In My Shoes

by Brenda Hampton

  I felt as if I had so many angels around me, and it wasn’t until I was willing to walk through that opened door, when good things started to happen.

  Making our way back from lunch, Ruth and I could see the receptionist from a distance, filing her long nails. Ruth wished me luck and we laughed.

  On the reception’s desk was what looked to be two dozen long-stem red roses. Ruth walked up to smell them.

  “Ah…these smell so good. Who are they for?” she asked.

  “They’re for her—the new girl.”

  “For me?” I asked, surprised.

  “Yes, for you,” she said, getting back to her nails. I sniffed the roses and pulled the card from the envelope.

  “You are one lucky woman,” Ruth said, leaving for her office. “Must be nice to have such a good man. Also, don’t forget to stop by my office so you can get information about returning to school.”

  I nodded, but I knew the flowers couldn’t be from a man because I didn’t have one. I quickly opened the card and it read: Hope you have a wonderful day at work. We’re all so proud of you. Love always, Your Instructors at JPC. I put the card back into the envelope and smiled. Since the receptionist was now on the phone, I used another phone in the lobby to call and thank them for being so supportive. I left a message because they were at lunch. As I walked back to the receptionist area, she told me I had a caller on hold. It was Jesse.

  “What’s up, dirty?” she said, chewing on some gum. “How’s work coming along?”

  “It’s cool. I just got back from lunch and my instructors sent me some roses.”

  “Aww, that’s so nice,” she said sarcastically. “Who was that old woman answering the phone? She couldn’t get it together, could she?”

  “Girl, that’s a whole other story in itself.” We laughed.

  “Well, I called to tell you my application was accepted. The lady said the townhouse would be available as soon as the deposit was paid. I asked her to give me until the end of the week and I’d come in to sign the lease.”

  I wanted to jump for joy. “Thanks, Jesse, I really appreciate it. Don’t know what I would do without you sometimes. I’ll call you when I get off work so we can go over the details.”

  For the rest of the day, the receptionist let me handle all calls and visitors. I felt like I had worked there for years. When Ruth came up and saw how well things flowed, she asked me if one week of training would be good enough. I told her I thought it would be, and she decided to send the woman back to the temp agency at the end of the week. I was glad; she was spending more time on her nails, than she was showing me the ropes.

  ***

  Everything was packed and ready to go. Rita and Clarence had come to town to visit, so the twins had gone back to Tennessee with them for the summer. That allowed me plenty of time to get things situated in my new place and I didn’t have to worry about finding a sitter while I went to Florissant Valley Community College in the evenings. Things were going perfectly for me and returning to school was the best decision I’d made. Surprisingly, I’d done extremely well and my Writing/English courses were my favorites. I was back to writing again, and whenever the teacher would have us write essays, I had no problem doing so. He could tell me to write a hundred page essay, and I’d have it finished within a day, maybe two. I had a new career, a new place and a new attitude. Most of all, I had a new phone number and didn’t have to worry about being bothered by no one from my past. I looked at my new beginning as a blessing and this was a moment in time when I realized that God would help me, as long as I was willing to also help myself.

  My new place had an echo. I had given almost everything away because I didn’t want to drag any of the old furniture into my new place. I had some money set aside for new furniture, but it wasn’t enough to furnish my place like I wanted to. With that in mind, it took more time to save money. I still had the whole summer before the twins came home and wanted everything to be perfect when they did.

  Like often, Jesse called to check on me. She complained about my life being boring, ever since I’d moved. I did occasionally go out with her and some of her friends, but the club scene just didn’t seem to excite me that much anymore. I had given my new number to a few young men here and there, had sex with a couple of them, but went on my way thereafter. Dwayne had left a scar on me; I didn’t believe I could ever trust another man for as long as I lived.

  I did, however, reflect on the men from my past. The only man who gave me some kind of satisfaction in the bedroom was Miles, but I hadn’t spoken to him in years. I lay in bed, thinking about how different sex was between us. Just for the hell of it, I beeped him that day, hoping that his number was the same, and left my number for him to call me back.

