Happy Place

by L. P. Maxa

  She smiled at me over her glass of wine. “Why? Jealous?”

  I laughed. “Nope.” Sure he was handsome and successful and environmentally conscious, but so what? I was great in bed and I had given her Wyllie. I was pretty sure I won. Right? “Just curious.”

  “He was vacationing with his family in Seaside over spring break—”

  “His wife and kids?”

  It was her turn to laugh. “No, his parents and his sister and her kids. Do you remember Julie Hurt?”

  “Oh I remember Julie. And I guarantee Brice remembers her even better.” I waggled my eyebrows. We’d both had a taste of her in high school. “Wait. Julie is Jason’s sister? Small world.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Jason brought his niece and nephew into the store one afternoon when I was working up there with Wyllie. We ended up hanging out a couple of times while he was in town.”

  I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. “I thought you said you never dated?”

  “Reconnecting with an old friend is not a date.”

  I took a deep breath. “I bet Jason would disagree.”

  I was thankful that our waitress picked that moment to bring us our food. Maybe Cass was right. Maybe I was a little jealous. Jason knew my son before I did, he’d seen Cassie’s store.

  I was trying so hard to move forward.

  But I still couldn’t help but glance back.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cassie

  After Dec put his jealousy on the back burner, dinner was great. We laughed; we caught up. I told him more about my pregnancy with Wyllie, and more about what it was like when he was a tiny baby. I could see Declan’s emotions battling in his eyes. Clearly, he was happy to hear about these memories, but sad that they were mine and not ours. I understood where his reservations came from. I understood why he was somewhat unsure about what he wanted from me. I didn’t fault him for it. But that didn’t mean that I could deal with it either. I needed certainty and stability and control. That wasn’t what Declan was offering me right now. He was offering me friendship and passion and fun. All of those things were too reckless for me, for a mother. I wanted him in my life. I wanted him in Wyllie’s life.

  But I needed Declan out of my bed.

  ***

  “Hold on there, Romeo.” Declan followed me into my room and started to peel his shirt over his head when I stopped him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had fun with you these past couple of days and, uh, nights. But I think we need to take a step back.”

  His lower lip came forward like he was about to start pouting. “A step back to where?”

  I sat on the edge of my bed, and he sat next to me. I scooted away from him. He followed.

  “I can’t keep sleeping with you, Declan. I understand that you want to take things slow and that you need to sort some things out in your head. But having sex isn’t helping. Either of us.”

  He scoffed. “I beg to differ, princess.”

  “You know what I mean, Dec. It blurs the lines, it confuses things.” I took a deep breath. Huge mistake. He smelled so damn good. I felt a shiver run through my body.

  He ran his hand up my back and cupped my neck, his fingers threading through my hair. He leaned close and put his lips to my ear. “Please don’t ask me to give you up, Cassie. I need you, I feen for you.” He kissed my neck. “All day, all I can think about is getting you alone. Your taste, the way you feel inside. Baby, please?”

  My traitorous body started to give in. My pulse quickened and my insides heated up. I wanted him too, so badly. It would be so easy, feel so good. Declan could make the world go away, he could take all of our problems and doubts and fears and make them disappear. His touch did that to me. But then what? When we were done and he was sleeping soundly beside me, my mind would be racing.

  “I’m sorry, Dec. I just can’t. You need to go sleep in another room.”

  His whole body deflated. He leaned down and put his head in his hands, pulling his hair. “Cassie, I, uh, well, I can’t go sleep in another room. What would your parents think? We’re supposed to be getting married in a couple of days. And all of a sudden I sleep in another room? I’ll keep my hands to myself. But I need to stay in here.”

  Crap balls. He was right. Well, this was going to be enjoyable. Not. “Yeah, okay. Just stay on your side of the bed.”

  He held his hands up. “I’ll behave.”

  I nodded and got to my feet. “Thank you.”

  I headed to the bathroom and got ready for bed. I knew I’d made the right choice for myself, and for Wyllie. And really, once Dec got over his blue balls, he’d see that I’d made the right choice for him too.

