Not Exactly Lying

by Melody Summers

  “Good job catching him, Molly. He needs a real girlfriend to keep him honest—and playing the way he has been so far this season.”

  “I’ll do my best,” I said. I still didn’t believe his playing had anything at all to do with me, but it seemed rude to say so.

  “What can I get for you?”

  After she took our order and vanished into the back, Quinn eyed me with amusement.

  “I didn’t even know she knew my name,” I said with a shrug.

  “You’d be surprised. I haven’t exactly kept my interest in you a secret.”

  “Yeah. Daniel told me that everybody knows about this thing between us. I guess they all thought it was inevitable and were just waiting for it to happen.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “Well, it could have happened sooner if somebody hadn’t kept shooting me down any time I tried to get anywhere.”

  “I know.” I blushed and dropped my gaze to the colorful bowl of chips between us.

  “Aw, Molly. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. We’re here now and that’s all that matters, right?”

  Slowly I looked up and tumbled deep into those bright blue eyes again. “Yes.”

  “And now while we wait for dinner, I’ll begin the interrogation.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Interrogation?”

  “Yep. What’s your favorite color?”

  So he asked silly questions about me and teased until I loosened up, and he even managed to coax out a few laughs. There was no one around us so I didn’t have to be nervous about that. It was just me and him, and I was finding out fast that my anxiety usually took a hike whenever we were together.

  Afterwards we went for ice cream and drove around for a while with me basking in this new feeling of closeness that was so different from what I had with my other friends. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before, not like anything I’d ever even imagined before. Passion I understood—that one was easy—but I’d never before felt so much like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

  “Want to go to the beach?” he asked.

  “The beach?”

  “Sure. It’s cooled off and there’s a nice breeze.”

  The sun was setting behind us as we walked hand-in-hand towards the surf, and then he turned off and led me along the marge of the dunes. It took me a minute to realize where we were. There was the bench—our bench—where we’d made out that night three months ago. Quinn was watching me with a smile, and I grinned back.

  “I think someone’s hoping for an instant replay.”

  “Nah, we can do better than that. We’ve had more practice since then.”

  We sat down and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me as the stars grew bright overhead and twinkled down on us. When we finally came up for air, Quinn tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

  “What do you say we make this permanent?”

  I drew back and stared at him. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

  That got a startled laugh. “No, but I think you’d be an outstanding girlfriend. And Sylvia said we make a cute couple.”

  I took a deep breath. Well, I’d wanted him to drop me a clue. “I’d like that.”

  “It isn’t too scary for you? We can take it slower if you’d like.”

  “No. This is what I want. You. Us.”

  He grinned. “I knew this bench was magic.”

  I think he was right about that, too. I certainly felt enchanted later that night when he dropped me off. Mom took one look at me and burst into giggles.

  “Oh, sweetheart, you look like the cat that ate the canary.”

  I made a face at her, but she wouldn’t stop.

  “I’m so happy for you. I was afraid you’d never open up enough to find a boy.”

  “I’m happy for me, too,” I admitted.

  “He’s one of the good ones, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah, Mom. He is.”

  I went to Quinn’s games religiously, and we went on dates when we could, and he walked me to class and started having lunch with the rest of my friends. In between all of that we kissed. A lot. As far as I was concerned, life was perfect.

  A couple of weeks later I noticed Daniel and Alice Park walking to class together. During chemistry I gave him a playful nudge and a smirk.

  “So it looks like things are working out with you and Alice.”

  To my surprise he blushed scarlet. “Yeah. I never would have believed it.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Yeah. And I gather you and Quinn have become an item.”

  I got warm tingles just thinking about it. “Yes.”

  “That’s good. I wasn’t too sure about it, and it seemed kind of underhanded, but I’m glad it all came out okay.”

  “Underhanded?”

  He’d turned his attention back to his lab worksheet and answered distractedly. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure I should go along, but when he promised me a date with Alice I just couldn’t say no. And you two totally belong together—anyone can see that.”

  “Daniel, what are you talking about?”

  His head slowly swiveled and his eyes had gone round. “Oh, man. I thought he’d told you.”

  “Told me what?”

  “Maybe you should ask Quinn.”

  “I’m asking you. What on Earth are you talking about?”

  Daniel let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Quinn wanted to ask you to Homecoming, but he knew you’d say no. So he told me that he’d convince Alice Park to go with me if I’d ask you and then drop you at the last minute. I guess he figured at that point he’d have a better shot at convincing you to say yes.”

  The blood drained from my face, which is not a pleasant sensation. Quinn—my sweet, wonderful Quinn—had done that. I couldn’t believe it.

  “Is it true?” I whispered.

  “Molly, I’m sorry. I knew it was a sleazy thing to do. But you got Quinn and I got Alice, so it all worked out. Right?”

  My throat closed up and I could hardly breathe. For once it wasn’t from anxiety, though. It was pure anger.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was waiting for Quinn when he came to the cafeteria for lunch, and grabbed his arm.

  “We need to talk. Now.”

