by S. Allen
They met for coffee a few days later by luck. Ro finished up a meeting with a new client and texted Julian. Julian replied he was working from a coffee shop and invited Ro to join him.
“Rowen,” Julian said in greeting as Ro approached the table, cappuccino in hand.
“Excuse me?”
“Your name. Right?”
“No. Who says Ro is short for anything?” Ro teased.
“Fine. Is Ro short for anything?” Julian asked.
“Yes.” Ro answered with a wide smile.
“What’s it short for?”
“Not telling.”
“Why not?”
“This, you guessing, is too much fun.” Ro laughed, he leaned down and kissed Julian on the cheek before sitting across from him. Julian blushed and took a quick glance around to see if anyone saw the sweet gesture.
“Was that okay?” Ro hadn’t even given it a second thought before giving into the impulse to be affectionate with Julian. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or assume that you’d welcome my touch. I just couldn’t help myself.”
“It’s fine. I’m just not used to it. Greyson had been adamant that we kept our relationship out of the public eye.” Julian closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he organized his thoughts. “I want to be able to freely express how I feel with who I’m dating. I always hated how Grey denied our relationship in public. I mean, no one asked if we were together so he never had to say no, but he never claimed me even if someone was plainly flirting with me.”
“Sounds like he was hiding to me,” Ro commented. He tried to keep the judgment out of his voice but was pretty sure he did a terrible job. In his opinion Greyson was either ashamed of being gay or hiding his relationship because he was playing the field unbeknownst to Julian. Both options angered him. Julian was wonderful and if he was ever given the opportunity to be his official boyfriend, he would be proud to have Julian on his arm.
Julian made a noncommittal sound before saying, “I like that you didn’t hesitate to show affection.”
“I’m a regular snuggle bunny. It’s good for the kids to get healthy, safe hugs. I can count on one hand how many hugs I got before I was a teenager. Touch, it’s important, you know? Now I don’t even realize how affectionate I am, so you let me know if I cross any lines.” Ro winked.
“Your parents weren’t the hugging kind?”
“Not in the least. But that’s a story for another day. So, why are you working here instead of your office?” Ro smoothly changed the subject.
“I don’t have any meetings this afternoon and wanted a change of scenery. Besides, they have amazing coffeecake.”
“Did you save me a bite?”
“No, but if you want to grab another one and an éclair I’ll split them with you.” Julian gave a toothy grin blatantly showing off his sweet tooth.
“I love éclairs. I’ll be right back.”
“Thank you for the gift,” Julian said when Ro returned with their goodies. “My co-workers were very amused.”
“I thought it was funny.” Ro pictured the plant he’d sent. It was two curled bamboo stalks and he’d made a tombstone that read Here dies two plant souls. Not because we weren’t loved and cared for by Julian, but because we were done with this life confined to a pot. End plant slavery! P.S. Go ahead and water us until we die.
“I especially loved the plant slavery part. I mean what kind of life is that, stuck sitting on my desk?” Julian chuckled.
“I figured you wouldn’t feel guilty that way if they died. They are still alive, right?”
“Seriously? It’s been two days. Do you have such little faith?”
“Well, I didn’t want to assume.” Ro shrugged his shoulders.
“Jerk,” Julian said playfully. “By the way, how was your meeting?”
“Great. I basically get to do whatever I want with an unlandscaped backyard. The clients’ parents are paying for it as a wedding gift. I just have to have it finished by the time the couple returns from their honeymoon. My cousin, Vinnie, isn’t going to like the timeline though.”
“Every time you say your cousin Vinnie, I picture Danny Devito standing next to you.”
“You mean Joe Pesci.”
“Yes. You know who I meant, so then you imagine the same thing, right?”
“A short Italian man? Not really. Vinnie is a skinny version of me but with a trimmed goatee instead of a full beard.” Ro stroked his thick beard.
Julian’s hand reached up and paused before he pulled back and scratched the side of his neck. Ro wondered if Julian wanted to touch his beard and then chickened out last second. It would have been strange but welcomed nonetheless.
