What is Love?

by Saks, Tessa

  She had no idea what to expect. A tall, tattooed man, with dark hair pulled tight into a ponytail and a thick handlebar moustache, approached and said, “Hey, Sammy girl.” He reached over and gave her a strong hug, crushing her against his hard chest. His arms were massive and thick, wallpapered in tattoo designs all the way to his wrists. They sat at a table, facing each other, hands on the table as instructed.

  “So Sammy doll, what brings you here? Miss me?” He reached down and placed his hand on her thigh. Ellen blushed and wanted to slap his hand away, as it seemed to burn into her skin, but kept her hands on the table, and stared at the tattoos across his knuckles.

  One of the guards came over. “No more contact or you’re out.”

  Bob rolled eyes, and glared at the guard as he walked away. “Prick.”

  “How are you, Bob?” Ellen asked, unsure how to start.

  “No, how the hell are you, my sexy girl?” Bob smiled at her as if he was getting ready for dessert, a decadent, forbidden dessert.

  Ellen cringed and dove into her rehearsed line, ignoring his brashness. “I would be much better if you hadn’t arranged a … remedy that will destroy my future marriage.”

  Bob looked confused for several moments, trying to read an answer on her face. Ellen held fast under his scrutiny. “You know exactly what I mean, Bob. I spoke to Mother …”

  Bob sat back, pulling on the edge of his fat moustache until his eyes narrowed and his smile faded. “What’s it to you? That’s my business.”

  “No, that’s my business. Did Mother tell you what I told her, what has to happen?”

  “Your momma’s a mess … I never listen to nothing she says.”

  “Well, I’m not a mess, and I am here to tell you that whatever plan you made for a job, cannot happen because I will never see a penny from the man.”

  “Bullshit. That’s a crock of shit. You should thank me.” His voice sounded coarse and angry, almost raw.

  “No, Bob, I can’t. You see, if your job works out, I will be out all that money, which means no money for Mother or Benny or you. See? Nothing.”

  “Too late.” He leaned forward and touched her cheek. “God, you’re so fuck’n pretty. Sure you didn’t miss me? It’s been a while since … ”

  Creep. Ellen shuddered in disgust. “You don’t understand … his wife knows everything.”

  “You skanky little bitch, you fuck’n told her?” he hollered.

  “No, I didn’t tell anyone, she …” Ellen’s hands quivered as she stumbled to remember her excuses. “She figured it out herself. They sent her to a lab for blood work. It’s over. Your man better flee before they figure it out.”

  “Son of a bitch!” he yelled, and kicked a chair away in frustration. “Fuck!” The guard gave him a cautionary signal, his hand resting on his gun.

  Her heart beat wildly as she spoke in a low voice. “And the worst part is she had a new will drawn up that cuts the husband out completely. You see, they think it’s him, that he’s the one doing it and the law says that if you try to … well, finish your partner, you get nothing in a divorce. Zero. And if she dies, all the money goes to charity. It’s rather severe, but that’s just the way it is.”

  “Fuck’n hell.”

  “Either way, I get nothing. He might even end up in jail. A big fat waste of two years.”

  “Bloody fuck’n bullshit.” Bob slammed his fist against the table several times, albeit quietly. “What about you?”

  “Me? Oh, I got some money out of it, not a lot, but something. I’ll try again with someone else, someone richer this time.” Ellen smacked his arm with nervous humor, like slapping solid granite. “You know me, men are never a problem to catch.”

  “I’ll say. Damn.” He shook his head in frustration. “The plan … it was kickass perfect.”

  Ellen nodded. “Yes, it was. You are very clever.” She forced a flattering and coy smile across her face. “Much too clever to be in here. I gave Mother some money to give to you. Now we can forget this whole thing and put it to rest for good, call it even.”

  “Yah, sure.” His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something …”

  “Just don’t involve me anymore, this one cost me a bundle. Okay?” Ellen smiled at him. “One question, did Rory help in this? Do I need to worry about Rory?”

