Loving the Wrong Lord

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  “Oh, Phin.” Josie slid off of the chair and sank onto the floor beside him. “I am sorry. I cannot imagine how hurt you were. By all of it.” She reached for him, cupping his face in her hands.

  “Hurt implies that I cared for her.” Phin covered her smaller hands with his much larger ones. “I didn’t. Perhaps in the beginning I did, but even by the time I built the love nest? It was a futile gesture, and I knew it. Still, I tried to do as she asked, thinking that if I did, she might at least care for me a bit.”

  Josie rose up on her knees so that she was now nose to nose with Phin. “Forgive me for saying so, but your late wife was selfish. She was cold, callous, and unfeeling. You deserved better. So does your son.”

  Josie would have said more, but she never had the chance because at that, Phin yanked her to him and kissed her. Hard. Harder than he ever had before. With a passion and desire that was borne of something she could not name and frightened her more than a little.

  And when his tongue sought out hers? She parted her lips and allowed him to taste her as the world she knew shrank down into a tiny speck of light and then exploded outward with blinding brilliance.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Josie’s kiss was incendiary. It was also everything kissing Faith had never been – full of desire. Desire for him.

  Oh, Phin had kissed other women before. Many of them actually. However, the kisses of women angling for the role of his duchess or hoping for a spot in his bed had always left him cold. The women had always held parts of themselves back, not wishing to get to close to him or allow him to see their true selves.

  Josie, however, had no such artifice. She kissed the way she spoke, brash, and uninhibited by social rules that made no sense to her.

  She also lacked skill, and Phin had the feeling that if he was not Josie’s first kiss, then he was nearly so. There was no manipulation to her kiss, not as one would find in most London debutantes. There was also an endearing innocence, and yet, lurking just beneath the surface, he could tell there was a deeply-held passion waiting to be unleashed – by the right man.

  Was he the right man? He had no idea, but a part of him very much wished to be.

  If this were to be the only time he could have with her, then he would have all of her and damn the consequences. Especially before he tied himself to another loveless, passionless marriage.

  If Phin could not have Josie, then he would at least have her passion. Some of it anyway.

  So, Phin kissed her back, pouring every ounce of passion he held for this woman into the kiss. This wasn’t love between them, and he wouldn’t fool himself into thinking that it was. Josie had been right about that.

  However, this was passion and passion, true passion, was something he had not enjoyed since before he wed Faith. However, even that small taste of passion, dimly remembered from his youth at Eton, was nothing in comparison to what he felt now with Josie.

  They should stop, of course, before they went too far. Phin had only wished to bring her here so that they might speak in private and so that he could explain why he had ignored her the previous day. Not to mention there was the added benefit of keeping her away from the main house while Radcliffe attempted to remove Cleary from the premises.

  Still, even though Phin’s mind urged him to end the kiss, his body was less inclined to do so. In fact, if his cock had its way, they would be doing a great deal more than kissing in the very near future.

  “Josie. Stop.” It took every bit of self-control that Phin possessed, but somehow, he pried his lips away from hers. “This is not why I brought you here. I only wished to apologize. And explain.”

  The sun must have gone behind a cloud for the room was darker now than it had been earlier, and Josie’s eyes sparkled brightly in the half-light. “Phin.” Her voice was husky and thick, as if she had so much that she wished to say but didn’t quite know how.

  He stroked a lock of hair back behind her ear. “I am sorry for yesterday, Josie. My time with Faith was unsettled at best and bloody miserable at its worst. And while I may not treat women like glass, I do tend toward the protective side where the fairer sex is concerned. The gossips are not wrong about that.”

  “What gentleman does not?” she teased. “Save for my father, and he was hardly a shining example of proper, gentlemanly behavior. Do not even get me started on the fact that I have all but lived in isolation for the better part of my life.” She bit her lip. “What I am trying to say, Phin, is that I am little better at, well, whatever this is between us than you are. Perhaps I am worse in some ways, for you, at least, have been married and out in Society. I have lived the life of a recluse. You are only the second man that I have ever kissed.”

  Gently, Phin brushed the pads of his thumbs over her cheeks. “I know. Or at least I can guess. But, Josie? We cannot do this. We can move past our attraction in other ways. Doing this? It is not right.”

  “Is it wrong?” Her light blue eyes had deepened to a rich sapphire color. “I see my future laid out before me, Phin, and it is dull and lifeless. To choose the path I would prefer would be to see me, to see us, hounded by the gossip rags until our dying day. I think we both know that we would never be free of the gossips. The scandal that brought us together that night at Lady Chillton’s was too great. Still, why can’t we have a taste of what that future might be like, if only for a little while? No one would know. No one would see.”

  Had this been another woman, Phin would have immediately accused her of attempting to trap him into marriage. But not Josie. She was not the sort. Nor was she that devious.

  “I would know.”

  “As would I.” She blinked up at him. “And, when I am old? I would remember that once upon a time, I knew passion. Real and honest passion. The sort I am unlikely to share with the man I marry.” Shaking her head, Josie sighed. “As it stands, I may never marry anyway. What gentleman would wish to saddle himself with the baggage I bring with me? The gossip and the whispers? The glances and fears that one day I might inherit the madness that befell my father and my sister?”

