'Til There Was You

by Jerry Cole

  “Fuuuuuuuck.” Austin’s knees buckled where he stood.

  “Sit down,” Finn commanded.

  Austin didn’t argue. Pants off, he was quick to remove his shirt and take a seat on the nearby couch. Finn had never been a fan of skinny bodies, but on Austin it worked. From his pure white skin, to his tiny pink nipples to that large girthy cock now resting on his stomach, he was perfect.

  Finn licked his lips and dropped to his knees. Ordinarily, giving a blowjob was a process for Finn. He liked to work toward it with plenty of kissing, stroking and biting. Ordinarily, he liked to have his partner begging for him to suck their cock, pleading for it! But with Austin, the desire was too strong.

  He pushed Austin back so he was leaning with his erect penis sticking right up. It literally throbbed it was so hard and just the smallest amount of precum seeped from the head. Finn licked his lips, winked at Austin and then wrapped his mouth around the head and started to suck.

  “God!” Austin moaned and ran his hands through Finn’s hair. “God... Jesus! That is... that is... don’t fucking stop!”

  Finn had no intention.

  Austin’s piece was such that Finn was able to wrap his hand around the base and slowly stroke him, all while licking up and down the sides and over the head. He wrapped his lips on the tip and stuck his tongue in Austin’s hole while simultaneously massaging his big, juicy balls. He could feel how full they were and could not wait to have it over his face later.

  Really, he couldn’t get over the way that Austin was reacting. His entire body seized and spasmed as Finn worked him. He groaned, moaned, yelped and pleaded as Finn licked and sucked and massaged and spat. It was a messy blowjob, the kind given in the heat of passion with no rules or regulations. It was the kind given when two men were so fucking turned on that they couldn’t help themselves.

  But the blowjob was only the beginning.

  When Finn could feel Austin getting close, he stopped. Austin pleaded for him to keep going, but Finn refused. Instead, he pulled Austin to his feet, turned him around and then bent him over the couch. With his knees on the cushion and his elbows up on the backrest, Finn was able to admire what was actually a nice little bubble butt for a man so skinny; soft creamy skin, just a little peach fuzz and a very nice shape.

  “Yummy,” Finn purred as he ran his hand over Austin’s smooth behind.

  “Wh... what are you going to do?” Austin asked, his voice trembling with desire.

  “You know.”

  Ordinarily, Finn liked a little more foreplay. He wanted Austin on his knees, sucking his cock. But he also wanted to fuck the shit out of Austin. He wanted to take him right here and now, to be inside him, to shove his face into the back of Austin’s head as he pounded him for all he was worth. He wanted more foreplay, but he wanted Austin more.

  Not that it mattered. As Finn pulled a condom out of his pocket, dropped his pants and rolled the condom over the tip of his penis, he predicted that this wouldn’t be the last time the two men slept together. And as he got in nice and close to the now trembling Austin, and as he slowly slipped his rock-hard cock into Austin’s tight asshole, he decided that this definitely wouldn’t be the last time.

  Finn took Austin right there, on the couch. He grabbed him by the back of the hair, he yanked his head back, he bit into his ears and neck and shoulders, all the while thrusting long, hard thrusts.

  Austin yelped. Austin moaned. Austin begged for more. And eventually, Finn came.

  When it was all said and done, the two men retired to the bedroom. Both naked, both exhausted, and both fully satisfied, Finn lay down first and then Austin crawled up into his arms. And there he stayed, wrapped up, nice and snug, a perfect fit for Finn. Only... was it?

  In the moment, Finn had loved it. In the moment, Finn had known it was right. In the moment, Finn had been fantasizing about how much sex the two men were probably going to be having. It had all been perfect, until right now.

  And the problem wasn’t anything obvious, or something that Austin had done. It was just... a little off. Austin kissed Finn softly on the cheek as he snuggled into him and drifted off to sleep, and although it was sweet and just a little cute, Finn didn’t know how he felt about it. Finn had never been much for sleeping with someone more than once, and it was clear that this is what Austin wanted. But what did Finn want?

