A Mother's Spirit

by Anne Bennett

  ‘No earlier than me, that’s certain,’ Joe said, and added with a wide smile, ‘because I work for that slave driver of a brother of yours.’

  Isobel’s smile was just as broad as she replied in like manner, ‘You do indeed.’ She lifted her head as she spoke and as her amused eyes met those of Joe, the laughter was suddenly stripped from the pair of them and Ben felt as though they had suddenly formed a magic circle around themselves and he was on the outside of it.

  It was gone in an instant, and the tram arrived, and by the time they were seated Ben thought he had imagined the whole thing. But he hadn’t. Both Isobel and Joe had been aware of the attraction that had flowed between them and Joe was the more shocked of the two. When he had watched the ship sail out against the skyline, taking away the only woman he had ever loved in his life, he had felt his heart like a cold, dead weight inside him and had honestly thought that it would stay like that until the day he died.

  But some electric current had passed between him and Isobel, causing that same heart to thump against his ribs. He knew he had no right to feel like that about anyone, least of all Isobel, who he counted as a good friend. Was he some sort of beast that he couldn’t view a woman in any light other than a sexual one? He was very glad that Isobel hadn’t been privy to his thoughts.

  But Isobel had felt the pull too and knew that the look in Joe’s eyes was probably mirrored in her own. When she had told Ben that she was looking for no man to share her life she had spoken the truth, so she had been taken unawares by the attraction she had felt towards Joe. Suddenly, they felt awkward with one another and a silence grew up between them.

  In an effort to break it, Joe said, ‘It’s a nice enough journey out to this school anyway, for this is a fine wide road.’

  Isobel was grateful for Joe remarking on something so innocuous and innocent. ‘Yes, I always liked it too,’ she replied. ‘Gerald and I used to drive down this road to visit Paul when he lived in the house in Edgbaston. I always thought it a lovely road, so near to the city centre and yet lined with trees like a country lane.’

  Joe laughed at her but gently. ‘It’s like no country lane that I’ve ever seen,’ he said. ‘If you want country lanes, Ireland is the place for you.’

  ‘D’you know I have always wanted to go there and never made it,’ Isobel said. ‘Gerald was always too busy building his business to take time off to have any sort of holiday.’

  ‘One day I will take you to Ireland,’ Joe promised.

  Isobel looked at Joe and opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Ben said, ‘Not without me you won’t. If you are going to Ireland, then I am coming too.’

  ‘Did I suggest going without you?’ Joe said.

  ‘No,’ said Ben. ‘But you never made it clear I was going either.’

  Whatever remark Joe was going to make to this was never given, because the conductor came up to tell them that they had reached their stop.

  At the school, as it was a Saturday, the staffroom was made available to those who accompanied the boys while the exams were in progress, and as the day had turned out blustery as well as cold, Isobel and Joe decided to take advantage of it.

  ‘Did Ben like Ireland so very much?’ Izzy said, as they settled themselves down for the long wait.

  ‘Yes, he did,’ Joe replied. ‘Though he was glad enough to get away when we did, before the news broke about Gloria and Philip Morrisey. In a small place like that … well, let’s just say that our lives wouldn’t have been worth living. They’d mean well and their sympathies would have been with us and everything, but both of us were too raw to have dealt with it just then.’

  ‘I can totally understand that.’

  ‘What Ben really would like to return to, I think, is the life before all the upset happened, maybe before Gloria’s job at the Springtown Camp, but that life will never come again and even the farm will be in new hands soon.’

  ‘Has Tom a buyer then?’

  ‘More or less,’ Joe said. ‘And he will insist on sharing the money. I don’t know what I will do with my share.’

  ‘Did you make no plans?’

  ‘Not plans as such, no,’ Joe said, ‘because I didn’t know that Tom only stayed on here so that I could come over here with Gloria and Ben and take over the tenancy once he decided what to do with the farm.’

  ‘Yes, he told me that too,’ Isobel said.

