'Til There Was You

by Jerry Cole

  And those two weeks flew by too. Finn got a bunch of work done, caught up with old friends, saw Zac a little more and had some needed time himself. Honestly, the break was nice. But those two weeks then turned into a month and that was when things started going downhill.

  “For how long?” Finn had blurted by mistake when Austin had told him some two weeks earlier that he would be staying in America a little while longer.

  “I’m not sure,” Austin had answered hurriedly. He sounded rushed, even panicked.

  “How can you not be—”

  “I only just found out about it,” Austin had cut him off. “Michael only just found out about it.”

  “And Michael couldn’t tell you any more?” Finn had asked acidly, making sure to emphasize the name ‘Michael’ with malice.

  “Yes,” Austin had sighed. “He couldn’t -- but he will. And when he does, I’ll let you know. I reckon two more weeks, tops.”

  “Just the two weeks?” Finn had then pressed, doing his best to sound both cute and supportive... whatever that might sound like.

  “Just the two more. I promise.”

  “Shit.” Finn suddenly moaned. “I completely forget our trip with Zac,” Finn had then started. “It’s on the twenty-first which is sixteen days from—”

  “Hey, what did I tell you,” Austin cut him off. “I’ll be back by then. I promise.”

  “All right,” Finn had finished. “I can’t wait to see you.”

  That was two weeks ago, and finally things were starting to change. For two weeks it had been anarchy for Austin. With each new bookstore visited, the sales went up which meant more bookstores which meant more sales which meant more bookstores. This surge of sales had threatened to extend the trip indefinitely, which terrified Finn beyond belief.

  “Nine days,” Finn had warned Austin when he told him that more stores were being added to the tour. “Me and Zac are leaving in nine days and you better be—”

  “If I’m not there, babe, you have my permission to... to... I don’t know!” Austin had exclaimed jokingly. “I’ll be there.”

  “I hope so.”

  The trip that Finn had been referring to was one that he and Austin had planned with Zac over a month ago, and one that all three of them were looking forward to immensely. At least Finn and Zac were. Finn honestly wasn’t sure about Austin anymore.

  Since Zac’s birthday, Finn and he had grown closer than ever. So close in fact that Finn had worked up the courage to ask Angela if he could take Zac away for an entire weekend.

  “And where to exactly?” Angela had asked skeptically.

  “Boy’s trip,” Finn had answered sarcastically, before seeing Angela’s expression and responding with a far more serious, “Movie World on the Gold Coast.”

  Since the three men had started watching the Marvel films together, that was all they could talk about. As such, Finn figured it would be a good idea for them to go to a theme park heavily influenced by the films. They couldn’t live in the Marvel Universe, so a movie related theme park was the next best thing. Lucky too that Australia had just the place.

  Movie World was a nine-hour drive north from where Finn lived, which also made it a perfect weekend getaway. They booked the trip shortly before Austin’s book tour was organized, and were all relieved to find out it wouldn’t be affected by it. In fact, he was supposed to be home weeks before they were scheduled to leave. Then the trip got extended and timing became tight. But all the while, Austin was adamant he would be home in time.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Finn wanted to believe this. He really did. And when Austin had told him he was coming home, scheduled to arrive literally the day before their trip started, he breathed a sigh of relief heard around the world. All he needed now was a call of confirmation. Tomorrow afternoon, Austin was supposed to be coming back... supposed to. This entire trip had been a slew of changed plans, extensions and last-minute bookings. Nothing was sure until it was, and that included his coming home.

  All Finn needed was that call. A quick chat to let him know he was at the airport and about to board. That was all! But nothing. Not a peep. This in turn had Finn panicking that the plans had changed, which then had him wondering why they had changed, which then had him thinking about Michael... oh yes, it always came back to Michael.

  Finn had only met the guy once, and he had seemed nice enough too. But that was probably the point. The dude was handsome, and charming, and funny, and successful and was spending every waking moment with Finn’s boyfriend.

