Indelible Love Jake's Story

by D. W. Cee

  “Thanks, Gram. I love you.”

  “I love you too. Cheer up.”

  Her call did cheer me up. There were so many people in my life who loved and cared for me. All worked to lift up my spirits. I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of my almost eighty year old grandmother flying in to see her grandson because he was distraught over losing his girlfriend.

  The smile vanished the moment I pictured Emily alone in Japan without any family or friends. How suffocating it must be for her not to have anyone to talk to. I hoped she was at least communicating with her friends. Maybe it was just us she didn’t send a return address to. Perhaps all her friends had access to her and they were filling her emptiness. Thinking about her being alone, I would even welcome Max comforting her.

  Dinner couldn’t come fast enough. Gram and I met for an early dinner at L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon. A bit casual for Gram’s taste; it would have been a restaurant right up Emily’s culinary delight. She would have loved the prix fixe menu that included her favorite caviar and foie gras. There was even a chocolate dessert with Oreos that would have delighted her. There wasn’t an item on the menu she wouldn’t have wanted to try. Gram caught me as I let out a huge sigh.

  “My favorite Grandson!” She hugged me dearly. She knew I needed to be loved.

  “Hi Gram. Did you have a nice flight over here?”

  “I took the Chunnel in. I can’t stand the crowd at the airport anymore. It’s easier for me to get around on the train. Have you ordered for us?” Even in her old age, my grandmother was stunning.

  “I thought we’d order the pre-fixe. Would that be okay with you?”

  “Of course. I’ve always wanted to eat here. I usually end up at La Table. This is for younger people like you and Emily so I thought we could check it out. You can come back here with Emily next time.”

  I sighed again at the mention of Emily.

  “Gram, I screwed up badly. I don’t know when and if I’ll ever see Emily again. She’s never coming back to me.”

  “Jakey, don’t believe that. She’ll come back once the school year is done. A break is always good for a couple. Look at how much you miss each other.” Gram put her arms around me and hugged me again.

  “I don’t know if she misses me. She left thinking I didn’t want her anymore. She’s probably trying her best to forget me.”

  “Jakey… if she didn’t love you as much as she did, she wouldn’t have moved half way around the world to try and forget you. This is the kind of love you can’t let go of so easily. Jane tells me she writes about you in her letters. Emily needs some time to heal herself but she won’t stop loving you.”

  “Gram, what kills me is that Emily has cut off communication with everybody. She’s living in a country where she can’t possibly have a sincere conversation with anyone. She’s hurting alone. Every time I think about this, it eats me up inside. And I pushed her to this. If I hadn’t been so hard on her… If I had just called her… None of this would have happened.”

  “Jakey, don’t be so hard on yourself. She wouldn’t have gone away if she didn’t think she could take care of herself. Let me tell you a story about your grandpa and how we almost didn’t get married. You’ll enjoy it.”

  “What do you mean? You two were crazy in love. I don’t think I knew anyone who loved each other as much as you and Gramps.”

  Gram smiled knowingly. Her eyes watered thinking about her husband who passed away too soon. “Jakey, you remind me most of your grandfather. You have that same passion and drive. My father was like that as well. That’s probably why I favor you. You remind me of my two favorite men.”

  I never knew this. Our courses began to arrive and knowing how much Emily would have enjoyed this food I stared at all the plates set before me. Rather than eat, I sat back and listened to Gram’s story. Since I knew it had a happy ending I hoped to learn something from the story and apply it to my life with Emily.

  “I met Jerry in college in London. He was attending medical school while I was in my junior year in undergrad. Your grandfather was so handsome. You look a lot like him though I think your grandpa was even better looking than you.” We both chuckled at her comment.

  “Your grandpa courted me for a year then asked me to marry him. I thought as soon as I graduated, I’d be married and live a happy life.”

  “So what happened? It sounds like everything was going well.”

  “Jerry decided he didn’t want to go into medicine but instead he wanted to go to business school. Against his parents’ wish he dropped out of medical school and decided to get his MBA in America.”

  “I assume you got married and followed him out to the States?”

  “No!” she answered emphatically. My Gram sounded as cute as Emily when she was upset. This time I put my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

  “Gram, you can be so cute at times.”

  She answered back with another knowing smile.

  “Jerry’s parents cut him off financially and he didn’t want us to get married till he was out of school. He didn’t want me to suffer in America – heaven forbid I’d get a job and help support him through school. He told me to stay here for another three years while he got his degree and he said he’d come back for me. I argued against the idea but he up and left one day without a word. I was heartbroken. This to me was no different than him breaking off the engagement. ”

  “Obviously you waited or I wouldn’t be here today.”

  “I wrote to him and told him I was going to marry the next boy who looked my way. He basically laughed at me in his letter. I got so mad, I went to study fashion in Paris and I told my parents not to give Jerry my forwarding address.”

  “No way. You went off by yourself? So did great grandma really not tell Gramps where you were?”