  ‘By the time he told us this, relations between Gloria and me were stretched to breaking point,’ Joe said. ‘And though I didn’t know it, she must have been pregnant with Philip Morrisey’s child and making plans to leave. I had it in mind to buy a house, mainly so that Ben will have something when I am gone, but now I am having a rethink.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Well, I will not have enough to buy a house outright,’ Joe said. ‘I would have to have a mortgage and I am hesitant to tie up all my cash in paying it back. It would mean hefty repayments, because I am fifty-five years old. I have only ten years more in employment. In the meantime, if Ben passes this exam and proves to be bright enough to go to university, a lump sum might be useful then.’

  ‘I think there are grants and things,’ Isobel said.

  ‘Maybe there are, but if Ben makes the grade, I want him to have the same as the other students.’

  ‘What will Tom do with his share?’

  ‘Put it in the bank, if I know Tom,’ Joe said. ‘He’ll be moving in with Aggie and Paul, that I am sure of. It’s been on the cards for ages. He only stayed on with me this long because Ben was in such a state.’

  ‘You must have been devastated too when it happened?’

  ‘I felt so saddened that our lives together were over,’ Joe said. ‘My immediate concern was to get Ben away here as soon as possible. It was when we arrived that the whole thing hit me, but then Ben needed me and I couldn’t really give way at all.’

  ‘You did a good job,’ Isobel said. ‘Ben is a fine boy. One you can feel proud of.’

  ‘I am proud of him,’ Joe said. ‘I always have been. And I suppose the sensible thing for me to do would be to invest most of my share of the money and stay on at the flat.’

  Isobel thought of the bungalow that she had lived in alone since her husband’s death. It was far too big for her, and both Sarah and Paul had urged her to sell up and find somewhere smaller, but all her memories, good and bad, were tied up in her home and she loved it dearly. It had three bedrooms, enough room for Joe and his son, and she would love to have a man about the place again and to see a boy grow to manhood in a world of peace. She also knew that it would be totally inappropriate for her to mention this to either of them and she found herself saying instead, ‘Yes, I think that that will be the best solution all round.’

  A fortnight or so after this, Molly said to Tom, who had popped round one day as he was wont to, ‘Don’t think I’m mad or anything, but is there anything going on between Isobel and Joe?’

  ‘Funny you should mention that,’ Tom said. ‘There is nothing going on, as such. Well, not that I’ve seen, and Ben has said nothing either and I’m sure he would have done, but I’ve not seen Joe the way he is now in years. There is a light dancing in his eyes and a spring in his step, and he reminds me of when he was a young lad in Buncrana and going out to the socials.’

  ‘Well, Isobel too is like a young girl,’ Molly said. ‘And then last Sunday after dinner, with the boys upstairs and you putting Nuala to bed, I made a pot of tea and took it into the living room. Uncle Joe and Aunt Isobel were in there. They were doing nothing wrong, weren’t even sitting together. Joe was in one of the armchairs and Isobel on a corner of the settee, but I saw the look that passed between them before they realised that I was in the room. It was so … sort of bittersweet in a way. It brought a lump to my throat, to tell you the truth.’

  ‘Do you think they are aware of it?’ Tom asked.

  ‘They must be,’ Molly said. ‘They might not have admitted it even to themselves, but there is a certain som
ething between them.’

  ‘Maybe it is time for Joe to take my place and accompany Isobel, like I used to, so they get to know each other a little better?’ Tom suggested.

  Molly nodded. ‘It would do him good, anyway. He hardly goes across the door. I mean, if Joe doesn’t want to leave Ben in the flat on his own, he can come here. He’s hardly away from the doorstep, anyway. Mind you, I don’t think that it’s me that’s the draw. It’s more likely Nuala.’

  Tom smiled. ‘He really loves the child.’

  ‘I know,’ Molly said. ‘He is very sweet with her and when she does something like when she smiled at him for the first time, he was bowled over and he told me he wrote to his mother and asked if Rebecca did that yet. Gloria wrote back that she did and sent him some photos to prove it. Of course, all this worshipping at the cradle of Nuala is doing her no good at all. I said to Mark, the sooner this war is over and we can be a proper family again and give Nuala a brother or sister, the better I will like it.’

  ‘It can’t be long now,’ Tom said. ‘Anyone but Hitler would have admitted defeat by now.’

