'Til There Was You

by Jerry Cole

  Finn bit into his lip in frustration. He should have left the wallet for the next day. But for some reason he really wanted to speak to Austin now. Yes, the was his apology, but there was also his question. How could someone fall in love so easily? Was it even possible?

  A snap decision and Finn decided he’s swing past Austin’s first, and then go see Zac. One was kind of on the way to the other, and if he was quick enough with Austin than surely, he’d make it. As far as Finn could see, there would be no reason for him to spend more than five minutes at Austin’s place. Max!

  Chapter Seven

  Austin had never been so embarrassed in his whole life. Never a big fan of being put on the spot, it was even worse when it ended in mocking laughter and ridicule. Seriously, it was like one of those dreams where you’re on stage in front of everyone you know only to suddenly realize that you’re naked. And sure, Austin hadn’t been naked this time... but he may as well have been.

  As Austin fled into his bedroom, he couldn’t get the sound of that laughter out of his head. It bounced around his skull, then it seemed to somehow escape and magnify throughout his room. Austin stood in the doorway, gaping in horror at his bedroom as the sounds of laughter built and built and enveloped him, as if trying to smother him to death.

  He hadn’t even wanted to go to that stupid seminar. It had been a spur of the moment thing, brought about by severe depression, his roommate hounding him, and the fact that he had nothing to lose.

  Had Finn Connor done that on purpose? He’d certainly singled him out on purpose. But was the mockery that came after a part of the plan, or did it just eventuate because Austin was such a loser? Honestly, Austin wouldn’t have been surprised either way.

  But Austin couldn’t hold it against Finn, Austin was to blame. And as he stood in his bedroom, looking at the various posters on the walls, photos of he and Freddy framed on the desk-top, and other bits and pieces from their relationship that he had refused to throw away, Austin realized that maybe the laughter and mockery were justified? Maybe, Austin did need to move on... or at least not be so darn obsessive!

  Acting quickly, Austin undressed into a pair of grey-sweatpants and a loose black t-shirt. Next, he put on some music; some new hip-hop he was listening too. He then started gathering everything in his bedroom that reminded him of Freddy. This was something he should have done weeks ago, but had refused. But now, in the moment, feeling as awful as he did, Austin capitalized. It was time to free himself of his past relationship and start afresh. Then he’d see who was laughing.

  It started with the photos. There were eight photographs of Freddy in his bedroom, and Austin quickly gathered them all and threw them into the middle of his room. Next it was the posters, two in particular. One was a poster of his favorite film, The Pirate Bride, which was also Freddy’s favorite. That would have to go, and so it did. Off the wall and onto the floor. The other was from a niche pirate movie called Donkey Island, an awful film that Austin and Freddy both loved... it too had to go.

  From there it was a matter of gathering up all the knick-knacks and smaller items that had some bearing on his relationship with Freddy. Some of them were easy to toss, like the stuffed animals they’d won together, or the odd piece of clothing. Others though, like the bobble head Man of Steel, he had no choice.

  Austin picked the man of Steel statue up, looking at it with regret. He really did love it... but it also reminded him of his first date with Freddy, the day he’d bought it. Did he really need to throw it away? Would that even help? … Doubt flooded through Austin, and soon he was wondering if the other things need to go. Surely not? Surely, this was all too extreme.

  The commitment that Austin had been feeling mere seconds ago was starting to fade. His grip on the statue was loosening. His desire to put everything back where it had been was strengthening... and then the doorbell rang, saving Austin from himself.

  “Coming!” Austin put the Man of Steel statue back down and hurried for the door. He was aware of how shabby he looked, and how his cock bounced around in his pants so obviously, but didn’t care. Caring was for people with a purpose.

  Austin threw the door open without checking who it was – an act that he immediately regretted. When the door swung open, his face dropped, his cheeks flushed and he was suddenly very, very thirsty.

  “Austin Janssen-Dirk,” Finn Connor beamed confidently on the other side of the door. “I thought I’d find you here.” He leaned against the doorway with an effortless coolness that Austin could only dream of having.