  And it wasn’t that Finn didn’t trust Austin. Because he did, with all his heart. He knew how Austin felt about him, and he knew how he felt about Austin. But that wasn’t the problem. It was Michael who he didn’t trust. The guy was a sleaze, and Finn knew this because he used to be just like him: a fuckboy through and through. Even if Austin did everything he could to resist him, time, alcohol and loneliness were working against him.

  It was just then that Finn’s phone started to ring. He leapt forward to pick it up only to see that it was his son calling, not Austin. Finn froze with his hand outstretched. His stomach dropped and for the first time maybe ever, he wished his son weren’t calling. Fuck, he actually got angry about it! He glared at his son’s name, wanting it to stop so he’d free the line for Austin. What was wrong with him!

  Finn never used to be this way. There was a time not so long ago where the very thought of waiting around for his partner to ring on a Saturday afternoon was laughable. There was a time not so long ago where if the man he was seeing didn’t call, Finn would simply pick up his phone and call another. There was a time not so long ago when this would’ve never been a thing.

  The phone was mocking Finn now. Laughing at him! He picked it up and saw that it was now five o’clock! It was exactly one hour after Austin was meant to call. Not even a call. A text would have been fine! What could he possibly be doing that he couldn’t even send a text?

  Finn didn’t want to know. In fact, Finn didn’t even care anymore. He was angry. He was upset. He was jealous. He was raging. He was everything he shouldn’t be, because he knew it would lead to bad decisions. And that’s because it did. Without another thought, or any fear of the consequences, Finn jumped up, grabbed his keys and wallet and headed for the door. He was going out for a drink. And as for Austin? He could go fuck himself for all Finn cared.

  ***

  “... basically, I’m like Mitch. Have you ever seen that movie, Mitch?” Finn asked drunkenly. He was already slurring his words; one eyelid was starting to feel heavy, and as he spoke, he moved his hand about wildly, which led to some of his drink being spilled. But he didn’t care.

  “The one with John Totter?” Finn didn’t know what the guy’s name was, but he was tall, broad in the shoulders and chest and had a chin that looked like it was carved from granite.

  “That’s the one.” Finn punched the guy playfully on the shoulder. “The date doctor. Mitchhhhhhh.” Finn then tried for a wink as he took a sip – a slurp – of his vodka lime and soda. How many he’d had; he had no idea. But he knew he was going to have another.

  “Just dating? Or does that extend to ah.... other areas.” The guy with the granite chin smirked suggestively as he looked Finn up and down. There could only be one thing on his mind, and Finn knew exactly what it was.

  “Oh... it covers everything.” Finn threw back the rest of his drink and slammed the empty glass down on the table. “Everything.”

  Finn didn’t know what the name of the bar was. It was somewhere in Surry Hills, not too far from where he lived. He had wandered in off the street, desperate to have just one drink to calm himself down before he went and picked up his son. But that one drink went down a little too easily, so he had another and then another. It was around this time the bar started to fill up... and so, he stayed.

  At first, he just sat at the bar and talked to whoever would listen. The bartender was nice enough, and she nodded along as he waxed o
n about long-distance relationships and fuckboys named Michael. But once she became busy, he moved on to the patrons. A few listened, some ignored and then eventually he stumbled onto the man with the granite chin.

  What was he doing?! He didn’t even know. But somehow Finn had slipped back into fuck boy territory. And so easily too. Flirting was like riding a bike and Finn was off and riding.

  Truthfully though, he had no actual intention of cheating. God no! Even in his state, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. The thought alone made him sick. But so did thinking of Michael and Austin together, and this helped, so he kept at it. It was just nice to know that he could still go out and get laid if he had to, that Austin didn’t have all the power here.

  “So, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, what’s you name ag—” Finn stopped mid-sentence when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was quick to pull it out and see that Angela was calling him. He rolled his eyes and cancelled the call. “Your name. What was your name?”