  ‘Hitler is a madman,’ Molly said. ‘Everyone knows it. I tell you, the ones who find him and hang him from the nearest tree, or lamppost will be doing the world a favour, in my opinion.’

  ‘And in mine,’ Tom said. ‘And it can’t come soon enough.’

  ‘Are you sure that you feel all right about me doing this?’ Joe asked Ben anxiously as he got ready in the bedroom. ‘You’re not in any way upset that I am going to the cinema with Isobel?’

  ‘You asked me this twice already,’ Ben pointed out. ‘And I said I didn’t then. Why should I, anyway?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just thought …’

  ‘Look, Dad, stop worrying about me all the time,’ Ben said. ‘You’re taking me round to Molly, and then me and Kevin are going to play football in the park, and after he is going to show me the crystal set that Uncle Paul got him. We’re going to see if we can set it up and I am stopping overnight with them so why would I care what you do?’

  ‘So you have the evening all planned out then?’

  ‘We sure do,’ said Ben in a broad American accent.

  ‘And I should stop being such a worry guts?’

  ‘Yeah, you should,’ Ben said. ‘I’m eleven, not a baby any more.’

  ‘All right, all right,’ Joe said with a mock sigh, ‘I know when I’m not wanted.’

  ‘Good,’ Ben said with a grin. ‘Glad we’ve got that established.’

  Joe was delighted to see his son in such good form, but what he said was, ‘You cheeky young whippersnapper! You’re not too old for a good hiding, you know.’

  Ben looked not a bit abashed. All he said was, ‘Are you ready yet? Shall I get my coat or what?’

  Joe thought that he was the luckiest man in the world, sitting beside Isobel in the dark of the cinema, as if he had a perfect right to be there, and he hoped that she couldn’t hear the thump of his heart that suddenly seemed too big for his body. His mouth was so dry, it was uncomfortable to swallow, and though he longed to take one of Isobel’s hands in his, he resisted the temptation and tried to calm down and concentrate on the screen.

  The main film was Lassie Come Home, and it was less than a quarter of the way through when Isobel said quietly to Joe, ‘Wouldn’t Ben just love this?’

  He would, Joe knew, and so just as quietly he whispered back, ‘Let’s take him then on Saturday.’

  ‘Thank you, I’d like that,’ Isobel said. ‘But maybe Ben would like you to himself.’

  ‘No, he always likes your company,’ Joe said. He wanted to add, ‘So do I,’ but he didn’t think it was the correct thing to do. So the words hung unsaid in the air.

  But that did pave the way for more outings, at least, and after that they took Ben out every weekend as March gave way to April, and still the war rumbled on. Isobel and Joe were unaware that the whole family was watching this love developing between them with great interest. Joe tried to deny the feelings rising inside him every time he even thought about Isobel. He knew that if he had declared his love for her, nothing could happen because he was still a married man, his divorce not yet achieved.

  Ben didn’t know this, but after Tom left to live with Aggie and Paul, Isobel became an even greater part of their lives.

  One day Ben said to her, ‘Are you still Uncle Tom’s friend?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘You’re more Dad’s friend now, though, aren’t you?’

  ‘I am very fond of your father too,’ Isobel conceded.

  ‘But you wouldn’t marry Dad either, would you?’ Ben said. ‘Is that because he is just a friend like Tom is?’

  ‘No, it’s because I am not looking for a husband and I’m sure your father doesn’t think of me like that.’

  ‘Have you asked him?’ Ben persisted. ‘Because I think he does.’

  Isobel felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment as Ben exclaimed, ‘You’ve gone ever such a funny colour!’

  ‘All right, that’s a halt to the personal questions,’ Isobel said. ‘And I must say, Ben, that for someone who doesn’t like answering that many questions, you certainly can dish them out.’

  ‘The teacher said we need to ask questions,’ Ben said with a large grin. ‘That’s how we learn, she said.’

  ‘Oh, did she?’ Isobel answered grimly. ‘Well, in my book you have learned enough. Let’s go and find your father.’

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Hitler killed himself on 30 April in a bunker in Berlin together with his lover, Eva Braun, whom he had married the day before. This was reported in the papers after Berlin fell to the Red Army on 2 May. Hitler’s successor, Admiral Doenitz, then surrendered to the Soviet Army on 7 May and the war that had claimed so many lives was finally over.