  “Both my parents were furious at Jerry for making me flee to Paris so they kept to their agreement and wouldn’t tell him where I was.” Gram started laughing at this point. “During my time in Paris, I met another man and he was crazy about me. I didn’t love him like I loved Jerry but I was so mad at Jerry I accepted this guy’s proposal. And, as soon as I accepted his proposal, I sent a letter with my address telling Jerry about my impending marriage. Well, he came across the Atlantic faster than I could pick out a wedding dress.”

  “Was he penitent or was he mad?” If I were Gramps I would probably be a bit of both knowing the love of my life was willing to marry another man.

  She cackled away this time. “Jerry showed up at my apartment but I wouldn’t see him. He begged me not to marry anyone else. He slept outside my door for almost a week. I would sneak out to class early in the morning when he was asleep and my roommates would let him in the apartment to shower and change when I wasn’t around. A week later, after I thought he’d suffered enough, I let him in the apartment and asked him why I should marry him instead of my fiancé.”

  “What did he say?”

  Gram had a nostalgic look in her eyes. “He didn’t say a word. Instead he kissed me passionately and we spent our first night together.”

  “Oh Gram!” I was a bit grossed out. “I didn’t need to know that. Way too much information – though that was a beautiful story.”

  “I wanted you to know this story because I believe true love has a way of finding itself no matter how long the separation. You’ll find her and when you do, don’t ever let her wonder whether or not you love her.”

  “Thank you, Gram. I hope Emily has someone to comfort her during this time as I have found comfort in you.” Despair entered my mind as I knew Emily had no one to ease her pain.

  March, April and most of May went by much too slowly. As Jane reminded me in our many conversations, I waited for Emily’s school year to be done. We both believed she would be back home in June or at least let Jane know where she would be for the summer.

  Against my wishes, Mom decided to throw me a birthday dinner, party, festivities or whatever else it could be called. I woke up on my 31 birt
hday more depressed than ever. It was May 19 here, which meant it was the 20 in Japan and it was Emily’s birthday as well. She was spending it by herself in a foreign land. I hoped she had made some friends but knowing my love, even if she had made friends, she wouldn’t let any of them know it was her birthday.

  The Chief and I came home early from work and the party was in full swing already. There was a room full of family and friends but I wished more than anything to be alone right now. I wasn’t in a celebratory mood. Gram called and I talked to her for a while and Jane walked in the door and surprised me as well. I walked over to thank Mom for helping me through these difficult days. It was bittersweet every time I appreciated my family for their abundant love because I was reminded of Emily who didn’t have any of this in her life.

  The doorbell rang and I walked over to greet the mailman who delivered a couple of packages. One was from Gram, the other – it was from Emily! I ran up to my room and ripped open the package. She had sent me a letter and a gift.

  May 10

  Dear Jake,

  Happy Birthday! I did my best to have this reach you on your birthday. I hope I was successful. What did you do for your birthday? I guess it’s silly to ask since you can’t answer back.

  I’ve been doing well here in Japan and my Japanese has improved quite a bit. Have you ever visited Japan? It’s absolutely gorgeous here. The food, of course is heavenly. Do you know people here don’t eat as much sushi as they do in the States – though of course, I still eat it a lot.

  I hope this has been a wonderful day for you. I’m sure your family has showered you with love and attention today. This probably wasn’t the best idea but I’m sending you a gift. I found these cufflinks during my trip to Tokyo last week. I was at a department store when I noticed these beautiful pieces with your initials on them. What were the chances of that? I thought these would look nice with that blue shirt you were wearing the night we met at the grocery store. They will both bring out the beautiful blue in your eyes.

  If you don’t like them, I understand. You gave me so many gifts while we were together I wanted to reciprocate in a very small way. I’m sorry I was always so selfish. I don’t think I ever gave you enough – whether materially or emotionally. I was always on the receiving end. Lucky me!

  I wish we had spent more time together before we separated. There aren’t enough memories for me to think about when I’m here by myself. I guess we won’t be celebrating our birthdays together, huh? I had looked forward to our back to back celebrations. It will be difficult to spend those two days without you.

  I’m sorry to be rambling about. It’s a bit tough being alone tonight. My mom died seven years ago today and I wish I could be with her in Texas right now. I also wish you could be there with me. You always knew the right things to say to comfort me when I thought about my parents. I miss you, Jake.

  Maybe when I return in a few years I’ll be lucky enough to run into you or perhaps fall into you at the grocery store again.

  I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Please say hello to your family for me.

  Emily

  Even before I put her letter down, I wept like a child. After all I’d done to her, she never once blamed me but always blamed herself for our separation. I knew she would be by herself today. How difficult it must have been for her the day she wrote me this card. Oh Emily. Please come home to me. What do you mean you’ll return in a few years? I can’t last much longer without you. I miss you, Love.

  Chapter 15 Is This Someone’s Idea of a Cruel Joke?

  My life – still barren from Emily’s absence – trudged along. I worked longer hours and participated in every family function whether or not I enjoyed it. Hope was placed in the summer. A time when Emily might come back home. During my morning rounds, I got an unexpected call from Dad.