  Charlene and Dedra showed up within the hour to play spades with me, and during our card game, the phone rang. I had been cheating my butt off in the game, and since I didn’t want to get up to answer the phone, Charlene reached for it.

  “Yo,” she said, flipping through the cards in her hand. She paused. “Didn’t nobody beep you, who dis?”

  Her mouth widened and she whispered that it was Miles. My brows went up, I had no idea he would call me back. I reached for the phone, placing it on my ear with the biggest grin on my face.

  “Hello, Miles,” I said.

  “Who is this?”

  “Who does it sound like?”

  “Don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.”

  “It’s Brenda.”

  There was a pause, and then he replied. “Damn, baby, what’s up?” I could hear the excitement in his voice. “Where have you been? It’s been a long ass time.”

  “I know. I’m surprised your pager number is still the same.”

  “Yeah, I’ve had this number for a long time. I’m glad you called.”

  “I’m surprised to hear that, especially since we kind of ended things on a sour note.”

  “That was then, this is now. Now, I wouldn’t mind seeing you. Can you make it happen?”

  I wanted to see Miles, too, but I wasn’t sure about moving backwards. Still, I couldn’t deny that if there was ever any man that I met who could get it at the snap of his finger, it would be Miles. “See me for what?” I said, and then blushed.

  “Don’t start playing no games with me, woman. You know damn well why I’d want to see you. I still got a healthy sexual appetite and my dick ain’t been right since you left it. Why don’t you let me bring it home?”

  Charlene and Dedra were looking down my throat, taking in every word. They knew how I’d felt about Miles, and even though they’d never met him, I often talked about his skills.

  “Where are you?” was all I could say.

  “I’m at work, but I get off at ten o’clock tonight.”

  I looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little after 6:00 p.m. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you either. Call me when you get off and I’ll give you directions to my place.”

  “Do you live alone? If not, and if you still mess with that crazy-ass nigga, I need to bring my piece.”

  “Naw, I’m good. Just call me when you get off work.”

  Miles said that he would and hung up. Charlene and Dedra had dropped their cards on the table.

  “Well, I guess we may as well go home,” Dedra said. “It’s a wrap.”

  Charlene pursed her lips and spoke up. “Shiiit, not me. I’m staying right here. Brenda claimed Miles was working with twelve inches and I want to see this shit for myself.”

  I laughed. “What? Do you think he gon’ come through the door with his dick hanging out so you can see it?”

  “Nope, but let me hide in the closet or something. He won’t even know I’m in there.”

  I really wanted Dedra and Charlene to see just how much Miles was packing, but letting them watch us have sex was crazy. They continued to bug me about hiding in the closet and when I said no, they accused me of lying. I then made a $100 bet that his goods were not fake, and they agreed to pay me if I were co
rrect. After going back and forth about how I could prove my point, I couldn’t believe that I agreed to let them hide in the closet.

  “Just give me some popcorn and a strong soda,” Charlene said. “I will stay put.”

  “Oh, you gon’ need more than a strong soda. Just wait until you see it, and please, please don’t make any noises.”

  By nine o’clock, I was tipsy from drinking a few shots of Vodka and so was Dedra. Charlene had guzzled down two Heinekens and we were acting rather silly. Miles hadn’t called yet, but when he did, it was on. I changed into a black bell-sleeve short mini-dress, revealing my thick thighs. I’d lost several pounds by walking everyday at Flo Valley, but was still a bit thicker since the last time Miles had seen me. My hair was still long and my feathered look was back. Charlene and Dedra tossed out compliments, and when the doorbell rang, it was time to put up or shut up. I knew Miles would come through for me, and after we connected our pinky fingers for the bet, I rushed Charlene and Dedra into the closet. We all giggled and I placed my finger on my lips.

  “Shhh, y’all gotta be very quiet. Don’t say nothing, and if y’all do, he gon’ kill me.”