  “Ahhh...” Austin blinked and stared. “Yes...” he then managed.

  “I’m Finn Connor,” Finn continued pleasantly, as if not noticing how awkward Austin was acting. “We met earlier today. And the day before, actually.”

  “Yes—I mean, yes, I remember.” Austin shook his head and cleared his throat. “What are you doing here – I mean, why are you hear – I mean, I wasn’t expecting you.” He tried for a charming smile, but came off awkward.

  “I was in the area,” Finn continued. The way he leaned on the doorframe had him towering over Austin, looking like a mountain of a man. His tattoos were showing on his arm, his breath was minty and his scent was unfathomable. What a hunk! “Thought I’d say hello.”

  “Oh.” Austin blinked. “That’s... how did you know where I lived?”

  “Fate,” Finn said seriously. For a moment, he looked into Austin’s eyes and there was an intensity there that Austin couldn’t put his finger on. Fate? Was that really why he was here? What did that mean?! “That, and you left your wallet behind.” Finn whipped Austin’s wallet out. “Thought I’d drop it off.”

  Austin exhaled his relief. “Fuck,” he sighed and gingerly took the wallet from Finn. “I didn’t even realize... thanks,” he then offered. “You really didn’t have to.”

  “That’s totally cool,” Finn said. “Honestly, I wanted to say sorry too – about what happened at the seminar. That seriously, wasn’t my... what’s that?” Finn tilted his head slightly as if trying to hear something.

  “Huh?” Austin said stupidly.

  “Is that... is that Ally Ray?” Without asking, Finn walked right on past Austin and inside the apartment. “It is – how do you know Ally Ray?”

  Ally Ray was a Canadian hip-hop artist that Austin had recently discovered. He hadn’t even realized that he was playing his music, to be honest. He’d turned it on, but was so focused on what he was doing that he’d barely even noticed it.

  “How do you know Ally Ray?” Austin asked as he turned back into his apartment to address Finn, who was now gone. “Hello?”

  “In here!” Finn called out from the direction of Austin’s bedroom.

  Austin’s stomach dropped when he realized where Finn was. The fact that he was in his house was strange enough. But his bedroom! Austin sprinted through the apartment, hoping to God that he could stop him before he actually set foot in the room.

  “What are you—”

  “I can’t believe you know Ally Ray.” Finn was standing in the doorway, bobbing his head to the song that was playing. “Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who does. How’d you find him?”

  “Oh... just stumbled over him.” Austin wasn’t paying attention to the question. He was far more concentrated on Finn, standing in his doorway, not quite in his bedroom. Just behind Finn was the messy room, complete with the pile of things that reminded him of his ex. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the stuffed toys, mini film statues, and other pop-culture posters plastered across his wall were embarrassing enough. Austin had been told multiple times that his room was that of a teenage boy’s. Up until now he’d never really cared.

  “Crazy!” Finn exclaimed excitedly.

  “Yeah…say, do you want a drink of water?” Austin indicated back toward the apartment, away from his room. “I can get you—”

  “No way!” Finn was in the room now, eyes on the Pirate Bride poster scrunched up on the floor. “What are you doing wi
th this?!” He bent down and picked the poster up, holding it up to look at.

  “Throwing it away,” Austin said quickly. “Just trying to spruce the room up a little. Get some ah... some better decorations in here, you know – these are all old. I don’t really... yeah, they’re old.” He tried for a dismissive chuckle and a wave of the hand.

  “Dude, you cannot throw this out.”

  “Huh?”

  “The Pirate Bride! Come on – who has a Pirate Bride poster and throws it away?” Finn could not have looked more disgusted.

  “You... you like The Pirate Bride?” Austin frowned. “Really?”

  “Dude.” Finn turned his right arm so as to show the tattoo on the bottom of his forearm. When Austin saw it, his mouth literally fell open.

  “Is that... Enya Montanero’s rapier?” Austin half reached out as if to touch the tattoo – a clear outline of the sword from The Pirate Bride.

