The Boys' Book 3

by STEVE MARTIN

  3. Spray the whole slide with water, either from a hose pipe, or by throwing several buckets of water over it. Squeeze some washing-up liquid along the length of the plastic to give you extra sliding power.

  It’s now ready to use. Take a good run up and then, without stopping, drop on to the slide in a sitting position, then lie on your back and whizz along the slide. If you’re feeling daring, you could try and make it all the way along the slippery slide on your feet, but be warned – it’s very tricky to keep your balance. However you tackle your water slide, make sure that there are no obstacles at the end of it so that you land safely.

  HOW TO MAKE A COIN GO THROUGH A TABLE

  Slamming a coin down on a table so that it looks like it goes straight through is a quick and impressive trick to learn. It’s also a trick you can do anywhere as all you need is a coin and a table. The best time to do it, though, is at lunch or dinner when everyone is sitting around a table.

  WHAT YOU DO

  1. Sit at the table with the coin in your right hand and your left hand resting on your lap.

  2. Raise your right hand and slam the coin on the table so your hand is covering it. Slide your hand off the table and make a fist so it looks like you are picking the coin up.

  3. When you slide your hand to the edge of the table, let the coin fall into your lap. It is important that you sit with your legs together so the coin doesn’t drop onto the floor.

  4. Now, raise your right hand, still in a fist. Remember there is no coin in this hand now, although those watching think that there is.

  5. While everyone is watching your right hand, pick the coin off your lap with your left hand and hold it under the table at the spot above which your right hand is going to land.

  6. Slam your right hand down on the table so that, once again, your hand is flat. At exactly the same time as your right hand lands, use your left hand to hit the underside of the table with the coin. It is this sound of the coin hitting the table that makes the trick work.

  7. As everyone watches, raise your right hand so they can see there is no coin on the table or in your hand.

  8. Remove your left hand from under the table and show the coin. To the confused audience, it will look as if the coin has gone straight through the table and landed in your left hand.

  HOW TO WIN THE TOUR DE FRANCE

  The Tour de France is one of the world’s toughest races – it’s a worthy challenge for any boy who wants to be the best at everything. Over a period of three weeks, the top cyclists in the world race nearly 3,500 kilometres, sometimes cycling more than 200 kilometres in a single day, riding over some of Europe’s most fearsome mountains. If you plan to beat them, there are a few things to bear in mind.

  1. Don’t cheat! The first winner was Maurice Garin in 1903, who received a hero’s welcome when he crossed the finish line. The following year, he won again but was stripped of his title when it was discovered he had sneakily taken the train to arrive first.

  2. Eat like a horse. In fact, eat like two horses. A cyclist on the Tour uses about three times more energy than an average man. So, a typical breakfast would be two big bowls of cereal, plenty of fruit, a four-egg omelette and a large bowl of pasta.

  3. Don’t expect a fantastic prize for winning. The winner receives a jersey. The overall winner gets a yellow jersey, the best young rider gets a white one, and the King of the Mountains (the fastest rider up the mountains) receives a red polka-dot jersey. There is also prize money to be had, but the winner usually gives this away to his team-mates.

  TOP TRAINING TIPS

  It’s important to train properly for the Tour de France, or any cycling event that you’re planning on tackling. Follow these top tips to be a real cycling superstar:

  • Make sure your bike’s saddle is at the correct height. You should be able to touch the ground with your foot when you tilt the bike slightly.

  • Safe riding is essential. Wear a helmet whenever you are on your bike. A large part of the Tour de France takes place on roads, but while you’re training you should never cycle on your own, and always stay away from busy roads. The best and most fun way to cycle safely is to join your local cycling club.

  • Don’t start by attempting long distances – build up slowly. If you can comfortably cycle three kilometres, try doing five.

  • When going on a long ride, drink water regularly. Cycling can cause dehydration, which means your body isn’t getting enough liquid.

  • Remember that the Tour de France is a race, and if you want to be in with a chance of winning you need to develop speed as well as endurance. Every now and again while you’re cycling, try sprinting as fast as you can for 30 seconds.

  • Find a nearby hill and practise using your bike’s gears. If you use them correctly, you should be able to keep to the same speed as you travel upwards. What goes up must come down, so it’s important to practise a downhill technique, too. When cycling downhill, keep your upper body relaxed and start to brake before any bends to avoid your wheels skidding.

  HOW TO OPEN A COCONUT

  There’s nothing that sums up the taste of the tropics as much as cool coconut milk and the wonderful flavour of white coconut. If you should find yourself feeling peckish while on a tropical island paradise, then you need to crack the method for opening a coconut to get at the delicious food inside. Here’s how:

  1. First, pull off the hairy layer around the outside of the coconut with your fingers.

  2. Look closely at the coconut. You will see three black spots, each the size of a small coin. These are the coconut’s weak spots. Push a sharp stick through two of these holes and hold the coconut over a container to let the milk drain out.

  3. There is a line, called a ‘seam’, running between the top two black spots. Follow this to the middle of the coconut, then form an imaginary line around the fattest part of the middle.