  I turned out the light and got in bed next to Dec.

  Next to handsome, sexy, yummy-smelling Dec.

  Tonight was gonna suck.

  Chapter Twenty

  Declan

  I’d stayed true to my word. I didn’t lay one finger on Cassie. However, I had snuck into the bathroom after she fell asleep and jacked off in the shower. Shameful, but necessary. When I woke up, light was streaming through the curtains and I was alone. After I got dressed I went to look for her and Wyllie. I couldn’t find either of them, but I did spot Cassie’s dad on the back porch, a propane heater positioned on either side of him and gloves on his hands. He had a golf club and was chipping balls into the large fountain in the back garden.

  “Nice shot, sir.” Gigi was going to kick his butt if he clogged up that filter.

  He turned when he heard the back door open. “Good morning, Declan. How did you sleep?”

  I laughed a little and looked down at the ground. For some reason, I couldn’t lie to my future fake father-in-law. “Not as well as I would have liked. Where are Cassie and Wyllie?”

  He lodged another shot; this time he missed the water and hit the concrete boy high up in the middle of the fountain in the forehead. “They went with Gigi to talk to the florist and then something about renting couches? I don’t know. I stopped listening when I realized I wasn’t expected to go with them.” He handed me the golf club and then sat down. “You and I have an appointment tomorrow to go buy tuxes. Brice, Wyllie, and your dad are coming too. It should be fun, we can grab lunch.”

  I chipped my shot right into the little boy’s bucket. Mr. Huntington whistled his approval behind me. “I have a couple tuxes, why do we have to buy new ones?”

  “I don’t know, son, I don’t make the rules. I do, however, still have the tux I married my wife in. It doesn’t fit, but I pull it out every once in a while.”

  Oh. Right. Sentimental reasons. Of course that might have crossed my mind if I wasn’t so irritated that I needed to spend thousands of dollars on a new tux for my fake wedding.

  Mr. Huntington cleared his throat. “I’m glad we’re alone here, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

  I took a deep breath and set the golf club against a stone column and sat next to him. Suddenly, I was nervous. I felt like a kid all over again. “Yes sir.”

  “I know that you’ve already forgiven Cassandra for what she did to you, keeping Wyllie a secret and all. Hell, you asked her to spend the rest of her life with you. But I want you to know that Cassandra is a good mother, she’s been an amazing mother from the moment she knew she was pregnant. Having Wyllie, going at it alone, made her strong. Turned her into the woman you love.”

  Was he serious? Was that really the way he saw things? Saw her? I shook my head. “With all due respect, sir, you’re wrong. Having Wyllie and raising him without me didn’t turn her into the woman I love. It turned her back into the woman I’ve always loved.

  “Wyllie didn’t give Cassie strength or courage. He reminded her that she had it all along. The girl I fell for when I was a kid was a damn spitfire. She was wild and free and so sure of herself. It was you and Gigi that made her weak. You took away her spirit and tried to turn her into a socialite Stepford wife. And we saved her, Wyllie and I.”

  Huh, I didn’t realize that w
as how I felt about the situation. Guess I was damn proud of Cassie after all. I sat quietly, waiting for him to kick me out or punch me. He didn’t do either.

  “You’ll see one day, son, that raising a child isn’t easy. You make mistakes, and sometimes you make the wrong call. And you hope and pray that you didn’t mess them up beyond repair. You hope that one day someone will come along and love them for who they are.”

  I scoffed. “Really? Is that what you thought Steven was doing? Loving Cassie? He was an asshole who cheated on her. And you delivered her to him on a damn silver platter.” I wanted to add that Steven slapped her when she told him about Wyllie. But I knew it wouldn’t change anything.

  “I can see that you’re angry, that you think I’m a terrible father. But Wyllie changed us all, Declan. He reminded us all about what love should look like.”

  ***

  I’d never really intended to have words with Mr. Huntington. But, hey, what was I supposed to do? Blow smoke up his ass? Not my style. Plus, he reminded me what I already knew, but was buried beneath all the crap I’d been dealing with these past few days: how damn amazing Cassie really was.