  His brows furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong? Dylan and his sister aren’t spreading that garbage around again, are they? I swear, I’m going to get him permanently benched.”

  “It isn’t Dylan.”

  “What then?”

  I pulled him away from the cafeteria and found an empty section of hallway. Anger had hot tears welling up in my eyes and my heart hammering like it was trying to escape my ribcage.

  “What is it, babe?”

  He went to reach for me, but I stepped back. “Is what Daniel told me true? About Homecoming.”

  From the look on his face I could tell that it was before he even said a word. My stomach seemed to drop down somewhere around my ankles, and I was really glad I hadn’t eaten yet.

  “You weren’t supposed to find out about that,” he sighed.

  “So it is true.” The tears I’d been fighting back left scalding trails down my cheeks. “How could you do that to me?”

  “Look, it wasn’t supposed to be—”

  “Do you have any idea how that made me feel? My first date ever, even if it was going to be just as friend, and then dumped at the last minute. It made me feel like I was nothing. And then you came along, my knight in shining armor, and treated me like I was a princess or something. But it was all a lie.”

  “It wasn’t a lie,” he protested. “I just… Didn’t tell you everything. Daniel really was going to ask you out, and when I heard I just thought I’d give things a little nudge.”

  “You manipulated me. You played with my feelings. And you never once stopped to consider what effect it was going to have on me.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. But you kept pushing me away and you wouldn’t give me—us—a chance.”

  “Was
any of it real? Or are there more little secrets waiting to pop out?”

  “Babe, it’s all real. Every second we’ve spent together. How can you not believe that?”

  “How am I supposed to believe anything?” I countered. “You deliberately deceived me.”

  “You’ve felt it, just like I have. Did those kisses lie?”

  “I don’t know. You’ve had enough practice that I imagine you’re pretty good at it by now.”

  “Molly…” He reached for me again.

  “No. Don’t touch me. I don’t even know what to think right now.”

  “Then don’t think. You know how you feel. And I feel the same way about you.”

  I shook my head. “If you felt the same way about me you never would have done that.”

  I spun and walked away, ignoring him when he called my name, and didn’t look back. Instead I headed for the bathroom before the full force of it hit me and took over. The halls that had started to seem inviting had become like a dungeon again, bleak and reeking of despair. Slamming through the door, I locked myself into a stall and huddled into a ball on the seat. Amazing. I’d made it almost six whole weeks without having to hide in the ladies’ room. It had been a pretty good run, but it was over now.

  My friends came looking for me, but I was a pro and managed to avoid everyone for the rest of the day. I ignored all their texts and calls until I couldn’t stand it anymore and just turned my phone off. I couldn’t take hearing from Quinn and didn’t want to talk to anyone else, either.

  Walker was giving Delaney a ride after school, so I was able to go straight home where I hid out in the game room. After browsing the shelves I picked out one of my favorite shooters that I could play alone. It was the best way I knew how to vent. Shooting people in the head can be very therapeutic.

  A couple of hours later Delaney walked in and sat gingerly on the couch beside me.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Quinn told Walker everything. Walker told Quinn he was an idiot. Only he used a lot more words than that. I’m not sure I even knew what all of them meant.”

  “Great. It will probably be all over school tomorrow.”

  “You know better than that. Quinn went to Walker because he was desperate and he knows Walker won’t blab. I’m sorry. It was a really stupid, clueless thing for Quinn to do. But he wasn’t trying to hurt you. He just wanted to go out with you.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that why, exactly?”

  “I think you should.”

  “If Walker had done that to you, how would you feel?”

  “Hurt. Plenty mad.”

  “And given his prior track record with girls would you ever believe another word out of his mouth?”

  She sighed and slumped down into the couch. “I don’t know.”

  “So there you go. But you expect me to believe Quinn.”

  “I just… You were so happy with him.”

  “Yeah. It was great while it lasted.”

  “If you want to talk, or to cry it out…”

  “Not now. I’d rather not think about it.”

  “Okay.” She got up and turned to leave. “Just remember that you’ve got friends, Molly. Remember how you all came together for me when I had problems with Walker? We’re there for you, too, when you need us.”

  I threw down the controller and flung myself back onto the couch. I didn’t want to need anyone. It was too hard, too complicated. Things had been so much simpler when I had been The Ditz and left alone. This new life was too much for me to handle. I already had enough problems without going out of my way to make things even more involved. All of these changes had been a mistake, but it was too late to take it back now. I was just going to have to figure out how to deal with things as they were. Somehow.

  For the next week Quinn tried calling and texting whenever my phone was on until I blocked his number, and I was careful to avoid him at school. I think Walker warned him off, because he didn’t try to sit with us at lunch again. After I didn’t go to the game on Friday I think he finally got the message.

  Our team did win, but it was close. Delaney told me he threw two interceptions and fumbled the ball a couple of times on the snap. I didn’t know what surprised me more—that Quinn had messed up that way or that I actually knew what she was talking about. But it wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t responsible for Quinn’s performance on the field.

