by Kamisa Cole
In fact, there were moments when I could see the man Alec would be in a couple of years, kind, fun, curious, and bossy in the best way possible. He’d probably fill out more, and maybe he’d even be able to grow a beard if he wanted to.
Hell, I sure hoped I was still around then to see that.
Once he was out of my sight, I leaned back against the door, trying to catch my breath. Due to the blue balls last night, and all the talking he’d done I was close to coming without even being touched, and that was the last thing I wanted.
However, I also wanted to be naked with him, so I kicked off my shoes, hung up my vest and jacket and then followed him, losing the rest of my clothes along the way. I didn’t know when I’d last been so excited about everything that was coming before the sex as I was about the act itself.
Probably never, if I was honest with myself. The bathroom had already steamed up and I pushed down my boxers, watching through the smoked glass as Alec jerked himself with slow and steady movements.
Joining him, I instantly pushed his hand away and replaced it with my own. With my thumb I teased the sensitive slit on the tip, watching Alec’s lips part.
“You know, even when I was bruised and hurt, I wondered what it would feel like, look like, to have your ringed fingers wrapped around my dick. I was sitting there, barely able to breathe without aching, yet you managed to make me hard,” he confessed as we watched my hand move. “Afterward I might have touched myself imagining it.”
I squeezed him a little tighter, feeling his hips jerk in response, and then stroked him some more. “And? Does it come close to your fantasies?”
He shook his head, his eyes filled with so many emotions I didn’t even try to place them all. Instead I pulled him closer by the back of his neck, kissing him deeply. His erection rubbed against mine and I wrapped my hand around us both, lazily jerking us together.
“Everything about you is better in real life,” he whispered, and his fingertips danced across the winged tattoo on my chest before going down my arm, following the ink there, ending with his index finger sliding across our joined tips, causing us both to moan.
“I need what you said earlier, Kash, and I need it now. I want you to be inside of me, to take me. I…” He bit his lip and, while he still was a dirty talker, now he was bashful about it. “I want to feel you inside of me when I get up tomorrow morning, want to be reminded of it all day. I have been with a guy before, but honestly… He was small and slim. I think… I…”
I arched a brow. “Yes?”
“My toy was bigger than him, but not like you. It’s almost like I’ve never done it before. You aren’t my first, but I wish you were. I feel like you are, because you’re the first real one. Not a stolen, hurried moment.”
My chest ached with his words, my heart dancing inside my ribcage, ready to break out and find more room. I could hardly breathe. “Alec,” I whispered instead, then wrapped my arms around him, pulling him flush against me. I kissed him hungrily, deeply, claiming his mouth as mine, then I reached for the body wash. If what he said was true we’d need prepping, and proper prepping, no matter if he knew what was coming.
Spreading the foam across his body I held his eyes as I reached his ass, kneading his butt cheeks before slipping a finger between them, teasing and circling his puckered hole.
Oh God, just the way he pushed back against my finger with a groan already made me think that maybe the prepping alone would be too much for me to handle.
ALEC
I hadn’t lied about what I’d just said, and I certainly had never thought the prepping alone could be so much fun, but when Kash knelt behind me in the shower and spread my cheeks to lick along the crack I had to press my hands against the wall, looking for leverage. I needed something to support me.
Never before had anyone licked me there, and the change between his soft tongue and calloused fingers was almost too much already.
My dick was hard and leaking, the water washing away the evidence instantly. I tried to not reach for myself, to not jerk myself, but Kash’s patience and tongue combined with a finger inside of me was almost too much. I wanted more and, at the same time, less.
Stroking in the rhythm he used to tongue-fuck me, I felt myself relaxing more. I rested my forehead against the cold tiles, pushing back onto him, and he let a second finger join. Since I was so far gone the small burn registered, but only briefly, before he was finger-fucking me.
