Blackmailed into the Marriage Bed

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  Ailsa realised yet again how stupid and immature she had been to leave the way she had. Why hadn’t she been there for him? Helping him, supporting him through such a harrowing time? ‘I can’t imagine how dreadful it must have been for you and for them. But they survived, yes?’

  ‘Yes.’ His hand briefly squeezed hers. ‘I sent them presents at Christmas. I wasn’t sure if they’d accept them, given it was my father who nearly destroyed their family, but they seem to like me contacting them. I think it helps them put it behind them. Or at least I hope so.’

  ‘I’m sure it helps enormously,’ Ailsa said. ‘It shows what a generous and caring person you are.’

  He gave a stiff on-off smile and withdrew his hand. ‘But it still doesn’t change the fact my father almost killed them. But he did kill his girlfriend and no amount of Christmas presents or financial compensation will ever make up for that.’

  Ailsa’s heart squeezed at the way he carried such a burden of guilt and shame about his father even now. ‘You weren’t driving that car, Vinn. That was your father. You’ve done everything you can to help those poor people. So many people in your situation wouldn’t have done half of what you’ve done for them.’

  Their meals arrived and the conversation switched to less emotionally charged topics. But after their main meal and dessert was cleared, Vinn reached for her hand and began a gentle stroking of her fingers. ‘Have you ever tried to talk to your mother about what happened to her? How it affected her and, consequently, her parenting of you?’

  Ailsa began to chew at her lower lip. ‘She doesn’t like talking about it. Michael wanted her to get counselling but she always refused.’ She looked at Vinn’s tanned fingers entwined with hers. ‘I never understood it as a little kid, but whenever I needed a hug from my mother she would pull away from me. It was as if she couldn’t bear to touch me. It hurt so much so I taught myself not to need hugs.’

  His fingers gave hers a brief squeeze. ‘Can you see it wasn’t about you? That it was the trauma she associated with you that was the issue? That you’re not personally to blame?’

  Ailsa met his gaze. ‘I do on an intellectual level but on an emotional level I still feel like that little kid needing a hug from her mum and being pushed away.’

  Vinn cradled her hand so tenderly she felt like he was reaching back in time to her as that needy little child, offering her comfort and security. ‘Do you think if you talked to your mother about your own issues with having a family it might help you and even her?’

  Ailsa gave a non-committal shrug without speaking. What was the point of talking to her mother? It wouldn’t change the fact she was the offspring of a criminal. No one could change that. She had to learn to live with it.

  Vinn’s fingers gently tapped her on the back of the hand as if to bring her out of her private reverie. ‘Time to go home, or do you want coffee?’

  Ailsa didn’t want the evening to end. She had never felt so close to someone as she did right then. Not just a physical closeness, but an emotional closeness where walls had been lowered and screens and masks laid aside. Would this newfound intimacy between them last? What would happen when their month was up? What then? She gave him a tentative smile. ‘No coffee for me.’

  What I want is you.

  Later, when they got home, Vinn reached for her without saying a word. His mouth came down on hers and his arms gathered her close. Their lovemaking was slow but intense, as if he was discovering her body’s secrets all over again. There was an element of poignancy to his caresses and touches. They made her feel as if she was so much more than a woman he had wanted to marry because she ticked all the boxes. He made her feel as if she was the only woman he wanted to make love to. He might not love her the way she had grown to love him, but it was enough for her now to be held close enough for their hearts to beat against each other. Close enough for her to feel as if the last two painful years hadn’t happened.

  Close enough for her to feel as if she had finally come home.

  * * *

  Two weeks later, when Ailsa woke, she was starting to wonder how she would ever return to London and her former life of work, work and more work. Her days had formed a pattern of her sleeping in while Vinn rose early to see to his business commitments, then he would come back for her mid-morning so they could visit his grandfather together.

