Hidden Desires

by T J Vertigo

  "Hello my Angel Darling!" Mrs. Ida Friedman exclaimed, her arms wide and flailing.

  "Hello Ida, how are you?" Cayden asked politely, hoping and praying that Brooke wouldn't come in now. Not with Ida.

  "Oh, Angel, Sweetie, my beautiful mamala... I'm an old woman, you know that." Ida paused dramatically and swept her arms around in a large circle. "I shouldn't complain, god has been so good to me, blessing me with the most wooooooonderful babies!" She ended her statement in a high shrill squeak, raising her clasped hands to the ceiling.

  "Well, I'm always happy to hear that." Cayden smiled, her eyes darting back and forth between Ida and the door. "What can I do for you?"

  "Well... Honey... "The old woman started in her odd broken way of speaking, "I just came in..." Ida swallowed and took a huge breath. "Because my little sweetheart, you know my little Honey Pie who I found in a puddle exactly 73 days ago, she was so small you could drop dead..." Ida took another dramatic breath, this time with a little dance step involved. "Well, I should tell you how I fattened her up she was on the brink of death... OH I LOVE HER MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!!" Here, Ida became weepy and had to stop to gather herself.

  Cayden forced a smile, all the while dividing her attention between Ida and the door.

  Composed, as composed as Ida Friedman can be, the old woman leaned all the way over the counter. "You know, I get so verklempt over my babies... I love them so... they are my life... I'd be dead, DEAD without them, god bless every little hair on their bodies." The elderly woman wearing a floral housecoat and an orange beret, did a complete pirouette. "My Suzy Sunshine needs a new toy. You know the little balls with the bell in them, well I got a four pack for two dollars and fourteen cents last time, you remember don't you Sweetheart, Darling, you'd remember better than me, an old woman... well they came in all different colors... white with orange..."

  Brooke took Fred outside and avoided touching him for Grant's sake. She led him to the nearest fire hydrant and waited while he sniffed around. It's not so wrong for me to think Cayden is sexy is it? Does that mean I'm gay? I should have asked Bev how Sam knew... no, that's none of my business and besides, I should ask Sam not Bev and what am I getting so nervous about anyway? Just because I think Cayden is sexy? Hell, l I think women are sexy all the time. Take that woman from Witchblade... now, I think she's sexy, that don't mean I'm gay. Brooke snorted to herself. Honestly, it's not like I want to sleep with Cayden. I just thought she was attractive. Brooke's eyebrows went up. Attractive? Where'd that come from now? I only said she was sexy... actually it was her voice that made me shiver. The short blonde swallowed nervously. Is that normal? Her voice made me shiver. That's never happened to me before, not even from Witchblade. This whole line of thinking made Brooke very uneasy, but not as uneasy as how she felt when she looked at her surroundings. She was standing directly in front of The Fuzzy Belly Deli.

  "So Cupcake Junior, not Senior, Senior died 3 years ago Wednesday in May, when Cupcake Junior pulled the bell out of the ball, and the lord in heaven only knows how she did it... a genius... A GENIOUS I TELL YOU. I was so upset I cried for an hour. Of course I had to call my doctor, Dr. Myron Fentziger, only the best Psychiatrist around because you know I'm not a well woman Darling." Ida paused and looked around as if the walls had ears. "You know I lost my husband and child and had a breakdown honey, I was going to be a famous singer Sweetheart, Angel."

  To Cayden's complete and total horror, the door opened and in walked Brooke carrying the tiniest dog she'd ever seen in her life. The tall shop keeper paled and swallowed hard.

  "So, Cayden, Sweetie baby... Honey, my angel, the reason I'm here is because I need to get some more toys for my babies... the GENIOUS I SWEAR TO THE GOD THAT KEEPS ME LIVE SHE'S BRILLIANT!"

  Cayden's gaze darted nervously to Brooke who had both perfect eyebrows raised comically high. Cayden would have given her a helpless look if Mrs. Ida Friedman wasn't standing there ranting and raving with an orange beret.

  "Did I tell you, Angel, that my little Cupcake Junior saved my life? She understands English!" Ida broke into a fit of hilarious laughter. "I'm telling you! She knows every word I say!"