“Alec, stroke yourself. Make yourself come so you’ll last longer when we do this. You know, when I hit your prostate with my cock…” He curled his finger, hitting the exact spot he’d just promised, and I grunted as my first orgasm washed over me, painting the tiles with a milky coat of white.
Kash kept teasing me, albeit slower, and I whimpered. It was too much, too much and yet not enough, and I straightened, feeling the loss of his fingers even while being lightheaded. Maybe I’d forgotten to breathe for a while there and it was showing now.
He stepped into me, kissing me, teasing my tongue with his, his hands roaming my body and I couldn’t do anything but think that this, yes, this was it. This was the way it was supposed to feel when you were about to have sex.
Once he had his fill, I grabbed the body wash. I wanted to have his knees as weak as mine were, but when my hand slicked over his erection, he stilled my wrist. “I’m won’t hold out long as it is. Start teasing me and I don’t think you’ll get out what you want out of the evening.”
I licked across the tat on his chest, tasting the water and, underneath that, Kash. “Let me make you come then. Let me swallow it all down. Let me have that first orgasm. We have all night, right?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Alec, I seriously won’t hold on long.” He let go of my hand and I started moving it, started squeezing and stroking until he closed his eyes, squeezing them together tight while pumping into my fist.
“Watch, Kash. See how you come all over me.” I reached blindly behind him and shut off the water, not wanting his cum to wash away before he was done.
He groaned. “Where the hell did you get that dirty mouth from? You have no idea how glad I am that it’s mine. For real.” He cupped the back of my neck, nipping my bottom lip while his dick grew in my hand, hot and heavy, and suddenly jerked.
He was so close we smeared the cum between us as we kissed while I stroked every last drop out of him. He panted, and I let my fingertip glide through the cum on my skin, holding his eyes. “Jesus, Baby Boy…”
He winced as the name slipped out while I couldn’t help the excited thud my heart gave. “Yes.” That was all I said, not wanting him to vanish inside his own head again, to think too much. I brought my finger to my lips and licked it clean, then turned the water back on, rubbing myself against Kash.
It didn’t take long and the kisses turned from teasing to hot and the shower was shut off again. We were as clean as we were going to be, and I didn’t mind the relocation.
Drying off took a matter of seconds, then I found myself pressed against the counter, Kash’s hands on my ass, nudging me. He actually lifted me off my feet and I wrapped my legs around his hips. I wasn’t a small guy by any means and, while I was on the slim side, I still couldn’t help but marvel at his strength. I saw him a lot, had even when we hadn’t been a couple, and still wondered when he fit the gym in.
I expected him to all but throw me on the bed, but instead he lowered me softly, his expression gentle.
“You sure you still want this?”
I stared at him. “Still want it? I want it even more now. God, Kash, I’m ready. So ready.”
He shook his head, resting his forehead against my shoulder before expelling a harsh breath. “You aren’t, but we’ll get you there. Turn and get onto all fours,” he ordered and then was gone from the bed. I did as I was told and he reappeared with a condom and lube, slicking his fingers up.
I arched a brow as I smelled banana. “That’s with taste? And banana of all things?” I asked over my
shoulder, feeling self-conscious and yet curious.
Kash chuckled. “You know, technically you’re prepping a banana for more, so… It’s just an inside joke… With myself, mostly.”
Jealousy zapped through me. I knew he’d been with others, and I shouldn’t be surprised or cross about it, but… This was my Kash. I didn’t want to think about how many guys had been lucky enough to end up here without them having to beg for it, work for it, like I had to.
“Hey, stop thinking and focus on this,” Kash murmured, clearly picking up on my mood. His thumb pressed against my entrance and no matter what I wanted to say, when it slipped inside easily I moaned instead. “You feel this, right?”
I nodded as he introduced a second finger, slick as well, easily going in, leaving only a little burning feeling behind before pleasure took over.
“Tell me you feel my fingers inside of you right now, Alec. I need to know you’re here with me and not up in your head,” he ordered, and I pushed against his hand, wanting more, needing more.
