“C’mon. You know I didn’t mean—”
“He’ll look great no matter what,” Caden supplied, and Mrs. Bell agreed.
“How about you, Caden?” Tabitha asked, possibly in an effort to change the subject as Christopher looked sullen.
He was right, though. Things were different. I was different.
“My flight is the day after tomorrow. But I don’t head back to work until after the holiday,” Caden replied, focusing on his plate of turkey and sweet-potato casserole.
The melancholy I felt was easily disguised as everyone else announced their plans for the coming year. When Caden finally looked in my direction, his eyes held a hint of sadness as well.
Once the dishes were cleared and the kitchen cleaned up, we stepped out on the deck to watch our final sunset together. Well, at least mine. Besides Caden, everyone else was staying through the end of the week. As we watched the tide rolling in, my phone began blowing up with texts and messages.
The first text I saw was from Finn.
Why does that look real?
What the hell? As soon as I clicked on social media, I saw what all the hoopla was about and swore under my breath.
I’ll talk to you when I get home, I hastily replied.
“What is it?” Caden asked.
I clicked on a link to the YouTube video and handed my phone to Caden.
“Well shit,” Caden said, turning pale. There we were on the kiss cam with the caption: “International Model Kisses New Love Interest.”
“What’s going on?” Christopher asked, and when Caden’s wary gaze met mine, I nodded. No way around it now except straight through.
“I, uh, took Blair to a hockey game, and we were minding our own business when the kiss cam focused on us,” Caden explained, his cheeks turning beet red. “So we just acted stupid while the audience egged us on. Never thought anyone would see it from a game that wasn’t even attended well.”
“Slow news week, remember?” I reminded him, and he shook his head, as if still not believing it was a possibility.
Christopher plucked the phone from his hand and watched the thirty-second video on loop, while his parents and wife glanced at it over his shoulder.
“It’s obvious you guys were just mugging for the camera,” Tabitha pointed out.
“You were just playing around, right?” Christopher asked, his eyebrows knitting together. He seemed perplexed but also sort of freaked out that he was watching his brother and best friend kiss each other in a stadium full of people. Which made total sense.
But it stung a bit too. “Yeah, of course.”
“Even if you weren’t, what does it matter?” Mrs. Bell asked as she patted me on the shoulder.
“It doesn’t, as far as I’m concerned,” I admitted. “But it might for you, Caden. You’ll almost certainly get questions from your coworkers or your listening audience.”
“Maybe even from Lauren?” Christopher asked with some strain in his voice.
Caden took a deep breath, then settled back in his chair. “It’s okay. I’ll deal with it. It’s probably time.”
Well, this was a sobering moment. He seemed to be taking it in stride, though, or just resigning himself to the reality of it.
“It isn’t time until you think it is,” I reminded him. Just because he came out to his family didn’t mean he needed to tell the rest of the world. Besides, it was never a one-time deal. You had to tell your truth over and over again to new people in different circumstances. It was a never-ending loop of finding courage.
Once I retrieved my phone, I walked to the railing to think our options through.
After a couple of minutes of silence, Tabitha stood up with a sleepy Charlotte in her arms. “If it were me? I’d post it to your social media to head the rumors off.”
“Not a bad idea.” I opened Instagram on my cell.
“Put some funny caption like: ‘Mugging for the Camera’ or ‘Hockey Game with a Friend.’”
“Great idea, babe,” Christopher said, taking Charlotte from her arms. “Time for bed, kiddo.”
“Would you be okay with that?” I asked Caden, and he nodded. He looked a bit put out, but I couldn’t exactly put my finger on why.
So that was exactly what I did as Caden glanced over my shoulder and approved of the post. His parents headed inside as well, as if to give us privacy, which I appreciated.
Within minutes we had dozens of comments from fans, some telling us we’d make a cute couple if we weren’t just friends. Caden laughed when I showed him and seemed relieved. Maybe this whole thing would blow over in no time.
