by Gigi Marlowe
Their kiss was soft and sweet. When Patrick pulled back he brushed his thumb lightly against AJ’s cheek. He took a step back from her and said: “I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.” Just as AJ went to agree with him, Stephanie walked back in the room. She smiled a mischievous smile as she dropped the flannel pants and cotton T-shirt on the kitchen table. Embarrassed, AJ released Patrick's hands and backed away.
“Goodnight,” she said.
“Goodnight,” Patrick replied. She could see that he was longing to say more to her. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear it from him. AJ wasn't really sure how she felt at all. She was taken aback by the fact that she felt so comfortable around Patrick. She felt like when he was with her the whole world was right.
As AJ sat down in her room, she thought more about Patrick. She wondered if her feelings were just coincidental, or if they were real. Thinking back on how Patrick had warmed up to her in the past weeks, she realized that somewhere along the way she had warmed up to him, too. The idea frightened her. How could she have fallen for a client, and more than that, how could she have developed such deep feelings without realizing it? She was an independent woman, after all. She didn’t need anyone, a man, a husband. Her only desire was her ambition. But it seemed to her, as the memory of their kiss lingered on her lips, that she might just need Patrick.
Chapter 6
Patrick watched his best friend, Jamal David Malik, or JD as his friends called, scoot his chair closer to the webcam. The two had just finished a leadership table meeting with The Clean Water Project via a Skype call. It was JD who had first introduced Patrick to The Clean Water Project. The two had met when Patrick had to go to Senegal to deal with a case of cybersecurity for the US embassy there. After a long day of searching through databases to try and find an undercover hacker who was using the embassy computers, he had retreated to the bar at his hotel lobby. Little did he know that the man who he had sat down next to that afternoon would become his closest friend.
JD was originally from the area but had been adopted at a young age. He had told Patrick that while he and his adopted parents both still resided in London, he often traveled back to Senegal. “I feel indebted to the family and the people I left behind,” JD had said the night they had met. “My adoption set me on the road to success. I want to do that for others.” Patrick remembered how somber JD had been. It was then that JD had told Patrick all about The Clean Water Project.
Patrick had been enamored by their mission to end the water crisis in various communities, many in Africa. From that day on, Patrick had immediately taken up the cause and invested in the organization as much as he could. In fact, they were the reason he had bought his jet. Although he could afford frequent flights to volunteer at all of the global job sites, he noticed that many of the volunteers he met struggled to come as frequently as they wanted to. He then decided that he would create and fund the Walker for Water Scholarship. At the beginning of each new project, Patrick and the leadership team would interview and select talented volunteers that needed financial assistance with airfare to receive free transportation.
In their leadership table meeting tonight, JD had suggested that the Walker for Water Scholarship could be used as a means to find interns for the organization. The idea wasn’t new to Patrick - he and JD had discussed it several times. Patrick personally liked the idea. He thought that the addition of interns, particularly to each volunteer location, would help in the organization’s continued impact in communities.
After every other member of the team had signed off, save himself and JD, Patrick’s thoughts began to slowly drift to AJ. He wondered if she would ever volunteer with him at one of the project sites. He thought back to how willing she was to drop everything to rush to her family’s side. He had watched her carefully in the month that followed, and he could tell that she was almost like a kindred spirit to him. She understood exactly what he meant to say, even if he had difficulty saying it. He thought about how they had made a weekly routine of getting coffee together.
Sometimes they would talk about his house design, which AJ had nicknamed “Project Homebound”. It had a dual meaning for her, referring to Patrick’s reclusive ways, and, the journey toward his sanctuary; his ideal, perfect home. They often talked about her goals for her career. He felt honored that she would trust him enough to tell him all about her childhood and how it affected her today. He thought about how she had told him everything about herself she could think of. He knew everything from her favorite color to the fact that she often swore she had a banana allergy just because she hated bananas. Anticipation trickled through Patrick as he considered exactly how to explain AJ to his best friend, JD. Patrick had always sought JD’s opinions about his past relationships without hesitation and JD, to his credit, had never been wrong when he predicted their eventual outcome. Patrick now wondered what JD would predict concerning AJ.
“So tell me about this new girl,” JD said interrupting Patrick’s very thoughts about her.
“She’s amazing. She’s smart, funny, and I feel like we’ve known each other forever.”
“Do you think she likes you?”
“Well,” Patrick thought about the night in AJ’s parents’ kitchen that they kissed. He had felt an instant chemistry, a spark, between them. He wasn’t sure what made him be so impulsive, it wasn’t normally his style to kiss a woman before they had even had a first date. But his head felt all topsy-turvy with AJ. After that night, AJ had not mentioned the kiss to Patrick. But he could see that with each conversation, her eyes lingered briefly on his lips. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but he thought she wanted to kiss him again just as badly as he wanted to kiss her. “I’m not sure how she feels about me, really.”
“Have you asked her?”
“You can’t just ask someone who’s building your house if they have feelings for you.”
“But you have feelings for her, right?”
“I think I do.” Patrick thought about how the best part of any day was seeing AJ. “I'm pretty sure that I do.”
