It Might Be You

by Jennifer Gracen

You mentioned that the other day.

  Can I take you out to dinner on Saturday?

  Her response didn’t come in for a minute that felt longer than a minute. Finally she wrote, You think that’s a good idea?

  He winced but wrote back, All I know is I’d love to see you again before I leave. We could just hang out, Amanda. No pressure. Think it over, let me know.

  With a sigh, he stared up at the lights around him. Flashing billboards advertising designer clothes, pretty girls in skimpy outfits, dancing around and showing off their bodies. All he wanted was some time with a down-to-earth woman who usually wore scrubs and tennis shoes. A woman he’d had a shot with before he’d done something dumb. A woman he wanted another shot with, because for whatever reason, she’d gotten under his skin.

  He didn’t want to think about that too much. Maybe it was best this way, her cutting him off after all. Fling or no fling, he didn’t want to end up hurting her, and no matter what she said and how cool she played it sometimes, he knew that was a possibility. Because he’d already hurt her once, inadvertently and on a minor scale. The thought of hurting her on a grander scale made him skittish.

  Three minutes passed. He sighed and went to put his phone away, but it buzzed with a new text. I thought it over. Yes to dinner. What time?

  His smile bloomed wide and bright. All the “maybe we’re better off” thoughts evaporated like mist, replaced by the buzz of excitement and something like hope.

  * * *

  Amanda nudged the food on her plate around with her fork. The food, as usual at this place, was great. But it was hard to eat when she had a bit of a nervous stomach, due to the very handsome man sitting across from her.

  Nick had picked her up in front at six on the dot. He’d texted her when he arrived at her building and she’d gone right down to meet him. Simply dressed in a white button-down and jeans, he managed to make it sexy as hell. She’d enjoyed the ride with him more than she’d thought she would. He’d handled the sleek car with command, like he did everything else, and that was sexy too. She’d enjoyed sitting in the close, enclosed space, breathing in the smell of him, a hint of spicy cologne and something just brutally male that was all him. She’d liked that he’d asked her where she would like to go for dinner and taken her up on her suggestion without hesitation.

  Now they sat in her favorite Chinese restaurant, the table covered with plates of steamed dumplings, chicken with broccoli, shrimp with bean sprouts, and pork lo mein, because he’d asked her to pick her favorites so they could share. He tried every dish and, thankfully, liked them all. He made her laugh with his stories of going out the night before with Pierce and Dane. Apparently, his two brothers had been quite the party boys back in their day, and still liked to uphold the rep whenever an opportunity arose. Nick assured her he’d kept up and his man card was in good standing, that he’d had the hangover this morning to prove it. He’d had a good time with them, and she was glad for him.

  Talking with him was easy, as it’d been from the start, not at all stilted—which meant the bump in the road from earlier in the week was officially in the rearview mirror. The food here was delicious, as always. Her one glass of white wine was helping her relax. Amanda realized how completely she was enjoying her date with Nick, and it kind of jarred her. Being with him was just so . . . well, easy. She was comfortable with him, even though the butterflies hadn’t let up, and she knew part of that was the unrestrained, dizzying lust that ran through her every damn time she looked at him. The man radiated sex appeal. He was so smoking hot it was ridiculous.

  She didn’t want to want him as much as she did. She didn’t want to like him as much as she did. She wanted to keep things casual. She had to.

  But she remembered what he’d said a few days before, about how if they lived in the same place, he’d be pursuing her, wanting to really date her. And that had gotten into her head and heart more than she wanted to admit.

  “Amanda?” he asked, waving his hand in front of her face. “You zoned out. Am I boring you?”

  Her face flushed even as she laughed. “No, no, you’re not boring. I’m sorry.”

  “Thinking about Myles, maybe?” he asked softly.

  That made her feel even worse for some reason. “Actually, it was the first time I haven’t been. You’ve provided a wonderful, much-needed distraction tonight. I’m having a good time. Thanks for that.”

