat. “Quite. Yes. Let us be off.”

  When Phin assisted Josie onto the mounting block, she allowed it. Just as she allowed him to lead them both out of the stables before mounting Morpheus. When he gestured to a partially hidden path just behind the stables, she nodded in agreement as well, her time of contemplation in the stables doing her a world of good.

  In truth, Josie didn’t care where they went, just so long as she was out of that st
ifling house filled with giggling debutantes and a far-too-wise Tabby who seemed to see all and know all without really trying. That Josie was with Phin was an added blessing – maybe. She still wasn’t certain where she stood with the man so it was probably best not to get her hopes up.

  When Phin asked her if she was ready for a hard ride, Josie nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. This was the Phin from the day in the rain and that delicious moment of release in the summer house. This was not the same man who had all but ignored her yesterday. Another facet to his personality, then, or something more? Josie decided that she owed it to herself to find out.

  So, she nodded in agreement, and without another word, Phin urged Morpheus first into a canter and then into a dead run. Lady, having had her sugar cubes earlier, was more amenable to such things today and took off after Phin and his stallion at a break-neck pace. Had Josie been a lesser horsewoman, she might have lost her mount, but thankfully, the grooms back in Cumbria had taught her well, and it was easy enough to keep pace.

  Finally, after what seemed like nearly a quarter-hour but was probably only a bit over five minutes or perhaps even ten, Phin slowed Morpheus down to a trot, and Josie did the same with Lady. They left the clearing they had been riding across and followed a narrow path through a small copse of trees before quickly emerging on the other side.

  Once they were free of the trees, Josie looked across another clearing to see a charming little cottage sitting there and looking as cozy as could be. Though she had no idea what this building was for, she knew that it must see some degree of regular use for there was a small stable and hitching post in the back for the horses and, in general, the property appeared to be well-maintained.

  Then again, Havenhurst boasted an absurdly high number of outbuildings on the estate, and Phin was richer than Croesus. It was little wonder the place was so well-kept even the parts of it that weren’t used very often.

  Not bothering to wait for her, Phin galloped on ahead and quickly dismounted. Once more, he began picking up rocks and peering beneath them. More hidden keys, she wondered? She had never heard of such a practice, but she didn’t get out of the countryside much. Perhaps this was a common practice amongst the peerage. Finally, though, Phin found the rock he was looking for and, as expected, dug out another hidden key.

  Shaking her head, Josie slowed Lady to a gradual stop – the mare being more inclined to both run and keep running this time – and tied her to the post near the stable while Phin set about opening the doors of the cottage. She also had more than enough time to secure Morpheus as well, while Phin fussed about with the keys.

  “Are you quite finished?” Josie asked when Phin finally managed to open the cottage’s front door with a loud pop. “And why are we here? More to the point, where is here?” She looked up, seeing no rain clouds high above, just an azure blue sky dotted with white cotton clouds. They should have time enough, though it was spring in England and, well, one did always need to be on the lookout for rain.

  “We are here because I need to explain something to you. I also need to apologize.” Phin bowed low in front of the now-open door. “After you.”

  Upon entering, Josie quickly discovered that what looked like a simple cottage on the outside was actually rather opulent inside. This was no simple hunting box or game keeper’s cottage. No, this place was meant for something more.

  Cozy and snug, she could tell that the furnishings were of the highest quality. Paintings hung on the walls, and there was a thick, Aubusson rug in front of the hearth. There was a small corner cupboard stocked with what looked to be fine china and Josie had no doubt that, if she checked, the larder would also be well-stocked with food meant to keep for long periods of time.

  Just inside the door was a narrow staircase that led upstairs, likely to the bedchamber. Possibly two. She imagined those rooms would be just as well-appointed as the lower level was.

  Slowly, Josie spun in a circle, taking in her surroundings. “What is this place?”

  Phin shut the door with a thump before lighting a branch of candles. Though the sun blazed high overhead, he kept the drapes closed, as if he didn’t wish for anyone to see inside.

  “This is my love nest.” He paused. “Or it was.”

  Josie felt her body turn to ice, and she whirled around. “Your love nest? Is that why you brought me here? So you could get me naked again after ignoring me for an entire day as if nothing happened between us?” She rarely allowed her temper to get the better of her, but at the moment, she was inclined to give it free rein.

  “Will you allow me to explain?” Phin ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

  “Why should I?” she scoffed. “I think it is pretty clear what your intentions are.”