  Phin wanted to tell Josie that she was being overly dramatic, but in truth, she wasn’t. All of those were very valid, very real fears. Other scandals might come along, some bigger than the one caused by the late Earl of Telford.

  However, it was unlikely that Society as a whole would forget about her father either. Especially if Josie remained in London where her every movement could be reported on with relative ease. If she remained with him? The scandal would be even worse.

  Would there be any harm if they indulged just a bit more? Possibly to Phin’s conscience, but as of late, that hadn’t been bothering him all that much. As long as he protected Josie from a child, could they not do as they wished? She was right. Who would know?

  “We should not…” he began as he slid his hands down over her arms. She was warm and soft, pliant in his hands.

  “But we will anyway,” she finished for him. “I vow to you, Phin, you will not regret it.”

  “I know I won’t.”

  “Neither will I.”

  Reaching for her, Phin scooped Josie into his arms and headed for the stairs. If he was going to fuck her, he would do so properly. In a bed. As she deserved to be taken for her first time.

  He also promptly ignored the little voice in the back of his mind that whispered that if he was so hell-bent on doing this “properly” he wouldn’t do it at all. Or he would marry her first.

  Still, Josie was a grown woman, and she knew her own mind, more so than most. If she wanted this as badly as he did? There was no reason to deny themselves. No one would ever be the wiser.

  When they reached the second floor, Josie was surprised to see that it was all one, large, open space that was dominated by an enormous bed draped in lush red and flamboyant gold. It looked like the sort of bed that one might find in a brothel. And immediately, she felt her nipples tighten in anticipation of what the two of them might do here.

  Gently, Phin placed
her feet on the floor before turning her to face him. “If you change your mind…”

  “I won’t.” Josie was very certain about that.

  “If you change your mind, sweet, simply tell me, and I will stop. It won’t be easy, I warn you, but I will. I need you to know that I will never harm or disrespect you in that fashion.”

  Josie cupped Phin’s cheek. “I know that. I also know that I will not change my mind. I know what I desire, Phin, and at present? What I desire is you.” Deciding to be bold, she reached up and slid off the jacket to her riding habit. “Touch me, Phin. Please.”

  Her words were bold, but Josie was feeling bold just then. She was also more than a little terrified. Still, she wanted this. She wanted him. And she would have him. She hoped. And prayed.

  Phin hesitated only a moment before he began stripping away the remainder of her habit. It was the same one she had worn the other day, and he was at least passingly familiar with how to remove it, so his fingers made short work of the hooks and buttons and laces that kept her body confined within the mounds of fabric.

  When he paused to cup her breasts, Josie returned the favor, doing her best to remove his own clothing. She was not nearly so skilled as he was, and her fumbling fingers became more tangled as she attempted to undo his shirt.

  With a laugh, Phin took a step back and, when he was certain Josie was watching him closely, he quickly stripped off his clothes until he was glorious, wonderfully naked.

  “Oh!” Josie breathed in delight. This was her first look at a naked man, and it was nearly enough to give her the vapors. Or it would have if she had been a flightier woman given to such things.

  “Like what you see, do you?” Phin teased with a smile.

  “You know that I do.”

  In truth, Phin looked like a dark god with his curling dark hair and bronzed skin. His rich, coffee-brown eyes were almost black with desire now, and he gazed at Josie hungrily, as if he wished to devour her. Perhaps he did. Lord knew, she would allow it.

  The rest of his body held her equally as captivated. His chest was dusted lightly with dark, curling hair, and she already knew from the other day that it would be coarse and springy to the touch. A small line of hair traveled downward toward his cock, which now rose thick and proud between his legs.

  Josie felt herself grow damp between her legs at the sight of him and, though she was only half undressed and with her breasts bare, she dropped to her knees in front of him.

  “Josie. No. Ladies never…” He trailed off as she reached out her hand to grasp his swollen cock in her hands.

  “I know for certain that they do,” she replied. “I have seen the books.”

  Actually, Josie knew very little about what she was planning to do next, only that it was possible. Her father’s library hadn’t only contained books on astronomy and philosophy and gothic novels. It had been well-stocked with a number of erotic texts as well. She shouldn’t have read those books, but she had, and they had been rather helpfully illustrated.

  “Most ladies do not enjoy this.” Except from the expression on Phin’s face, it seemed to Josie that he might enjoy it if she did this.

  “I am not most ladies,” she reminded him before grasping his erect cock more firmly and sliding the tip into her mouth.

  Josie thought she might gag at first. Phin was enormous! And this was a lot more difficult than she had anticipated. However, when Phin groaned as she drew him deeper inside of her mouth, she was also determined to pleasure him in this manner.

  Slowly, she began to suck on him as she had seen in the books. When she found a pace that both of them seemed to enjoy, she began to experiment, running her tongue over the head of him and savoring the feel of his throbbing organ in her hands.

  When Phin’s hand reached down to guide her strokes, she allowed him to teach her how to please him. When he used his other hand to guide her head as he slowly began to thrust his hips, she followed his lead. She was an innocent. He was the teacher. And she was more than ready to learn whatever he wished to show her.