  Dom was now fully awake and out of ICU and in a private room and, while he was still frail, at least he no longer had a jaundiced look about him. She was glad for him and for Vinn, for she could see the bond between them was strong and she couldn’t help envying it. She had never felt close to her mother or stepfather and since both sets of grandparents had always lived abroad and two were now deceased, they hadn’t been as involved with her and Isaac as much as other grandparents might have been. She was close to Isaac in that she loved him and would do anything for him but he didn’t know her as well as he might think. And she didn’t want him to. She couldn’t bear him finding out she was only his half-sister.

  Another thing that had happened over the last few days was an unspoken truce between her and Carlotta. The elderly housekeeper came in the morning soon after Vinn left for his office and only stayed long enough to tidy whatever needed tidying. She didn’t cook the evening meal as she used to before as Ailsa had insisted she and Vinn would eat out most evenings and any evening they didn’t she would cook. If Carlotta was annoyed to find her services were not required in the same capacity as before, she certainly didn’t show it. If anything, Ailsa thought Carlotta was privately pleased she had stepped up to the wifely role she had been resisting two years ago with such vehemence.

  She lay back against the pillows on Vinn’s bed and sighed. It was increasingly hard to find the strong-willed career girl who had fallen in lust with Vinn. In her place was a mellow version, a woman who was content to listen instead of spout an opinion, a woman who was dangerously close to wanting much more than she could ever have. She tried to console herself that once this month was up she would have ten million reasons to be content and happy with her lot in life. She was so much better off than most people. She had no right to be hankering after the fairy tale when she was not the daughter of royalty but the daughter of darkness.

  Ailsa threw the covers off the bed and got to her feet but the room started to spin and she had to sit down again before she fell down. Her stomach had a queasy feeling, a low-grade nausea that was annoying rather than debilitating. She waited for a moment or two before rising tentatively to her feet. So far so good. The room had stopped spinning but her stomach was still unsettled. She showered and dressed, deciding she’d better pull herself together before Vinn got back from the office, not wanting to add to his worries about his grandfather.

  Carlotta was in the kitchen when Ailsa came downstairs and narrowed her bird-like gaze when Ailsa came in. ‘Are you unwell? You look pale.’

  Ailsa put a hand on her stomach. ‘It must be something I ate last night when we went out for dinner. Too much rich food.’

  Carlotta’s expression was difficult to read, which was unusual because usually she had no qualms about showing what she felt, be it disapproval, censure or a grudging acceptance. ‘Sit down, Signora Gagliardi,’ she said, pulling out a chair. ‘I will make you a cup of tea and some dry toast.’

  Ailsa sat down but her mind kept tiptoeing around the reason why Carlotta would offer to make her tea and dry toast. There was no way she could be pregnant. She still had a contraceptive implant in her arm. Yes, it was a little overdue for a change but she hadn’t had a normal period since she’d had it implanted so it must still be working. A flutter of panic beat inside her belly and she put a hand over her abdomen in an effort to quell it. It had to be still working.

  It had to.

  Carlotta turned from switching on the kettle and Ailsa wasn’t quite quick enough to remove her hand in time to escape the quick flick of the housekeeper’s
gaze. ‘Will you tell him?’

  Ailsa swallowed. ‘Tell him what?’

  ‘That you’re having his bambino.’

  She choked out a laugh. ‘I’m not having his—’

  ‘So it’s not his child?’

  Ailsa was struck dumb by the housekeeper’s insinuation. She suddenly felt close to tears. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not ever. She couldn’t have Vinn’s baby. She couldn’t allow herself to dream of holding his child in her arms, of being with him permanently. He didn’t want her for ever anyway. This was just for now, until his grandfather was well enough to handle the truth.

  This was not part of the plan.

  Carlotta came over with a steaming cup of tea and set in on the table in front of Ailsa. ‘Drink it. The toast will be ready in a minute. Nibble on it slowly until your stomach settles.’