  Tuesday 8 May, was declared a national holiday, VE or Victory in Europe Day. Euphoria gripped the nation as the realisation sank in of what the end of the war really meant. Church bells, the ringing of which was reserved for warning of invasion, rang out for the first time in years.

  Many shopkeepers opened their store of goods that they had kept back for just such a moment. Things not seen for years appeared on the counters, and pubs were open all day. People seemed to have a need to be with other people: some took to the streets and others gathered together with their families. Paul and Aggie opened their house to everyone, as it was the largest. Joe and Ben got off the tram at Molly’s and together they walked across the park, pushing Nuala in the pram. They saw people stacking up piles of rubbish, including many of the hated gas masks. For a second or two Kevin wondered what they were doing and then he exclaimed to Ben, ‘Oh boy! Look at that. They are building a bonfire.’

  That had been another thing banned through the war. ‘Can we go?’ Kevin asked. ‘When it gets darker, I mean?’

  ‘I should think so,’ Joe said. ‘Though they might not wait for dark to light it because it stays light for ages now.’

  ‘I wonder if there will be fireworks,’ Molly said. ‘You know, if anyone has a few that they have kept all these years.’

  ‘The shopkeepers might,’ Tom said. ‘If they had stock in from before the war.’

  ‘Would they be any good after all this time, though?’ Joe asked.

  ‘Well, there is not much to spoil, is there?’ Tom said. ‘The most important thing is whether they were kept dry or not.’

  ‘Ooh, I hope you’re right, Uncle Tom,’ Molly said. ‘I love fireworks. I remember fireworks on Bonfire Night. Do you, Kevin?’

  Kevin nodded. ‘Just about.’

  ‘We will come out and see afterwards,’ Molly promised the two excited boys. ‘And any that wants can come with us.’

  Aggie, Paul and Isobel were waiting for them all with tables laid out for an impromptu party.

  Isobel said to Joe, ‘Don’t ask where Paul got all the stuff. I tried that and I was told those that ask no questions will be told no lies.’

  ‘Then the onl
y thing is to do justice to the food,’ Joe said.

  Isobel laughed. ‘You’re right there. But there is no need to worry. There will be not a scrap left when we let Kevin and Ben loose on it. I think both those boys have hollow legs.’

  Joe laughed. The boys certainly did have healthy appetites and he had often blessed the fact that Ben had a good meal at school and he and Tom ate in the works canteen Paul had set up, because it meant the rations went that bit further. But when he said this, Paul said, ‘Yes, and I think rationing will go on for many years. We must remember the war isn’t totally over yet, because there is no sign of Japan giving in.’

  ‘Yes, and I’d rather fight a German any day than a Nip,’ Joe said, and there was a murmur of agreement.

  ‘They mustn’t be right in the head,’ Tom declared. ‘I mean, when you are in the forces, you take on board the fact that you risk your life, but to actually want to die for your country as long as you take as many Americans with you as you can like those kamikaze pilots is almost unbelievable. How do you fight people with that sort of warped mentality?’

  ‘And it isn’t only Americans,’ Paul said. ‘Look at all those captured in Singapore, among other places.’

  It was a sobering thought to be celebrating with fighting still going on and atrocities being committed, but then Aggie said, ‘I know that it’s disappointing and worrying that Japan is still holding off surrender, but if we fret about it from now till the end of time we cannot change that. Let’s have this one day of celebration when we realise what everyone in this country has gone through for six long years. For us now it is time to look forward and we ought to mark that, surely. It is not a sin to be happy.’

  ‘Aggie is right,’ Paul declared. ‘I have a couple of bottles of bubbly put by for just such an occasion and we will drink a toast to the future.’

  ‘Even us?’ Kevin asked hopefully.

  ‘Even you, on this very special day, will have a small glass,’ Paul said with a smile.

  A few hours later a sizeable hole had been made in the food and drink. Rhapsody in Blue was playing on the gramophone, Nuala was fast asleep in her pram, and Ben and Kevin were anxious to go back to the park and see what was happening with the bonfire.