  Bob let out a hearty laugh. “That pansy-ass lover boy? No. He couldn’t hurt nobody. You must be fuck’n kidding me—Rory!”

  Ellen reached into her pocket and the guard shot her a look. She smiled at the guard and raised her hands in innocence.

  “You can’t do that, you damn fool,” Bob said, his voice sounded angry again, or perhaps it’s how he always sounded.

  “But I have some money for you.” She was about to reach into her pocket again but he grabbed her hand and pulled it down under the table.

  “You trying to get me into more shit?” He gave her a hard stare as he squeezed her wrist so hard, her fingers went numb.

  “No. I only thought it would help.”

  “You’re as fuck’n dumb as your momma.” He let go of her wrist. “God help us. You can’t hand anything to me in here, stupid. We get strip searched after we see anyone and they take whatever shit they find on us and toss it.”

  “Sorry, I just wanted to help.”

  “Has to be a money order, given to the clerk, then they put it in my account here.” His face softened and he looked at her for a long moment. “That’s real good of you.”

  The bell sounded. Ellen stood, eager to get away from him. “Take care of yourself.”

  Bob stood and smiled a wicked smile. “I take care of me, don’t you worry. These ass wipes are afraid of me. I fuck’n own this place.”

  “That’s good to hear. I’ll tell Mother.”

  “Do I get my final goodbye body contact now?” Before she could answer, he reached out and gave her a hug, pressing his body, grinding almost, against hers. His arms locked around her, engulfing her and his heartbeat thumped against her head for several long seconds that seemed eternal. He smelled surprisingly clean, like fresh laundry. When he finally released her, he punched her lightly in the shoulder, a sort of affectionate but manly gesture.

  As she walked away, Ellen turned and waved, but he kept walking, the heavy metal door locking behind him, entrapping him for five more years. Ellen put her hand in her pocket and touched the money she got from pawning some of the jewelry from the velvet bag she had found among Samantha’s things. This would tide Bob and the crazy mother over for a while, but she would have to wire or send it somehow, anything to avoid another visit.

  Ellen flinched as she imagined the horror of living with a perverted stepdad like Bob. She tried to imagine how dreadful it must have been for Samantha, so pretty, and all these lecherous, drunken and drugged-up men, together in a crowded small trailer with no one to save her, no one to shield her from the ugliness and selfishness of others.

  She was grateful her mother never remarried or attached herself to any strange men. As she rode the bus home, she thought about all the things she was grateful for, all the good things in her life and all the things she wanted to change. The two-hour bus ride gave her lots of time to come up with a very long list.

  ***

  When Ellen returned home from visiting Bob, a message was waiting on the table.

  Brianna called. Said call her. Good news and bad news.

  Ellen dialed the number on the sheet and waited while Beth called Brianna to the phone.

  “Hey Sam,” Brianna said, her voice animated. “You’re never going to believe what the sample showed—”

  “Let me guess, poison?”

  “Yeah, it’s arsenic!”

  “Oh no, it actually happened.”

  “Just small amounts, but regular enough that no one would ever notice, except for how consistent they are.”

  “But arsenic?” Ellen said, unable to comprehend how something that lethal could go unnoticed. “Would
n’t that kill you fast? Why is she still—?”

  “I was told it can be given very slowly, so it’s not obvious to any doctor. She was slowly slipping toward death. Once she reached a coma, there would be certain death.” Brianna sighed into the phone. “She’s pretty close now, dangerously close, judging by her hair loss, skin sores and her incoherent speech.”

  “I can’t believe this. We have to tell them, they have to stop it.”

  “No, we can’t say anything. I spoke to Leo Maxfield and he said not to raise any suspicions—they might try to cover up or destroy evidence.”

  “But we have to stop them, they’ll kill her.” Ellen couldn’t believe this was real.

  “First, we must get her out of there. I think she is planning a suicide soon.”

  “What did Leo say?”

  “He got on it right away and had the files rushed to his office already. He’s going to arrange for her to see another doctor, hopefully tomorrow or the next day. One of us should stay with her and watch what they give her, just in case. They might be putting it in her food or her IV bag, maybe even her pills. She has so much poison in her, any more might finish her.”

