Hidden Desires

by T J Vertigo

  "Yeah, I need the kick this morning. Monday's are always the hardest." Brooke answered with another fake smile. "So, how's Sam's business?" Sam ran a website that sold products geared towards the gay community.

  "Fine, just fine." Beverly smiled proudly. "Did you know that Sam and Nancy are thinking about having a child?"

  Brooke bit into the croissant and cringed a little. The sweetness overwhelming her at first. "Really?" The blonde was actually interested. "How?"

  "Well, Sam wants to carry the child so I thought they should use sperm from Nancy's brother, but they're going to go with an anonymous donor. They never listen to me." She said with offense.

  "Nancy's brother?" Brooke asked in amazement.

  "Well sure! Let's keep it in the family! After all if Nancy can't do the deed, at least let the baby have her genes!"

  Brooke digested that, along with her breakfast. "You really like Nancy don't you."

  "Of course I do! She is the best thing to ever happen to Sam." Beverly said with sincerity.

  "Even though she's a woman?" Brooke asked, then realized how stupid that sounded. "I mean, did you really love her at first?" The blonde shook her head and blushed. "I'm sorry, it's not coming out like I want."

  "Oh, never you worry, I know what you mean." The older woman reassured. "I always thought there was something different about Sam, but I wasn't sure what it was until she told me she was gay. Then it all fell into place. I wasn't upset or anything that she was gay, mind you. I was frightened for her because of society. I, personally, don't care who she loves as long as they make her happy and show her the respect she deserves. Nancy is the one."

  Brooke smiled. "You're one of a kind Bev. Sam's lucky to have you."

  "Don't I know it." Bev teased and laughed. "Well, gotta get to work!"

  "Yeah, I guess we do." Brooke agreed reluctantly. At first, she only stared at her computer screen going over what Bev had said about Sam and Nancy. They sound like they were made for each other. I'd love to meet them and see for myself. Can a couple like that really exist? Respect huh? I get respect don't I? I mean, Grant cares about me... most of the time. He worries about me, sometimes. Oh but, he's a man, that's just the way men are. Brooke sighed in thought. Can they really be that happy? It must be because they're two women, but there's gotta be a downside to that too. It must be murder when they ovulate, and they must do that together by now, she grinned. But the way Bev talks... They sound like the perfect couple. I wanna be that happy too. The blonde clicked her mouse a few times and began working. Maybe one day.

  PART 2

  CAYDEN SHIFTED IN her chair and put a foot up on the counter. The Fuzzy Belly Deli wasn't a particularly busy shop, but was never the less profitable. The long spells of quiet allowed the tall brunette to indulge in her favorite pastime, which was watching television. Currently involved with John Edward, the guy who talks to the dead, Cayden leaned back and munched absently on gummy bears, swaying her chair slightly back and forth.

  Jodie came clamoring in the door with a lawn chair, a handful of tabloids and a quart of iced tea, huffing and puffing dramatically. "No, don't get up... I got it." she said sarcastically as she struggled with her load.

  Cayden glanced at her friend briefly, then brought her attention back to the television.

  "Yeah, so, it's Egypt hot out there, thanks for asking." the short, brown haired woman said to herself.

  Cayden turned to Jodie with a bored expression. "Well it wasn't my idea to sit out there and bask in Hell."

  "A little color wouldn't kill you, besides, I want to look healthy for my date tonight." Jodie replied, waving a fan fashioned out of The Enquirer in her face.

  Cayden raised her eyebrows. "Another date?"

  "Well, yeah." The shorter woman replied as if Cayden's question was ridiculous.

  "Why do you do that?" I mean, don't you want some peace and quiet once and a while?"

  "I get enough." Jodie shrugged, knowing this was the beginning of their usual debate. One she always got the last word in.

  "I don't understand how you do it. New women almost every night... it would give me hives."

  "Well some of us actually enjoy the company of others."

  "I don't know.... " The tall woman said thoughtfully. "I don't think I could do it. Playing the mating game isn't my thing. It's bad enough having that awkward first meeting. Hi there, what's your name... blah, blah, blah... I couldn't fathom sleeping with a woman I just met."