  He tasted both salty and sweet, and as Josie closed her eyes, she imagined doing this to him again and again. She thought she might enjoy it since she was enjoying it quite a bit just now. She had no doubt that Phin would enjoy repeated performances.

  Strangely, though she knew this was arousing him, she was also becoming aroused as well. Her feminine core began to ache, and she had an urge to pluck at her now-swollen nipples. She was wet clear through her drawers, and she could smell the musky scent of her sex.

  Josie’s blood was heating, and her body felt as if it was on fire. So much. She felt so much, and she had no idea how to find the release her body was craving.

  Over and over he guided her until soon, she felt his cock swelling even further in her mouth and heard him groan in what sounded like pleasure.

  “Josie. I need you to stop. Please.” Phin’s eyes were closed, his breathing was rapid, and he had a look of pure ecstasy on his face. “When I release, it will only be after I have pleasured you.”

  “Oh.” Sitting back, Josie accepted Phin’s hand as he helped her to her feet.

  She allowed him to spin her around so that he could undo the laces of her skirt and free her from the confining fabric. With strong, sure hands, he pushed what remained of her riding habit down and set to work on her corset and chemise.

  Once those were gone, he reached around her and cupped her breasts, pulling her back to him. She felt his erection throbbing against her arse, and a naught thrill shot through her at the oh-so-pleasurable sensation. Was it any wonder ladies begged for men to pleasure them? If this was only a small sampling of physical delights, she could understand why women craved them so.

  “You are lovely, Josie.” Phin kissed his way down the back of her neck and across her shoulders, all the while toying with her nipples. “So delicate and perfect.”

  “I am too thin,” she replied, parroting back the one complaint the few men who had vied for her attention back in her village had constantly repeated to her. “Too delicate.”

  Phin nuzzled her neck. “You remind me of a fairy.” Slowly, he slid his hand down to cup her intimately. “A rather erotic fairy at present, to be sure. And so wet for me.”

  When Phin ran a finger through her slick channel, Josie shuddered. “Oh, Phin. That was delightful.”

  He chuckled into her shoulder. “Then it is about to become even more delightful, my darling.” Gently, he turned her in his arms. “This is the last chance to change your mind, my darling Josie, for once I am inside of you? That cannot be undone.”

  “I don’t wish it to be,” she whispered. “I want to feel you, Phin. All of you. I want this. I want you.”

  Her last three words nearly undid him for Phin had never been desired for himself. For his title and his money? Yes. For his position in Society? That as well. But never had he been wanted for himself.

  Backing Josie toward the bed, Phin lifted her up once more and laid her down gently, kissing the length of her body as he did so. “This will hurt the first time, Josie, but it will get better. I swear that it will.”

  “I trust you.” She looked up at him with those innocent eyes, and he was nearly undone. Except that her eyes were no longer quite as innocent as they once were. Now they were dark with desire, just as his were, and they held a sparkle that had not been there before. A sparkle that indicated she had tasted physical pleasure – and wanted more.

  Phin settled himself between Josie’s legs, and with slow, deliberate strokes, began to tease her feminine mound with his fingers. He toyed with the hidden pearl of pleasure deep within her swollen folds and was inordinately pleased when she cried out his name the first time he touched her there.

  As he brought her closer and closer to the heights of pleasure they both sought, he began positioning himself until the head of his cock was poised at the entrance to her feminine core. When he slid the mushroom-shaped tip through her wetness, Josie screamed his name, and he had
never been more thankful for the distance between this love nest and the main house.

  “Spread your legs, sweet, so that I may come inside,” he urged, pleased when she did so. He eased himself inside, slowly at first, allowing her body to grow accustomed to the intrusion. Josie whimpered and clawed at him, her body bucking and thrashing beneath his as she surged toward completion.

  Just then, Phin was overwhelmed by the trust this delicate, fragile creature had put in him. He was enormous when compared to her. He could hurt her if he were that sort of man. Then he decided that she was not so delicate after all. No, she was strong and powerful. She was strong enough to know what she wanted and brave enough to seek it out.

  Josie could have refused his house party invitation. No one would have blamed her. And yet here she was. With him. Giving him not just her trust but her body as well. It was a gift that Phin did not deserve but one he would take anyway. In return, he would give Josie all of himself that he had to offer.

  “Phin! Please! I need you!” Josie’s voice was rough and pleading. She was clawing at his back, arching her hips into his.

  It was time.

  Grasping her hips firmly, Phin lifted her legs so that he could lock them around his waist. Then, he reached for her chin and tilted it up so that she would look at him.

  “You honor me, Josie. Now let me honor you.”

  She didn’t speak. Only nodded.

  And when he drove himself deep inside of her, his cock filling her feminine sheath, it felt like coming home.

  Josie cried out Phin’s name when he finally thrust inside of her. Their joining had hurt, but that moment had passed. Now it was only pleasure, and as he began to move within her, a whole new sensation began spiraling up inside of her.

  “Phin,” she gasped as he withdrew before thrusting back inside of her again. “I need you. More. Please. More.”