  Finn had no idea. But now that he had cum and was no longer turned on, he was forced to ask a very serious question. Had Finn just made a huge mistake?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Austin got little sleep that night. Oh sure, a very large part of it was to do with the beyond incredible sex that he’d had with Finn and how hard it was to scrub from his mind. Like, God-damn it was good. Good didn’t even do it justice, truth be told. It was heaven, magical, beyond even Austin’s wildest expectations. And it wasn’t just how good the sex was either, but how right it felt. For those hours the two were entwined in one another, nothing else in the world seemed to matter. Everything was perfect.

  But then it ended.

  Almost the moment after the sex finished, Finn transformed. His body stiffened, his movements became rigid and he turned as cold as a dead fish. Austin had always been a cuddler, especially after sex, but Finn made that impossible. He shuffled to the other side of the bed, turned his back on Austin and went right to sleep. Although Austin tried not to show it, it actually hurt a little... and a little more than that.

  But he told himself not to worry. Maybe Finn didn’t like to spoon? Maybe Finn was always like that? The sex... the night itself... everything was too perfect for Finn to just turn on him so suddenly. Surely, he was just reading into it.

  Even once he managed to half-convince himself that he was reading in to it, it didn’t help much. Austin tossed and turned that night. He woke every hour, hoping to find Finn closer to him. He played their night over in his head, trying to find the exact moment everything changed. He lay there, awake, sweating nervously, praying that come morning all of this would be in his head and Finn would be back to how he was previously. God, how he hoped!

  Austin did end up falling asleep. But he only knew this because when he woke up and saw it was morning, he turned over and hoped to give Finn a good morning kiss... and maybe something else. But when he did, Finn was gone. The bedroom was empty. And Austin’s heart cracked in two.

  “Finn?!” Austin called out. “Are you—”

  “The kitchen!” Finn called back.

  “Oh...” Austin said to himself. Again, he was probably reading into it, but Finn sounded distant. The way he said “kitchen” wasn’t at all inviting, like he was trying to warn Austin away. “I’ll be one minute!”

  “All right!” Short and to the point. This was not good.

  Austin ducked into the bathroom before heading to the kitchen. This was the make or break moment for him. What happened this morning would determine whether he was just another notch above Finn’s bedpost, or something more. Thank God he actually looked half decent. His haircut leant itself to the bed-head look, and his porcelain white skin always looked better in the morning. But still, he washed his mouth out, splashed some water on his face, stole a little spray of deodorant, and only then did he wander out to see his lover.

  “Hey.” Austin tried for cool and casual as he strode into the kitchen. His heart thumped so hard against his chest he was sure that Finn would be able to hear it.

  “Hey,” Finn said back without looking. He was cooking eggs... two eggs only, and seemed to be in his own world.

  Ordinarily, Austin would have liked to have gone up, wrapped his arms around him and given him a kiss. Maybe gotten him hard and tried for a little morning delight? Basically, let him know that last night wasn’t a one off. But the way Finn was standing, the mental barrier he’d erected between the two, held Austin at bay.

  Austin took a seat at the kitchen counter instead, doing his best to not look upset... even though his stomach was collapsing in on itself. “How’d you sleep?�
�� he asked lamely.

  “Like a log,” Finn responded plainly. “You?”

  “Good... good,” Austin lied. Fuck, it was awkward. “You’re making breakfast?”

  “I’m sorry.” Finn forced a grimace. “I didn’t know if you’d be awake... and I didn’t want to wake you. I only made enough for myself...” He indicated to the two lone eggs frying in the pan, and then the single slice of toast beside it.

  “That’s fine,” Austin lied quickly. “I’m not hungry, anyway.”

  Finn may as well have been wearing a shirt that said, ‘leave now, never come back.’ That’s how obvious he was being. Austin had known Finn was a bit of a player, but never ever did he think this would apply to him. For some reason, some idiotic, stupid, moronic reason, he had assumed that he was different, that last night was...

