'Til There Was You

by Jerry Cole

  Today was going to be a good day, Finn could feel it.

  First, he had an actual date organized with his son. He hated using the word ‘date’ though, but it was the only one that seemed appropriate for what this was. The only real difference being that for this date, he was beyond nervous. He could not, under any circumstance, screw it up. He was lucky enough to be given the chance in the first place!

  After that disastrous incident at Zac’s school the previous day, Finn swallowed his pride, called Angela and apologized profusely for how he had acted. She accepted his apology with some prodding, which Finn took as a good enough sign to ask to spend the evening with Zac. He hated that he had to ask though.

  “And what will you two be doing exactly?” Angela has asked derisively.

  “That’s between me and him,” Finn had responded rightly.

  Truth be told, Finn had no idea what he and Zac would be doing. He figured they’d go for a drive, talk a little, get some food... what did he know about entertaining a twelve-year-old?

  But that didn’t matter. What did matter was that he had actual time organized with his son, and he could not be more thrilled. It was a strange feeling really, this excitement at seeing someone that wasn’t a potential future partner or lover. Finn rarely got excited over anything outside that realm, so it was a strange sensation that he was only too happy to ride.

  Before he hung out with his son though, Finn had something else to do today, which was the other reason he was in such a good mood. Today, Finn had work. It might be an odd thing to hear too, that Finn loved his job, but he did.

  Finn was a life coach. It was a job that he kind of just fell in to when he was in his late twenties, did casually for a little while, and then decided to make it an actual career. Now, at thirty-five years of age, Finn had been a professional life coach for seven years, had helped well over one hundred men and women, and couldn’t imagine himself doing anything else. He really did love it.

  But what was a life coach exactly? Put simply, a life coach helped other people get their life back on track, and then in the place they wanted it to be. And although what this technically meant varied from client to client, the methodology was almost always the same. Almost always, the client was just some down on his luck fella who needed a little self-care, self-love and self-confidence. Finn would help them find this, while also pushing them toward certain goals. It was rewarding work... both on the wallet, and on the soul.

  And yes, Finn was more than aware of the irony that he was perhaps the last person who should have been giving life advice. But that didn’t seem to matter. These people needed a guide, and for whatever reason, Finn was very good at being said guide.

  Today was a little different to usual. Where usually Finn worked individually with clients, today he was hosting an hour-long free seminar designed specifically to attract more clients to his base. The problem with being a life coach was that if you were good at it, your clients eventually left. In a weird way, the less clients one had was actually a sign of success. But that didn’t mean it was preferable.

  Finn threw these seminars about once a month. Usually there was anywhere between ten to thirty people, mostly young men, all there to hear what Finn had to say. He had a whole presentation prepared too of course, having given this seminar a dozen times before. By the end he’d expect to get at least three new clients... five if he were really feeling himself.

  And Finn was feeling himself too. He wore a navy-blue suit with an open collar white shirt underneath, brown shoes and a matching brown belt, had his hair freshly cut and styled the way he liked, and even put on a touch of fake-tan to make it appear as if he got out more than he really did. His teeth were looking white, his blue eyes popped off the suit, and he was walking on air on account of his seeing his son later. Three clients? Five? Finn felt so good he thought he might even wrangle ten!

  Like Finn said, today was going to be a good day.

  The seminar was called, How to Finish First with Finn Connor, Life Specialist, and it was being held in the same place it always ways, Sweeny’s Rooftop Bar in the center of the city. The bar itself wasn’t anything special, just an old-school pub that had been around since the city was first founded. But it was the bar’s location that had Finn booking it on a monthly basis.

  From the rooftop, one could see for miles in all directions; over the city and toward the ocean one way, and over the city and toward the Blue Mountains the other, or just right into a stack of skyscrapers that seemed to disappear among the clouds. It brought with it a sense of awe, which often had potential clients gaping.