  "If you got out more often, it wouldn't be so hard to talk to women. Plus... Wade would have no reason to keep setting you up. And speaking of which, if you really weren't interested in meeting anyone, you wouldn't keep accepting his blind dates." Jodie said smugly.

  Cayden shrugged. She has a point. "I suppose maybe I do want to meet someone ... eventually."

  "It will never happen if you don't give it a chance."

  "I get plenty of chances from those weirdo’s Wade keeps setting me up with."

  "Well, if you went out and pursued a woman you actually wanted, you wouldn't be stuck with Wade's weirdoes." Jodie said with a self satisfied grin.

  Cayden narrowed her eyes. "Shut up." She hated when Jodie was right.

  "Score one for the sweaty girl!" Jodie laughed.

  "Anyway... even though I don't want to wind up all alone, I loathe bars and clubs, and first dates. I hate second dates even more than the first ones." Cayden said as she stared at the television.

  "Well, Cayden, the woman of your dreams isn't going to fall into your lap you know. You have to give it some effort, You can't be afraid."

  "I am not afraid!" the tall woman said defensively.

  "Then what is it?"

  "Shut up." Cayden really hated it when Jodie was right.

  "If you're not afraid, I want you to make a deal with me." Jodie was getting excited, she may have finally gotten Cayden to make an effort.

  The tall brunette narrowed her eyes skeptically. "What kind of deal?"

  "The next women who catches your eye, I want you to start a conversation with her."

  Cayden considered it. Sounds easy enough. I come up with all sorts of stupid chatter for the most annoying customers... and she didn't say what kind of conversation it should be. "You got a deal."

  "What?" Jodie raised both eyebrows in surprise. "You're serious?"

  "Yeah." Cayden nodded surely.

  "Shake on it then."

  "I don't know where your hand has been." The blue eyed woman joked.

  "Me? Have you been to the bathroom lately?"

  Cayden blushed. "I don't make that a habit smart mouth. It was only that one time, and I was desperate."

  "Oooo, someone got you so horny you had no choice?"

  "Something like that." The shop keeper agreed. She wasn't going to admit she got horny watching the Playboy Channel. She'd never admit to anyone she watched porno.

  "Well, at least that proves the blood still flows down below."

  "Shut up."

  Brooke was exhausted by the end of the day. No amount of coffee was able to energize her. As she turned off her computer, she yawned so widely that tears sprung to her eyes. Damn, and I still have to tend to Fred. Brooke sighed and was getting ready to leave when the phone rang. She glared at it first, then picked it up. It was her mother reminding her about Fred. "I know Ma, I'm going there now."

  "Brooke, Honey, are you alright? You sound wiped out."

  "Yeah, I am, but I'm fine."

  Unconvinced, Mrs. Hewitt pursed her lips. "Are you still unable to sleep?" She asked in concern.

  "Ma, I'll be ok. Grant's taking me to the doctor on Saturday."

  "The doctor! Honey, how bad is this?" She asked in alarm.

  "It's pretty bad." Brooke answered truthfully, she could never lie to her mother.

  "Oh, Baby!"

  "Mom, don't worry ok? How's gramma?" She asked to change the subject.

  "She's really fine now, but we're going to stay the extra night just to make sure." />
  "Well, that's great to hear. Listen, let me go so I can get out of here. Love you, Ma."

  "Love you too, Brooke." Mrs. Hewitt hung up the phone, still concerned.

  The small blonde was too tired to walk uptown so she took a cab. Being rush hour, the traffic was unbearable, and it frustrated Brooke to no end. She was already irritable, and paying to sit in stand-still traffic, just three blocks from her parents condo made her crazy. "Just pull over, I'll get out right here." she instructed, shoving money through the slot in the partition.

  When she got out of the cab, Brooke grimaced from the heat, then looked at her surroundings. She found herself standing in front of a store she hadn't noticed before. The Fuzzy Belly Deli, she thought with a smile. The name alone brightened her cranky mood and she decided to check it out. How come I never saw this place before? she wondered, looking around. Must be cuz the subway lets me out one Avenue over, she deduced, opening the front door and glancing up at the bell that rang over her head.