“Is your name Alessandro?” Julian asked hopefully.
“Afraid not.”
“Isn’t that the punch line to a joke? I’m a frayed knot.” Julian laughed even though he couldn’t remember the actual joke.
“You are just too cute, Jules.” Ro desperately wanted to lean over the table kiss Julian on the lips. He wanted to claim him as his and make a home with him. His inner happily-ever-after was in full effect. “Slow,” Ro repeated in his head. Julian was skittish and he needed to be eased into the idea of a committed relationship.
“Come on, Alessandro would fit you perfectly. I can picture you in a fedora, sipping espresso in a quaint little Italian café with Claire perched on your shoulder. I’m sure she’d love to take walks on cobblestone streets, meowing with an accent and everything. Even her name sounds fancy and sophisticated, not like Fluffy or Snowball.”
“Nice image, but no. And I named Claire after my favorite dessert, the éclair.” Ro took the last bite of their shared éclair. They chatted for another hour before Ro reluctantly had to head back to the nursery. He didn’t give Julian a good-bye kiss like he wanted to, but when he squeezed Julian’s shoulder upon leaving; he was pleased to feel the man lean into his touch.
Ro drove back to the nursery on autopilot. Instead of concentrating on the plans he needed to talk over with Vinnie, he couldn’t stop picturing Julian’s smile. He was already planning to find the silly joke Julian had remembered the punch line to, but not the actual joke, and text it to him by the end of the day. Ro parked and walked into the nursery looking for Vinnie. Maybe Vinnie knew the joke.
“Hi, Ro,” Jim called out. Jim had been working at the nursery for almost a year. Ro met Jim at the local youth center while he was volunteering several years back. Jim would go there after school to play basketball and do his homework. It was helpful that some of the staff members would make time to tutor. It was a great place to keep kids busy and off the streets. Ro and Vinnie often employed at risk teens as a way to show them that there are other options than gang life. Most of them haven’t known anything except violence and crime. Ro had grown up as one of those kids and knew the hopelessness of thinking you could never break the cycle of teenage moms living in poverty, violence, drug abuse and despair.
“Hey, Jim. How’s it going today?”
“Good. Sold a bunch of pre-planted window boxes. Some gardening blogger wrote about them being the thing to have and someone created one of those Pinterest pages. It was super funny, one lady handed me a printout of a window box filled with exotic plants and I was like, ‘Ma’am, those plants won’t grow here.’ I’m pretty sure they were fake plants, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. So, I helped her pick out some stuff and plant them in the box before she left. She was real happy and spent some serious dough. Maybe we should offer classes on stuff like that. You know, have them pay a fee to be taught how and then they can buy all the supplies here too?”
Ro chuckled. When Jim first started working for them he barely spoke. Now he only stopped talking long enough to take a breath before he launched into his next thought. “That’s a great idea. I’ll talk to Vinnie about it. Where is he anyway?”
“The V-man went out on a call. There’s Darcy. Thanks for making our schedules offset.” Darcy was new and having difficulty a
ssimilating to non-thug life. She just turned eighteen and had a three-year-old son. She was released from juvie on her birthday and said she wanted out of gang life. She moved out of her old neighborhood and now lived with her aunt. But despite moving she stilled showed off her tattoos and wouldn’t clean up her language.
“Yo, Slim Jim.” Darcy chomped on her gum.
“I told you not to call me that. My name is Jim. Just Jim.” Jim had been arrested for steeling cars before he cleaned up his act. He had been carjacking since he was thirteen. At first it was to joyride and then he got involved with a chop shop.
“Okay, Just Jim.”
“Hello, Darcy. Spit out the gum. You know the rules.” Ro was tired of her attitude. All of his employees knew they were hired on a three-month probation trail. Darcy was only one month in and Ro did not see her having a future working with him.
“Sorry, boss-man.” Darcy spit her gum into the trashcan.
