Love Changes Everything

by Love Changes Everything (retail) (epub)

  ‘I’m not asking you to pay for it, luv,’ the woman told her. ‘It’s a little Christmas present. Isn’t it, dear?’ she said looking at Cilla who nodded and gave her a beaming smile.

  When they reached home, Trixie smuggled the parcel into their bedroom and hid it underneath the bedclothes so that Daisy wouldn’t find it. She put a finger on her lips to signal to Cilla that it was to be kept a secret.

  The moment her father and Daisy went out to the pub she fetched the bag out of its hiding place and unfolded the two dresses. They were even nicer than she had thought when she’d chosen them.

  Cilla was eager to try her dress on so Trixie helped her to change into it. When she saw the delight on her little sister’s face as she put on the hairband and then admired herself in the mirror, Trixie felt it had been well worth sacrificing their savings for that week.

  As she tried on her own new dress and discovered how well it fitted, Trixie hoped that Andrew would think it looked attractive when he saw her in it for the first time.

  All day on Saturday she could think of nothing else. When she told Sylvia what was ahead Sylvia looked puzzled. ‘I thought it was Jake you were keen on,’ she said in surprise. ‘All this talk of saving up to get a place of your own and Jake looking after the money and taking care of Cilla so that you can work and so on.’

  ‘Jake’s the best friend in the world, I don’t know how I would manage without him, but I’m in love with his friend, Andrew Bacon,’ Trixie told her dreamily. ‘It’s over two months since I last saw him and I can hardly wait for this evening.’

  ‘So is Jake going to this party as well?’

  ‘We hope so, if his mother will look after Cilla, otherwise Jake has will stay home with Cilla.’

  Sylvia raised her eyebrows but said no more and for a moment Trixie wondered why she seemed to be so surprised by the arrangement. Did other people think that Jake was her boyfriend because they were always together and he did so much to help her? She pushed the matter to one side; all she wanted to think about was that she would soon be seeing Andrew again.

  The party was in a restaurant in Great Homer Street and by the time Trixie and Jake arrived it was already very crowded with people neither of them knew.

  The man on the door looked at them questioningly and explained that it was a private party. He didn’t seem to be very convinced when Jake said they’d both been invited and insisted on calling over to Andrew to verify that this was true.

  It took Andrew several minutes to extricate himself from the circle of back-slapping friends who surrounded him. As he began to make his way towards the door exchanging remarks with people as he did so, Jake raised a hand in greeting.

  ‘They’re friends,’ Andrew called out to the doorman, ‘you can let them in.’

  Trixie waited expectantly for him to come over to them but instead he went back to the group he’d been talking to. Disappointed, Trixie let Jake take her coat and hand it to the cloakroom girl. She barely noticed his admiring look when he saw her new dress as they went into the restaurant.

  As she stood there beside Jake, slowly sipping a glass of wine and looking around, she suddenly felt very out of things. She’d thought her new dress was lovely but in comparison with some of the dresses the other girls were wearing it was plain almost to the point of dowdiness. It was the sort of dress they would wear perhaps on a Sunday for going to church or spending the day with their family. Their party dresses were much more flimsy and floaty, in delicate silks and chiffons, with low necks, puff sleeves and fancy flouncing.

  She wished she could turn and run away before Andrew realised how out of place she was in such a gathering. Even Jake, she reflected, although he was wearing his best suit, didn’t look anywhere near as smartly dressed as the other men there, even though he was the most handsome.

  She stole a sideways glance at him, wondering if he felt as uncomfortable and out of place as she did. He certainly didn’t look as though he was enjoying himself, she thought ruefully. She was very glad that he was there because Andrew was paying her no attention whatsoever and she would have felt dreadfully out of things if she’d come on her own.

  The evening was almost over before Andrew came over to where she and Jake were standing in a corner; he’d had so many drinks that he was very exuberant.

  ‘What’s wrong with you two?’ he greeted them. ‘Why aren’t you enjoying the party? Come on; enter into the spirit of things.’ He flicked open his cigarette case and held it out to Jake. ‘Your glass is almost empty and you’re not even smoking!’