  “Duh,” Finn laughed. “And check this out.” He twisted his arm a little more, showing a tattoo of a coffee mug that had the quote “Gourmet Schmormet” printed on it.

  “Gourmet Schmormet...” Austin read out loud. It took him a second, but then he got it. “Oh! Pop Fiction!”

  “You know it.” Finn then indicated to the Pop Fiction poster on the wall. “But I shouldn’t be surprised – here, check these out!” Finn held both arms out now, showcasing a variety of tattoos that were all references to films and TV shows. “How many can you guess?”

  Austin was quick to get closer to Finn... just so he could see the tattoos of course. And of the twelve that were on his arm, Austin knew all of them. “What do you think?” He nodded his head around his room, indicating the plethora of pop-culture and movie posters hung up. If Austin weren’t so scared of needles, he’d probably have the exact same tattoos as Finn.

  “Hah! I knew it,” Finn laughed. “We need to get you some now, so after you throw all of this away, you’ll still have a little something to remind you of what it was like to have taste.”

  “Oh right...” Austin suddenly felt embarrassed. He had forgotten about the pile of ex-Freddy memorabilia in the room. “Yeah... I was just doing some cleaning,” he finished sheepishly.

  “I’m sure you were...” Finn eyed the pile. “Let me guess, throwing away everything that reminds you of your ex?”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “I’m just really smart,” he joked.

  “Among many things,” Austin joined in without thinking.

  “Oh yeah,” Finn smirked. “What else?”

  Austin’s eyes widened. “I—I mean... I don’t know what I... I was just being silly.”

  “I’m kidding, Austin.” Finn reached out and slapped Austin on the back. “I’m just teasing.”

  It felt like more than that. Now that the awkwardness was fading, Austin was almost sure he sensed something else. And although he didn’t want to be too presumptuous... it almost felt like the two were flirting.

  Austin took a half-step back, just so he could get a better look at Finn without it being too obvious. The man seriously was a piece of work. Tall, handsome, dressed in a casual suit with an effortless charm that made him that much sexier. Austin wondered if he was gay, then decided there was no way. But if he was...

  Despite himself, Austin snuck a quick peak at Finn’s package, but then immediately regretted it. He had forgotten that he was wearing sweatpants with no underwear. The moment his eyes landed on Finn’s crotch, he felt his own cock harden like it was made from cement. Austin also just happened to have a very large penis, which he was ordinarily very proud of, but was now mortified by.

  “Thanks for dropping off my wallet!” Austin basically shouted as he quickly sat down on his bed and crossed his legs. His cock was rock hard now, pushing against his pants like it was trying to escape. “I owe you.”

  “It’s fine, really.” Finn smirked to himself as he eyed Austin. And although Austin was sure he imagined it... for a second, it looked like his eyes drifted down to Austin’s erection. “I had to apologize anyway, so why not?”

  “It’s fine,” Austin continued quickly. “Really. If anything, it was good. I think maybe I was a little too hung up on my ex... hence the spring clean.”

  “Hence, you throwing out this work of art.” Finn held up the poster. “Which I have to say, is a crime unto itself.” His eyes flicked down to Austin’s package again, and again Austin felt himself harden.

  “Well, you know...” Austin shrugged. He had no idea what to say, but knew he needed Finn out of his apartment ASAP. His boner wasn’t going anywhere, not while he was around, and he’d need to take care of the darn thing before it started to ache.

  Finn nodded his head to himself as his eyes moved around the bedroom. There was a moment of silence as Finn observed the piles of clothes on the floor, the dirty plates and cups, the stuffed toys and other things that Austin was now feeling beyond embarrassed at having in his room. It really was a child’s room and Austin had never been more aware.

  “You really liked him, huh?” Finn suddenly asked. He was eyeing the pile of ex-Freddy items, so his implication could not have been clearer.

  “I thought I did,” Austin shrugged.

  “Not anymore?” Finn furrowed his brow as he swung his attention onto Austin.

