Greystone Alpha

by Alyssa Jacobs

  “I know I don’t completely understand wolf shifter culture, but I wish pack law was different since it’s the only way for us to be mated.”

  Tanner cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. It was a small, almost imperceptible movement, but something Addie caught nonetheless.

  She narrowed her eyes. He wasn’t telling her something.

  “What are you thinking about? Don’t hold out on me. We just had a good moment. We’re practically best friends now, Tanner.” She said with a joking elbow jab to his side.

  Tanner’s back tensed. He ducked his gaze away from Addie and cleared his throat.

  Addie’s heart dropped to her stomach. Something was wrong. “Tanner, changing pack law is the only way I can be Jason’s mate, right?” she asked.

  He didn’t answer, but she was going to push this. Something inside was telling her he wasn’t being completely forthcoming. “Tell me that’s the only way.”

  “Well, it’s not the only way…”

  Addie straightened up in her seat. “There’s another way? What is it?” she couldn’t hide the optimism and excitement in her voice, and he looked hesitant. She didn’t care though. He could be awkward and unsociable another time. Right now, she needed to know if there was a way for her and Jason to be together. For real.

  “Um, well, you could become a wolf shifter like us…”

  “Wait, that’s possible? How?”

  He hesitated. “He’d have to bite you.”

  The sound of Jason’s truck coming up the gravel drive hit Addie’s ears, and she jumped out of her seat. “Oh my God, Tanner, you just solved everything!”

  She gave Tanner a quick hug, then excitedly ran toward Jason’s cabin. “New best friend, for sure!” she called over her shoulder.

  “Addie, wait!” Tanner yelled after her, but she ignored him. All she wanted to do right now was jump into Jason’s arms and tell him what she’d just learned. She wanted to see his face when he realized they could be together, forever, officially and for real.

  Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jason climb out of his truck.

  “There’s my girl!” he said with a megawatt smile as he saw her running up the path.

  She pounced on him, giving him a million little kisses all over his face. He laughed.

  “Calm down, woman. I brought you something.” He pulled a bag from the passenger seat and held it up. “Gravy biscuits from Mama Jo’s Diner. Like your grandma used to make. I was hoping I’d get back before you woke up so I could serve you breakfast in bed.”

  Addie beamed. This was her man. Her future mate. Sweet and considerate. Driving all the way into town to pick up her favorite breakfast. She’d happily devour it later, but right now she had her mind on something more important.

  “I just learned something.” She said as Tanner jogged up behind them. “I know how I can be your mate. You can turn me into a wolf shifter like you.”

  Jason froze in her arms. “Who told you that?” he looked up at Tanner, fury in his eyes. “What the fuck, man?”

  Addie pulled away, confused and hurt. This wasn’t how she thought this conversation would go at all. “I thought you’d be excited.”

  And then it hit her. Tanner and Jason had talked about this before. Of course they had, turning a human into a wolf shifter probably wasn’t unheard of. Jason had just decided against it without her.

  A growl rattled up Jason’s chest, scarier and louder than she’d ever heard from him. Tanner backed up, hands out in front of him, like he was trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m sorry man, she asked. I couldn’t lie to her.”

  Addie put her hand on Jason’s arm, not oblivious to the tension in the air, but not really caring. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why don’t you want me to do this? Do you not want us to be mated?” Tears rimmed her eyes, and she felt stupid.

  Jason looked down at her, eyes roiling with emotion. His wolf was close to the surface, but his expression softened when he looked at her. He looked down at where Addie touched his arm, then up at Tanner, then back down to Addie, as if trying to decide who to deal with first.

  “I want us to be mated. More than anything.” He said through gritted teeth. “But I won’t take away your humanity. I won’t make you into a monster like me. I didn’t bring it up because it’s not even worth considering.”

  She couldn’t lie, she was hurt. Unable to form a coherent thought and feeling like the air was too thick to breathe, she turned and strode up the porch steps and into Jason’s cabin, heading straight for the bedroom.