  I was sitting in the living room, laptop open, answering emails when I heard the front door open and Wyllie’s giggles fill the air. I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face. I’d missed my son today while he and Cassie were out running errands. I loved that I knew what it felt like to be excited to see him.

  Everything about being a father was better than I could have ever imagined. Cassie walked in with Wyllie on her hip, looking just as beautiful as she always did. “There’s my family. Come here, Wild Man.” I held my arms out and he dove into them. I threw him up in the air a few times, earning those coveted deep belly laughs. “Did you pick out flowers and couches with Mommy and Gigi today? Was it fun?”

  Cassie collapsed beside me on the couch. “I wouldn’t exactly call chasing a toddler around a bunch of breakable things fun. But we got a lot done. Didn’t we, buddy?” She reached over and rustled his hair.

  “Where’s your mom?”

  “She had some committee meeting at the country club. I don’t remember what for. She dropped me off so I could put Wyllie down for a nap.” Cassie leaned down and started digging through the diaper bag. She pulled out Wyllie’s pacifier and held it out to him. He grabbed it, shoved it in his mouth and laid his head down on my shoulder.

  I nuzzled the top of his soft little head and held him close. “How about I put Wild Man down for a nap, then we give your dad the baby monitor and go shopping for wedding rings?”

  Cassie raised an eyebrow. “Really? I just figured we’d grab some fake ones for the ceremony.”

  “What do you take me for? Plus, your stupid friends would be able to spot cheap jewelry from across the room.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Cassie

  “Am I on glue, or was there some weird tension between you and my dad?” Something was up. Woman’s intuition. I turned in my seat to watch his reaction.

  He shrugged, way too nonchalantly in my book. “You’re on glue. What made you think that?”

  “When we went to give him Wyllie’s baby monitor, you wouldn’t look at him and he avoided even standing next to you. The two of you have been all chatty Cathy for the last two days and now you won’t even make eye contact?”

  Declan glanced over at me and then put his eyes back on the road. “It’s not a big deal, we just had a little discussion earlier that may have ended with some, um, tense words.”

  “What kind of tense words? What could you and my dad possibly have to argue about?” I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. I hated family drama, and I didn’t want Wyllie anywhere around it.

  Dec took a deep breath. “Look, your dad was telling me what an amazing mom you were and that raising Wyllie on your own this past year really made you strong. He said that it made you the woman I love.” He shrugged and shook his head slightly. “I told him he was wrong. I told him that you were always strong and that he kept you weak for all those years.” We stopped at a red light and he reached over the console and took my hand. My stupid heart did a little flip at the contact. “You were always strong, Cassie, you just needed a reason to prove it to everyone else.”

  “Dec, that’s really sweet of you to say. But you know my dad didn’t mean any harm by what he said. He was just sticking up for me, for my choices.” I wanted to tell him that I had forgotten just how strong I was. I’d forgotten who I was. Until that night in Seaside. That one night with Declan gave me back everything that had been stripped from me.

  The light changed to green and he put both hands back on the steering wheel. I missed his touch instantly. “I know he didn’t. I guess I just snapped. I hated watching your parents break your spirit, hated watching them shove you into a life you didn’t want.”

  Declan parked the car at the curb in front of the jewelry store my engagement ring came from. I suddenly didn’t feel like getting out. I didn’t feel like going inside and watching the man I love buy a ring he didn’t really want to give me. “Declan, if you loved me so much, if you loved the person I was and saw that I was losing myself, why didn’t you say something? Save me? Why didn’t you stick up for me?”

  He unbuckled his seat belt and turned to face me as he ran his hands through his hair, pulling the ends with each pass. “I couldn’t be your knight in shining armor. I was just a kid. Hell, I was having a hard enough time trying to save myself. Growing up isn’t easy. Having insane expectations put on you by your parents makes it that much harder.”

  He reached up and put his hand on my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Cassie. I’m sorry for not telling you how I felt all those years ago. For letting you slip away. And I’m sorry for leaving you behind to pick up the pieces after Seaside.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I needed saving. I’m sorry I was weak. And more than anything in this world, I’m sorry I kept Wyllie from you.”