  “I’ll go. I’ll also make certain she doesn’t try to hurt herself.” Ellen said. “I would sure hate to find out Jonathan had his lawyer’s block our request, making it impossible to get her out. I wish we could get her out of there tonight.”

  “How? It’s locked up.”

  “No idea, just a thought.”

  “Make sure you give Mother some garlic cloves or garlic extract. It will help flush out some of the arsenic. Beth is a medic and trained naturopath. She can help her to get better when she’s out.”

  “I hope it’s soon enough.”

  Ellen hung up and knew who to call for help.

  ***

  Ellen and Rory arrived at the hospital with a large bouquet of flowers, the largest bouquet they could find. Sam was lying in bed, asleep, when they walked in together. Ellen set the bouquet on the desk and sat in a chair next to the bed. Rory gently touched Sam’s shoulder, shaking her lightly until she awoke.

  “Rory …” she whispered, in a fragile voice.

  “Hey beautiful, I brought a friend and some flowers.”

  Sam didn’t respond. Her face looked pale and chalky and with more small sores on her cheeks and forehead. Rory held her hand. “We have a plan, a very good plan, and we will take care of everything. We need you to drink this.”

  Sam shook her head and covered her face with her hand.

  “Sam, I’m not asking, I’m telling you, this is important.”

  Sam opened her eyes and looked at Rory. “Leave me alone …”

  “No, Sam, I can’t do that. I need you and I need you well. You have been poisoned and this will start helping. It’s garlic and charcoal to help get the arsenic out of your body.”

  Sam’s face grimaced. “Arsenic? That’s rat poison.” She tried to sit. “Those friggin losers are giving me rat poison?”

  “You were right all along. Ellen here even went to see Bob, told him the gig was up.”

  Sam looked at Ellen. “I bet that was fun.”

  Ellen smiled. “Yes, he’s quite … amusing.”

  Sam shook her head, a disbelieving side-to-side motion. “I can’t believe it. I knew it.”

  “Do you still want to lie here and die,” Rory asked, reaching for her hand. “Or do you want to fight back, show them?”

  Sam lay in silence for several moments, as if weighing her options. “Those … scum bags actually thought they could kill me—me!” Her feeble voice held more energy than before, but was still barely more than a whisper. “Unbelievable. I’m pissed is what I am … I just wish I had the energy to show it.”

  “We have a plan to get you out of here, but first you need to drink this …”

  Rory laid out the plan and Sam sipped the grey liquid, making faces the entire time. Ellen sat patiently as Rory convinced Sam to go along with their plan. After ten minutes, they agreed to try. Rory went to get a wheelchair and Ellen got Sam cleaned up.

  “Why are you doing this?” Sam finally asked.

  “Because I don’t want you to die.”

  “Are you afraid if I do, then we won’t switch back, is that it? I’m not afraid to die—”

  “Quite the contrary, I need you to switch.”

  “That’s a bunch of bull.”

  “Here we are,” Rory arrived with the wheelchair. He pulled the IV out of her arm and lifted Sam out of bed, then asked her to stand for a moment. “Can you walk at all?”

  Sam struggled to move her feet as she leaned against Rory for support.

  Ellen came over to the other side and supported Sam as she slid her feet along. “That’s great. Keep going.”

  “Uggg,” Sam cried out in pain. “This is impossible.”

  “Samantha Miller, I’ve never seen you quit at anything before. You always have to beat everyone in everything. The first to the top, no matter how tired you are, and the last to quit.”

  “Rory, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not a spring chicken anymore.” Sam panted, as they propped her up against the wall. “I am tired. This won’t work. It’s a stupid plan, anyway.”

  Rory put his arms around Sam and held her. “I wish I could give you some of my strength. I wish I could help you, but I can’t. You have to do this, Sam. You have to. I need you.” He released her from his grip and carefully set her into a chair.

  “Oh my God,” Sam cried out, clutching her stomach. “That charcoal crap I drank.” She leaned forward and Rory quickly grabbed a garbage can, just as Sam leaned over and vomited.