“You think my family suspects?” Caden looked over his shoulder as his mom tinkered away in the kitchen.
“And if they do?” I shrugged. “We’re going our separate ways in the morning.”
Just as Caden winced, his cell rang. “It’s Lauren. I’m, uh, going to take this.”
Stomach sloshing, I gave him his space and headed up to my room.
But even long after the house fell silent, I couldn’t sleep. I studied the video of us, wondering if it was obvious then what I knew now. That Caden was incredible. Gorgeous and compassionate, with a good heart, and gave back as good as he got. And I was completely smitten with him.
I took a chance and lifted my cell.
Everything okay? Then I held my breath.
Yeah, she took it better than I thought she would. She also told me she’s seeing someone new, so that might’ve helped lessen the blow. Glad that conversation’s behind me.
I blew out a breath and typed. Wow. Okay, glad. Then added: I’m sorry.
No need to be. It is what it is.
If it’s any consolation, my fans think I made a good catch.
Well, that’s a relief. Wouldn’t want to disappoint your fans.
I cracked a smile. It was starting to feel back to normal between us. But it still didn’t feel settled or exactly right. I was crawling out of my skin to be face-to-face with him one last time. I didn’t know if it was right or wrong, but I went on instinct.
I’m leaving tomorrow.
Yeah, I’m aware.
The idea left me feeling almost bereft. The opposite of what I’d hoped when I first arrived. Which now felt so long ago.
I asked: Did it help…being here? Did you find what you were looking for?
I’m pretty sure I did.
My pulse spiked. Was he talking about himself? Us? Was I reading between the lines too much, hoping for something I could never have?
Can I… Can we…
Please.
My chest was a whirlwind of emotions, my head fuzzy as I left my room and padded down the hallway to his.
As soon as I stepped inside and saw him lying in bed, I couldn’t help myself. I stalked toward him, crawled up the bed, and took his face in my hands.
“Blair,” he whispered with an ache in his voice that I felt down to my core.
I smashed our mouths together, our tongues tangling at a frantic, desperate, needy pace. I put everything into that kiss, everything I couldn’t say out loud, as every cell in my body buzzed with overwhelming longing and desire.
20
Caden
As Blair fused our lips and rocked against me, I felt like I was floating, a delicious ache unfurling in my stomach and blooming in my chest. Before I knew it, our underwear had been kicked to the floor and we were skin to skin, the unnerving call with Lauren and texts from friends long forgotten. This was me living my truth, going after what I wanted, and right now I couldn’t see past my blinding desire for Blair.
When he’d sneaked into my room, he seemed different. A certain tenderness in his eyes I hadn’t seen before, along with burgeoning affection.
Jesus, he was so beautiful, he left me breathless.
He adjusted his thighs atop my thighs, and I hissed as my shaft rested along the crease of his ass. I could picture my cock pushing inside his tight heat, and my ears and chest flushed from the intimate thought.
He leaned down and grasped my face in his hands. “Just do it.” Doubt briefly flitted through his irises. “I mean, if that’s something you…”
“Are you sure?” I asked, and he wiggled his ass against my groin in response.
“Please… I’m dying here.” He gripped the base of his cock, which was stiff with blood, the slit dripping with precome.
“We can’t…” I stole a glance toward the door, heart rate spiking at the thought of anyone hearing. “We need to be quiet.”
“I can be quiet.” His fingers brushed over my jaw, and his eyes blazed with mischief. “If not, you’re free to shut me up again.”
Fuck, he was killing me. The trouble we could’ve gotten into had we only been alone.
“Top drawer.” I motioned to the nightstand, suddenly embarrassed that I’d stored a couple of condoms and lube for who knew what when I first arrived at the beach house. But he didn’t bat an eyelash as he went to work, rolling the condom down my shaft and applying lube to my cock as well as his hole. That visual alone made me even stiffer, and I needed to shut my eyes to rein in my thundering pulse.