  As I’d done the past year, I took refuge from my real life issues in my gaming. This time, though, there was no Quinn to look forward to, and it just wasn’t the same. I made mistakes, got sloppy, and for the first time in almost a year Hayha creamed us during a Sunday match.

  “Where are they, Val?” Dylan asked.

  I had no idea. I couldn’t get into my groove, had no feeling for the map or for what Hayha was doing. I bit my lip and tried to think. Maybe that bombed out apartment complex? It was as good a place as any. The shattered walls on the upper floors offered both a good view and plenty of cover.

  “The apartments,” I said with more confidence than I felt. “Dylan, you stick with me. Trent, Jason. You guys go around the left side—it looks pretty smashed up. See if you can find a decent way inside there without being seen. Glen and CJ, go the other way and make some noise. Try not to get yourselves killed doing it.”

  As the others peeled off I took a deep breath. Focus, Molly. A swig of Mountain Dew helped to steady me. The can was almost empty, though. Hopefully I could nail Hayha and get this wrapped up fairly quickly.

  A couple of minutes passed and I started getting edgy. “Trent, talk to me.”

  “Hang on. I think I see—”

  Gunfire rattled in my headset.

  “Trent? Jason?”

  “They’re gone,” Dylan said.

  “Great.”

  More gunfire broke out on the other side of the building.

  “Val?” Glen called. “They’ve got us pinned down.”

  “Can you withdraw?”

  “No, we’re boxed in. They were waiting for us and plugged our exit.”

  “OK. Dylan and I are on the way. Let’s come in behind them and see if we can bust them out of the trap.”

  As we moved to the corner of the building, a single shot rang out and Dylan dropped to the ground at my side. I spun around, searching frantically. There. An empty storefront. I had just enough time to realize how badly I’d screwed up before Hayha’s second shot took me down. With the rest of the team gone, Glen and CJ didn’t last five minutes.

  “I’m sorry, guys.” I told them.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Trent replied. “Anyone can have an off day—even Valkyrie.”

  “Yeah, we’ll get them next time,” Jason chimed in.

  They all left and I tugged my headset off and dropped it onto the couch beside me. I still couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid, making a noob mistake like that. I had to get through this mess over Quinn before they all deserted me for someone who didn’t get them killed.

  Two days later I walked out of chemistry class feeling like a zombie. I’d just blown a quiz I should have aced, but my concentration was apparently somewhere in the Bahamas having a margarita. I wasn’t in the best of moods when Dylan stepped in front of me in the hall.

  “Hi, Molly. I couldn’t help but notice that you and Quinn are no longer together.”

  I gritted my teeth. Throw a little salt on the open wound, why don’t you? Jerk.

  “Did you get your Junior Sherlock Holmes Detective Badge for figuring that one out?”

  He just laughed. “So anyway I was thinking, why not go out with me?”

  “Do you want the long list or the short list?”

  “Come on, can you think of a better way to get back at Quinn than by going out with me?”

  “I’m not interested in going out with anyone or in getting back at him.”

  “Really? After what he pulled I’d have thought you’d want his teeth for a necklace.”

/>   “Right now it’s not him I’m thinking of, and they’re not teeth that I’m thinking about stringing up.”

  “We could make beautiful music together.” He gave a decent impression of bedsprings squeaking vigorously.

  “Dylan, do you just enjoy being shot in the back of the head?”

  As soon as the words were out I realized what I’d said and my stomach tried to tie itself into a knot.

  Dylan’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “It’s you. Oh, man, it’s really you. Valkyrie. In the flesh.”

  I was sick and tired to death and there really wasn’t any way to fix my flub. “Yeah. You got me. Congratulations.”

  “I don’t believe it. All this time you were pretending to be The Ditz, and you were just leading us on.”

  “Some people aren’t that hard to fool.”

  I pushed past him and headed for the bathroom. It was going to be another long day.

  I stayed home sick the following day and didn’t go anywhere near my gaming consoles. It was all over, now. I’d never be able to play with the guys again, not unless I started over with a whole new identity. Even then someone would undoubtedly recognize me now that the truth was out and they knew what to look for. It was one thing when nobody knew who I was and I could pretend to be somebody I wasn’t. But knowing who I really was, who would want to follow Molly Powers?

  Word traveled fast among the gamers, and all of them knew by Tuesday. My friends did their best to cheer me up all week, and I had finally started to feel better when Friday rolled around. Except for that empty, aching hole in my chest, anyway. Surely that would go away on its own eventually? Needless to say I didn’t go to the game that night, but afterwards I spent the night at Delaney’s with Dannika and Allison. No one mentioned Quinn, and it was a relief to hang around with them like before and forget about everything else for a while. I certainly didn’t want to think about my upcoming Sunday gaming match.

  I was really tempted just to skip it, but at 7:00 I was on the couch with a fresh can of Mountain Dew. Would anyone else show up? Even if they did, would I just get everyone wiped out again? A couple of minutes later Jason came on, followed a few seconds later by Trent.

  “I’m glad you’re here. I was afraid no one would want to play with me anymore.”