  4. Tap the coconut sharply with a rock all the way around this imaginary line. The coconut should soon break apart into two halves.

  5. Once your coconut is open, you can carefully cut the white bits away from the shell. Check that they don’t smell sour or mouldy, and then pop them into your mouth.

  HOW TO MAKE A SCARY COSTUME

  There are many occasions that call for a really scary costume, so you should know how to create a terrifying impression easily and very effectively. Vampires, zombies and monsters can all be a bit disturbing, but for true terror nothing beats the Grim Reaper. He appears in his dark robes, carrying his scythe and bringing death to all he chooses to visit. Read on to find out how to transform your nice, handsome self into a being that strikes horror into the bravest soul.

  You Will Need:

  • white and black face paints • a broom handle • two pieces of thin card (two flattened cereal packets will do) • a small can of silver spray paint (ask an adult to buy this for you, or use grey poster paint) • a pen • sticky tape

  WHAT YOU DO

  1. Flatten each cereal packet and draw the shape of the scythe blade on both of them, making sure that the shapes are exactly the same size. Then cut them out.

  2. Lay the shapes on a piece of newspaper so they are facing back to back as shown. Spray the silver paint so it completely covers your scythe shapes. Make sure you are in a well-ventilated area when you do this, and spray the paint at arm’s length, away from your face.

  3. Spray paint dries quickly, but make sure it is fully dry. If it’s still wet, it will stick to the newspaper. Leave it to dry for about half an hour to make sure.

  4. Take the broom handle and tape one of your terrifying scythes to each side of the top of the handle. Use lots of tape so it is fixed securely.

  FINISHING TOUCHES

  Now you have finished the centrepiece of your costume, it’s time to dress the part. The Grim Reaper wears a long, black cloak with a hood. Perhaps you or a member of your family has a black coat you can use. Alternatively, a blanket works well if you place it over your head and shoulders. Put
a belt around the waist and a safety pin just under your neck to hold the blanket in place.

  Finally, use white face paint to cover your face and hands and use the black face paint to make circles round your eyes and over your lips. Now you’re ready to do some serious scaring.

  HOW TO THROW A FRISBEE

  There are some skills that mark out the cool people from everyone else, and one of these is being able to throw a Frisbee. It is essential you know how to do this so that everyone at the beach or in the park is in no doubt whatsoever that you are one of the cool guys.

  There are three things to get right if you are going to do this well – gripping the Frisbee, swinging your arm, and throwing the Frisbee.

  Note: The instructions below are for right-handed people. If you are left-handed, simply reverse the left and right instructions.

  THE GRIP

  Hold the Frisbee with your palm against the rim, your fingers wrapped round the rim and your thumb on top. Your wrist should be curled slightly inwards, towards your body.

  THE SWING

  Your arm should be across your body. In other words, hold the Frisbee in your right hand and bring your right arm across your chest so the Frisbee is to the left of your body.

  THE THROW

  Move your arm away from your body and release the Frisbee when the angle between your arm and your body is about 45°. Release it with a quick snap of the wrist. It is your wrist that is providing the power to make the Frisbee fly.

  TOP THROWING TIPS

  • Keep looking at the person you are throwing to, not at the Frisbee.

  • It is important the Frisbee is level when you release it. It should not tilt down, or to the left or right.

  • Your movements should be nice and smooth. There is no need to throw it as hard as you can. The chances are this will just make the Frisbee fly off in the wrong direction.

  HOW TO LEARN YOUR NINE TIMES TABLE VERY EASILY

  Spending hours memorizing your times tables can be a real drag, but with this simple trick the nine times table will puzzle you no longer. All you need to do is hold out your hands with the palms facing you.

  1 x 9: Bend finger number one (the thumb on your left hand). There are nine fingers to the right of this finger, so the answer is 9.

  2 x 9: Release your thumb and bend finger number two. There is one finger to the left of the one you have bent down (making one in the tens column) and eight fingers to the right (the units column). So, the answer is one ten and eight units: 18.

  3 x 9: Bend finger number three. There are two fingers to the left of the one you have bent down (making two in the tens column) and seven fingers to the right (the units column). So, the answer is two tens and seven units: 27.

  4 x 9: Bend finger number four. There are three fingers to the left of the one you have bent down and six fingers to the right, giving an answer of 36.

  5 x 9: Bend finger number five. There are four fingers to the left and five to the right, so 5 x 9 is 45.

  6 x 9: Bend finger six. There are five fingers to the left and four to the right, so 6 x 9 is 54.

  7 x 9: Bending finger seven leaves six fingers to the right and three to the left, making 63.

  8 x 9: Bending finger eight gives seven fingers and two fingers, making 72.

  9 x 9: Bending finger nine gives eight fingers and one finger, making 81.

  10 x 9: Bending the last finger leaves nine fingers to the left and none to the right, so 10 x 9 is 90.

  Easy, isn’t it? Unfortunately, you’ve now run out of fingers, so you’ll have to learn the last two: 11 x 9 = 99 and 12 x 9 = 108. But, you’ll never again have problems with multiplying nine by any number up to ten.