Then, gazes connecting, he lifted up to align us. I groaned low in my throat as my tip breached his hole. As he lowered himself with shallow thrusts, my fingers gripped his thighs. But watching him take control was something else. His head bent back, his lips parted as he moaned shamelessly. Holy fuck. One of the most erotic things I’d ever seen.
And though Lauren and I had tried anal once, this was something altogether different, as I mashed my teeth together, attempting not to spill my load inside him before we even got going.
“You’re so tight,” I murmured, trying not to yell out. “I might not last.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he replied as he wiggled farther down until my entire cock was encased in tight, hot smoothness. “It’ll feel incredible no matter what.”
I clutched his hips, fighting the urge to drive upward into his velvety heat. As if reading my mind, he began moving in a fluid motion, lifting on his knees, then gliding back down. “So good.”
Soon enough we got a rhythm going that rocked my world. As Blair studied my every expression, the air shifted between us. And as I held his face to kiss him deeply, I somehow knew this was the most honest Blair had been with me. The most raw and bare. The way his eyes watched me as he whispered my name like a sacred chant left me breathless. “Cady…oh, Cady.”
Blair’s cock leaked against his stomach, his chest flushed a rosy pink, and his mouth was puffy from my sucking on his lips and tongue. Fisting his shaft, he stroked from root to tip, adding an extra twist that made him moan as I gripped his ass and thrust upward, careful not to make much noise.
When I reached upward and tweaked his nipple, he threw his head back, suppressing his moans as his come spurted in long ribbons across my stomach and chest, some even landing on my neck. And I fucking loved being painted with his jizz. Almost like he’d marked me.
“Goddamn.” My balls were tight, my spine hot and prickling. “I can’t—”
His tight muscles constricted around my rigid cock in a viselike grip, and that’s when I unraveled completely. A cascade of lights exploded in front of my eyes, and I shot my load inside him. My entire body shuddered, my fingers practically gouging his thighs as he placed a firm hand against my mouth and gently shushed me.
Blair sank down with trembling limbs, his breaths puffing against my sweaty skin, his heart jackhammering against mine. “Fuck, that was—”
“Amazing,” I interjected as his softening cock settled between my thighs, fitting just right. “Thank you for giving me that,” I whispered into his temple. “I’m glad it was you.”
Eyes wide, his palm grasping my neck, he hauled me into a deep and bruising kiss that turned me liquid. So intense, it was as if he was memorizing the taste of me.
When he finally drew back, I wanted to drag him back to me. To touch him and look my fill, until the remaining moments slipped away. We didn’t speak—it was as if we couldn’t. There was a deep throbbing ache in my chest that probably wouldn’t leave me for a long while.
After we cleaned up, I gathered him in my arms, tangling our limbs as he sighed and settled against me. As he slipped away into sleep, it was right on the edge of my lips, but I kept my mouth hemmed shut. Don’t go. I don’t want this to end.
Morning came too soon, and before I knew it, Blair was heading downstairs with his bag. “I have to get the rental car back to the airport.”
My family gathered at the door to say their goodbyes as he hugged them one by one. “Thanks for ruining my vacation, Bell family. It was great, as usual.”
We all laughed, and as I stepped up to say goodbye, I felt on display.
I held out a plain Greek yogurt. “Found this in the back of the fridge. Thought you might want it for your flight.”
“Thanks.” His eyes softened with so much affection, I had to look away and clear my throat as it clogged with emotion.
“Keep in touch, Cady,” he said against my ear as we hugged, and fuck if the endearment I once hated didn’t warm me to my toes.
I wanted to kiss him goodbye, and my fingers momentarily gripped his shirt before I thought better of it. “I will.”
Already feeling a bit lost, I lingered at the door as he pulled out of the driveway. But this thing between us that felt like more was only a fling, and I’d get over it.
“Honey…” Mom stroked the back of my hair.
I didn’t meet her gaze right then. I couldn’t. “Yeah?”