  Ailsa wasn’t sure if it was the nurturing the housekeeper was dishing out or the stress she was feeling about the possibility of being pregnant that made her emotions suddenly spill over. One sob rose in her throat and another closely followed it, then another and another until she sat with her head in her hands and with her shoulders shaking. ‘This can’t be happening... I can’t do this... I can’t have a baby. I just can’t.’

  Carlotta stroked the top of Ailsa’s head with a touch so gentle it made her cry all the more. ‘You are lucky to be with child. I would have given anything to have a bambino of my own but it wasn’t to be. My husband left me because of it.’

  Ailsa dragged her face out of her hands to look at the housekeeper’s wistful expression. ‘I’m sorry you weren’t able to have children. I really am. But I’ve never wanted to have them. My career is too important to me.’

  Carlotta brushed the hair back off Ailsa’s face like she was a child, her gaze soft and full of wisdom. ‘Have you really always not wanted to have children?’

  Ailsa gave a shaky sigh and dropped her head back into her hands. ‘Not always...but it’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it.’

  ‘He’ll make a good father,’ Carlotta said, still stroking the back of Ailsa’s head. ‘He won’t be reckless and irresponsible like his father. He’ll support you and the child—’

  ‘But will he love me?’ Ailsa looked up at her again.

  Carlotta’s expression became sombre. ‘He might not say it the way other men would but he cares about you. Why else would he have asked you to come back to him?’

  Ailsa got to her feet, holding onto the edge of the table in case she felt another wave of faintness. ‘Please, I beg you. Don’t tell him about this. I need to make sure first.’

  ‘You’re not going to get rid of—?’

  ‘No,’ Ailsa said, realising with a jolt it was true. ‘No, I can’t do that. It might be right for some people and I would never judge them for it, but it’s not right for me.’

  ‘But he has the right to know as soon as—’

  ‘I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it,’ Ailsa said. ‘This could be a false alarm. I don’t want to get his hopes up. It would cause more hurt in the long run.’

  Carlotta didn’t look too convinced but she agreed to keep silent on the subject. ‘Is there anything I can do for you, Signora Gagliardi?’

  Ailsa attempted a smile but couldn’t quite pull it off. ‘Yes, call me Ailsa.’

  Carlotta smiled back. ‘Ailsa.’

  Ailsa went back upstairs but, instead of going back to the master bedroom, she went to the one room she hadn’t visited since she’d been back. The door was closed and she hadn’t once been tempted to open it but now she held her breath and turned the doorknob and stepped inside. It was exactly the same as the last time she’d walked out of it with her ears stubbornly plugged against Vinn’s suggestion they talk about having a family. It was the only room in the villa that was unfinished...incomplete, like an interrupted conversation. She looked at the room with new eyes, not seeing its potential as a reading room but as Vinn had seen it—as a nursery. A nursery for the child she might be carrying.

  His child.

  She looked at the empty space and in her mind’s eye saw a white cradle with a pastel-coloured animal mobile dangling overhead. She saw soft toys—teddy bears and kittens and puppies and cute long-eared rabbits sitting on the shelf above the fireplace, next to a row of picture books and childhood classics. She saw neatly folded baby clothes—most of them handmade—in the chest of drawers.

  And in the window...a rocking chair perfect for feeding or settling a baby...

  Ailsa drew in a breath that pulled on something deep in her chest and turned and left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

  * * *

  Vinn was late getting back to the villa to collect Ailsa to visit his grandfather. Work had been piling up while he’d been spending so much time with her and there were a few pressing meetings and some urgent paperwork he’d needed to see to. He was used to spending most of his time at work. Even during their marriage he had prioritised work over his time at home. He was always conscious of how close to losing everything he had been when his father had been convicted of fraud. It was a driving force inside him he had little or no control over. Working hard was in his blood as it was in his grandfather’s and his great-grandfather’s before him.