  As he always did, Finn made sure to arrive a few minutes late so he would be the last one to step through the door. He perched himself near the stairs so that he could see the bodies moving up to the rooftop. He counted over twenty at least, and grinned menacingly to himself. It was like shooting fish in a goddamn barrel.

  When it was eight minutes past the start time, Finn decided to climb the stairs and get things going. He did a final check of himself in the mirror, tested his breath and then took the stairs two at a time until he emerged on the rooftop to the low mumble of chatter, hushed gasps, and over twenty pairs of eyes all staring right at him.

  “Good afternoon all!” Finn held his hands wide as he moved through the tables toward the back of the rooftop. There, a small stage was erected for him to stand. This spot was chosen specifically as it had the sun setting behind him, which lit him up like an angel descending from heaven... or so he told himself. “And welcome to How to Finish First with Finn Connor.”

  As Finn stepped up on the stage, he relished in the sound of applause coming from behind him. The majority of the crowd were men between the ages of twenty to thirty, which was also his specialty. Gay or not, Finn knew he way around men.

  “So.” Finn spun around to face the sea of eager eyes. Some had drinks, most didn’t, all waited with bated breath. “Why are you all here – I mean, I know why you’re here. It’s my job to know. But do you?” He waited a moment, looking from person to person as if expecting an answer. Then, when the tension grew to just the right amount, Finn continued with, “No, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be here.”

  It was a speech that Finn had rehearsed a hundred times. Essentially, he had to explain to these men and women why they were here, without calling them all desperate losers, but also make them think that they were. They needed his help, but he couldn’t say it outright because it was almost insulting. The whole process was a balancing act which he was very, very adept at.

  “... but now you’re probably asking, who the fuck am I and why should you be listening to me?” Finn scoffed at himself and then shook his head. “That’s a good question. Well, I’m a thirty-five-year old movie buff with a twelve-year old son that loves me, a steady rotation on Datematch that I won’t bore you with, and—”

  A crash from the back of the rooftop cut through Finn’s momentum and stopped him dead. Every single head on the rooftop swiveled to see what the cause of the noise was, a few chuckled and some even clapped. It was one man, arriving late, tripping over himself and knocking down a chair as he hurried to slip into the crowd without being seen. When Finn saw who the guy was... truth be told, he wasn’t even that surprised.

  It was that guy from the cafe! The one that was being harassed, who Finn had stepped in to save. He’d given the guy his card too, but hadn’t been sure if he would take it seriously. Some people thought the whole life coach thing was a little goofy, while others were insulted by the concept. This guy, whoever he was, was in desperate need of some coaching. Thank God he did turn up, even if it did ruin the moment.

  “Please, make yourself at home,” Finn spoke over the crowd and to the late entrant. “But try not to break anything. I’m renting.” The crowd chuckled.

  “Sorry,” the young man apologized as he nervously sat down. His voice was low and barely carried over the crowd.

  “That’s fine.” Finn raised his hand as if t
o accept the apology. He then went back to the crowd. “Right,” he clapped his hands together in an attempt to get himself back on track. “Where was I – right. Who am I? Why am I the guy to you should trust with your life. It’s a good question. Well, like I said, I’m a father... I’m a big hit on.... dating...”

  Finn was struggling to get back into the groove. Not only had he lost his place, but he had lost the crowd. With the late arrival of that guy, the noise he had made and the clear distraction he had provided, the crowd were beginning to become restless. And it didn’t help that Finn could barely get two words out.

  “I’m a life coach,” Finn tried to pivot. He raised the volume of his voice, but dropped the pitch so it thundered out over the rooftop. “I’ve helped dozens of men and women get their lives back...”

  He was speaking in circles now, and what was basically gibberish. As he spoke too, he kept on looking across the bar and at the same guy. There was something about him that Finn couldn’t pull his mind from. There was something... desperate.