  I wanted Dec to kiss me. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and tell me he still loved me and that he wanted this wedding to be real. I wanted so many things I had no right wanting. Instead he ran his thumb lightly across my cheek and pulled away.

  “Let’s go buy some overpriced jewelry.” He chuckled and hopped out of the car.

  I took a few deeps breaths before I followed him inside.

  ***

  Picking out rings actually turned out to be a pretty painless and easy process. We both found what we wanted rather quickly and Dec hadn’t said one word about the price. I tried to buy his ring, but he wouldn’t let me.

  When we got back in the car he stashed our rings in the glove box and pulled out his cell. He punched in the passcode and handed it to me. “Why don’t you call Brice and see if he wants to meet us for drinks.”

  I dialed Brice.

  “Hey, douche bag.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s Cassie.”

  “Oh. Hey, Cass.”

  I made a face. “Ew, why do you sound all winded and breathy?”

  “I was, uh, on the treadmill.”

  “Really?” I narrowed my eyes and Declan started to laugh.

  “Do you really want to know?”

  “No.”

  “Didn’t think so. What’s up?”

  “Dec and I are going to have a few drinks, meet us?”

  “Uh, yeah, I’m just about done here. Text me where and I’ll be there soon.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Declan

  Cassie and I grabbed a table and ordered a round of beers. Brice came strolling in the moment our waitress placed the drinks on the table. “Perfect timing, man.”

  Brice chuckled. “Always.”

  Cassie wrinkled her nose. “If you’re having sex, please don’t answer your phone. It’s rude, for everyone involved.”

  Brice rolled his eyes. “Come on, Cass, I was working out. I wouldn’t answer the phone while I had some chick bent over my desk.”

  I chuckled whe
n he caught my eye over her head and mouthed, “Yes I would.”

  Brice had always been good with the ladies, and he’d always had a great sense of humor. We’d been friends since elementary school, and the fact that our friendship could survive me knocking up his baby sister and him not telling me about it meant that we’d be friends forever.

  “So what did you two do today? Cass, didn’t you have wedding crap to do with Mom this morning?”

  She took a large gulp of her beer. “Yes I did. Florist and couches. Then Dec and I went and bought our wedding bands.”

  Brice cut his eyes to me. “Really? Was Dec a big baby about spending some of his millions?”

  Cassie smiled. I loved her smile. It was sexy. “Nope. He didn’t even look at the price tag.”

  I winked at her. “Anything for the princess.” I downed half my beer, because I’d meant it. And because hearing the word “sex” come out of Cassie’s pretty mouth gave me a hard-on. “All the men have appointments to go buy new tuxes tomorrow afternoon. Your dad wants us to do lunch after.”

  Cassie’s smile fell. “Are you okay with that? I mean after what happened between you and my dad?”

  I held up my hand to stop her worries the same time Brice asked, “What happened with you and my dad?”

  “It was nothing. We were talking about Cassie and Wyllie, and he and I had a slight disagreement about a few things. No one raised their voice, no punches were thrown, and in the end I think we both understand each other better. No harm done.”

  I could tell Brice wanted to push, to ask exactly what was said. But thankfully he dropped it. “Is Wild Man coming with us tomorrow too?”

  I nodded, grinning like an idiot. “Yes, he needs a mini tux.”

  Cassie laid her hand on my arm. “If you guys don’t want to take him, it’s no big deal. He’s a handful sometimes, and getting fitted for tuxes takes time and patience. I can always just send you with his measurements.”

  I turned to her, stunned. Did she really think I wouldn’t want to take him? I was excited about being able to take Wyllie with us tomorrow. I was his dad. Tomorrow I got to be his dad. He would look to me when he was hungry or thirsty or needed a diaper change. I would be responsible for his every little want and need, and I was pumped. “I want to take him, Cassie. I’m looking forward to it.” She seemed to relax at knowing I didn’t think of our son as a burden.