  When he finally got back to the villa it was closer to lunch than he’d realised. He found Ailsa sitting outside in the garden with a magazine lying across her lap but she was staring into space rather than reading it. She gave a little start of surprise when she heard his footsteps on the flagstones and sprang out of the garden seat but then seemed to stumble and almost fell.

  He rushed to stabilise her with a hand on her arm. ‘Cara, what’s wrong?’

  She squinted against the strong sunlight and leaned on him for support. ‘It’s hotter out here than I realised...’

  It didn’t feel hot to Vinn but then he was used to Milan in spring, which on balance was generally much warmer than what she’d be used to in London. ‘Sit down for a bit here in the shade.’ He guided her back to the garden seat and crouched down in front of her with his hands resting on her knees. ‘Feeling better now?’

  She gave him a funny little smile and her gaze kept skipping away from his. ‘Yep, much better now.’

  She certainly didn’t look it. She had a waxen look to her features and there were tiny beads of perspiration around her temples. Vinn placed a hand on her forehead to check if she had a temperature but, while she was clammy to touch, she wasn’t burning with a fever that he could tell. ‘Maybe you shouldn’t come with me to visit Nonno today. You must have a virus or something.’

  ‘Okay...’

  He stood and held out his hand to help her to her feet. ‘Come on, tesoro. Let’s get you inside and resting. I’ll call the doctor to come round and—’

  ‘No!’ There was a shrill note of panic in her tone. ‘I... I don’t need to see a doctor. It’s just a bug or...or something...’ She bit down on her lip and for a moment he thought she was going to cry.

  He put his hands on the tops of her shoulders. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, cara?’

  ‘I just need to lie down for a while...’

  Vinn helped her upstairs and got her settled in bed with a long cool drink beside her. ‘I won’t be long. I’ll just check in on Nonno and come back to see how you’re feeling.’

  ‘Okay...’

  * * *

  Ailsa waited until she heard the sound of Vinn’s car leaving the driveway before she threw off the light bedcovers he had drawn over her moments ago. Sick or not, she had to get her hands on a pregnancy test. Two or more tests. Possibly more. She felt a little guilty ducking out of the villa while he thought she was safely tucked up in bed but what else could she do?

  She had to know, one way or the other.

  The streets were crowded enough for her to blend in without bein
g recognised...or so she hoped. She’d tied her hair back and pulled on a baseball cap and dressed in tracksuit pants and a T-shirt, making her look as if she was just out for a walk or a trip to the gym. She went into the first pharmacy she came to and bought two test kits, figuring if she bought too many from the one place it might draw too much attention to herself. She was about to walk into another pharmacy when she bumped into a man who was coming out. She mumbled an apology and went to sidestep him but he called her by name.

  ‘Ailsa? I thought it was you hiding under that disguise.’

  Ailsa looked up to see one of Vinn’s acquaintances, Nico Di Sante, the owner of the hotel she had checked into on her first night in Milan two weeks ago. What quirk of fate had led her to that hotel and now to the very same pharmacy he was using? ‘Oh...hi...’

  His gaze narrowed. ‘Are you okay?’

  Ailsa tried to relax her tight features. ‘Sure. I’m just trying to get some errands done without being recognised. You know what the paps are like.’

  ‘Sure do.’

  She shifted her weight from foot to foot, not wanting to extend their conversation past the greeting stage, but neither did she want to appear rude or draw unnecessary attention to herself. ‘Well...it was nice seeing you again.’

  ‘You too, Ailsa,’ Nico said. ‘Hey, I’m really glad you guys are back together. Vinn’s really missed you.’ He gave a short laugh. ‘Not that he would ever admit it to anyone. He’s too proud for that. Stubborn too.’

  Ailsa managed a small smile. ‘I missed him too.’

  ‘Tell him to bring you in for cocktails in my new bar.’ Nico smiled. ‘On the house, of course.’

  Ailsa stretched her mouth into an answering smile. ‘Will do.’