  She needed to get out of here, now. Needed time to think. It seemed like things weren’t as great with her and Jason as she’d thought.

  Was she not good enough for him? That had to be it. Todd was right all along. It felt like when Todd had dumped her—except a million times worse, because she had truly believed Jason and her were meant to be together. That they had something special. That he understood her, and she understood him.

  Apparently, she had been wrong.

  She half expected Jason to stay outside and argue with Tanner, but as she dug through her little drawer, gathering her stuff, Jason appeared in the doorway.

  His eyes moved to her hands and the bag on the bed behind her. “What are you doing?” He asked, stepping closer.

  “Packing.” She said, trying to keep her voice level. She swallowed hard. She needed to be level headed about this. For both of their sake’s.

  Now wasn’t the time to flip out, because no matter what happened between them, she didn’t want to hurt him by saying something she’d regret later.

  Just in case there wasn’t a later. She choked back a sob at the thought.

  His eyebrows furrowed. “You’re leaving me.”

  She said nothing, choosing to continue packing instead and avoiding eye contact. That would be her answer, because she couldn’t trust herself to speak without breaking down into tears.

  She didn’t need to look at him to know what he was feeling. She was doing exactly what she’d told him she wouldn’t do—running. The air was heavy, and even her dull human senses felt the sadness in the air.

  She blinked back tears as she struggled with the zipper on her bag. Jason grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a hug. “Why are you doing this?” he asked. She cried into his shirt, her mascara leaving little black marks behind.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you could turn me? It would fix everything.”

  “I don’t want to turn you, Addie. It’s not an option.”

  “But you didn’t even discuss it with me!” She looked up at his eyes, desperate to find some sign of regret.

  She found none.

  He shook his head. “Can’t you see I was just trying to protect you? I won’t make you like me. I won’t take away your humanity. There’s no turning back if you’re changed, Addie.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t think you’re a monster? You’re putting words in my mouth! I want nothing more than to be like you, especially if it means we can be together!”

  He stared at her for a moment, then sighed. “I can’t, Addie. I can’t taint you like that. You may not think I’m a monster, but you don’t know what I’m capable of. It’s not only my wolf. I’m also my father’s son.”

  “You. Are. Not. Like. Your. Father!” she said through gritted teeth. “The night of the barbecue you said I was good enough. Well I’m telling you the same thing now. You’re good enough too. I want you!”

  He didn’t say anything, just stared into her eyes.

  “Were you lying?”

  “What? Of course not!”

  “Then why won’t you believe me now?”

  He only shook his head, and in that moment, Addie knew it was done.

  There would be no changing his mind. Just like he would never willingly become alpha, he’d never change her, and so they’d never truly be together.

  Maybe some people are irreparably broken. And as much as you love those people, as h
ard as you try to help them, convince them that they’re good… in the end, only they can help themselves.

  Her tears stopped as she pulled away. She grabbed her bag, zipped it up, and threw the strap over her shoulder.

  “Please don’t go. We can still be together. It just won’t be official. You knew that, and I thought you were okay with that.”

  She paused in the doorway. “I thought we couldn’t be together due to circumstances outside your control. But it’s different if you have the power to fix it. When I thought there was no way for us to be together, I was content with being as much as we could. Now that I know it’s possible, I’ll never be content with just being some girl to you. I want to be your mate, or I don’t want to be anything at all.”

  She walked out the door and Jason chased after her. “Wait! I’ll leave the pack. I’ll do anything! Please don’t leave!” His voice cracked on the last syllable.

  He really didn’t get it, did he?

  “I’m not asking you to leave your pack. You need them as much as they need you. I’m not asking you to give up anything. That’s not what love is. We both give, not take.”

  She put her bag in the trunk of her car and turned to him. His eyes were rimmed with moisture, hands running through his hair. She gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

  Stay strong.