  The store wasn't very large and Brooke already liked it because it had air conditioning. Taking a breath of the cool air, she looked around. There was a large variety of pet toys, leashes, collars and supplies, but the majority of the shelves were lined with treats and food. OOOO! Fred would just love it here! she thought excitedly. Green eyes continued to wander to the short counter which was adorned with baskets of little colorful toys. A customer blocked her view of the person who worked behind it, but Brooke was sure she heard a television going somewhere. She walked around, touching things, picking them up and squeezing them, making them squeak. She picked up a few treats that were supposedly "gourmet" and after careful consideration, decided that Fred would like the peanut butter cookies over the chocolate chip.

  Jodie and Cayden stood patiently, with smiles plastered to their faces as Paul, the single, obese, forty something year old man, who still lived with his mother and her 6 cats, went on and on about everything under the sun. Cayden had long since drifted away to a happy place where flowers danced and the sun always shined, but still managed to nod and raise her eyebrow in interest in all the right places. She was, after all, a professional.

  Brooke stood behind the prattling man, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other. Who cares about Mr. Winkles' extra toe. Come on! Let's move it Mister! Brooke's irritation grew and she sucked her teeth and exhaled loud, suffering sighs in hopes that the fat man would realize he wasn't the center of the universe and step aside.

  Drifting back to reality for a moment, Cayden heard the impatient sounds emanating from behind Paul and elbowed Jodie discretely. She couldn't see behind the large man, but knew it was a woman, by her sighs. With Jodie's deal still fresh in her head, Cayden was eager to see who this was. "Well, Paul, you go home and give Mr. Winkles a kiss for me, ok?" Cayden cut in, hoping she got her point across.

  Brooke stopped stewing at the smooth sound of a woman's voice. For some strange reason, the smokey timbre struck her as sexy. The blonde blinked a few times wondering where that thought had come from.

  Paul stepped to the side briefly, giving Jodie a quick view of Brooke. Jodie's eyebrows shot up and she smiled uncontrollably. Oh, Cayd... wait til ya see this one!

  Cayden quickly counted out the customer's change hoping the woman behind him was at least halfway decent. She'd strike up a boring conversation, prove to Jodie she could do it and go on with her life. Glancing over at Jodie while she packed up Paul's purchase, Cayden nearly laughed out loud at the ridiculous gleeful expression on her face. Her eyebrows were terribly arched and her smile threatened to split her face in two. Surely Paul couldn't have done that to her.

  "I'll see you next week!" Paul said as he happily took the bag and turned away from the counter.

  "Ok, Paul, I'll be here." Cayden replied with a patented, phony smile.

  Brooke was about to mutter something impolite to the large man as he passed but when she looked up she forgot what she was going to do. There was a woman staring at her with the most ridiculous expression on her face. It reminded her of a Soundgarten video where all the people had distorted faces. The blonde took two steps to the counter and put her items on it, all the while feeling very uncomfortable. What is she looking at? She thought with annoyance. After studying her some more, Brooke came to the conclusion that she was mentally challenged and felt bad for being irritated with her. The blonde glanced up at the taller woman behind the counter and furrowed her brow in confusion. This woman was staring at her slack jawed, like she had just grown a third eye. What the hell is this place? She thought, about to say something to these rude women when she really took a look at the tall one. Wow. Now those eyes are BLUE. The kind of blue you only read about... or see on movie stars. Damn, this is very uncomfortable... they're both staring at me. Maybe I should just leave. Suddenly, the retarded woman elbowed the tall gaping one and the tall one jumped.

  "Oh!" Cayden said in frog-like croak.

  Brooke raised her eyebrows. They're both retarded? Must be some sort of work program for mentally challenged people. Surely they don't leave them alone?

  Cayden blushed and cleared her throat. "Will that be all, Miss?" She asked in a controlled manner.

  Hey! Brooke thought, slightly panicked. It was the same sexy voice from before and this time it made her shiver. Feeling awkward and confused, the blonde just nodded.

  Jodie chuckled out loud. Cayden was obviously going to back out of the deal.

  The tall shop keeper rang up the items and announced the total. She felt stupid for being so tongue-tied and was eager to hurry this up. "Cash or charge?" she asked.

  "Umm.. charge." Brooke dug around in her bag, cursing herself for standing there like a moron. I really thought she was ill. How embarrassing.