  Austin could feel his cheeks turning red and he stared furiously at his own feet. “I mean... how much can you really like someone after only a few weeks?”

  “Huh.” Finn nodded his understanding, but he didn’t look away from Austin. If anything, his stare grew more intense. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “All right.”

  “What do you do for work?”

  “Oh... nothing, really.”

  “Nothing?” Finn raised an eyebrow at Austin.

  “I work in retail,” Austin answered sheepishly. “But only a few days a week.”

  “And nothing else?” Finn pressed.

  “My parents are pretty well off,” Austin explained for reasons he couldn't comprehend. He just didn’t want Finn thinking he was some sort of poor loser... even though he was. “So, they cover the rent for me. It’s not a bad gig.” He cursed under his breath. What a dumb thing to say.

  “What if I told you that you could keep these posters, and these pictures, and probably get your ex back while doing it?” Finn had stopped looking around the room and was now solely focused on Austin. The intensity at which he looked at him made Austin sweat... and made his balls ache.

  “It sounds great!” Austin blurted. He could barely think.

  “I’m going to be brutally honest – may I?” He indicated to the spot on the bed beside where Austin was sitting with his legs crossed. Austin nodded nervously, then scurried a little further down, careful to hide his boner. Finn took a seat and continued. “Your life is a mess. Like... fuck me.”

  Yes, please, Austin wanted to say. “Fair,” he opted for instead.

  “And you say that your ex left you a few weeks ago?”

  “Yep,” he nodded quickly.

  “When you two were together... was anything in your personal life different? Your work? Your bedroom? Your... anything, really? Or was it just as it is now... but without the regular sex?”

  Austin chuckled coldly to himself. “The same,” he admitted. “I’m... I'm in a bit of a rut, you might say.”

  “I didn’t come here to try and sell you,” Finn said earnestly. “But now that I’m here... dude, you need me.”

  “Huh?” Austin blinked. He’d heard what he had said, but that phrase had limitless implications. Most of which had his cock getting even harder.

  “My services.” Finn clapped his hands and stood up. “Look, it’s easy to throw away all your old shit and hope it changes things. But it doesn’t. That’s just fact. Do you know what the easiest way is to change your life?”

  Austin shook his head.

  “To actually change it – and I know, easier said than done. But that’s where I come in. Give me one mon
th, Austin. One month of one on one classes with you and I promise that not only will you get your ex back, but you’ll get your life back. The Austin in one month from now will look at this Austin and actually laugh at how far he has come. He might even cry.” Finn was staring right into Austin’s eyes now, almost hypnotizing him with those baby blues.

  “One month?” Austin asked.

  “One month. Seriously, you say you want your ex back? I can make it happen. Do you want your ex back, Austin?”

  In this moment, Austin could barely even think about Freddy. But he nodded his head anyway and said, “I do.”

  “Then you need me, Austin. You really, really need me.”

  Austin was inclined to agree. Not only was he finding it very hard in the moment to say no to Finn, but everything that he said sounded right. He wanted Freddy back. He didn’t want to throw away all his things. And he wanted to get his life in order. If what Finn claimed he could do was true... then why not?

  Also, and this could not be emphasized enough, Austin really needed to get Finn out of his apartment. He was still hard, was getting hornier by the moment, and didn’t want to do or say anything else that might embarrass him. So it best to agree now and then decide later if he would stick to it.

  “I’m going to hold you to it,” Finn declared when Austin agreed to hire him. “Seriously, don’t think you can cancel when I leave.”

  “I won’t,” Austin assured him from the safety of his bed. “I promise.”

  “Good.” Finn strolled to the doorway, turned back and held The Pirate Bride poster back out to Austin. “You can keep this, by the way. Like I said, you don’t have to throw it out.”

  “Right. Thanks.” Austin half stood and leaned forward to snatch the poster. He then quickly sat back down.

  “All right, I’ll email you later with details, then we can sort dates, times, yada, yada. All the boring stuff, all right. Trust me, Austin. This is good.”