  Austin didn’t want to think about it. As he sat there at the kitchen bench, watching Finn make breakfast for one while doing everything in his power to not look at him, Austin tried to comprehend not just how he had been such a fool... but what he was going to do now. He was hurting. He was aching. He was angry. So many things! And all he wanted was a little reassurance from Finn.

  But Finn wasn’t giving it. The man may as well have been on another planet for the way he was acting. And it wasn’t so much rude as it was apathetic. It was like Austin didn’t exist. And honestly, that stung more than anything else. Austin had opened himself up, allowed himself to feel, and this was what he got for it.

  “So...” Austin started, not knowing where he would go from there. Thank God that at that exact moment his phone buzzed with a message. Austin could have kissed it!

  “Who’s that?” Finn asked automatically, but again without looking.

  Austin didn’t respond right away. Rather, he read and then re-read the message, not sure that he was reading it right... or that it was even for him.

  “Well?” Finn pressed.

  “It’s Freddy... my ex.” Austin’s eyes flicked to Finn, hoping to see a reaction, an indication that this might hit Finn a certain way. It did not. “He wants to grab lunch today.”

  “Oh yeah?” He may as well have been a robot.

  “Yeah.”

  Austin had completely forgotten about Freddy. He’d seen him yesterday in the park, but had basically snubbed him. It was something he would have never thought he’d be able to do, but had done so easily. Freddy had been out, Finn had been in. But that was yesterday.

  “Are you going to go?” Finn served up his breakfast then took a seat as far from Austin as possible.

  “I don’t know.” Austin reread the message.

  “You should,” Finn said quickly. He then coughed and spoke a little more directly, “I mean, it’ll be good for you. With how far you’ve come... your goal was to get Freddy back, right?”

  Austin had never been a crier, but in that moment, he could have wept for days. “Right,” he managed. Honestly, he wanted to throw his fucking phone right at Finn’s face. Was he serious?!?!

  “Then go,” Finn nodded. “As your teacher, I command it.” He finished with a cheeky grin, but then he quickly looked down to his plate of food and shoveled as much into his mouth as he could.

  All Finn had to do was give Austin some indication, the smallest sign that this wasn’t a one-night stand, that he had some level of feelings for him. A smile. A wink. A little playful banter. Something! If he had done that, then Austin would have told Freddy to take his lunch invite and shove it where the sun don’t shine. But Austin got nothing from Finn. Less than nothing.

  “Fine,” Austin agreed acidly. “I will.”

  “Good,” Finn agreed. “I told you... self-improvement is the key.”

  “So wise.”

  And that was that. Austin didn’t hang around for much longer, just long enough to confirm plans with Freddy so that Finn could hear. It was petty, and probably had zero effect on him, but it was all Austin could do. And then, he left.

  It was a kiss on the cheek at the door, with a “see you next week,” from Finn. He meant their lesson too, with no indication that he’d see him outside of that. The door slammed closed in Austin’s face and he had to resist the urge to kick it in. It was amazing how a perfect night could turn so quickly into a horrid morning. If Austin were at home right now, he would have curled into a ball and burst into tears. Fuck, he just might anyway. Who even cared anymore?

  ***

  “… you know me, Austin, I’m impetuous – always wanting what I can’t have. I didn’t mean it. Truly, I didn’t.” Freddy didn’t even try and sound sorry when he explained to Austin why he had left him for Charles. If anything, he tried to make it sound like one big joke.

  “So, Charles was...?”

  “What I can’t have – you know I’ve always had an alpha-male obsession, Austin. I never would have dreamed that I stood a chance with him.” Freddy sat forward, elbows leaning on the table, chin rested under his folded hands, eyes fluttering like he was looking all cute. He wasn’t.

  “And I was...?”

  “The one.” Freddy reached out and took Austin by the hand. Austin was too shocked to say anything. “I made a mistake, Austin. An idiotic, stupid, moronic, and all those other words, mistake. Surely, I can have a second chance. You owe me that.” He then kissed the back of Austin’s hand... a slimy, grotesque kiss that actually felt as if it were burning the skin.