  He turned to Trixie as if seeing her for the first time. ‘I haven’t had time to talk to you properly, have I?’ he admitted with an apologetic smile.

  ‘No, I’m still waiting to hear all about your course and if it was successful.’

  ‘Of course it was! What on earth do you think I’m celebrating otherwise?’

  ‘I hoped that perhaps it was because you were glad to be back in Liverpool again.’

  He shrugged dismissively. ‘Any excuse for a good party, what do you say, Jake?’

  ‘I’ll leave you two to catch up,’ Jake said awkwardly.

  ‘There’s no need, I can’t stop now because they want me over there,’ he nodded in the direction of the crowd he’d been with, ‘things will probably quieten down in about another hour so the three of us will have a chance to get together then.’

  ‘That’s if we’re still here,’ Jake said, looking at his watch.

  ‘Why, where are you going?’ Andrew frowned. ‘The night’s still young; it’s not even midnight yet.’

  ‘It had better not be,’ Trixie said quickly. ‘I’ve left Cilla with Ella and she likes to go to bed around eleven.’

  ‘Cilla or Ella?’ Andrew said with a sneering laugh.

  ‘My mother,’ Jake said quietly. ‘She’s not much of a one for late nights so we’ll have to be off soon.’

  ‘Well, perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, Trixie, when you take Cilla to the park,’ Andrew said almost dismissively as someone caught hold of his arm and began to pull him back into the noisy crowd in the middle of the room.

  ‘I don’t go to the park on a Sunday any more. I work on a Sunday,’ Trixie called after him.

  He didn’t even turn; he merely waved a hand in the air and she wasn’t even sure if he’d heard what she’d said.

  Trixie had been looking forward to seeing Andrew again so much that she felt very disheartened and let down as they left the restaurant. It should be Andrew, not Jake, walking her home, she thought disconsolately and then felt cross with herself for thinking that when Jake had gone to so much trouble to make sure she could go to the party.

  Chapter Thirty

  The first thing Sylvia wanted to know when Trixie went to work on the Sunday was how she had enjoyed the party and although Trixie told her that it had been good fun she knew in her heart that it had been a terrible disappointment.

  To have been so near to Andrew, to see have seen him laughing and talking with all his close friends while she and Jake had been left almost isolated, left her feeling desolate and unloved.

  She wasn’t sure what Jake had felt but she had been very conscious that he hadn’t gone out of his way to push into the crowd that was surrounding Andrew. Even when the two of them did eventually talk to each other there had been no real spark between them.

  Jake seemed to be able to accept that Andrew had grown away from him and found new friends, but then it was different for him. They’d merely been school friends; she was in love with Andrew and she had thought he had deep feelings for her, but now she wasn’t so sure.

  Meeting up wasn’t going to be easy now that she worked all day on a Saturday and Sunday. She could hardly expect Jake and Ella to look after Cilla in the evening as well as all day. There was no point in suggesting to Andrew that they went to the pictures one night in the week instead of on a Saturday night because she worked until eight o’clock every evening from Monday to Friday.


  It was now so near to Christmas that by the look of things Andrew was going to be caught up in celebrations with his friends and family and have no time at all for her.

  She’d had so many dreams for the new year but now 1927 looked as though it might turn out to be no better than any other year had been. She still hadn’t found a room that she could afford and life at Virgil Street was getting worse by the day.

  She’d resigned herself to not seeing Andrew till after Christmas so she was surprised when she bumped into him in Scotland Road one evening when she was on her way to her cleaning job in Cazneau Street.

  He seemed taken aback when she told him that she couldn’t stop to talk because she was on her way to work.

  ‘Where is it? What time do you finish? I could come and meet you afterwards,’ he suggested. ‘I haven’t seen anything of you except very briefly at my party since I got back.’

  ‘I finish at eight. I work at the chiropodist’s in Cazneau Street.’

  ‘I’ll be waiting for you,’ he called after her.

  All the time she polished and cleaned she kept thinking about Andrew, she was so elated that he still wanted to go on seeing her. Even so, she was almost afraid to believe that he would be there waiting for her when she finished work.