  When she finished heaving, she sat upright, her lips coated with black, giving her a ghoulish look. Ellen went to find a wet cloth from the washroom. Rory took the bucket away as Ellen leaned over and gently wiped her face and lips. “Want some water?”

  Ellen handed Sam a water bottle. Sam took a sip and rinsed her mouth, ready to spit. She leaned against the armrest and tried to stand on her own, using her good arm as the arm in the cast was still unsupportive. Ellen came to her side and together they walked toward the sink. Sam leaned over and spit as Ellen held her.

  “Well done,” Rory said when he emerged from the washroom. “Already standing.”

  “Not for long,” Sam said and collapsed against him. He helped her back to her chair.

  Ellen spent a few more minutes getting Sam ready and going over the details of the plan.

  “Have you two geniuses thought about what will happen if I get out? How pissed off Johnny will be?”

  “He’ll be happy you’re alive,” Ellen said.

  “Don’t be so sure,” Sam said. “I think he’d be happiest of all if I croaked.”

  Ellen shook her head. “That doesn’t say much for me and my taste in men, now does it?”

  Sam looked away. “He did love you, once … I’m sure of it. And I also thought he was great.” Sam turned to Ellen. “Johnny’s really going to be pissed at you, might never forgive you. You okay with that?”

  “Don’t the nurses check on you?” Ellen asked, looking up at the wall clock.

  “They’re supposed to, every twenty minutes. But Dallas is on right now and they talked all day about whether J.R. will discover Sue-Ellen hired the private eye. Believe me, they’ll be a while.”

  They loaded Sam into the wheelchair and put together the items they needed. Finally one of the nurses arrived to see Mrs. Horvath sitting in a black sweater and pants and wearing a black hat.

  “Mrs. Horvath. Just where do you think you’re going?”

  “My younger sister died,” Sam said, trying to sound serious. “I am so upset. I need to go down to the chapel and say my prayers. I just can’t believe she’s gone, so young … and all those little children … It breaks my …” Mrs. Horvath appeared overtaken with tears, heaving in sobs.

  The nurse had tears as well. “I’m so sorry. Yes, of course. I can’t take you now, I have rounds to finish, but—�
��

  “We can take her. We want to leave these flowers in the chapel so … Mrs. Horvath can come, pay her respects and pray every day.”

  “Oh yes,” the nurse said. “The pass code is one-five-six-two.”

  “Thank you, you don’t know what this means to me.” Sam’s heart-wrenching act was priceless. She had obviously perfected it over the years.

  “Here, the IV has to go with her …” The nurse went over to the IV and wheeled it over, then reinserted it into her hand. “There … now you must be back before nine o’clock lockdown.”

  They agreed and wheeled away, toward the elevator. When the elevator arrived, they punched in the code and the doors opened. As they rode down the elevator, Rory rested his hand on Sam’s shoulder.

  Sam dabbed her eyes in mock sadness, playing along for the cameras.

  Once out of the elevator, they passed another nursing station filled with the sounds of Dallas. The huge bouquet of flowers rested on Sam’s lap.

  “Sorry to hear the sad news,” the nurse behind the desk said as she buzzed the door open.

  “Yes, so tragic … so young … and …” The waterworks came on again and Mrs. Horvath let out heartwrenching wails. The nurse grabbed a tissue and wiped the corners of her eyes.

  As they entered the small chapel, Sam started to giggle. “Oh my God,” she said, as Ellen shut the door behind them. “I thought for sure I was gonna lose it and burst into laughter.”

  “You were amazing,” Ellen said as she took the hat off of Sam. “Like a true actress.”

  “Yeah, so long as those tears aren’t used against you,” Rory added as he removed the IV. Sam grinned at him, sharing in his private joke.

  Ellen began removing her clothes and handed them to Rory. He helped Sam out of her clothes and within a few minutes, Ellen was wearing the black sweater and pants, with her long hair tucked neatly under the hat. She opened the hanky, covering her hands, and held it up to block her face.