  “... but what does it mean to get your life back?” Finn then tired. “That’s different for everyone. It might mean getting that new car you’ve had your eye on... or maybe it means a girl you’ve been chasing... or maybe... maybe...” Finn gave a nervous chuckle and looked back over the sea of onlookers. A few were frowning, a couple more even looked bored. Finn was losing them!

  That guy was the only one that was watching him now. Beneath the shaggy blond hair, the five o’clock half-grown shadow and those baggy clothes that looked like they’d never once been cleaned, was a lost, curious, desperate young man who needed Finn more than he even knew. Finn could feel it.

  It was then that Finn had a sudden idea.

  “You!” He pointed to the late entrant. “What’s your name?”

  “Huh?” he blinked back his surprise and his body stiffened. “Me?” he spoke softly and into his chest.

  “Yes. You. What’s your name?” Finn was all smiles as he stepped down from the stage and made his way across the rooftop toward where the young man sat. He couldn’t have been much older than twenty-five, although his feminine features made him look even younger.

  “It’s Aus – Austin,” he stammered.

  “Just Austin?” Finn stopped when he was about ten feet from Austin. “No last name? Or is it like Cher?” he joked to scattered laughter. He could feel the crowd turning back toward him.

  “Oh.” Austin blushed furiously; an action that looked even more intense than usual on account of his porcelain colored skin. “Yeah it’s... Janssen-Dirk.”

  “Woof. No wonder you don’t volunteer that information,” Finn joked again, this time to more laughter.

  “It’s Dutch...” Austin spoke into his chest and refused to look at Finn.

  The guy was a mess, both physically and mentally. Physically, he looked like he had long given up on himself. Mentally, he was even worse. The way he sat, hunched over, talking into his chest, refusing to meet Finn’s eyes suggested a lack of confidence and personal worth the likes of which Finn had not seen in a long time.

  Austin Janssen-Dirk was the living embodiment of pathetic. Therefore, he was perfect for what Finn had in mind.

  “Why are you here, Austin?” Finn asked loud enough so the whole rooftop could hear.

  “For your seminar.” Austin reached into his pocket and pulled out the card that Finn had handed him. “I went online and saw you were hosting a—”

  “No, I don’t mean the literal reason,” Finn chuckled. “I mean, you. Why do you think you need me in your life? Surely, there must be a reason? You didn’t just come here hoping for free drinks.”

  Austin’s face was still flushed red and he could not have looked more uncomfortable if he tried. “I... I want to improve my life.”

  “I assumed so,” Finn guided. He had the attention of every single person on that rooftop and if this landed, he’d be signing up more clients than he could handle. “But why? Is your job stalled? Do you have no motivation? Your love life is in a—”

  “Yes!” Austin yelped before shrinking back. “I mean... yes,” he said softly. “I’m in love, but the man I love... he doesn’t love me back.”

  It was unsurprising that this revelation was met with hushed mutterings of sympathy. A stalled love life was the number one reason most people went to Finn. Some just wanted to get laid, while others had a specific person in mind. Regardless of their motives, Finn was usually able to help. He knew that Austin would be no different.

  “Perfect,” Finn beamed. He then turned to address the crowd. “I’m sure Austin here isn’t the only one that is victim to unrequited love. Am I right?” A few people nodded, some even clapped. “Truth be told, cards on the table for you all to see. I am not a dating service. But I am a ‘you’ service. My job is to make you love yourself so fucking much that whoever it is you have in mind, whoever you wish to toss the covers back with – be it one night, or for the rest of your lives...! They won’t be able to resist you. Take Austin here for example.” He spun back on Austin; who’s eyes widened at having been addressed again. “You’re here because you love someone?”

  “Yes...”

  “Is it an ex or a new romance?”

  “An ex...” Austin said with a little more confidence. He could feel the room supporting him, and straightened up with it. “We used to date but... but he dumped me. And now...”

  “And now you’re finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning? To eat. To sleep. To breath. Am I right?”

  Austin nodded furiously.