  “Hi Dad. Did you need something?”

  “Son, come home now! Emily’s here.”

  I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. I didn’t ask any more questions but begged my dad to keep her there till I arrived. Without letting anyone know, I jumped into my car and got home within minutes.

  “Where is she? Where’s Emily?” I frantically searched for her once I got in the door.

  Mom’s face said it all. She had left already. “We tried to keep her here. We asked her to spend the night here with us but she started crying and left. I’m sorry, Jake.”

  “How could you let her go?” Frustrated, I yelled at my parents.

  “We’re sorry, Son. We tried but we couldn’t do much when she started crying. She looked so heartbroken we had to step back and give her some room.” My dad was visibly upset as well.

  “Why is she here? Is she back home now? Should I go see her at her house?”

  “She said she was only here till tomorrow. She’s here for her best friend’s wedding. This is why she stopped by.” Mom held up a clock and a book. Emily must have bought these in Japan for my parents.

  “Do you know about her friend getting married? Can you find her there?”

  So Charlie and Sarah were finally getting married. I was happy to hear Charlie proposed to the woman he loved and was about to embark on the rest of their lives together. I would have to figure out where they were getting married.

  “Mom, I need to get back to the hospital. Do you think you can call around to local hotels and see if they have a wedding booked for a Charlie and Sarah this weekend?”

  “Sure. I’ll call you the moment I figure out an answer.”

  “Thank you and I’m sorry I yelled at the both of you.”

  “That’s alright. Emily still loves you but you’ve hurt her deeply. Go make things right, Jake,” Mom admonished.

  I went over and hugged her. “I’m going to try the best I can.” My voice didn’t sound too hopeful.

  Back at work, I tried to push my combined dread and excitement out of the way and worked hard to concentrate on my patients. Walking to the next person who needed my help, I saw a face I never in a million years thought I would welcome. Max. He was walking towards me and I about bowled him over with my enthusiasm.

  “Max! What are you doing here?”

  “I’m working here as of today till the end of summer when classes get back in full swing. How have you been doing? It’s good to see you.” He put out his hand and I shook it gladly.

  “Do you have a moment? Can we talk?” I was sure Max heard the desperation in my voice.

  “Sure. Have you talked to Emily? Max knew I hadn’t but it was a formality he needed to respect.

  “No. She hasn’t allowed me to contact her. Do you know where she is? Have you talked to her at all?”

  “No, I haven’t talked to her either. She’s only written me letters. She hasn’t called nor will she send me a return address. She’s hid herself really well.”

  Comically, as much as I wanted Max to tell me he knew of Emily’s whereabouts, I was glad he didn’t know. It would have killed me if they’d been communicating while I was in the dark.

  “Can you tell how she’s doing? Has she written you a lot of letters?” That last question was a bit of a test. Secretly I hoped he’d say he only got a couple of letters like I had gotten.

  “She wrote weekly.” That was not what I wanted to hear. “She addressed it to me but often wrote about you. She misses you.” Now that was what I wanted to hear. My hope resuscitated, Max continued. “I’m sorry I got between you two. I didn’t understand how much she was already in love with you. I didn’t think two months would solidify her future. I was wrong to think our past could revive our future. I should have realized earlier that it was long over between us.”

  “I think it’s over with us as well. I hurt her badly. I don’t know if she’ll forgive me. Plus, she left believing I didn’t love her anymore. She’s probably let go of her feelings by now.” I sighed again thinking about my grim future without Emily.

  “If I read my letters correctly, she hurts but is still in love with you. Come to Sarah a
nd Charlie’s wedding tomorrow and find out for yourself. Em is the maid of honor. They’re getting married at the Biltmore.”

  Finally! I would see her tomorrow. “Thanks Max. Thanks for letting me know where she’ll be. I’ll return this favor one day. I’ll see you there.”

  I went home happy knowing this nightmare would be over soon. I was inching closer to finding Emily by the hour. I’d get to the wedding after the ceremony was done and accost her at the reception. Neither Sarah nor Charlie would be pleased with a crying maid of honor during the wedding ceremony.

  Happily, I took my tuxedo and the cuff links Emily sent me for my birthday present to work and whistled my way through the day.

  “Why are you so happy?” The Chief found it weird that after almost six months I was smiling again.

  “I found Emily. She’s here for a wedding. I’m going to go see her after work.”

  “You found her? Where is she? Bring her to your parents tonight and we’ll intervene if you can’t convince her to give you a second chance.”

  Giving him a funny face, I answered, “I don’t want to be spending my first night back with her with the four of you. Leave us alone.”

  “Alright. Don’t mess up this time. Chain and ball her if you must because I can’t take your moodiness anymore.”

  It felt good to laugh again. As soon as work was done, I showered at the hospital, got dressed and drove to the Biltmore. In less than ten minutes I would be back together with my love – or at least I hoped she’d take me back. With a nice gift in hand I walked up to the concierge.

  “Hi, I’m looking for Charlie and Sarah’s wedding reception?”