  “I’ll always love you, Jason. But we can’t be together.”

  And if that’s how it’s supposed to be, well, it’ll be easier if we aren’t anything at all.

  And then she got in her car and pulled out of the driveway.

  As she drove under the Camp Greystone sign, she refused to look back in her rearview mirror, because she knew as soon as she did she’d break down. And she couldn’t right now. That would be for later, alone in her cabin.

  Right now, she had to do what was best for not only her, but for Jason. It wouldn’t do any good for her to be weak in this moment.

  As she turned out of view of the cabins, the most gut-wrenching howl she’d ever heard echoed through the mountains.

  Chapter 12

  The taillights of Addie’s old Honda disappeared behind the tree line as Jason’s heart broke in two.

  She was his everything. She was his mate. His reason for existing. Now, he’d never be whole again.

  Wolf shifters weren’t built for losing their mates. He’d slowly go insane.

  Go after her, His wolf growled inside.

  Jason stumbled back and clutched his sides. The pain was excruciating. He’d heard tales of the pain shifters felt after losing a mate, but he hadn’t known it extended beyond emotional pain. This was physical pain. His insides were burning and spasming as his wolf demanded his skin.

  But wolf couldn’t come out now. Jason wouldn’t be in control. He had to let Addie get far enough away to be safe.

  Go after her!

  An inhuman growl emanated from Jason’s throat as he squeezed his eyes shut until white dots appeared in the edges of his vision. It took everything he had not to change.

  Shut up, wolf. She left, and it’s your fault!

  Not my fault… he answered.

  “Hey, Jason…”

  Jason’s head snapped back toward Tanner. Tanner stepped toward Jason, slowly and with his hands out, like he was approaching a scared little animal.

  Anger unfurled in Jason’s chest. He didn’t know who he was messing with. Jason rose and took a step forward, cutting the distance between them. “You asshole. This is all your fault!” His words were loud and dominant, and they had an edge to them he never knew he was capable of. His voice felt foreign in his own mouth, and yet somehow familiar.

  His wolf relished it, and then he realized why the voice was familiar.

  He sounded like his father.

  Tanner’s expression changed from concern to fear as he, too, realized what was happening.

  Good, wolf said, and Jason agreed.

  Now maybe he’d understand better. Now maybe he’d understand the gravity of what he’d done.

  Of what he’d created.

  He’d unleashed the monster inside of Jason. The one he’d tried so hard to hide for so long.

  When Addie left, all the good parts of Jason left too. There was no saving anybody now.

  “It’ll be okay, you’ll see…” Tanner said weakly, like he only half believed his own words.

  “I’ll see? I’ll see?” Another sharp shot of pain pierced through Jason’s side, and this time, he didn’t fight it. He surrendered control.

  He hunched over into himself and let his wolf take over, bursting out of his skin.

  He was on Tanner before he could shift, and he was going in for the kill.

  Tanner threw his hands over his face, shielding himself from Jason’s fangs and claws. It bought him just enough time to shift into his wolf form.

  Tanner’s wolf was big, black, and dominant, but he wasn’t bigger or more dominant than Jason.

  Jason had always hated his wolf. He’d always wished his wolf wasn’t so big, so scary, so wild looking. He wished he wasn’t such a dangerous monster.

  But now he was taking advantage of it. Jason and his wolf wanted blood, and this would be a good fight.

  Jason let out a howl in challenge and then lunged at Tanner, who dodged at the last moment and jumped on Jason’s back.

  Jason rolled over, sinking his teeth into Tanner’s hind legs. Tanner let out a howl of agony, kicking and snapping at Jason from over his shoulder.

  Tanner’s back claws made contact with Jason’s snout just as movement from the tree line caught Jason’s eyes, distracting Jason just long enough for Tanner to squirm out from under him.

  Tanner backed off, putting a few yards between them.