  He nodded, smiled warmly, and reached for his bottle of beer. As he tipped it back for a sip, she couldn’t help but watch his throat work, his full lips around the bottle neck.... He made a simple white button-down shirt look downright dashing. It was tight around the muscles in his arms and across his broad shoulders and chest, the top two buttons undone to reveal a glimpse of his smooth, dark gold skin. She imagined what it’d be like to unbutton his shirt and slide it off him, her hands gliding over his body. . . . She swallowed hard.

  She wanted to throw herself at him tonight.

  She wanted to forget about the week she’d had, especially the last few long, hard days of caring for Myles. She wanted to be reckless and wild, to feel alive in the face of such sadness and sickness. She wanted to be with Nick . . . taste, lick, and nibble and touch every smoking-hot inch of him.

  It wasn’t smart. It wasn’t like her. And she couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Lost you again,” he said.

  She drew a shaky breath, trying to get her heart to stop fluttering. “I . . . I’m distracted, I admit it.”

  “By what?”

  “You.”

  One of his brows lifted the tiniest bit, and the side of his mouth curved just enough to make his dimple appear. Her nipples hardened instantly. God, she was toast.

  “What about me?” His voice dropped, infused with flirty seduction.

  “You’re sitting there all gorgeous and it makes me have dirty thoughts.” Had she said that? Yeah, judging from the way his eyes flashed, she’d said that out loud. She snorted at herself. Might as well go for it. Just do it. Have a night with him. Feel alive, fight the darkness . . . “You’re leaving in the morning, right?” she blurted.

  His head inclined as he said, “You know I am.”

  She glanced at the clock on her cell phone. It was seven-fifteen. They had all night, if they grabbed it. “So I’m going to say this, and it’s probably a bad idea, but dammit, I’m saying it.”

  He stilled, but the half grin stayed and he didn’t take his eyes off hers. “I’m listening.”

  “The more I look at you, the more I think about it, the more I . . . I want you. Tonight. Before you go, I want one round with you.”

  His dark eyes flared. “Just one?”

  “Oh, God.” A fluttery laugh escaped her as a rush of dampness throbbed between her legs. He was lethal. “Nick, I don’t usually do reckless things.”

  “I believe that.”

  “You do? Why?”

  “Because you’re so levelheaded. Really smart. No pretense. Seem to have zero tolerance for bullshit.”

  “All that’s true,” she agreed.

  “And I like those qualities. Also . . . well, there’s your famously non-reckless dating choices.” His thick brows lifted. “We’ve discussed that, though.”

  “You know what?” She leaned in on her elbows to hold his stare. “Not completely. You didn’t let me fully explain last time, but I’m going to now, if that’s all right.”

  “I’m all ears,” he said, and speared a piece of chicken from his plate. “Hit me.”

  “When I was a sophomore in college,” she said, “I had a boyfriend, a junior, who was wild. A real bad boy. And I was such a good girl. I’d never been with a guy like that before. We were opposites, but we were attracted as hell to each other. So we dated.” Her mouth twitched wryly. “Remember when you asked me about the last time a man really rocked my world in bed? It was him. I’d never had sex like that, not before and not since. I’m just being honest.”

  Nick’s eyes widened a drop, but he
only nodded and took a sip of his beer.

  “Anyway . . . Cooper,” Amanda said, her voice gentling on his name, “Coop and I really, really cared about each other, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We were total opposites, but we really connected. So it was a thrill ride, and it was thrilling, but it was also kind of exhausting. Coop was intense. He was fun and exciting . . . but after a few months, it got dizzying.” She stole a sip of her wine. “I was from here, he was from Tennessee. When we both went home for that summer, back to our families, I decided we needed to take a break.”

  “Forever, or just for the summer?” Nick asked. He kept eating while she talked.

  “I guess we would’ve gotten back together in the fall, I don’t know. I’d asked for some space. I needed to . . . ground myself again. My grades had gone down a bit that last semester, and I knew I needed to refocus, because I wasn’t going to get into a good nursing program if my grades weren’t good. Coop didn’t like it, but he accepted it. We talked a few times, but didn’t visit each other . . . so I never saw him again. Because one night that July, he went out on his motorcycle and got himself killed. No helmet. No, Coop was too cool for that. He was one of the most fearless people I’ve ever known. And an adrenaline junkie. And too fucking reckless. Dead at twenty.”