  “We’ve all been there,” Finn said somberly. “We throw ourselves into these long-term commitments and give our partners everything they ask for. But in the process, we forget about the most important part of that relationship. We forget about us.” Finn paused for a moment and let his words sink over the crowd. He could feel them agreeing with him, he could feel them champing at the bit to sign with him. “Austin. How long were you and this Romeo together for?”

  “Three weeks,” Austin said without thinking.

  The moment he spoke, a few people laughed. Then some more. This was followed by furious whispers among a couple of men that were only a few feet away, which was then followed by more laughter and whispers.

  “Easy now,” Finn warned as the crowd began to shift. “One week, two weeks, three. It doesn’t matter. Love is love. Right, Austin?”

  Austin looked like he was about to pass out. The laughter at his announcement that he was in love after only a few weeks had caught him completely by surprise. Truth be told, the time frame caught Finn a little by surprise too.

  Austin half-stood like he was about to flee.

  “Austin, here are you -- don’t worry about them.”

  “It was more like a month,” Austin then defended. “And we spoke for a little before... before...” he looked nervously around the rooftop, choosing to focus on the one or two men that were still giggling and nudging one another. “I’ve got to go!” And then he was up.

  “Austin! Don’t—” Finn call. He went to chase after him, but stopped at the door. He wasn’t here for Austin; he was here for the seminar. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath.

  That had not gone at all how he had hoped. His goal had been to learn why Austin was there, use that as an example for why he needed Finn’s help so desperately, and then pivot to everyone else on the rooftop. And the fact that it was heartache that had brought Austin there? Unrequited love was the easiest tool to use to convince people to sign with him.

  Austin fleeing the rooftop before Finn was able to finish making his point was certainly not part of the plan. Finn just hoped the point he had been trying to make had still managed to land.

  “Well that was unexpected,” Finn joked as he turned back to face the rooftop. “I think he heard his mom calling him?” he shrugged it off with too much laughter. “Anyway, where was I?” Finn strolled back across the rooftop and toward the stage, using the few moments that took to regroup.


  Once back on that stage, and speaking to the crowd, Austin and his little interaction became a thing of the past. Finn started by choosing more confident looking men to prop up as examples. He then invited a few old clients up on the stage whom he had invited earlier, and they spoke about their own success. After that it was price listings, special features that only came with his course, and everything else he needed to get out in the open before the hour was up.

  All in all, it turned out to be a reasonably successful seminar. Finn signed up two men for a one-month course, and he was sure that two or three more would contact him in the next day or so, as usually happened. Really, it was about as good a seminar as he could have hoped.

  It was as Finn was exiting the rooftop about thirty minutes after the seminar ended, that he spotted a wallet, fallen on the floor and tucked behind a chair. He was quick to open it, seeing immediately that the wallet belonged to Austin Janssen-Dirk, of all people.

  Austin Janssen-Dirk. What an interesting guy. A few of the men had found it funny that Austin had fallen in love after only a few weeks of dating someone. Finn didn’t find it funny at all. In fact, he almost found it inspiring. Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine committing to someone so wholeheartedly, and in such a short amount of time.

  Truly, Finn wouldn’t have even minded asking Austin how he did it, how he gave himself to someone so readily and so completely. Just out of curiosity sake, if for nothing else.

  “Let’s see where you live,” Finn muttered as he flipped through the wallet.

  The address was about fifteen minutes away and Finn instantly decided that he’d be going there right now. Not only was it the right thing to do, but he also wanted to apologize to Austin for putting him on the spot earlier... and then maybe ask about that other thing too.

  Finn snapped the wallet closed, shoved it in his pocket and was about to hurry on off the rooftop when he froze dead. “Shit,” he cursed. He then checked the time and cursed again.

  It was six-thirty in the evening, and Finn had to be at Angela’s place to pick up Zac in exactly thirty minutes. Finn knew Angela too and if he was even one minute late, she’d slam the door in his face and use it as an excuse to keep Zac out of his life even more than he already was.