It still didn’t escape my notice that he was back in control of his mind again, calling me Alec instead of Baby Boy.
“Yes, your fingers… Amazing… More,” I forced out, feeling how he stretched me, teased me, and then bit my ass cheek to distract me as he added a third finger. This time I needed a moment and Kash’s body covered mine, his tongue sliding down my spine. When he finally moved again, I was sure I wouldn’t last long.
“Now, Kash,” I pleaded, feeling him take a deep breath.
“Alec…”
“Now, or I’ll come just from your touch,” I whispered, meaning it.
Suddenly his body and his fingers were gone, and I found myself on my back with him hovering over me. “Tell me whenever it gets too much,” he pleaded as he sheathed himself with a condom.
I didn’t tell him that everything with him had been too much from the beginning, too intense, too perfect. Instead I silently nodded, hoping this wasn’t going to break me.
KASH
When Alec had implied this would feel almost like his first time, I’d found it cute. However, prepping him, teasing him, seeing him opening up for me, willing and ready, suddenly made me feel the same. I looked down on him, intent on seeing his face while were doing this. I needed to know when it was getting too much, too rough, too…whatever. I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in any way.
I leaned over him after bringing his legs up to my shoulders, placing one hand next to his head while I wrapped the other around my cock, guiding myself to his entrance.
His lips were parted, wet from where he’d continuously licked them, and I leaned down, just teasing him, myself, as I kissed him, slowly. We hadn’t been in a hurry so far, and I wasn’t going to speed up now. His hands came up to cradle my face, tilting my head to his liking, and I let him. He licked inside my mouth, both of us dominating, both submitting. He controlled our lips, I controlled our impending orgasms. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold off long, the feel of him around my fingers had already been out of this world.
His tongue massaged mine while I rubbed the tip of my erection over his puckered hole.
“Now,” he pleaded against my lips and I swallowed as his hands wandered over my shoulders and then under, wrapping around me.
I nudged my hips the slightest bit, glad I’d used an excess of lube on my fingers while stretching him, and yet I felt him tense when I pushed inside. I paused, my heart nearly flatlining because this felt right, and I had to move. I didn’t, not until I felt his nails digging into my ribs, then I pushed in further.
“Don’t… Don’t hesitate. I’m…good,” he bit out and I searched his face, wondering if he meant it as he wrapped his legs around my hips. As much as I would’ve welcomed the deeper penetration from our first position, this was so much more intense.
“Alec,” I gritted out when I paused again because he’d tensed. I was almost fully sheathed, his body warm and welcoming, hot and tight, but as long as I had the feeling he was going to hurt if I moved I stayed frozen.
“I’m good,” he assured me, rubbing his nose across my scruff.
Slowly, carefully, I flexed my hips until we were fully connected, a unit, and I held my breath because now I needed to adjust. “Not gonna last long,” I admitted, and he chuckled breathlessly.
“Good, because I want to come just from feeling you like this,” he replied softly, his fingertips brushing across my forehead, stroking back strands of dark hair. I kissed his palm, moving my hips, in and out in a slow steady rhythm. I didn’t want this to be over as fast as I feared it would be.
Shifting, I drew one of his thighs higher up my body, changing the angle and causing Alec to expel a string of curses.
“Good, I assume,” I teased, and he nodded, unable to form words. I watched him tilt his head back as he scratched down my ribs, searching for something to hold onto. His Adam’s apple was bobbing with each carefully orchestrated thrust, and seeing him come undone like this, just because I was moving inside of him, made me want to never leave this bed again.
I could see all the ways I could be drawing this out, enjoying every single part of his body until I maybe had my fill. Was that even possible?
I leaned down, flicking my tongue over one peaked nipple and Alec cried out, his hard cock jumping between us as he came just from that little extra sensation.
“Fuck, Kash, what… Why… Why did you do that?” he rasped out, his hips still moving with me, against me, as if he was trying to ride the last bit of his orgasm out.
