[Measure of Devotion 03.0] Measure of Peace

by Caethes Faron

  “Well, you’re at least going to try.”

  Kale finally met Jason’s eyes. “You might as well eat with your father. I’m not going to be the best company. I’m going to be taking you away, so you should spend this time with him.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. We’ll have plenty of time together.”

  Jason was hesitant to leave him in such a state, but he doubted there was anything he could do at the moment. They both needed to eat, and Jason thought the time with his father may actually be productive. Jason tugged on the pull cord by the bed, and a few minutes later a slave girl he didn’t recognize came to the door.

  “Have some dinner brought up for Kale, and let my father know I’d like to dine with him if he’s feeling up to it, please.”

  “Yes, sir.” The slave left as quietly and quickly as she’d come.

  With nothing else to do, Jason reclaimed his spot next to Kale and held his hand. Silence could be just as comforting as words. Jason mentally prepared for the coming day, running over the many possibilities of how it could unfold. He’d have to ask John where they could buy some fuel. It wasn’t possible to make it all the way to their destination on what they had. Jason’s most important role would be as a support to Kale. Jason had no idea how he must feeling; there was nothing in his experience to compare it to.

  A gentle knock on the door preceded it opening to reveal a different slave carrying a covered tray.

  “You can place it on the desk.”

  “Dinner is served downstairs as well, sir.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be along in a moment.” Once the door softly clicked closed behind the slave, Jason squeezed Kale’s hand. “Eat. I’ll be back as soon as I’m finished, and we can go to bed.” Jason leaned in and softly kissed Kale’s lips, not terribly surprised when he received no response. “Try to eat something.”

  “I will. Please make my apologies to your father.”

  “No need, he’s the one who suggested it. I’ll see you soon.”

  In the dining room, a cream of broccoli soup was served right after Jason took his seat.

  “How is Kale doing?” Robert asked between spoonfuls.

  “I think he’ll be fine. It’s a bit of a shock, but I think he appreciates knowing—having something to go off of. We’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning. I don’t know when we’ll be back. I’m hoping it will be a quick trip.” Jason thought he saw a tinge of sadness in his father’s eyes at the mention of leaving.

  “Where are you off to?”

  “Shalae County, around Rushing.”

  “That’s quite a drive. Even if everything goes well, you should get a room for the night before heading back. Do you think you’ll bring his family with you?”

  “That’s the hope, although if I’m honest, I have to admit I don’t think it’s likely, at least not in the next two days.”

  “You can’t let him know that. Let him hope for the best while you prepare for the worst.”

  “Thank you, Father.”

  “I’m not the heartless tyrant you seem to think I am.”

  “That’s what Kale says.”

  Robert chortled. “Is that right?”

  “He’s tiresomely practical. He has a talent for explaining things to me that I think he takes too much pleasure in.”

  “He does seem to be pretty calm and collected. That’s good. You’re exactly the opposite.”

  Jason stamped down his initial instinct to let his father’s words sting. “He’s a good match for me.”

  “You know, that’s why I bought him for you. I suppose he was just a little better of a match for you than I’d intended. I certainly never envisioned this happening.”

  The rest of dinner proceeded with comfortable conversation. By the time dessert came around, Jason was anxious to get back to Kale. He barely tasted the peach cobbler. Once he had devoured the last of the buttery crumbs, he wiped his mouth and then set his napkin on the table while he pushed his chair back. “Thank you for dinner, Father. I probably won’t see you before we leave tomorrow.”

  “Have a safe journey. And call to let me know how’s it going and when to expect you back.”

  “I will, Father.”

  “Give Kale my regards, and let him know I hope he finds them.”

  “Thank you.” Jason held his father’s eyes for a moment, noticing the winkles around them and the gray that dusted the hair framing his face.

  Upstairs, no light peeked beneath his bedroom door. Jason’s heart sank. He had really wanted Kale to still be awake. It was early for him to be in bed, but it was probably for the best. Jason quickly undressed and crawled in beside Kale. He reached out to cuddle, only to be shocked when Kale shrugged him off.