“You seem…”
“No, I’m not—” I wasn’t even sure what I was trying to deny.
“I think someone is smitten,” she said in a loud whisper as I turned to face her.
“Why would you say that?” I asked around a thick throat.
“Moms always know.” She arched an eyebrow. “And I wasn’t talking about you.”
I barely disguised my gasp.
“Christopher—” I glanced over her shoulder.
“Will come around. He’s only being protective.”
“We don’t even live near each other, and he’s never home anyway. Besides, I’ve got a lot of stuff to work out.”
“You do.” She gripped my shoulder. “You’ll get there. But listen to your heart.”
I refilled my coffee mug and stepped into the chilly air on the deck to get my bearings. I replayed the week in my head—all the walks on the beach, the conversations, the kisses.
“You okay?” Christopher asked, breaking me out of my thoughts as he walked outside with Charlotte, who was holding a bucket and shovel.
“Yeah, why?”
“I dunno, I just…” He hesitated, and I was thankful for that. I knew he suspected, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for his questions. I was feeling too raw. “Just want you to know I’m here, if you need to talk.”
I blew out a breath. “Appreciate that.”
“Are you coming, Uncle Caden?” Pleading eyes met mine, and I couldn’t refuse her.
“Let me grab a sweatshirt, and I’ll meet you out there.”
I could still smell him when I stepped inside my room, and part of me wanted to dive back into my sheets and roll around in his scent. Ridiculous.
I stilled when I spotted a plain square box sitting on my bed. I lifted it with shaky fingers and opened the lid, then let out a breathy laugh when I pulled out the ornament we’d bought by mistake. Our First Christmas.
A note was folded at the bottom, and I pulled it out.
Cady,
I thought you might get a kick out of this. The thing is, this trip was a sort of first for me.
The first time I let someone hold my hand walking down the beach.
My first hockey game, no matter how torturous it was.
My first time making out on a kiss cam, or pretending to. Though looking back now, I don’t think I was pretending. True confession: I thought about kissing you well before that.
My first time unloadi
ng all my shit to someone, besides my therapist, of course. Thanks for being a good listener. I hope I was one for you too.
I’m pretty sure you still think being with you was nothing new for me.
But it felt different with you.
I have no regrets.
And that’s a first too. Having it mean something.
Blair
21
Blair
My phone rang from the nightstand. I knew it would be my mom, and if I didn’t answer, she’d keep calling. I tried to unstick my eyes because I’d been asleep for hours. Maybe even days. All I knew was when I’d gotten off that plane, the walls seemed to close in on me.
At first I thought it was because I was feeling so emotional on the trip home. Obsessing over everything that happened with Caden. All the conversations we had, with and without speaking, when we used our hands and mouths and eyes to communicate words that didn’t always need to be spoken. I tried reading between the lines, which was ridiculous.
It was only a holiday fling, and I’d had plenty.
Except, never like that.
Dead on my feet, I’d stepped inside my apartment and was pleasantly surprised that it was all in order and freshly dusted, thanks to the cleaning service I employed in my absence. But it had also felt fucking sterile and stark and empty, and I realized it might’ve been the reason I never came home.
I fumbled for my cell, finally answering it. “Yes, Mother,” I said in a thick voice.
“Are you feeling any better?” She’d made me promise to go to the urgent care center after my flight, and I knew she was right because I’d been feeling off for weeks. Even time at the beach house did not make me feel more rested. In fact, restless was the operative word, but I figured that had more to do with Caden.
“Stop worrying. They said it would take a few days to feel better, maybe even weeks.” They’d sent me for all kinds of tests, and as it turned out, I had severe anemia and an ulcer. Fun times.
But it explained why I’d been dragging all the time. Apparently when you’re anemic, your cells are starved for oxygen. So I’d gotten a shot of iron and was sent home with some pills for the anemia and for the ulcer. I was told to rest, and there was no problem there. I’d done little else for the past three days.
Beautiful Temptation (So This is Christmas Book 2) Page 11