If Only I Knew

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If Only I Knew Page 10

by Madison Torgeson


  Maybe someone took her? Maybe they came into her house when she was eating her breakfast and snatched her. What the hell. I’m starting to think like Harmen now and that’s not a good thing. Honestly that’s the last thing I need to do right now. I don’t need to be jumping to conclusions and the worst case scenario just like she always does.

  Resting back on my heels again and lightly shaking my head at my absurd thoughts, I turn and look around the neighborhood to see if anyone is watching me or see if anyone seems like they may know Sally. I’m not sure what I’m hoping for, preferably someone standing on the side walk with a big sign that says “I know Sally Long” would be helpful at this point. But I highly doubt I’m going to be that lucky today.

  Walking down the steps toward my car I notice an older man standing outside the trailer next to Sally’s watching me. Without thinking about any repercussions that could come my way or really about what I’m doing, I walk towards the stranger who’s still watching me.

  My parents always told me growing up to never approach strangers. You know the saying “stranger danger”, yeah well my parents really tried to make sure I never forgot it. I’d say they did a pretty good job, up until now. I feel like I have no other option at this point so I guess I’m going to just forget that for today.

  As I approach the man I take in his rugged appearance, long blonde hair that looks like it hasn’t been washed in months, and baggy torn up clothes that make me wonder how long he’s been wearing them. Unfortunately, I have a feeling this is what most people in this area look like.

  I can see the hesitation in his eyes as I walk up to him, I’m sure he doesn’t know what I’m doing in a place like this and frankly I’m not so sure myself. I come to a stop in front of the stranger and try to come off as friendly as possible so I don’t scare him away before I know if he can help me.

  “Hi there, my name is Grayson and I’m a friend of your neighbor, Sally Long, do you know where she might be today?” I ask the man.

  That made sound non creeperish, right?

  “How do I know you’re one of Sally’s friends and that you’re not here to take her away?” he asks nervously.

  I knew it, I knew someone snatched her! Holy shit, relax Gray and listen to the man before he kicks you off his property for strange behavior.

  “I talked with her yesterday and told her I would be coming down so I figured she would be at home. Why would you think I’d be here to take her away?” I ask confused.

  “Cause the last time a man that looked like you showed up here he threatened to take her away and hide her if she was bad.”

  What the hell is this guy talking about? I’m even more confused now than I was when I came here, which is just what I need. I put both my hands up to try and help him calm down and see that I’m a friend of hers and that’s all. Even though that’s a lie, he doesn’t need to know that.

  “I’m not here to take anyone, like I said, I’m a friend of Sally’s and was just hoping to talk with her. I was hoping since you’re her neighbor you might know if she was home today. That’s all, I’m sorry if I upset you,” I say as calmly as I can.

  This guy already seems like he’s on the edge of freaking out, no use in me pushing him over the edge.

  “Okay, sorry I didn’t mean to be mean, but that other guy that came by last week was about your age and came in here all dressed up in his suit and I couldn’t help but over hear him yelling at Miss Sally that he would take her away if she didn’t do what he said. I just didn’t want to get her in trouble if you were with him,” the man says with a long sigh as he looks past me towards Sally’s home.

  I follow his gaze over my shoulder and notice a blind is being held back, as if someone is trying to move it to see outside. As quickly as I saw it, it snaps back to where it was and looks as though no one had ever touched it. My eyes must be playing tricks on me, unless she is home and is just hiding.

  “No, I’m not sure who you’re talking about exactly, but I’m definitely not with him or associated with him at all. I just came to talk with Sally for a little bit, do you know if she’s home?”

  “I thought so, but maybe she left for a while. Did you try knocking?” he asks.

  “Yes sir, I tried knocking a couple of times, but it didn’t seem like anyone was home.”

  “Well then she must have left for a little bit without me noticing. Maybe come back tomorrow and try again,” the old man offered up.

  “I’ll do that. Thank you for your help sir. I’ll come back in the morning and hopefully catch her. Thanks again,” I say as I start walking back to my car across the street. I wave at the old man over my shoulder just before getting into the car.

  Once I’m safely back in my car I start it up and head back towards the hotel. I can’t help but wonder who the man was referring to when he talked about the younger guy in a suit who came and talked with Sally. I don’t know much about her, but why would someone threaten a poor woman by saying they would take her away. Just seems odd to me I guess, but then again not a lot of things makes sense to me these days.

  Once I get back to my room, I take a shower to clean up and end up lying in bed for the rest of the night. I guess I’ll be going back to Sally’s tomorrow, I just hope she’s there and will talk to me even if it’s only for five minutes. I just want to know who she is to Brett, is she an aunt, a second cousin, a long lost relative that he doesn’t talk about much.

  Who is she? And why did he have her listed as an emergency contact? I always had my parents down as my contact, while at school, someone who will drop everything and be there to help me if something goes wrong. So who is she in Brett’s life that she would do the same and why hasn’t he ever mentioned her to Harmen? That’s the real kicker.