  An awkward silence hung in the air as Jason contemplated what to do. He wasn’t sure letting Kale brood was a good idea, but he didn’t want to push the issue. He could go a night without cuddling.

  “I just can’t tonight. I’m sorry.” Kale’s pained voice breached the silence.

  Jason wondered if Kale meant cuddling or sex. Neither answer would make Jason feel better, so he didn’t ask. Respecting Kale’s wishes, he settled on his back with one arm across his stomach and the other across his eyes. In a few minutes, Jason heard Kale’s breathing fall into the familiar pattern of sleep. Every muscle in his body was tuned to the man lying next to him. He wanted to curl around him, comfort him in sleep, stave off the nightmares. But he didn’t. He wanted Kale to know he was loved, and right now the best way to do that was to hold back. Experience had taught him that loving someone meant doing what that person needed to feel loved, not indulging his own desires. He lay rigid, muscles tense against the urge to reach out.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Finally, they were out on the open road. Clear blue skies meant the top was down, and Kale relished the breeze on his skin. They had eaten breakfast before they left and had purchased fuel at a local farming supply store, so there was nothing but hours of driving ahead of them. The next stop would be in Rushing, where Kale would finally get the answers he sought.

  Kale rested his hand on the seat between him and Jason. Things had been awkward between them all morning. It probably would have been better if Kale had just let Jason cuddle him last night. His self-loathing hadn’t permitted him to accept the comfort even though he logically knew it would help. Quiet drives were usually pleasant, but this was the silence of two people who didn’t know what to say to each other. Even the rumble of the air as the car sliced through it couldn’t drown out the silence. Kale tapped his fingers on the seat. What started out as a steady rhythm turned into frantic shaking. Instead of being an outlet for his anxieties, it keyed him up even more.

  A tight, warm weight restrained his hand. Kale glanced down to see Jason’s alabaster hand holding his. Jason gave a firm squeeze and then intertwined his fingers with Kale’s, stalling any hope of further tapping. Jason smiled. Kale returned it. The touch—the connection—was welcome. Kale regretted not letting Jason hold him last night. Sometimes, it just felt good to brood, to retreat into himself. This was unfamiliar territory for both of them. The fact that they were both trying had to be enough. They’d work things out when all this was settled.

  After a few minutes, Jason reached into the back seat and retrieved a book from his bag. “I thought I could read aloud, help pass the time.”

  “It depends. What book did you bring?”

  “The Grisly Tale of Hunter Humphreys. We never finished it.”

  “That sounds good.” As Jason read, Kale thought of Naiara and the nice little life they had carved for themselves there. Since arriving at the ranch, he’d almost forgotten that he and Jason had a whole life together back home. The last few days seemed so separate from it.

  Once Jason finished that book, he pulled out another. “I borrowed this from my father’s library. I don’t think he’ll mind.” It was a nice mystery with the kind of plot that was easy to follow without much thought.

&nbs
p; While the hours had seemed to drag by as they were driving, once Kale came into Rushing, it felt like the time had flown. Kale parked in front of the first place he found that served food. Approaching the Monroes on an empty stomach would be a mistake. He and Jason ate quickly, and Kale finished off his meal with a shot of whiskey to calm his nerves.

  Jason asked the bartender for directions to the address Martin had given them, and then they were back in the car. “Go down this road about a kilometer and then turn right on Maple. Follow it for six kilometers, and there’ll be a left turn onto Grove and then a quick right onto Monroe. Jedediah lives in the smaller of the two houses.”

  Kale nodded and started the car. This was it. Ten minutes later, they were parked again and staring at a two-story white house that was nicer than the place Monroe had left in Malar. Kale straightened his clothes, twisting his shirt cuffs into place and tightening his tie. He had almost insisted on his regular, more comfortable dress for the long drive, but Jason had been right to suggest the nice clothing. It gave Kale a confidence that he wasn’t entirely sure was warranted.