“So, Luke is up at the register and the annuals need to be watered.” Jim instructed before taking his apron off. No one was allowed to work the register until they had been employed for six-months after the probation period. Darcy frowned but quickly covered it up when she noticed Ro watching her.
“No sweat. I’m on it.” Darcy grinned widely at Ro and rubbed up against him as she walked by heading towards the annuals. Ro shuttered. She knew he was gay but seemed to think she could be the exception. Turning back to the young man, Ro clasped his shoulder and said, “Thanks, Jim. Good job.”
Jim blushed at the compliment. “You know she’s trouble, right? I’m not trying to over step, but the girl’s got an agenda. Not sure what, I mean she knows you like, um men and all, but I think she thinks she can get into yours or even Vinnie’s bed and then not have to work or something. I just don’t trust her.”
“I know, Jim. Thanks for being comfortable enough to tell me how you feel. I don’t see Darcy having much of a future with us, but you know that we give everyone a chance. She might have a change of heart.”
“Sure and I’m actually a merman from Atlantis.” Jim laughed and shook his head before turning towards the employee lounge to clock out.
Vinnie walked through the back door smiling. “Hey, Ro. How was your date?”
“It wasn’t really a date. We just got coffee.”
“Well, that stupid grin must mean it was a really good not-date coffee date.”
“Shut up.” Ro punched Vinnie in the arm before heading to their shared office. “Hey, do you know where I can get some sea monkeys?”
“What?” Vinnie asked bewildered.
“I want to send some to Julian. I think he’d get a kick out of them. Jim said something about merman and it led me to sea monkeys.”
“Jim said what about what? Never mind. I can barely keep up with him when he’s talking about something I do understand.” Vinnie grinned. “Did he tell you about holding classes and stuff?”
“Yeah. He’s got some great ideas. We should figure out a schedule, put him in charge and see how it pans out. If it’s a success we should give him a raise or a percentage of the sales based on the class or something.” Ro and Vinnie solidified plans and worked on their calendar for the following month.
Before turning his computer off and going home, Ro ordered a sea monkey kit to be delivered to Julian’s home. The man needed a pet. Maybe he could train them to do tricks in their little plastic tank.
***
Julian had never been so tired at work, but the late night conversations were worth it. Ro had quickly become a friend and someone who took center stage in Julian’s thoughts. Their schedules had been busy and they hadn’t been able to meet up for anything more intimate than a cup of coffee or a quick lunch, but Julian was quite aware of how much Ro was becoming to mean to him. He looked forward to their conversations. He loved texting random things to Ro, excited to read the response. Just thinking of the man could bring an unconscious smile to Julian’s face.
He turned off the light and slid under the covers hoping he’d get to talk with Ro before he fell asleep. For the hundredth time he reached over to check his cell phone to see if he’d missed a text and then dropped the damn thing when it actually rang.
“Hey, Ro.”
“Did I wake you?”
“It’s not that late.” Julian protested despite the fact he was in bed.
“I know, but you have a set schedule that requires much earlier risings than mine. I just didn’t want to interrupt your beauty rest.”
“Beauty rest, hardy-har-har.”
“Did you feed your new pets?” Ro snickered. He knew how Julian felt about them.
“Yes and they’re disgusting. Aren’t they a type of shrimp or something? You couldn’t just send me a pet rock or a chia pet?”
“Maybe those items are on my to-be-sent list. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Ro knew Julian loved his odd gifts. Even though he complained, his smile was huge and he made a point to bring them up often in conversation.
“So, how was your day?” Julian asked genuinely interested.
“Good, long. I had signed up to assist with an art class at the youth center ages ago. I had completely forgotten about it until I got a text this afternoon asking if I could bring a snack. And then we got a new shipment in at the nursery just before I had to head over to the youth center; so after the class I had to go back to work and get everything catalogued and setup for the staff to put away tomorrow. But it was worth it. The kids had fun and I think a few realized they had real talent. You know that’s the point, to show them they are more than where they come from, that they have worth and can be something other than what they know from home.”