  “Because, at the very least, I should like the chance to apologize for yesterday.” He gestured to one of the chairs. “Please, Josie. I beg you to give me at least that. If you do not like what I am about to say? You can leave immediately.”

  Josie twitched her lips, inclined to refuse Phin’s request. Then again, if she did that, she would never understand why he had ignored her, and she truly did wish to know.

  “You hurt me,” she finally said as she sank into the chair. “I know we are not involved in that fashion, Phin, but I did think you cared for me. You said that you did. And yet? After I was all but naked in your arms, you spent the next day ignoring me.”

  “I did care. I do care.” Surprising her, he sank to his knees on the carpet in front of her. “I do care for you, Josie. Perhaps too much. Which is why I ignored you.” He removed first his gloves and then hers so he could lace their fingers together, and she nearly jumped out of her skin at the press of his naked hand to hers. “I was trying to protect you. It seems some of the rumors about me are right. I do place women on pedestals. At the very least, I have no desire to see them become the target of vicious gossip or possibly ruin their futures, and there is clearly someone here at the house party feeding Lady A tidbits for her column. I didn’t want you to become a target of gossip again, and I went about it the wrong way. All I did was hurt you and not help you. For that, I am so, so sorry. You have no idea how much.”

  For a long moment, Josie said nothing. Instead, she kept her gaze locked on Phin’s. “I care for you, Phin. I’ll not call it love, for that is the height of foolishness, but I do care for you. When you seemingly tossed me aside after what we had shared? It broke something in me. Something even my father could not touch.”

  The previous night at dinner, though Josie had laughed and flirted with the gentlemen around her, she had been numb inside at the thought that Phin had used her and discarded her so callously. She knew she was hardly a good judge of character, but she had assumed she was better than to allow herself to be fooled so easily. It was a relief to know that she hadn’t been wrong about this man. At least not entirely wrong.

  “I am sorry, Josie, and that is why I brought you here.” Phin gestured around. “So that we might talk.”

  “To your love nest?” This was the part she was still a bit uncertain about.

  “To a place that has seen more heartache than love,” Phin corrected as he drew their joined hands to his mouth, kissing her fingers lightly. “A place designed to be difficult to find so that we will not be disturbed.”

  Unable to think of anything to say, Josie simply raised an eyebrow. That was, however, all Phin needed to continue.

  “Before Faith and I wed, she was much like any other young woman. She laughed and teased and, while she quoted the Bible with some frequency, I did not think anything amiss. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway as my father and hers had long ago decided that we would marry. The only way I could change my future was to give up my claim on the title, and that wasn’t something I was willing to do. As the only son, I knew my duty.”

  Something about the way Phin began his confession twisted something inside of Josie, and she knew that somehow, things had gone horribly wrong. “What changed?”


  “Changed?” Phin gave a sharp bark of laughter. “Nothing, really. After our wedding, I simply began to see that my new wife wasn’t quite the woman I believed her to be. She was cold and frigid, at least with me though not with other men, refusing to allow me to bed her at first.”

  “What changed?” Josie wasn’t certain she wished to know.

  Phin shrugged. “Her father pointed out that I would be within my rights to divorce her if the marriage were never consummated. If that happened, she would lose everything, including the money I lavished on her as well as her title.”

  Josie couldn’t imagine turning Phin away if he came to her with amorous pursuits. Especially if they were husband and wife. Faith Trew had been an idiot. “But you did eventually consummate the marriage.”

  “We did,” Phin acknowledged as he began to trace circles on the back of Josie’s hand with his thumb. “But only once. Faith said she hated feeling as if the servants were watching us. Judging us, or rather judging her, for being un-Godly. It was a lie, but it was a pretty one, especially as I knew she had taken other lovers before me. She did not come to the marriage bed an innocent. Far from it, actually.”

  Suddenly, Josie began to understand. “So, you built this place for her, hoping that if the two of you were alone, away from the rest of the world, she would change her mind.”

  “More or less, yes,” Phin sighed. “But it didn’t help. Nothing did. My wife was cold and god-fearing to the point where any sexual contact was a sin. Or so she claimed. Once she was with child? She vowed I would never touch her again. When I tried to reason with her, she had fits and threw objects at my head and attacked my staff. She was out of control, and no one, not even her father, could reason with her. She died because our son was born early. She had thrown a vase at my head and then tripped on the stairs in a fit of rage, inducing early labor. She passed a few days later. So, although she is Phillip’s mother, I cannot say that I am sorry she is gone.”