  I reach over and grab my phone off the nightstand and decide to check it since I haven’t all day and see that the only notifications I have are a couple text messages from Harmen, asking what I’m doing and when we can go to the diner. Looks like they are from throughout the day, but unless I want a repeat of this morning I figure I better let the girl know what’s going on or who the hell knows what she’ll do. And the last thing I need is her calling me demanding answers about where I am and what I’m doing, when I don’t know everything yet.

  I decide to send her a quick message letting her know I was busy all day with homework and wasn’t able to get to my phone much, and also that hopefully soon I’ll have time to go to the diner. I hope it’s enough to satisfy her, until I can get this whole mess figured out and tell her what’s really going on with that slimy boyfriend of hers. Well if I can get some proof so she will believe me that is.

  As I toss and turn all night I just keep having to remind myself why I’m here in this nasty rundown hotel room, on this lumpy ass bed. I would do this and so much worse just to make sure Harmen is safe and happy. I know she pretends to be happy, but I can see it in her eyes that she is trying to convince herself she is. I don’t know that she actually is happy, from what I’ve seen and the Harmen I know, she’s hiding something and I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with Brett.

  Lately I’ve noticed that she’s a little more skittish, which I don’t like or even understand, and she doesn’t talk about him as much as she used to, but that part is okay with me. I keep telling myself that I’m doing this for the sake of her, the girl I love more than anyone or anything else. No matter what I find out or how long it takes, I’m making it my mission to ensure she is happy and safe in life, even if in the end it isn’t with me. Once my brain calms down enough, I finally fall asleep and dream of what my life could be like if I am lucky enough to end up with the only woman I’ve ever loved.

  Chapter 15

  Grayson

  After waking up and getting ready for the day I head out to my car and make my way back to Sally’s house to see if she’s home and up for a chat on this fine Los Angeles morning. As I pull up outside her trailer home and park across the street, I look around to see if anyone is out and
about. The neighborhood seems to be deadly quiet, which doesn’t help me at all.

  I also notice that the man I talked with yesterday, whose name I never asked for, is not outside either. I’m not sure if I expected him to just be sitting outside waiting for me or what, but I find myself oddly disappointed he isn’t outside waiting for me. I really could have asked him some more questions, especially if she doesn’t answer her door again.

  I look back at Sally’s to see if I can see anyone in the windows watching me, but everything seems to be still. Nothing looks different or out of place since I was here yesterday, so maybe she never came home or she never left. I’m kind of hoping my brain isn’t playing tricks on me when I swear I saw that blind move yesterday, but so far it seems like I was probably just seeing things at this point.

  I get out of my car and walk across the street and up her creaky front steps. Before I knock I try to listen and see if I can hear anything coming from inside, which ends up being a total bust. Either she really isn’t home or she’s hiding and doesn’t want me to know she’s home, which based on the warm welcome I got from our phone call a couple days ago it’s probably the later of the two options.

  Since I don’t hear anything going on inside, I decide to knock just for the hell of it. Maybe I can catch her off guard and wake her up. Good Lord I’m a horrible person for hoping to wake her up. I doubt it’s going to make her want to talk to me less if I do, I know I’d be downright pissed if someone woke me up in the morning by pounding on my door. Oh well.

  I pound my knuckles against the door a couple more times and wait. After a couple minutes with no answer I decide to knock again feeling like I did all of this the day before. After standing on her front steps for over 10 minutes I figure she’s not going to answer the door. And I can’t say I blame her, even though it would make all of this a lot easier for me if she did.

  After coming to the realization that she probably isn’t going to answer her door anytime soon, I walk back across the street and slip into my car. Instead of just driving off and calling it a day, I decide to wait for a while and see if either she or anyone else comes or goes from her trailer.

  I know I’m being a major creep and would probably freak a bunch of people out if they saw me sitting here, but I figure this is my best chance of seeing if she is home and is just refusing to answer the door or if she is actually gone. Thankfully the neighborhood is pretty much dead this morning so I don’t have to deal with strange looks from people due to sitting in my car and staring at her house like a complete freak.

  After a few hours of sitting in my car and playing on my phone, nothing has happened. And I mean nothing. No one has come or gone from her place and I’ve only seen one vehicle leave the neighborhood. I give myself another hour or two before I decide it’s time to leave and face the facts that I am leaving with nothing more than I came here with.

  Just as I’m about to start my car and pull away from the curb, I see the mail man opening people’s boxes and delivering their mail. I watch as he gets to Sally’s house and opens her mail box and leaves some envelopes in there, before turning around and walking back to his vehicle which is parked a couple homes down.

  I slip down in my seat hoping he won’t see me as he drives by on his way out of the neighborhood. I look in the rearview mirror and once he’s gone I sit back up in my seat and look around. The neighborhood is still completely deserted and no one seems to be watching me from any of the parked cars or anything creepy. Not that I can talk at this point.