  Jason eyed the wolves coming out from the tree line. Would they intervene? Jason could take Tanner, but would he be able to fight his other three pack mates at the same time?

  Jason’s eyes met Tanner’s, and anger washed over him yet again. It didn’t matter if he could take them all. He’d fight to the end, anyway.

  Jason reared back and let out another long howl — taunting, instigating. Tanner lunged, laying bite after bite on his back and neck. Now Jason was the one on the ground, kicking and fighting.

  The other wolves paced along the tree line, watching the fight intently, but not approaching any further.

  And now Jason understood why. This was a fight for alpha. The big fight.

  Human Jason had always done everything he could to delay or avoid this moment. But now, wolf Jason was excited. He wanted this. He wanted blood.

  Jason went for Tanner’s eyes, scratching and clawing over his face. This was a dirty fight. If Jason didn’t win, he wanted Tanner to be scarred.

  They fought and kicked, and then Jason saw an opening. He moved from under Tanner, rolling Tanner under himself, and sunk his teeth right over the artery in Tanner’s neck. He had him in a death grip. Any more pressure and he’d be done.

  Tanner immediately stopped moving and let out a whine of submission. The wolves in the woods did the same. Jason paused, teeth still in Tanner’s neck, and looked down into his eyes, expecting to relish in the fear he would find there.

  He wanted to see the life fade from his eyes.

  This was the one who had taken his mate from him.

  He didn’t have a mate. Probably wouldn’t ever have a mate, so he’d never understand the pain of having one ripped away. So Jason was about to give him the most equal punishment he could think of.

  Death, wolf demanded.

  But when Jason met Tanner’s eyes, something else happened. He paused, and for a moment they looked at each other.

  Jason suddenly and painfully sunk into himself, his wolf surrendering his body to his human side.

  He collapsed into the dirt and buried his head in his hands, guilt at what he had become overwhelming him. What had he almost done to his cousin? Tanner was his best friend.

  Tanner shifted back and rolled over with a grunt. He put his hand
on Jason’s shoulder.

  Tanner was his… second?

  The rest of his pack shuffled out from the tree line.

  “I’m so sorry…” Jason choked out, too ashamed to look up at his pack.

  “It’s okay. It’s really okay.” Tanner said. His face and neck were covered in blood.

  “It’s not okay. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be alpha. My wolf took over, and now I’ve ruined everything. I lost my mate and ruined the pack all in one day.”

  “This isn’t a bad thing.” Zane said.

  “I almost killed Tanner!”

  “But you didn’t.” Tanner said.

  Jason just shook his head. Too much was happening. Everything had fallen apart. Nothing would ever be the same.

  “And that’s why you aren’t like your father.” Tanner said, breaking the silence.

  Jason exhaled as the words sunk in.

  Tanner was right. He had a little of his father in him, but he wasn’t exactly like his father. He hadn’t killed Tanner. Something had stopped him from going too far.

  Jason winced as he looked up at Tanner. Thanks to shifter healing, the wounds on Tanner’s neck and face had already stopped bleeding — were half way healed, even — but there would always be scars. There would always be a reminder of today.

  “I forgive you, even though there isn’t anything to forgive. I’m only saying that because I know you’ll need to hear it.” Tanner said.

  “We all knew this would happen one day. You’ll be a good alpha.” Rowan added.

  Jason looked down at the dirt beneath his knees, trying to hide his emotion. He knew they were right. He wasn’t like his father. Addie had been trying to tell him that, and it had taken her leaving for him to finally step up to alpha.

  He looked up at the pack. His pack.

  He sighed and shook his head. “Okay, I guess. If you guys accept me, then I’ll try my best to be a good alpha.”

  Zane and Luke whooped as Rowan slow-clapped and Tanner grinned wide through his busted lip. Jason smirked a little and shook his head at the motley crew that was apparently his responsibility now.

  “I bet I know what the first order as alpha will be.” Tanner said as he took Jason into a hug.