  Brooke bit her bottom lip in an effort not to laugh. This woman is nuts! Certifiable! Poor Cayden! However, having this lunatic in the store allowed Brooke to study the first woman that ever made her shiver. Her eyes fell immediately to Cayden's hands as they lay flat on top of the counter. She traced the long fingers with her gaze, noting the short trimmed nails and the ring she wore on the middle finger of her left hand. The skin looked soft and she wondered what it would feel like. Suddenly embarrassed, she averted her eyes to Cayden's left arm, then began to slowly follow it's length, noting with a twinge of uneasiness that she was tracing the well defined muscles of her biceps.

  Cayden felt a little thrill when she noticed Brooke giving her the once over. She decided right then and there, that with or without Jodie, she was going to pursue this further. Mrs. Ida Friedman raved and danced on and on just like she usually did, flailing her arms laughing at nothing. Where before this moment, Cayden actually didn't mind the eccentric old woman, now, she was finding her a little annoying. Brooke was standing right there, apparently interested in her or she wouldn't have come back and Ida Friedman was screaming like a crazy person.

  "The mouse with the string for a tail? You know the one, well I can't have those in my house no more!!" Ida slapped the counter for emphasis. "I once found a mouse with no string, which means one of my precious babies ate it. OH THE NIGHTMARE!"

  Cayden watched Ida twirl around in endless circles, shrieking her grief and began to get impatient.

  Brooke's gaze dropped back down to Cayden's fingers as they drummed on the counter. For a split second she imagined those strong looking hands touching her. Not a sexual touch, but gripping her shoulder tightly. She gasped in surprise as butterflies began to flutter around in her stomach.

  "OKAY, so, Ida" Cayden began, coming out from behind the counter and quickly running to a display. "These are the safest cat toys in the universe!" She declared, holding up a package. "If your little Cupcake Junior, not Senior manages to tear these up, they will refund you the entire three dollars!"

  Brooke drank in the length of the tall woman's body, especially her legs, with envy and something else... something that made her blush. Oh my god! I think In have a crush on Cayden! she thought, horrified. No.. I DO have a crush on her!

  "OH! My delightful, heaven sent, Angel!' Ida cried "You should live and be well! You sweetheart! Those are perfect!" She twirled around several times, clapped her hands together in joy and broke into a loud aria.

  Startled by the old woman's sudden operatic talents, Brooke clutched Fred tightly to her, never taking her eyes off of the crazy woman.

  Cayden ran back behind the counter to bag the toys then thrust the bag at the singing woman in the orange beret. "Here you go Ida. You make sure that they all get their own ball now!" She said excitedly, "Remember what I told you." she added, almost in a conspiratorial way to make Ida think they shared a secret.

  "My sweet! I love you! God will be good to you!" She began whispering loudly. "You know I don't get my Social until next Thursday on the fifteenth, I swear I'm good for the money, where am I going? " She clutched her hands to her chest and looked upwards. "May he strike me down dead, a charred old lady right here on the spot if I'm lying!" Ida threw her arms out as if waiting for the bolt of lightening. "I will pay you next Thursday for the indestructible balls!" she laughed loudly at nothing in particular.

  "You be well Ida." Cayden called after the old woman who she just noticed now, was wearing two different colored flip-flops.

  Brooke couldn't help herself, and whether it was Ida or her nerves, she burst out in uncontrollable laughter, which in turn caused Fred to howl along with her.

  Cayden raised her eyebrows and bit her cheek, but it didn't help. Fred's tiny little neck was extended to its very limits as he howled his heart out and Cayden joined in on th
e laughter too.

  The blonde eventually clamped her fingers around Fred's snout and began to relax. Brooke's nerves were less frazzled from the release and when she finally got a hold of herself she had forgotten all her worries as she watched Cayden laugh.

  "Ohh man.. I'm so sorry..." The tall woman apologized between chuckles. "Mrs. Friedman usually comes in on the first or fifteenth. She took me by surprise too."

  "She was.... something." Brooke giggled.

  Cayden puffed out her chest and came out from behind the counter. "So, this is Fred, huh?" She said, scratching the dog under the chin. "He's a cutie." she added when he began to lick her finger.

  "I wouldn't say he's cute... he looks a bit like a rodent if you ask me, but you can't help but love him."

  "So, what brings you back?" Cayden asked, quite sure of what Brooke's answer was going to be.