  ‘At last,’ he exclaimed, giving her a peck on the cheek and ignoring Cilla. ‘Come on, let’s go for a drink and I’ll tell you all about what’s been happening and you can tell me about your job?’ he told her, putting his arm around her and hugging her close.

  ‘That will be lovely, Andrew, but it will have to be a milk bar because Cilla is too young to go into a pub.’

  ‘Let’s take her home first, then.’

  ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I can’t leave her there on her own.’

  ‘Why not? Won’t your father be there, or that woman who lives with him? Can’t they keep an eye on her for an hour or two?’

  ‘It’s not safe to leave Cilla with them because—’

  ‘Then in that case if we can’t go for a drink I’ll walk you home and see you some other time,’ he said abruptly, cutting short her explanation.

  Hurt and disappointed she still insisted on explaining what had happened to turn Daisy even more against Cilla.

  ‘That’s why I’m working every evening as well as at weekends. I’m trying to save up enough money to be able to rent a room and move out. Daisy is evil, and I’m scared she’ll do us some real harm if she gets the chance. I really am frightened, Andrew.’

  ‘Then perhaps you should leave there before she does,’ he advised. He took out his cigarette case and selected one. ‘Perhaps it’s time you moved in with me?’ he suggested, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

  Trixie stared at him, her eyes shining with love and relief. ‘Oh that would be wonderful, Andrew,’ she gasped. ‘Do you really mean it? It would be perfect. When . . . when can we arrange it?’

  ‘Soon.’ He shrugged. ‘I’ll have to make some plans and arrange things first,’ he told her.

  ‘It can’t be soon enough,’ she told him fervently.

  ‘I understand, sweetheart, but don’t worry. We’ll fix up something early in the New Year.’

  ‘Oh that would be fantastic!’ Stopping, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, all her fears about how much he cared for her gone.

  He pulled her into his arms, nuzzling her neck and then kissing her passionately. ‘You’ve no idea how much I want this, how much I want to make you mine completely and have you all to myself,’ he whispered hotly. ‘Look, I must go now,’ he murmured. He turned on his heel and walked off in the other direction before she had the chance to ask him anything else; even when he was hoping they could be married.

  Trixie found every minute of waiting was sheer hell. She was on edge, tense and suspicious of everything Daisy said or did. Knowing that she couldn’t leave Cilla alone with Daisy, not even for a few minutes, was so worrying that in the end she could stand the strain no longer. She decided one afternoon to leave early for work and to see if she could meet Andrew as he left the bank to find out what plans he was making for them.

  She left Cilla looking at a book while she went into the bedroom to get ready. Within minutes she could hear Cilla screaming and Daisy’s raised voice. As she hurried back into the living room she was in time to grab Daisy’s upraised arm as she was about to lash out at Cilla who was crouched on the floor at the side of the table, cowering as Daisy stood over her, threatening her with a rolling pin.

  ‘What on earth do you think you are doing?’ Trixie gasped as she wrenched the rolling pin from Daisy’s hand. ‘If you’d hit her with that you could have killed her.’

  ‘Like she killed my Jimmy,’ Daisy retaliated. ‘And she’s a thief. I found her in my bedroom looking in the cupboard; if I hadn’t gone in at that moment then she’d have stolen something.’

  ‘No, she wouldn’t; she was looking for Jimmy,’ Trixie said wearily. ‘She still doesn’t understand why he isn’t here and that was his favourite place to hide when they used to play hide and seek.’

  ‘He’s not here because she killed him; that’s why he isn’t here,’ Daisy retorted. ‘Bloody little murderer, she ought to be locked up. She should be somewhere where there’re bars on the windows and locks on all the doors so that she can’t get out,’ she added vindictively.

  Trixie pulled the trembling child to her feet, trying to ignore the puddle on the floor, and hugged her close. ‘It’s all right,’ she murmured gently. ‘Come on, let’s get you some dry clothes and find your coat; we’ll go for a walk.’

  ‘She’s peed herself, has she?’ Daisy said contemptuously. ‘Dirty little madam!’