  He didn’t want to see Zac either. But that was because he was in a bad mood. He only saw Zac when he was in a good mood and if he hung out with him now, then surely that would ruin everything... it was loose logic. And faulty logic. But again, Finn didn’t care.

  “Antwon,” the man with the granite chin said. “It’s Antwon. But you can call me a cab... tomorrow morning, I mean.”

  “Ah.” Finn waved his finger in front of Antwon’s face. “Cheeky, Antwon. Lines like that will get you every....” Finn trailed off as he looked over Antwon’s shoulder and spotted someone he recognized. Heck, someone he knew! “Hold that thought.”

  Finn didn’t so much as glance at Antwon as he pushed past the guy and strode across the bar. He didn’t really care if it was rude or not. Honestly, he didn’t care about much.

  “Cassidy!” Finn shouted when he was halfway over. “What are you doing here!”

  Cassidy was with a group of friends, but the sight of Finn in the bar, alone and wasted, had him stepping out from his circle to greet Finn. He half-hugged, half-led him toward a spare table as he greeted him with a, “Finn? You look... terrible, if I am being completely honest.”

  “Hah!” Finn threw his head back and barked a laugh. “Well I feel great.” Then, a terrible idea came to Finn’s head, one so awful that the moment he thought on it, he knew he should have squashed it and put it to bed. But he didn’t. “Not nearly as good as you look though.”

  Cassidy was by no means an attractive man. He was short, a little round and balding. His facial features were also exaggerated, and he dressed ridiculously at all times – bright and over the top. But he was also as single as they came, loved a one-night stand, and was known to make bad decisions. He was perfect.

  “Ah, thanks...” Cassidy said. He pushed his lips together and furrowed his brow. “Are you all right though, Finn? You seem... not yourself.”

  “I’m the best I’ve ever been,” Finn lied. “Why else would I be here?”

  “I’m guessing it has something to do with Austin being away for so—”

  “Pffffttt, I don’t want to talk about him.” Finn reached for his drink, but then remembered he didn’t have one. So instead he traipsed his fingers along Cassidy’s collar. “I’d much rather talk about you,” he finished with a wink.

  Cassidy was quick to grab Finn’s fingers and push them away. “I don’t think that’s a very smart idea.”

  “I’m all about making silly choices at the moment.” A wink from Finn and what he assumed to be a seductive expression. “Won’t you join me?”

  “Ahhhhh....” Cassidy could not have looked more put out, and disgusted for that matter. He curled his nose, furrowed his brow and looked at Finn with absolute disdain. “Finn, you need to stop being gross. Let me get you a water.” Cassidy was quick to dart away from Finn and head to the bar. Maybe he was getting a water? Maybe he was just putting some distance between the two.

  It was around that point however when it hit Finn. What the fuck was he doing? Getting drunk was one thing. Even flirting with randoms was something he could forget about. But hitting on his boyfriend’s roommate, and for no reason other than he was here and Finn was upset... some twisted attempt to hurt Austin. It was sick.

  The whole scene washed over Finn like a tidal wave and all of a sudden, he felt completely sober, and sick. He looked across the bar for Cassidy, who was now pouring a glass of water. He then put his head down in shame and ran from the bar, as if putting as much distance between that place and himself would wash away anything he had done.

  Once free from the bar he hurried back to his apartment as quick as his feet would take him. There he collapsed onto his bed, still fully clothed, trying his best to forget everything he had just done. He wanted to forget it all! He wanted to forget how he felt. He wanted to forget the look on Cassidy’s face at what he had been trying. And most of all, he wanted to forget Austin. This was why he hated relationships, because they were purposefully designed to hurt.

  Finn had been at his happiest with Austin. But now he was at his worst. As he shoved his head into his pillow, on the verge of tears, he had to ask himself if it was all worth it. And honestly, he wasn’t even sure if it was. He needed Austin to be home tomorrow afternoon, no matter what. If he weren’t, Finn wasn’t sure what would happen.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s true, honey.”