  "SO!" Jodie started loudly, "I've never seen you here before?"

  Brooke was surprised, she really thought the woman was retarded too, but now she seemed perfectly normal. "My parents live a few blocks away, I'm dog sitting."

  Jodie plucked the credit card from Brooke's hand and gave it to Cayden who was still staring like a fool. "Oh, really? What kind of dog do they have?"

  Feeling less awkward, Brooke smiled. "A Chihuahua... Fred."

  Cayden ran the card through and looked at it. Brooke... that's a pretty name. Brooke Hewitt... sounds kinda uppity though... She handed it to the blonde and was surprised that when they made eye contact, a real smile came just as easy to her as a fake one.

  "Hey, why don't you bring Fred over here sometime? We just love to spoil the babies." Jodie continued talking.

  Brooke shook her head. "Oh, he's far from a baby, in fact he's really old and I'm afraid he won't make the walk." She said sadly, suddenly wanting to spend more time with this weird duo. "Maybe we will." she blurted out, then mentally smacked herself. She'd have to carry Fred the whole time and then she'd really smell like dog. Grant will hate that, she thought.

  Cayden suddenly found her tongue. "I'd love to meet Fred."

  Jodie glanced at her friend with mirth. "Yeah, Cayden just loves the tiny ones." she said as she gave Brooke the once over.

  Cayden, huh? The blonde thought with a goofy smile, then caught herself. What is wrong with you? "Oh, well, I better get going." Brooke said holding up the bag. "I have cookies to deliver."

  "So, don't be a stranger!" Jodie piped in.

  Brooke smiled and left the store. For some reason she kept repeating the tall one's name over and over in her head.

  Jodie laughed herself stupid as Cayden just stood there and watched. "Oh god! That was too good! No wonder you don't like it Cayd... you suck at it!"

  The tall woman rolled her eyes. "I'm not usually so idiotic, Jo. I don't know what the hell happened."

  "Damn, she was fine!"

  "Fine? She was gorgeous! Are you kidding?" Cayden said excitedly.

  "You're just lucky that I'm booked all week or I would have asked her out myself. Damned cute she was."

  "Jo, she wasn't just cute, she was edible." Cay
den groaned the last word out.

  "Need to use the bathroom, Cayd?" Jodie teased.

  "Hardy har har." The tall woman drawled out, trying to hide her blush. Truth was, she found the blonde extremely attractive and it lit a spark in her groin. If Jodie wasn't there, she just might have used the bathroom. "Her name is Brooke. Brooke Hewitt."

  "See, even her name is cute. Watch out, Brooke Hewitt just may be back with Fred."

  "Don't scare me. Oh, and very funny making that crack about me liking the tiny ones."

  Jodie snickered and gathered her belongings.

  "Where are you going?" Cayden asked nervously.

  "Home." The shorter brunette replied with a charming smile.

  "I'm not closing yet." Cayden panicked.

  "Translation: what if she comes back?" Jodie whined in imitation of her friend.

  "What if I start acting stupid again?"

  "You'll figure something out." Jodie winked, and was gone.

  Brooke filled Fred's bowl absently, inexplicably distracted by Cayden's blue eyes. "Fred, you should have seen them. They were... electric. I swear I felt them look right through me." She said, then shook away her uneasiness. "Come on Brooke! You act like you've never seen blue eyes before!" Fred ate eagerly as Brooke gave him fresh water. "She had the sexiest voice too..." she started to confess then caught herself. "That's the second time I thought that." she said surprised once again with her thoughts. She crouched down and pet Fred as he ate. "When you're done, I have some cookies for you." She said, still distracted by Cayden. That's not so weird, to think another woman's voice is sexy cuz it was! It was smooth and smokey... it fit her well. She was smooth and smokey... Cayden. Cayden with the blue eyes and sexy voice. Brooke didn't know how long she was lost in thought until she heard Fred whimper. Blushing at herself, she looked up to notice the teeny dog standing expectantly by the front door. Straightening out of her crouch, she grabbed Fred's leash and headed out. "Let's go baby."

  Cayden's head shot up as the bell tinkled over the door. She visibly relaxed when she saw it wasn't Brooke, but cringed just the same.