  ‘Yes, she has,’ Trixie agreed calmly. ‘It shows the harm you can do by shouting at her.’

  Ignoring Daisy who’d followed them into the bedroom she began to remove Cilla’s wet dress and knickers and began rummaging in the chest of drawers for some clean dry clothes.

  ‘You won’t find any there,’ Daisy said triumphantly, ‘you haven’t done any washing this week, have you?’

  Trixie didn’t bother to answer; instead, she fished out the bag with the dirty washing in it from underneath their bed and began sorting through to find something for Cilla to wear.

  ‘You’re as dirty a bitch as she is. I can see where she gets it from now,’ Daisy sneered as Trixie shook out a crumpled dress and then tried to smooth out the creases before putting it on Cilla. ‘Don’t bother washing it, just shake it and wear it again,’ she taunted.

  When Trixie didn’t answer and Daisy realised that she wasn’t going to rise to her taunts she turned on her heel and went out of the room, banging the door behind her.

  Once more feeling dry and comfortable, Cilla reached up and pulled Trixie’s face down to her level and gave her a big slobbery kiss. Then she tried to help by pushing the bag of dirty clothes back underneath the bed, but Trixie stopped her.

  ‘We’ll take that with us when we go out,’ she told Cilla. As she spoke she began emptying the few other bits and pieces of clothing that were in the rickety chest of drawers, as well as the two new dresses she’d bought at Christmas, into the same bag. Then she helped Cilla to put on her outdoor things, took her hand, picked up the bag, and left without a word to Daisy.

  Cilla didn’t even ask where they were going but trotted along obediently at Trixie’s side, occasionally grabbing hold of her coat to steady herself, or when they crossed the road.

  Trixie didn’t want to embarrass Andrew by waiting right outside the bank for him so she stood on the corner of Scotland Road and Collingwood Street and hoped that she wouldn’t miss him as he left for home.

  She was so engrossed in watching for him that she didn’t see Jake approaching from the opposite direction and was quite startled when he touched her on the shoulder.

  ‘Oh Jake! You nearly made me jump out of my skin! I wasn’t expecting to bump into you.’

  ‘I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me,’ he stated, giv
ing her a lopsided grin.

  ‘No, I’m hoping to catch Andrew when he leaves the bank. He’s said I can move in with him and I wanted to know if I could do so right away. It’s sheer hell with Daisy. She’s on the rampage again over Jimmy dying and today I caught her about to wallop Cilla with a rolling pin.’

  Jake frowned. ‘That’s terrible!’ He reached out and stroked Cilla’s face. ‘You all right now, luv? What about you and me going and buying some sweeties in a minute? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’

  Cilla let go of her hold on Trixie’s coat and stretched out her hand to take Jake’s.

  ‘You’re not really thinking of moving in with Andrew, are you?’ he asked worriedly. ‘I’m surprised you are even contemplating it. People will talk; if you’re living in sin you’ll get yourself a bad name.’

  ‘Jake!’ Trixie gave him a furious look. ‘Moving in right away won’t matter because we’re planning to get married quite soon,’ Trixie said confidently.

  Jake raised his eyebrows questioningly. ‘So when were you going to tell me?’

  ‘I was waiting to hear what arrangements Andrew has made first,’ she said evasively.

  ‘Well, make sure you know what you’re doing; remember you can’t always believe everything Andrew says.’

  ‘Now you know, aren’t you going to congratulate me and wish us well?’

  Jake didn’t answer; instead he turned his attention to Cilla who was still holding his hand and hopping from one foot to the other impatiently.

  ‘Shall I take Cilla on home with me and then you can come and pick her up when you’ve spoken to Andrew? It might be easier to talk to him on your own.’

  ‘Thank you, Jake, that really would be a great help but I have to be at work by six o’clock and I won’t have time to come round to your place and get to Cazneau Street by then and I mustn’t be late.’

  ‘Then I’ll take her home with me and you can pick her up later when you finish work.’

  ‘Would you! Thanks, Jake. What would I do without you?’ she added with a grateful smile.