  "Oh yeah... well... Fred wanted to thank you for the treats." She said, holding the small dog at arms length. Cayden's close proximity was making her feel warm.

  "He did, did he?" The tall woman leaned her back against the counter and crossed her arms. "Is there anything else I can do for Fred?" she asked, realizing that this meeting chicks thing wasn't so hard.

  "I don't suppose..." The blonde thought for a moment. "Oh! You wouldn't have some sort of doggie cologne would you?"

  Cayden smiled toothily. "But of course." Hey, this is really easy! Hand her the cologne and ask her on a date. Piece of cake. she thought cockily. Walking over to a shelf, she thought of Wade and Jodie and how they'd react when she told them she picked up Brooke all by herself. "We have a lot of different kinds." she turned to show Brooke, but the small blonde was right behind her and she bumped right into her. "Sorry."

  "That's ok, I snuck up on you." Brooke admitted with a blush, hoping that Cayden didn't notice that she was staring at her butt. Why am I acting like this? Thoroughly embarrassed, she cleared her throat. "You pick one, surprise me."

  Why is she blushing? Oh come on, you know why she's blushing, she wants you. "Ok, I suggest CK-9. It's a knock off of CK-1. Or if he's neutered we have White Dalmatians." she joked, totally sure of herself.

  Brooke giggled like a schoolgirl. "I'll take the CK-9."

  "Okay, shall we give him a spritz?" Cayden asked, coming within inches of Brooke.

  The blonde felt unusually shy and backed up a step. "Sure, go ahead."

  Cayden sprayed Fred on his back then lifted his tail and sprayed his butt, making a funny face as she did. "All set." Ask her, ask her now... she wants you, go for it.

  "Good, it smells great! My boyfriend just hates it when I smell like dog."

  Cayden's bubble burst so hard that it was currently zooming in circles around her head, making rude fart noises. The word boyfriend echoed loudly in her ears and she suddenly felt offended. "Oh, I see." she said, trying not to let her emotions show. "It will be four dollars for the bottle." She said with a forced smile.

  "Thank you" Brooke said with a genuine smile, catching herself once again looking at Cayden's butt as she walked behind the counter.

  Cayden rang up the purchase quickly as she tried to hide her disappointment. "You have a great day now."

  "You too!" The blonde replied happily. "Maybe I'll see you again?"

  "Yeah, that would be great." Cayden nodded, swallowing her urge to sneer as she watched the blonde leave. She really had no idea why she was reacting like she was. She had no prejudices and held nothing against straight people but once Brooke said she had a boyfriend, Cayden felt hurt.

  PART 3

  THE SMALL BLONDE sat on the couch in her parents' condo, watching Fred eat his peanut butter cookie with enthusiasm. Brooke smiled as the tiny dog worked that treat with determination, having only two teeth left. A huge yawn overtook her and she leaned back and put her feet up on the coffee table. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. Brooke was exhausted and wanted to sleep more than anything, but lately, sleep hadn't come to her no matter how hard she tried. Her lips began to curl up at the sides as she replayed her recent visit to the Fuzzy Belly Deli.

  Boy, that Ida was a nut! Poor Cayden, what she has to put up with. I hope there aren't many more like her. Brooke smiled wider when she remembered Cayden's expression as Ida began to sing. Cayden. Cayden is such an unusual name. I wonder where it came from? What's her background? I never saw eyes that color blue before. Brooke's shoulders dropped down and her body began to relax. I wonder if she has a boyfriend... she's not married, unless she's one of those married people who refuse to wear a ring. She's so gorgeous, I can't imagine her being single. I know if I were a guy I'd be all over her. The blonde felt her cheeks get warm. I can't believe I thought that. She giggled nervously. I'm not a guy. I'm not supposed to be thinking that way... unless it's true and I really do have a crush on her. Brooke felt her heart begin to race and she took several deep calming breaths to bring it back to normal. No reason to panic. It's perfectly normal for a woman to have a crush on another woman. It happens all the time. She nodded trying to convince herself. You hear the stories of girls having crushes on their teachers, and babysitters.... uh oh... I'm not a teenager with a case of hero worship am I? I'm a grown woman. Blonde eyebrows furrowed. Ok, so I have a crush, so what? It's not like I want to have sex with her... I wouldn't even know what to do. Brooke's head lolled back and visions of Cayden's smile filled her head. She thought about their brief conversation and how the tall woman behaved and she gasped out loud. You know? I think she was flirting with me! The blonde blushed. Yes! She was! Sooo, she's gay huh? Well, gay or not, I'm sure she's taken, she's too attractive not to be and why do I even care? I'm not interested in her that way. I just want to be her friend. Yeah, that's it, her friend.