  “Damn,” Nick said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I was too. Such a goddamn waste . . .” She sighed, willfully shoving the memories aside. “So . . . I mourned him for a long time. I focused on my schoolwork, and I didn’t have another serious boyfriend for the rest of college. I was a little screwed up over it.”

  “Understandable.”

  “Then I started nursing school, and I just didn’t have the time to date. I mean, I went on a date here and there, but I really was too committed to the program to commit to a guy or even think about having a relationship at that point.”

  “I think I see where this is going,” Nick said, putting down his fork.

  “No, you don’t. Let me finish.” Amanda took a deep breath. “My first week doing a rotation in the ER, they brought in two cops who’d been shot. One made it, but the other didn’t. The one who didn’t had a pregnant wife out in the waiting room, and she’d left their toddler at home with her mother when she got the call.” She closed her eyes briefly, licked her dry lips. “I’ll never be able to get that woman’s wails of grief out of my head for as long as I live. They bounced off the hospital walls, I swear. It was . . .”

  Nick’s jaw was tight as he reached for Amanda’s hand. He gripped it and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  “It brought back my memories of grieving over Coop,” Amanda said, “which of course paled in comparison to this poor woman, seven months pregnant on her knees on the hospital floor, wailing for her husband to come back to her.” Please don’t be dead, Vinny. . . . Please open your eyes, please don’t be dead, come back to me. . . . Would she ever be able to get that woman’s anguished cries out of her head? She cleared her throat to dislodge the lump that had formed. “Nick, I swore to myself that night that I’d never again get involved with men who put themselves in the line of danger. It hurt bad enough when I lost Coop, but wouldn’t it be a million times worse if I invested in another relationship with someone like that and lost him too? I just . . .”

  Her face flushed as she took in his somber expression. She hoped she wasn’t upsetting him, but how could she not be? She squeezed his hand hard. “I decided that long before I knew you existed. I have tremendous respect for cops, firefighters, all you guys. It’s nothing against you personally. Can you understand that? Because I hate that I offended you the other day, and I wanted you to understand why I’ve made the choices I have. I don’t owe you or anyone an explanation . . . but I like you enough that I wanted to provide you with one.”

  He squeezed her hand back and said, low and gruff, “Of course I get it. And thank you for telling me. I . . . I like understanding you better. It helps.”

  With her free hand, Amanda reached for her wineglass and knocked back a hearty gulp of Chardonnay.

  “So when I said I’d want to date you if you lived in Miami,” he said slowly, “and we’d already talked about my job, and my promotion . . . it set off warning bells for you.”

  “That’s exactly what happened.”

  “Okay. I get it now. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. The truth is, I like knowing you’d want to date me, not just sleep with me. It’s flattering as hell. But I . . . if I dated you, I’d . . . I’d worry about you all the time. I don’t want to.”

  He nodded, lips pressed together tight.

  “And I know that’s selfish. But you know what? It’s not even up for debate anyway, because I live here, and you live in Miami. Case closed.”

  “Yup. Guess so.”

  They smiled at each other softly, their fingers interlaced.

  “Thanks for telling me all that,” he said, his voice gentle. “We’re good.”

  “So . . .” She drew another deep breath. “What I started to say was, you’re leaving tomorrow. You won’t be here for very long when you come back before the surgery, your weeks of recovery. . . .” She set the wineglass down with care, trying to ignore the warmth of his large hand wrapped around hers. “Come home with me tonight. Let’s have one really good night together. Just . . . be together and let go of it all for a night. Forget everything. I think we both probably need that. Yes?”

  His lips parted in shock as his eyes flew wide. “Hell yes. But whoa.” He laughed and cleared his throat. “Give me a second here—I think my brain just exploded.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Kind of surprised myself with that one too. Well. How’s that for an up-front girl?”