  I feel like my only way to get answers at this point and to hopefully avoid going home empty handed is to break all of my moral codes and probably some real laws and look at her mail. I tell myself I won’t actually open it so technically it’s not a crime, at least that’s what I tell myself in order to make myself open the door and get out of the car and make my feet move across the street toward her mail box. With a quick look over both my shoulders to make sure no one’s watching I open her mail box and pull out the envelopes the mail man left.

  I can’t believe I’m doing this! I can’t stop my mind from running a hundred miles a minute as I try to calm down enough to actually look at the envelopes in my hand. Quickly flipping through them shows me nothing, until I get to the last one in the pile and notice a different person’s name on the address line.

  After double checking that I’m not just seeing things I look at the name again, Sally Yates, to see if I recognize it from anywhere. I can’t seem to recall ever hearing or seeing that name anywhere before and the return address doesn’t give me any information besides an address, with no company name listed. As quickly and calmly as I can, I put all the envelopes back in the mail box and turn around to make my way to my car.

  Once I slump back in my seat, I try to catch my breath. Sometime between putting the envelopes back in the mail box and walking the 30 steps back to my car my breathing picked up and now I sound like I just ran a marathon instead of walked 100 feet. I mean I knew I was out of shape, but this is downright embarrassing.

  After a couple minutes of heavy breathing I’m calmed down enough to pull out my phone and search the name “Sally Yates”. Once it loads, my screen is bombarded with results for a Sally Yates who was married to some wealthy lawyer who somehow ended up in prison.

  Not really sure what I’m looking at or how any of this has to do with Brett, I keep scrolling until I come across an article with a name on it that I couldn’t mistake. I drop my phone in my lap like it’s on fire and will go up in smoke at any second and look away, like that will make somehow make it untrue.

  Nothing makes sense to me anymore, I don’t understand what I’m looking at or what I found or how I’ve never heard of any of this before, but it clicks. Picking my phone back up I scroll and see that article after article tells me exactly what I need to know, followed up by pictures proving what I’ve been reading is true. My head doesn’t want to believe it, but my heart knows what I’m reading is true and that Harmen has no idea what has been going on behind her back for over two years.

  I put my car in drive and race out of the nasty neighborhood that holds the secrets that will tear my best friend apart. I am now more than ever dreading being the one that will have to tell her, but in the end this is why I came here. I wanted to find answers and I can definitely say I found exactly what I came here for. I just never thought it’d be this.

  Chapter 16

  Harmen

  The last couple days I feel like I’ve been living on the edge, and not in a good way. I’m nervous all the time about doing or saying anything to set Brett off again. I still don’t know exactly what I did or said that turned him into that man that left bruises on my arm. I woke up the morning after his freak out to find my upper arm covered in a bruise the shape and size of his hand. I tried to cover it up with makeup right away so no one would see it, but that just made it look worse.

  So I’ve decided to wear long sleeve shirts until it clears up, no one seems to have noticed which is all I really want. Thankfully it isn’t too warm out because the last thing I want or need are people asking questions, especially Gray. It helps that I haven’t seen him for a few days, so hopefully by the time I do, it will be cleared up enough that I will be able to play it off or just keep wearing my long sleeve shirts.

  Either way, I’ll make sure no one sees it, not because I’m ashamed, I just don’t want people asking a bunch of questions and then deciding to dissect my relationship with Brett because I know that will just upset him more in the end. And that’s exactly what I’m trying to stay away from that, until I can decide what I want to do.

  I keep telling myself I’m not scared of him and that I don’t think he’ll hurt me and that it was just a onetime thing. The problem with that though is I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, especially since I haven’t said any of it out loud.

  I know Gray will be able to see past any lies I try to tell him, that’s the only problem with having someone know you so well, I can’
t hide anything from him unfortunately. It’s not that I want to lie to him or try hide it from him, I just know he will try make it out to be something bigger than what it really is, and right now I’m still waffling between what role I played and what part Brett played in the whole thing.

  The last couple days he’s thankfully been back to his normal self. He gives me hugs and kisses and tells me he loves me every day. Besides the first time he tried to touch me after the whole arm incident I haven’t flinched at all, if that doesn’t tell you I’m really not scared of him then I’m not sure what does.

  He apologized the morning after too and we haven’t brought it up since then. I see no point in reliving and rehashing the past if it’s not going to happen again anyways. He promised over and over again that he didn’t mean to hurt me, that he was just really upset and didn’t know he was holding me that hard. When he apologized I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes, so I feel like I have no reason not to believe him at this point.

  Most people would say I’m a very loyal person and some people probably see that as a flaw in times like this. I always said I will believe someone, especially those I care most about until they give me a reason not to. I know this may seem like a situation that should be enough for me to leave, but it hasn’t happened before and he’s told me it never will again. I guess you can say my loyalty has kicked in because I believe him and until I don’t, I’m not going anywhere.

  A big reason I’m trying to move past what happened is because he’s been there for me since the day my parents died, so I can’t let something this small pull us apart. I wasn’t a good girlfriend following my parent’s death, I know that. I was having a hard time coping with what happened and I ended up leaning on Gray a lot, when I should have been leaning on Brett instead.

 

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