  A happy feeling washed over Brooke and in less than five minutes, she was sound asleep.

  Cayden rushed off of the subway and hurried home. She had picked up a pint of Ben & Jerry's and it was at that perfect melty stage. The tall woman had a date with her bed, the remote, and a spoon, and she couldn't wait. It was the only date she ever looked forward to. Her pride hurt and she didn't know why. She didn't ask Brooke out, so she never really got shot down, but she felt awful just the same. Yes, my bed, and a spoon, she thought as she fished her keys out of her back pack. Just me and my ice cream. Cayden kicked the front door closed behind her and tossed her keys on the table. "I'm home." she called out wearily as she pulled off her shoes. Unable to wait until she got to her room, she took off her sweaty top as she entered the kitchen. She retrieved a spoon and stuck it in her mouth, opening her shorts on the way out.

  "Hey, in here." Wade said from the living room.

  Cayden balled up her shirt and stuck it under her arm as she turned for the living room. She knew she'd have to share her grief with Wade sooner or later, and she opted for later, knowing he'd allow her the time. All she wanted was the quiet safe haven of her bed. "Hey, I'm not much in the mood..." Cayden stopped short of the couch in horror.

  "Um... Cayden... this is Shelly. You did remember you had a date tonight?"

  The tall woman held her balled up shirt to her chest in an attempt to cover herself. "Oh... yeah... right..." she stammered, glaring dangerously at Wade, the spoon still in her mouth.

  Shelly, never taking her eyes from Cayden's well filled out bra, stood and held out her hand.

  Cayden, one hand holding her shirt, the other a pint of melting ice cream, shrugged. "Umm, I better..." she nodded at her bedroom and ran away.

  Wade chuckled nervously and ran after her, leaving Shelly sitting there grinning like a wolf. He tapped lightly at the closed door just as he heard the spoon hit a wall, and prayed Cayden would forgive him.

  "I hate you."

  "No you don't," he said, entering the room. "You love me."

  "Not now I don't. GOD! I was standing there in my bra!"

  "Oh please, like a lesbian never saw a woman in her bra before."

  "Wade!"

  "Alright, so you're embarrassed right now, it's n
ot the end of the world. Would it make you feel better if I went in there without any pants?"

  "Fuck off."

  Wade cringed. "Honey, it's okay, really."

  "Easy for you to say, and what the hell is that out there anyway? You said she had one tattoo! She's covered in them! And she's HUGE!"

  "Yeah, well... so she's a little muscular. You never minded the occasional butch."

  "Butch? Wade, she's a little more than butch. You know that's not my type!" Cayden threw herself on the bed and frowned.

  "She's really sweet. La La Bird likes her."

  "La La Bird is no great judge of character. He loves you."

  "Come on Cayd, just go out to dinner with her."

  "No. I'm not going, make up some excuse."

  "Cay..."

  "NO! I don't want to go anywhere with anyone, especially someone that looks like that!"

  "Okay, what's wrong? This is much more than Shelly."

  Cayden sighed heavily and flopped across her bed. "I had a bad day, a really bad day. I shouldn't take it out on you or Shelly, but I really want to be alone tonight." she pouted.

  "Honey, maybe going out will take your mind off of the bad day."

  "I'm not going anywhere with her. No. She's covered in tattoos, she's one big walking bicep. Wade I like women! She's not a woman!"

  Wade leaned over Cayden and raised both his eyebrows in surprise. She was never so abrasive. "What's gotten into you?"

  Cayden slumped deeper down into the bed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't say things like that, I had a really really bad day."

  He knew the answer to the question already but had to ask. "Wanna talk?"

  "Not really. Maybe later. Wade, I really don't want to go anywhere tonight."

  "Please, pretty please..." he stuck out his bottom lip and put his head on her lap, whimpering.

  "No, Wade!" she insisted, moving out of the way of La La as he jumped on the bed. "And watch it!" She told the cat who was sniffing the ice cream.