“Pretty sure? Why the hesitation?” Patrick looked at JD. Even through the computer screen, he could see that his best friend had Patrick’s own interest at heart. To Patrick, it seemed that JD knew the answer maybe even before he did. JD always had a way of knowing exactly what was on Patrick’s mind, and often, in his heart.
“In all honesty, I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. The only other woman that I’ve loved–”
“ -Love!” JD leaned closer to the monitor with a giant grin on his face
“What I meant to say is had strong feelings for,” Patrick blushed. He considered what he just said. Was he in love with AJ? What he felt seemed so much deeper than love, but he had no other word for what he felt. Besides, he questioned if he could really love someone who he just met. He tried to ignore the fact that whenever he thought about his future, he was beginning to see AJ’s fingerprints all throughout it. He couldn't imagine the rest of his life without her, because in the short two months that they’d known each other, she had become such an integral part of it. Patrick sighed and put his head in his hands. “It’s just so different,” he finally admitted.
“You can’t be afraid to put yourself out there, Patrick”, JD said. “From everything you’ve told me about AJ, she doesn’t seem like the same kind of person Jasmine was”. Patrick considered what JD said. Jasmine was the ultimate problem. He had spent a considerable amount of time trying to compare AJ to Jasmine. Jasmine had been a fiery, passionate woman, who had known exactly what she wanted and didn’t care to hurt him in the process. She had always put herself first whenever they were together. But AJ was completely different. AJ was constantly proving that she would do almost anything to put Patrick at ease. Unlike Jasmine, AJ showed a keen interest in everything that concerned Patrick.
Even when the two shared a difference of opinion, AJ never demanded that Patrick yield to her opinion. Everything about AJ was sof
t and subtle, a vast contradiction to Jasmine. Patrick suddenly felt warmer as he remembered the kiss he and AJ had shared. Even their kiss was a stark contrast to the kisses he and Jasmine had shared. While Jasmine's kisses were hot-blooded, AJ’s had felt like cool water that quenched a thirst he didn’t know he had.
“But I’m her client, JD. What if that’s all she sees me as, her client?”
“If you let the “what ifs” in life stop you from pursuing your own happiness, then all you’ll get in return is sleepless nights.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
“You take her on a date and test out the waters. It's clear to me that you need to see how she’ll feel about you in a non-professional setting, right?” Patrick, consider this. “Take her somewhere where you both can see just how you feel about each other.”
As JD and Patrick’s conversation turned to the latest news about JD’s life, Patrick considered just what his friend had suggested. It was a splendid idea, really. All he had to do was work up the courage to ask. Patrick made up his mind that he would ask AJ out tonight. The idea slightly unnerved him, because he’d never been as vulnerable with a woman as he was being with AJ. But, he knew that if he didn’t want to be haunted by the “what ifs” of AJ, he would need to see how she felt about him.
AJ adjusted her red cocktail dress as she evaluated her reflection in her full-length mirror. She had styled her blonde hair in soft, billowing waves and had highlighted her soft pink mouth with light-colored lipstick. This was the best she had looked for a date in a long time. AJ still couldn’t believe that she had agreed to go on a date with Patrick.
She had been conflicted since their first kiss about her feelings for Patrick. At first, when they had met again to discuss his house, she would feel an unmistakable desire to kiss him again. As she had wrestled with these desires, she had hoped that she was merely over-romanticizing what had happened. If she was, then she could get back to focusing solely on work, instead of constantly daydreaming about Patrick. But, in the weeks that followed, she found herself thinking of him more and more. He was so much sweeter than she had first imagined him to be. The more time they spent together, the more she saw the true side of Patrick. He was always willing to listen to AJ’s ideas for how to improve the communities around San Francisco and he was probably the most supportive man she had ever met. He always backed her every idea, dream, goal.
When he had called her and asked her out, she had been in awe by his question. AJ had been daydreaming about what it would be like to date Patrick. She had spent many nights falling asleep to visions of what it would feel like to hold Patrick’s hand as they walked along the beach or what it would feel like to snuggle in close to his chest as they watched a movie.
AJ’s doorbell rang. Nervously, she checked her reflection once more before answering the door. Patrick stood on her stoop with a dozen red roses. His eyes quickly took in the splendor of her dress before he said, “You look breathtaking, AJ.” She smiled as she observed his light gray suit. She had never seen him look quite as dashing as he did now. He reminded her of a gallant knight. Her heart thudded as he took her hand and walked her to his car. For tonight, he had driven a white Porsche Cayman and AJ found herself marveling at its luxury. He held the door open for her and as she climbed inside, she had to remind herself not to sink into the form-fitting leather seats.
“I’m really glad you agreed to go out on an official date with me, AJ,” Patrick said as he drove away from her house. “I think you’re really going to like what we’re going to do.” Patrick flashed AJ a winning a smile.
“Knowing you, Patrick, I’m sure it’ll be something I would never expect.” AJ smiled back at him. He responded with a ready wink that made AJ gulp. Patrick had an easy charm about him that made her heart forget how to function on its own. When he had asked her on the date, he had said that he wanted to explore the possibility of them dating. AJ knew that if she wanted to actually date Patrick, she would have to get past her nerves and get to know him now that he seemed more willing to share about himself. As they rode in a comfortable silence, Patrick reached for the radio, then he paused.