I shook my head, unable to speak, but now picking up my pace. I didn’t mind the way he shifted, moved as if it got almost too much for him, yet I paused when my balls were drawing up because he was panting. “I-I can… Alec, I can stop,” I offered, knowing it would be hard, but I also knew he was more sensitive now, and there was only a small window where pain and pleasure were the same before it became unbearable.
“Come on me, Kash. Mix your cum with mine,” he pleaded, and I didn’t need to be asked twice. I couldn’t resist one last hard thrust, but then I pulled out, and tore off the condom before finishing with two hard strokes, coming all over his stomach and his spent dick. My knees were trembling, my breath coming hard, and I fell forward, making sure I wouldn’t be smothering him, so we wouldn’t make more of a mess than we already had.
“One second, and I’ll clean you up,” I promised, but he cupped the back of my neck, pressed a sweet kiss to my lips and then got up. I turned onto my back, staring up at the ceiling while I waited for my heart to calm down again.
Only it didn’t. My breathing slowed, and my body relaxed, but my heart? My heart was still racing, unable to stop while I knew Alec was close, so close, and I already wanted to have my way with him again although I probably needed at least a few minutes of recovery. I’d been sure that being inside him would ease some of the need I was feeling, would make it a bit harder for him to wrap me around his little finger time and again. As he knelt next to me, moving a warm cloth over my body, I knew I’d been wrong.
The shadows in the room shifted and I realized we’d never turned on the light. The moon had been out, lighting up the room enough for me to see every reaction on his face, but now clouds had moved in and everything was harder to decipher, especially the expression on Alec’s face when he returned after disposing of the cloth. He knelt next to me again, his fingertips brushing across me, his face pensive.
“Do you regret it?” My words were barely audible, yet I had to ask because if he did…
I didn’t know what I’d do, what I’d say, because for me this hadn’t been a mistake at all.
ALEC
“Do you regret it?”
I could only just hear Kash’s question in the near silent room, and I shook my head. Regret it? Not one bit. Want it again? Yes, instantly.
“What if I love you?” I asked instead, stretching out next to him because I didn’t want to feel him stiffen. I’d overheard Gage and Sav that night, talk
ing about Kash and me and, while I’d intended to move on, not linger and hear what they thought, I hadn’t been able to.
Sav had mentioned how hard it was for Kash to admit when he cared about someone because all his life he’d been taught loving someone was a choice. I hadn’t thought there was much to worry about, but the way Kash had taken me, had made sure I was okay and comfortable, had proven to me that I felt so much more for him than I’d thought possible.
This went beyond need.
Beyond lust.
It went beyond a brief attraction or curiosity. I wanted more, so much more, and not just tonight and the next. I’d labeled us boyfriends because I’d needed him to know that I was his, and only his, but now I realized that I wanted to wake up with him, share birthdays and Sunday breakfasts in bed.
I loved Kash and had been fooling myself by thinking that this would only be temporary, a way to work the other out of our systems.
“I don’t think you should be in love with me, Alec. I’m not… I…” Kash shifted and I felt his fingertips brush my face. “I’ve never been in a serious relationship like this before. I don’t know what to do, and everything with you has been…intense from the get-go. I don’t want to see you leave, but you’re still young, and I’m… I don’t…”
I shut him up with a kiss, tasting the hesitation on his lips. “I don’t need you to say it back until you’re ready, Kash, at all. I just need to know if you’ll let me love you, let me be with you. I don’t care what experiences you have in the permanent department because I don’t have any really. I do know what I want, and that’s you. Tell me you want me, too.”
His fingertips were moving across my face, following the lines as if he wanted to memorize them. “How could I possibly not want you? I’ve done nothing but want you since you walked into DiverCity, Alec. You were beaten up, bloody, bruised, and I still wanted to take you home, wanted to see if you’d follow through after that kiss. I only didn’t because… Seeing your bruises would’ve made me angry every time I touched your body. But this is not about want, Alec…”