  They put their hands over their mouths, silencing the laughs. I swiped the sheen of sweat from my forehead, clearing my throat before opening the door.

  I was in a trance. Miles stepped in the foyer, looking down right workable with his security uniform on. He was so, so sexy and my eyes couldn’t help but drop to take a glance at the huge lump in his pants.

  He smiled, while looking into my glossy eyes. “You fucked up, ain’t you?” he asked.

  I flirted with my eyes—drinking alcohol always made me the aggressor. “A li’l bit,” I said, eyeballing his lips and biting down on mine. Miles blushed and eased his arm around my waist.

  “You look damn good, Bree. I can’t wait to taste you and I’m gon’ put in some overtime tonight.”

  Sounded like a plan to me, and wasting no time, I took Miles’ hand, leading him to my bedroom. I eased back on the bed, resting comfortably on my elbows. Miles stood directly in front of the bed, and as he started to remove his clothes, I turned my head to the right. The sliding closet door had a wide enough crack where I could see peeping eyes. I blinked away, and focused my attention back on Miles. My legs fell apart, and that sure as hell brightened his day. He dropped to his knees, and already knowing the routine, my legs poured over his shoulders. Miles got down to business, tearing my insides up with his fierce tongue. He kept saying, “Mmm, mmm, mmm,” and when I inquired about the taste, he pecked my thighs and licked his shiny wet lips.

  “This mutha taste like a seasoned fat juicy steak. This some pretty good shit, baby, you just don’t know.”

  We laughed and I heard a clunk in the closet. I turned my head, pretending as if I didn’t know what it was.

  “Something must have fallen,” I said with a shrug. Miles paid the noise no mind and lay back on the bed. I stroked his muscle, holding it straight up so Charlene and Dedra could get a good look.

  “I see that some things just never change,” I said. “Is it just me or has this thing gotten even bigger?”

  Miles was proud of what he was working with. “Naw, it’s still about the same,” he boasted. “That’s roughly twelve inches right there and I’m sure you won’t have no complaints.”

  I agreed and couldn’t help but take another glance at the closet. There was no way for me to let my friends see how I really got down, and after I got up to turn off the lights, the heat was on. For the next thirty minutes or so, Miles and I connected well. I wasn’t sure how Dedra and Charlene would feel about me, especially after witnessing and hearing something so intense. No questions asked, Miles’ freakiness was well above average, yet the passion was not there. This was strictly a fuck thing and I still felt like nothing but a piece of meat to him. I couldn’t believe Charlene and Dedra had held their peace, and as soon as Miles left, they slid over the closet door and fell out on the floor.

  “Girl,” Charlene shouted. “Where in the hell did you find his ass at? I ain’t never had a man get down like that, and I couldn’t believe the size of that thing!”

  Dedra was shaking her head. “Me either! I seriously thought you were lying, but when you held that sucker up, I had to cover my damn mouth. I couldn’t even imagine nothing like that going inside of me. How in the hell did you ride him?”

  “Trust me, it ain’t never been easy, but it damn sure has been a lot of fun.”

  “Yeah, we know, Miss Steakum,” Charlene laughed. “He messed me up with that and Dedra’s ass poked me in my back. I jumped and your damn shoe fell off the shoe rack.”

  “I knew something had happened. I thought I was busted. Either way, Miles wouldn’t have given a care. If he’d had his way, all three of us would have been in that bed working him over.”

  We laughed, again, and couldn’t stop talking about what had happened. Charlene called Jesse to tell her about it, and when all was said and done, Dedra and Charlene had to pay up!

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Life was starting to feel good. I listened to Mama, over the phone the other day, when she reminded me life was too short for a bunch of foolishness, and taking a bunch of shit off men, definitely wasn’t where it was at. Miles had already been cut again, but this time, I didn’t even trip. Being with Dwayne had toughened me up with relationships, and I wouldn’t trade the experiences from my relationship with him for nothing in the world.