“What’s your favorite song?”
AJ paused as she thought about it. “‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman.” AJ wasn’t sure if Patrick would know the song or not, but she did know that if she wanted to see if their relationship could go anywhere, she would have to be one hundred percent transparent with him. A smirk teased Patrick’s lips as he reached for an AUX cord. Then he flipped through his phone until AJ could hear Tracy Chapman’s voice purring from his car speakers. Patrick rolled his window down and stuck his arm out. AJ couldn’t resist the urge to do the same thing herself. Together, they both sang and laughed as they both strained to be louder than the wind whipping in and out of the sports car. By the end of the song, AJ’s cheeks hurt from laughing so much. She felt instantly more relaxed and gazed at the rugged coastline out her window.
“So, where are we going?”
“Do you want to know, or do you want it to be a surprise?” AJ loved the fact that Patrick gave her the choice. Ordinarily, she hated the unknown that accompanied surprises, but Patrick was beginning to show her that spontaneity was much better than rigid plans.
“Surprise me,” she giggled as Patrick zoomed around a curve. Patrick smiled as he reached over for her hand. She let him lace his fingers through hers before she said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“I think that’s only fair since I asked you one,” he said.
“Why me?”
Patrick studied the road ahead of him deep in thought.
“Because,” he began slowly, “I think you might just be what I need in my life.” He looked at her and AJ could see the unease in his eyes. He was completely unguarded and AJ had a suspicion that that had something to do with how vulnerable she was willing to let herself be around him.
“Me too,” she answered and she meant it. Patrick made her think about life outside of her job. He helped to calibrate her focus when she felt frazzled.
“So, it’s my turn, right?” Patrick asked as he squeezed her hand. “I get to ask you a question.” Patrick made a big show of thinking about his question before he asked, “What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever watched?” AJ burst into laughter. She had expected a question more personal and taxing than the one he gave her. Still, she answered him and together the two bounced questions off of each other until they pulled up to a harbor. AJ saw a boat rocking gently on the waves.
“Is that for us?”
Patrick nodded. “I thought that we could go whale watching,” he said as he reached into the backseat and pulled out two pairs of binoculars and two ponchos. AJ almost squealed in excitement. She loved all animals, and she knew that sharing this experience with Patrick would be amazing. During the private tour, Patrick held AJ close as they watched for sea life. They saw sea lions and harbor seals lounging on the rocks. Then, right as the sun set, they spotted a pod of Humpback Whales. The small pod each took turns breaching in the breaking waves. The sound of their mammoth bodies slapping the water’s surface caused AJ and Patrick to cheer.
The rest of the night seemed like a dream to AJ. Patrick had reserved for them a private patio table at one of the best restaurants in town. Together the two had laughed and talked. AJ knew that after this night there was no way she could deny her feelings for Patrick.
“AJ,” Patrick said later that evening as they sat in his family room on the sofa. A bowl of popcorn set on the coffee table in front of them as the credits of a movie played softly in the background. AJ was comfortably curled up underneath a plush blanket next to Patrick. “I want to be honest with you about how I feel,” Patrick said as he pulled her close against him. “I’ve never felt the way that I do for you for anyone else,” he confessed, “the last relationship that I was in ended up leaving me a little broken.” Patrick looked away guiltily. Struck by his honesty and willingness to show a part of himself he obviously kept hidden
to most, AJ reassuringly reached for his hand.
“I know how you feel,” she said. “Everyone that I’ve been with, I could never see myself being with for too long. But with you,” AJ let her voice drift away. She wasn’t sure if she could see a future with Patrick, but she knew she that she wanted to see more of him. And that absolutely terrified her.
“I’d love to keep seeing you,” Patrick admitted bashfully. “I don’t want you to just be my architect, I want you to be more.”
AJ blushed as she considered his offer. What would it be like to be more with Patrick, to have to carve out time in her schedule to allow for a real romance, something more than casual dating? Could she handle the idea of letting herself fall for someone when she had least expected it? These questions did not stop AJ from agreeing to date Patrick. It was only later that night, when she was alone, that she succumbed to the onslaught of her doubts, fears, trepidations. AJ felt like she was betraying herself and her ambitions by agreeing to continue dating Patrick. How could she do this to herself? What if her feelings grew into something deeper and led her to a place she was not prepared to go?
Chapter 7
AJ threw away her latest sketch for Patrick’s house. She sighed as she closed the binder that held all of her design ideas. As she examined the front cover, she thought about the nickname she had given it; “Project Homebound”. This was the first time that AJ had ever let her personal feelings about a client get in the way of her ability to design for them. Then again, this was the first time she ever had feelings for someone like she did for Patrick. They had been dating seriously for close to two months. AJ had loved every moment that they had spent together. And that was the problem. Ever since she had started spending more time with Patrick, AJ had been completely distracted from her work. When she should have been designing a house that Patrick loved, she was stuck envisioning what it would be like if she and Patrick shared the house together.