“It amazes me how selfless you are. You volunteer so much of your time and never complain about it.” Julian paused thinking back on the last few months he’d spent with Greyson. It had been difficult watching someone he was supposed to be in love with dying. It broke his heart to see Greyson suffer, but he had to play the role of his lover and not simply as a friend. Julian didn’t love Greyson in that way and was still angry. He wanted to yell and burn Greyson’s clothes and every other childish thing a scorned lover did. But instead he was stuck holding Greyson’s weakening hand as he edged closer to death each day. Julian couldn’t speak at the funeral, more out of resentment than grief. Realizing he’d spent far too long being mad and resentful, he took a deep breath and said, “Maybe I should look into doing some volunteer work at the hospital or something.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“Yeah, I have to admit I’m still mad about Greyson and move on. Maybe helping others will help me.” Julian admitted.
“That sounds very wise. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really, maybe later. So, why did you choose to work with the youth center?”
“I was one of those kids. I had just gotten arrested and was going to be charged as an adult until Vinnie stepped in. Ultimately, I spent a lot of hours doing community service and working weekends at our local youth center. Vinnie was there to help me and now I’m, what do they say, paying it forward. Even a small interaction can make a huge difference in someone else’s life.”
“Very true. Can I ask what you did?”
“It’s a long list, I hate to admit. I was in foster care and acting out. Well, that’s an understatement. I was hanging out with a bad crowd, or you could say a gang. I was their errand boy.” Ro paused letting the silence fill in what he didn’t say. “Vinnie had just returned home from serving four years overseas in the Army. He was disgusted to find out what I’d been up to.”
Ro got lost in the memory as he told the story. His foster dad, Pete, had picked him up from the police station. Ro had been arrested while trying to break into a car. He’d been lucky because just an hour earlier he’d been running a ‘package’ across town. He knew if he’d been caught with it, the possession and intent to sell charges would not have made his life any easier.
Pete was a good foster parent. H
e wanted Ro to have a chance; he cared. He made time for Ro and was there when he needed him. Pete was so disappointed to be picking Ro up from the police station again. It was the first time he didn’t yell or ask why. He simply put his hand up and shook his head when Ro tired—in his pathetic teenage way—to excuse his behavior.
As they were pulling into the driveway Pete finally spoke, “There’s someone here to see you. I sure as hell hope that maybe he can set you straight. I know I’m out of ideas.” He didn’t wait for a response before exiting the vehicle.
Ro sat there for several minutes stunned. He knew he was breaking rules and pushing Pete’s patience, but he didn’t expect to hear the hurt in Pete’s voice. Ro was making bad decisions for himself, but he had never taken a moment to see if those decisions were impacting the people around him. A knock at the window drew him out of his internal analysis. Ro turned to see a familiar face glaring back at him.
“Vinnie!” Ro shouted and opened the door, throwing himself into Vinnie’s arms. “I missed you so much.” Ro lost his teen vibrato and simply held on to his cousin with the desperation of a lost child found.
Vinnie sighed but held tight. “Ro, what is going on with you?”
Ro stepped back and dropped his head.
“Let’s go inside and chat.” Vinnie led them back in the house and towards the room Ro shared with another foster brother. It was empty and they sat side-by-side on the bed.
“No one called me when it happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Vinnie’s eyes shimmered with regret.
“How could you know? You were making yourself a better life and…” Ro stopped unable to voice what he lived through.
“God, kid.” Vinnie pulled him into a side hug. “You’re supposed to be better than this shit. Should be keeping your head down and nose clean, looking forward to going to college. I get home and this, THIS bullshit is what you’re doing? We agreed to never be a part of this life. How many times do you remember seeing the street blocked off? The white sheets covering bodies? How many did we know by name? Their lives wasted, becoming nothing but white lumps the police shake their heads at and add to the statistics. And you running with Biggie E, I know you’ve been running for him. That shit killed my ma. At least tell me you’re not using too.”