  I was starting to demand more from my relationships, but I quickly found out that my standards left me at home alone. That was cool, because I threw myself into work, school and exercise. By walking nearly every day at Flo Valley and doing aerobics, I’d dropped about forty pounds. My body was fierce, but the only thing I didn’t like was my long feathery hair. It was too thick and made my face look fat—me look older. Trying to change it up, I entered the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I no longer hated who I saw, but I knew the hair had to go. I searched for some scissors and started clipping away. I trimmed my hairline with clippers, and teased my short curled hair with styling gel. I loved my new look and couldn’t wait for others to see it.

  While at work, I kept busy, organizing my desk and presenting myself as a true professional. The compliments about my hair were overwhelming. Many people liked it, so it didn’t take long to grow on me. Whenever customers would come in, I was polite and did my best to service them as much as I could. Some of the people came in angry about their insurance, wanting to talk to one of the Member Service Managers, and many customers demanded it. Even those people left upbeat. I carried on conversations with them, like I understood their problems. It took less than a month for me to be offered a new position, and I couldn’t believe that I was already due for a promotion.

  “We have a vacancy in Member Services,” the manager, Elaine, said. “If you’re interested in it, let me know.”

  “Of course,” I said, standing near my desk speaking to her. “I would love to work in Member Services.”

  Elaine told me to set up an appointment with Ruth, and when I called, she was so happy for me.

  “I told you to hang in there, didn’t I? And I don’t have to tell you that three more grand will be added to your salary.”

  I was speechless. Why all of this was happening to me, I didn’t know, but I was grateful. Ruth told me to come see her later so we could work out the final details. I agreed to do so.

  Just as I hung up the phone, a group of White men in business suits entered the receptionist area. One asked if he could use the phone, and I directed him to one that was made available to people in the nearby lobby. Another man asked if I would buzz Jeff from Marketing, just to let him know that Schmidt’s Brokerage Firm was there to see him. I smiled, buzzing Jeff and letting him know that he had guests awaiting him. I hung up the phone, appreciating the presence of a Black man who walked into the receptionist area, dressed in a tailored black suit. One hand was in his pocket and the other hand swung
by his side. He was cleaner than Mr. Clean, had a head full of natural curly black hair, heart-melting grey eyes, and a physique that showed he was cut in all the right places. Men didn’t come this clean-cut and fine, did they? I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, and neither could another lady who had turned her head to see who had captured my attention. When the phone rang, it knocked me out of my trance.

  “Physician’s Health Plan. How may I direct your call?” I asked, keeping my eyes on Mr. Sexy. His goatee suited his chin so well, and as he talked to the other men in the lobby, I noticed his dynamite smile. His teeth were perfect, and when I say this man was flawless, he was every bit of it. He had to be a movie star, and I was seconds away from asking for his autograph.

  Jeff came through the double glass doors, greeting each of the men who waited and shook hands with them. He gripped the fine Black man’s shoulder, and quite frankly, I noticed all of the men giving him their attention. He stroked his chin a few times, laughed with the men, then they all moved in my direction. Jeff had always been nice to me, and he stopped for a quick introduction.

  “Gentlemen, this is Brenda Hampton, our receptionist. Our meeting shouldn’t be that long, but if you need anything, please let her know.”

  I said hello to the men and all of them spoke back. The Black man, however, reached out his hand for me to shake it. “Jay Rogers, Brenda. Nice to meet you.”

  I wanted to jump up and do some cartwheels. His hand was so soft and strong, I didn’t want to let go. The addictive cologne he wore infused the space between us, and not only did I smell his cologne, but I could also smell money. From the top of his head, to the bottom of his sharp leather shiny shoes, he was loaded with cash. I must have looked like a fool with my mouth hanging open, and my words were unable to come out. He pulled his hand back, and after slipping it into his pocket, he joined the other men as they made their way through the doors, and into their Marketing meeting. I couldn’t get a grip of myself that day, and I wondered if I would have the pleasure of ever seeing Jay Rogers again.