  “I just don’t... he was hitting on you?”

  “Undoubtedly. And believe me, I know. I’ve had enough drunk men come on to me... and vice versa, truth be told, to know a come on when I see one. And, babe, he was coming at me like a bull at a red flag.”

  “But that doesn’t make any sense.”

  “These things hardly ever do, I’m afraid. They hardly ever...” A pause on the other end of the line before, “Babe, I’m sorry. I really am. I thought... In thought he was one of the good ones.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Austin was literally on his way to the airport when Cassidy called him. It had been so unexpected too, seeing as Austin had spoken to the man less than a day ago. What he had assumed was that the conversation would be about some guy Cassidy picked up in a bar, and all the sordid details that went with that story. Funnily enough actually, it almost was.

  “Are you all right?” Michael was sitting in the taxi beside Austin, looking him over with concern. He’d been texting on his phone, but when he heard how Austin sounded, he paused. “You look like you’ve just been told Santa Clause isn’t real.”

  “Yeah...” Austin was staring blankly out the taxi window, unable to fathom what he had just been told. It couldn’t be real... could it? “I’m fine,” he then said quickly and gave his head a shake. “Nothing -- just housemate drama.”

  “Ah, fair enough.” Michael went back to his phone, nodding his understanding. “Well the good news is that this tour went so fucking well that you can afford to live by yourself now. Halleluiah.”

  The book tour was over with and finally, Austin was on his way back to Australia. And thank God for that too. This tour had been so random, sporadic and ever changing that a part of him had feared Michael was going to walk into his room moments before they left and told him they had to stay for another two weeks. It didn’t come to that, but Austin wouldn’t have been surprised.

  “What a tour!” Michael had ended up beaming his pleasure instead. “Seriously, that wave came and you rode it all the way. More than anyone at New World could have imagined.”

  It had been a success too. Austin’s sales were through the roof, both domestically and internationally. He’d spent just over a month in the United States, travelling, working and touring. He’d met hundreds of people, signed even more autographs than that and helped push his book toward a number of sales he could have never dreamed. Finally, Austin was a successful author, and he could not agree more that it was time to go home. At least that was how he had felt until about a minute ago.

&n
bsp; Austin had missed his scheduled call with Finn. Every day since he had landed in America, he’d called Finn at the exact same time. Sometimes it was a long chat, other times it was so short all he could say was ‘Hello, I miss you,” before hanging up. But regardless, they’d gotten it done. Tonight was different.

  It was all such a rush. Michael had wanted to leave everything to the last minute, in case the tour got extended. As such, Austin was unable to call Finn with a confirmation he was coming home, which meant he didn’t want to call him at all. He figured he may as well wait until the new was good. But then the plan to return home was solidified and the rush began.

  It was all so manic that Austin had been unable to get in contact with Finn. And when he had eventually been able to, Finn didn’t even pick up. Austin had just figured it was because of the time difference, and that maybe he was a little peeved that Austin had missed their scheduled call.

  All he’d been able to do instead was send a text message that confirmed he was indeed on his way home, and hope Finn would be there. If not, he told Finn he’d just grab a taxi and see him later on. Now he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

  It was moments after he sent that text that Cassidy had called. Clearly a little more than just drunk, he quickly launched into a tale of how he’d just bumped into Finn at a bar and how Finn had tried to pick him up. It was a lie. It had to be a lie. There was no way it couldn’t be a lie.

  To make matters worse, there wasn’t much that Austin could do about it. Not long after his call with Cassidy ended, the taxi pulled up at the airport. From there it was a rush to check in and get to the gate before the flight took off. They made it, but barely. And then once they were on the plane, it was phones off... for six whole hours.

  And it only got worse from there. When the plane landed at Los Angeles Airport, it was more running, more panic, more shouting and pushing people out of the way as Austin and Michael sprinted – and prayed – for their connecting flight to Sydney. That one they made only by the grace of God himself... and even with him on their side, it was a struggle.