  “Huh...” Austin didn’t yank his hand away in disgust. Nor did he melt under Freddy’s relentless flirting and give in to his ex. Rather, he stared at Freddy – from his blading scalp to that frustrating dimple in his chin and down to his silly purple jacket – all while wondering to himself how he had ever found this man so attractive in the first place.

  It was almost a relief really, when Austin had walked into the restaurant for lunch, spotted Freddy, and felt ill at the sight of him. A small part had worried that now with Finn seemingly out of the picture, Austin would revert back to his old ways and fall head over heels for his ex. Literally one second in and that proved to not be the case.

  This was made all too easy by how repugnant a person Freddy actually was. When Austin reached him and went for a cheek kiss, Freddy warned Austin not to touch his new silk shirt because the oils on his fingers might damage it. And when the waitress then popped up to take their order, Freddy snapped at her for being too eager and to give them a minute. And when they did finally start to talk, the conversation, of course, revolved entirely around Freddy and everything Freddy related.

  “You’ve probably noticed I’m in better shaped than when we were last together. Pilates!” he gushed.

  “I can’t tell you how good this new diet is. You get to eat whatever you want and still lose weight – maybe you should try it. Yes, yes, you’re skinny. But look how good I look.” He waxed on as he indicated to his figure.

  “Work is fab, of course! Remember how I was always telling you how hopeless everyone in the office is. Well, my idiot boss finally figured it out too because I’m pretty sure that I’m in line for a promotion!” he carried on without Austin having to even ask.

  It was all Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. And really, Austin didn’t know why this surprised him, because that’s how it had always been. As Freddy rambled about this or that, Austin was struck by vivid flashbacks of when they were together. At the time, he had loved listening to Freddy talk. Now he found it boring.

  Honestly, the only reason that Austin didn’t hate himself for coming to this lunch in the first place was that it shone a spotlight on how much Austin had changed. He had always thought that Freddy was settling with him. Now he knew it to be the other way around. Freddy had little to nothing going for him. Austin... well, Austin had long since outgrown the man.

  “But mistakes happen!” Freddy reached forward and took Austin’s hand again. He had just finished explaining why he wasn’t to blame for leaving Austin, and was now transitioning into how it was probably a good thing and that Austin should just be happy. “What’s importa
nt is how we bounce back from them. Together.” He kissed the back of Austin’s hand again.

  “Mistakes?” Austin pushed his tongue into his cheek. He wanted to shout. He wanted to yell. He wanted to say all manner of things, but stopped himself. “Is that all it was?”

  “Oh, don’t start.” Freddy let go of Austin’s hand and shuffled back in his seat in exaggeration. “Honestly, you should almost be thanking me – look how good you look. Tell me, would that have happened if I hadn’t left you?” He raised an eyebrow at Austin.

  “No, it wouldn’t have,” Austin said simply.

  “Exactly!” Freddy beamed. He then shuffled forward again and battered his eyelashes. “See, everything turned out for the best. Now, where is that silly waitress?” Freddy perked up and started looking around the restaurant for the waitress. Already, Austin could seem him getting frustrated and already he was readying himself for a ‘scene.’ Freddy loved scenes. Austin hated them.

  What was he doing here? Seriously. When he saw Freddy in the park yesterday, he’d felt nothing for him. Less than nothing. Yet even still, here he was, sitting through what might end up being the worst date of all time. And for what? Austin had no... actually, Austin knew exactly why he was here. He just didn’t like to think about it.

  “So, while we wait for the world’s slowest waitress...” Freddy swiveled back in his chair and turned his full attention on Austin. “Tell me, who was that hunk I saw you with in the park – come now, I won’t get jealous.”

  Austin didn’t want to talk about it. Oh God, how he didn’t want to talk about it. Even thinking about it sent a sharp stabbing pain to his gut, while simultaneously squeezing his heart until the blood literally stopped pumping. It was more than he could bear. But it was also impossible to not think about. It had only happened a few hours ago, and it was the sole reason that Austin was here in the first place. What a day!