  HOW TO SHUFFLE CARDS LIKE A PRO

  Shuffling cards is not just about mixing the deck before a game. It’s also a great chance to impress your friends with your coolness. Next time you play cards, instead of shuffling in the normal way, why not use the Riffle Shuffle. This looks difficult – which is why it will impress everyone – but only takes a little bit of practice to get right.

  WHAT YOU DO

  1. Split the pack in half. The cards only need to be split roughly in half, so there’s no need to count them out.

  2. Take one half in your left hand, holding the top of the half-deck with your thumb and the bottom with your middle finger.

  3. Do the same to the other half of the deck with your right hand.

  4. Hold the two half-decks upside down and next to each other, just above a table.

  5. Push the decks into a curve by pressing the knuckle of your index finger into the back of them. Lean the cards on the table if necessary.

  6. The next part takes a little practice to get right. Fire the cards down on to the table, releasing them smoothly by curving your thumb slowly away. The cards should spring down so that, as cards from your left hand land on the table, cards from your right hand interweave with them. This continues until all the cards are on the table and mixed up.

  7. Carefully lift up the two half-decks, one in each hand. You could just slide them together into one deck now, but not if you want to look like a real card-shuffling pro. So, push the cards in slightly and then, resting your thumbs on the top of the decks, place your other fingers underneath and bend the decks upwards.

  8. Finally, let go with your fingers and push down with your thumbs while pressing your palms inwards. The cards will spring together into one pack.

  HOW TO CUSTOMIZE YOUR T-SHIRT

  However cool your T-shirt is, chances are that someone will have the same one. A great way to make sure you really stand out (and have lots of fun, too) is to create your very own designer shirt.

  You Will Need:

  • a plain T-shirt • two pieces of thick cardboard • a pencil • a marker pen • scissors • fabric paint • a paintbrush • old newspaper • sticky tape

  To make this cool ‘crazy face’ T-shirt you are going to make a stencil using one of your pieces of cardboard. A stencil is a cut-out shape used to paint your image onto your T-shirt, so when you’re finished, the face will be printed onto your T-shirt in one, bright, bold colour.

  WHAT YOU DO

  1. Take one of your pieces of cardboard and make sure that it is big enough to cover the T-shirt. Using the pencil, draw the shape of the eyes and the mouth onto the card.

  2. Fill in the shapes you have drawn using the marker pen, this will give you an idea of what your finished T-shirt will look like.

  3. Carefully cut the shape out of the cardboard. Poke the scissors through the centre of the tongue and start from this hole, working outwards to the outline of the mouth and tongue until you have a mouth-shaped hole in the cardboard. Do the same for the eyes, first cutting around the outer black line, and then the inner line. You will be left with two, smaller pieces of cardboard that fit inside the eyes – do not throw these away. Ask an adult to help you if you find this tricky.

  4. Place your T-shirt on some sheets of old newspaper and put the other piece of card inside the shirt. This card stops the paint going through to the back of the T-shirt.

  5. Put your stencil on top of the T-shirt so the picture is where you want it to be and tape it in place. Make sure you tape the centres of the eyes in place too, using loops of sticky tape.

  6. Now, carefully brush the fabric paint onto the T-shirt. By using the stencil, the paint only goes onto the part of the shirt where the cut-out shape is.

  7. Leave the stencil taped to the shirt for a couple of hours while the paint dries and then carefully remove it. Your new ‘crazy face’ T-shirt is now ready to wear.

  HOW TO FLIP A PANCAKE

  If you fancy a nice, quick snack, have a go at making, flipping and eating a delicious pancake. This recipe is enough to make eight pancakes, so you can share them with your friends.

  You Will Need:

  • 125 g plain flour • 250 ml milk • an egg • olive oil • a tasty topping • a fantastic flipping technique

  WHAT YOU DO


  1. Add the flour and milk to a mixing bowl.

  2. Crack the egg and pour this into the bowl. When you’ve done this, mix the ingredients together with a whisk until the mixture (called ‘batter’) is smooth and has no lumps.

  3. Heat about a teaspoonful of oil in a frying pan and then tilt the pan and move it in a circular motion so a thin layer of oil covers the bottom of the pan.

  4. Using a ladle, pour a small amount of batter into the middle of the pan. Repeat the motion you made with the oil to spread a thin layer of batter over the whole pan.

  5. Cook the pancake on a low-to-medium heat until the batter is firm.

  FLIPPING MARVELLOUS

  Shake the frying pan to make sure the pancake is loose. If it’s sticking to the pan, ease it up gently with a spatula. The pancake needs to be loose so you get a good takeoff.

  Hold the pan loosely in your hand. Give it a quick, sharp flick upwards. Start with the pan pointing slightly downwards and use a scooping motion to make sure the pancake turns over in the air.

  Catch the pancake in your frying pan and let it cook for a minute on the other side.

  TOP TOPPING TIPS

  You can add whatever you like to your finished pancake, but here are some tasty topping ideas to get you started:

  Lemon and sugar: The classic.

  Maple syrup: A sweet treat.