  “I think my up-front girl is the sexiest girl I’ve met in a really long time,” he said, his voice low and hungry.

  My up-front girl. She shivered at how delicious that sounded.

  His warm brown eyes darkened with growing desire. “Amanda, I want you too. So much. I’ve wanted you from the first night I saw you.”

  She smiled and her heart began beating faster.

  “And yeah . . .” His slow grin was wicked. “We haven’t known each other that long, and I’m a cop so I break your rules, and I’m leaving in the morning and all . . . so, on paper, it might be a bad idea for us to sleep together tonight.”

  “Terrible,” she agreed. “It’s rash. Clearly we’re not thinking this through.”

  “Exactly. Totally impulsive, jumping into bed so soon. It’s reckless.”

  “Yup. That. I mean, we’ve only gone on what, three dates?”

  “Four, technically, but who’s counting?”

  “You, apparently.”

  His playful grin went into a full-blown smile, dazzling her. “So, okay, we’re on the same page: this could be a bad idea. But we’re two adults who are agreeing to this with eyes wide open, so it’s fine.” His eyes flared with heat and he licked his lips. “And the thought of having you has me so hard right now, I can’t even stand up. But when I can, we’re going back to your place, and I’m gonna take you in ten different ways.”

  Her mouth dropped open and her heart skipped a beat before taking off like a rocket. She felt the blood rush from her chest to her hairline as she smiled back. The throbbing between her legs had her shifting in her seat, making her aware of how wet she already was. “That . . . sounds really good to me.”

  Nick raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, his warm lips lingering on her skin. “Then let’s finish dinner.” His voice was as smoky as the look in his eyes. “I want you for dessert.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nick could barely think, much less think clearly. The thought of getting his hands on Amanda had his blood stirring, every nerve ending lit up and alert. Once they got back in his car, he asked her to tell him where to turn to get back to her apartment building. At least after she said, “Umm . . . I don’t have condoms at my place. Any chance you have one?” he had the pr
esence of mind to pull into the first Walgreens he saw.

  “Can we also get some snacks?” she asked with a grin.

  He smacked a kiss on her mouth and tweaked her nose playfully. “Whatever you want, tell me now.”

  “Any kind of cheddar popcorn,” she said. “And peanut M&M’s.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes. I have a feeling you’re going to make me work up an appetite tonight.”

  “You know it.” He kissed her again. “Be right back.”

  Fifteen minutes later, they stepped into the lobby of her building. Nick scanned his surroundings. The five-story building was small and modest, with a buzzer, security doors, and security cameras. Clean and well cared for . . . seemed like a good place.

  “You approve, Officer?” Amanda asked, watching him with a bemused smirk.

  He couldn’t help but grin. “Yes. Did you read my mind?”

  “You’re casing the joint.”

  “I am not.”

  “You so are.”

  Still grinning, he finally shrugged. “Occupational hazard.”

  “This is a safe building, really. Also a nice one. I’ve lived here for four years and, luckily, never had any major issues,” she said as they walked. “Never heard of any break-ins. The other tenants either say hi as they pass or mind their business, but no one’s been nasty.” She pressed the button at the elevator. “And the best part is, my roommate—who’s lovely, by the way—is rarely home the same time I am.”

  “Hope she’s not there tonight,” Nick said as they stepped into the chamber. “Because she’ll get an earful.” As soon as the doors slid closed, he backed her against the wall and lowered his head for a deep, hungry kiss. His free hand stayed at her waist, but gave a little squeeze. As his tongue swept into her mouth, her hands came up to hold his face and run through his hair. His other hand, still holding the plastic bag, made a crinkling noise as his fingers curled into a fist. God, he wanted her. Blood raced through his veins and his cock already felt heavy. He kissed her until the doors opened.

  When Amanda opened the door to her apartment, it was dark. “Yessss,” she whispered victoriously. He chuckled as she flipped on the lights and he followed her inside, looking around as he set the plastic bag down on the glass coffee table. Small living room, decorated with a clearly feminine bent. Modern, neat, earthy colors.