  Knocking on the door, Kale wished they had called first, but it would’ve been more difficult to get Monroe to give him the information he needed over the phone, and they might not even have one. However, the phone had the benefit of avoiding a face-to-face confrontation. With it being around lunchtime, there was a good chance Monroe would be home.

  Jason introduced them to the unfamiliar butler as Mr. Wadsworth and associate, and they were led into the parlor to wait. There was no mistaking Mr. Monroe when he entered. Time had softened the sharp angles of his face. Gray hairs had turned white, and light brown had turned gray. The long nose and bushy eyebrows were just as off-putting as they had been to Kale as a boy. The cold blue eyes and mouth that habitually twisted into a sneer soured Kale’s stomach. Salty acid crept up Kale’s throat. His heart raced, urging him to run or fight, to do anything other than stand where he was.

  In an instant, he was no longer in a parlor in Shalae County. He was outside a slave hut, trying to catch a garter snake with his brother while his mother yelled at them to let it be. Then he was being pulled to a wagon, having just been sold, his brother clinging to his legs as Kale tried to stay strong. Thomas made leaving so difficult. Mama had stood back, crying silent tears. She hadn’t wanted to make it any harder on Kale than it already was. She’d already said her goodbyes. Thomas was too young to notice or care. It took a lash of the whip for him to finally release Kale. Riding in the back of that wagon, Kale had closed his heart. He couldn’t afford to feel when there was only pain. He couldn’t let the pain and fear of the unknown interfere with his ability to do his work and survive. That had been the last lesson his mother had taught him.

  Kale didn’t know how long he was submerged in the memory. Jason must have noticed because he strode forward to shake Mr. Monroe’s hand. The slight breeze of his movement felt cool on Kale’s skin, and he realized it was because a film of sweat covered him. Jason’s voice as he introduced himself grounded Kale, and he was able to speak.

  “We’re interested in some slaves you owned…” Kale’s voice trailed off. He didn’t know what to call the man in front of him. The only address he had used for him was master, and that was certainly out of the question. Affording him even the respect of mister disgusted Kale.

  Jason picked up the conversation while Kale was still trying to figure it out. “I owned a slave who was related to them, and I liked his look and features, so I was wanting to get another of the same. Since the slave was bred at your estate, I hope to find the slave’s mother or brother.” Hearing Jason talk about his family like they were livestock made Kale’s insides churn, and he was grateful Jason was the one doing the talking. Kale didn’t have the stomach for it. “The mother’s name is Adele, and the boy’s is Thomas.”

  Kale caught the precise moment that the names registered in Monroe’s head. His eyes flashed to Kale. “You. You’re the slave.” A weight dragged Kale’s head down, but he struggled against it. Never again would he lower himself before this man. Kale’s skin prickled under Monroe’s glare. He felt like a slave again, scrutinized purely for his market value.

  “You must be mistaken.” Jason’s attempt was futile. Monroe’s eyes pierced Kale’s. Kale steeled himself, staring back with as much venom as he could muster. The first fourteen years of his life had been spent as the property of this man, but Kale had never once stared into his blue eyes.

  “No, I’m not. You were my slave, weren’t you, boy?”

  Kale wasn’t about to lie. He couldn’t. “Yes, I was, Monroe.” Kale sneered, all hesitance gone. “I’m a free citizen of Naiara now.”

  Monroe’s face twisted in contempt. “There’s no way I’m helping an uppity slave with anything. You’d better get out of my house before I show you what happens to slave filth who act like they’re free.”

  The fear was irrational, but that didn’t make it any less real. Monroe didn’t have any power over him. In fact, Kale had more power than Monroe, since he was under the protection of the prime minister of Naiara.

  Off to the side, Kale saw heat rise in Jason’s face. This wasn’t the embarrassed blush Kale so often provoked in him. Jason was on the verge of exploding, which would do nothing for their cause. Kale had risen above, not only his previous station in life, but even above his old master. Nothing riled men like Monroe more than knowing he hadn’t been able to get a rise out of the person he terrorized. Kale had the upper hand. “I’m sorry for wasting your time then, Mr. Monroe. Thank you for visiting with us. Jason, it’s time for us to leave.” He sounded more high-class than he ever had in his life.

  Jason stood there, not willing to relinquish his anger. Kale walked to the door, trusting that Jason would follow. “I’ll have you know we’re two of the richest men in both Arine and Naiara.” Kale couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at his lips. Bless Jason. As if Monroe cared who they were. When he felt Jason’s presence behind him, he proceeded out the door without even a glance backward.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Who the fuck does that man think he is?” Jason had a mind to jump out of the car, moving or not, and go punch that disgusting man in the face. “Calling you filth. That’s rich. And speaking of rich, what gives a man who can’t even manage his own financial affairs the nerve to stand up to us? Must be pretty embarrassing having your former slave waltz in with more money than the gods.”

  “We don’t have quite that much, and it’s not mine. I just lucked into it.”

  “Lucked into it? You were the one who arranged the whole damn thing. You have more claim to the Arlington Steel empire than any man alive. I’m going to telephone Martin first thing, and we’re going to find out about every bit of debt that man has. We’re going to buy out all of his creditors, and then we’re going to call every loan he has due. No way does a man like that have his business in order. He’s going to show you what happens to a slave who acts like a free man? I’ll show him what happens when a piece of cheap trash insults his betters.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Jason saw Kale holding back a smile. “You think this is funny? We’ll see how funny it is when I buy the bank that holds his mortgage.”

  Kale burst out laughing. “Really? And what we would do with a bank? Use it as our own personal tool for revenge? Besides, his family’s probably owned that land for generations.”

  “Why not? Sounds good to me. His stupidity is likely hereditary. I bet they’ve had to mortgage their place just to pay the bills.” Jason crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat. He wanted to hit something, release his rage on an object, preferably Monroe’s funny looking head.

  “You really know how to cheer me up. Here I am laughing mere minutes after finding out I’ll probably never see my family again.”

  Jason unfolded his arms and reached for Kale’s hand. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being ridiculous, but he insulted you, Kale. You, the most amazing man I’ve ev
er met, and he dares to talk down to you? You’re a bigger man than I am.”

  “I’ve had more practice holding my temper. Truth is, I pity him. The man’s lost everything, living with his family, and here I am living a life that most free people can’t even dream of.”

  “You pity him?”

  “Yeah, don’t you? I loathe that man, but he’s not going to help me find my family, and if he still owned them, he wouldn’t have been able to resist telling me, so I really have no further use for him.” Kale shrugged. “I really had held out hope he hadn’t sold them. I knew it wasn’t likely. Mama and Thomas weren’t particularly useful to him personally. I know he’s horrible, but he wasn’t cruel, and I hoped—I needed—him to still own them.”

  That’s the best Kale could hope for, that his family was owned by someone who wasn’t cruel. Jason worried about the blow to their pride while Kale hoped his family hadn’t been sold to someone crueler than Monroe. And it wasn’t even probable that they’d been sold together. “We’ll find them, Kale. I swear.”

  “I know. I trust you.”

  “And after we do, can I please at least fantasize about destroying that little slug?”

  Kale laughed some more. “Yes. I’ll even get you some salt and show you how normal boys relieve their slug-destroying urges.”

  It was good to see Kale laughing. Jason wished it could last, but he knew it was just a momentary respite, a release of tension that prevented Kale from falling apart. “What do you want to do? We can stay in town or go back to the ranch.”

  “Let’s stay in town. It’s likely that anything we find will just lead us right back here. Unless you want to go back. I know you need to spend time with your father.”

  Kale’s tone was deceptively nonchalant to anyone who didn’t know him as well as Jason did. Kale was a master at bottling up his own needs, especially in favor of Jason’s. “There’s nowhere I need to be other than here. Rushing is big enough that they should have a decent hotel.”