Indelible Love Jake's Story

by D. W. Cee

  “Um, let me check, sir.” The lady took unusually long finding their reception hall. “I’m sorry but I think their reception is over. I believe it was a noon wedding and they were done by six.” This was not happening to me again.

  “Could you please check one more time?”

  “Sure.” She made a call to the events coordinator and confirmed that Sarah and Charlie had gotten married earlier today.

  I wanted to bang my head against the wall. Why hadn’t I asked Max about the time of the wedding? Why didn’t Max tell me about the time of the wedding? I looked at my watch and saw it was only seven. If they ended only an hour ago, they might still be around.

  “Could I ask you a couple more questions?”

  The lady looked like she would oblige.

  “Are Sarah and Charlie staying here tonight?”

  After typing it into the computer she answered, “No.”

  “What about Emily Logan?” She looked again.

  “She checked out a couple of hours ago.”

  How lame could I be? When Max told me where the wedding was taking place, a light bulb should have gone off in my head. This was where she was staying. Without dwelling too much on my stupidity I hopped in my car, headed towards the airport, and called Mom.

  “Mom, could you go online and see what flights are leaving for Japan tonight?”

  “Does that mean you didn’t find her?” She sounded almost as disappointed as I felt.

  “Long story… could you do the search and call me back?”

  “Sure.”

  Mom called back and I got a short list of airlines I needed to run to and from. They ranged from times of 9:00pm, 10:30 and midnight departures. After parking my car in the lot, I ran to the first airline to purchase a ticket in order to get through the gate. By the time I waited in line to purchase a ticket that wasn’t going to be used – as no one would let me cut in line though I begged and pleaded – I got to the gate too late. Everyone had boarded and the gate had closed.

  “Please!” I begged the attendant at the desk. “Could you let me in or at least check and see if Emily Logan is on this flight?

  “I’m sorry sir. That’s not possible. The gate has closed and the plane is ready for take-off. Also, we aren’t allowed to give the passenger list to anyone.”

  Since there was only a third of a chance Emily was on this flight, I went to the next airline. I purchased another ticket, searched and waited but didn’t find Emily anywhere. Hope fleeting fast, I ran to the last airline and went through the same process. No different than my life had been the last five months, I had made the wrong choice and lost her again. Of course she was most likely on the first flight that I missed. Forty-five hundred dollars and three unused tickets later, I went home without Emily.

  Putting my disappointment aside, I extended my search.

  “Chief.” He was my starting point.

  “Are you with Emily now?” Having to undo Uncle Henry’s smile made me cringe.

  “No. I lost her again. Can you do me a favor? Can you look up a med student named Max? He’s going into his second year of med school and he just started working at the hospital. I need his phone number.”

  “I don’t know if the hospital will give out his personal information.”

  “You’re the Chief. Don’t you have any power?”

  “Not really but I will try.”

  The Chief called back quickly.

  “As I thought, they wouldn’t give me his personal info but he will be at the hospital in the pediatric department on Monday. You can find him there. Sorry about Emily.”

  “Thanks, Chief.” I hung up the phone disappointed. I’d have to wait till Monday to talk to Max.

  Morning surgery done, I ran up to pediatrics to talk to Max.

  “What happened?” we asked simultaneously upon seeing each other.

  I went first. “I didn’t realize it was a noon wedding. I got there around seven and everything was done.”

  “I’m really sorry. I thought I told you it was a noon wedding. Sarah and I couldn’t believe you weren’t there. Here, I have Emily’s address. I tried to relay this to you Saturday night but I couldn’t find you at the hospital and they wouldn’t give me your personal information.”

  “How’d you get her address? How is Emily? How did she look?”

  “Well… for as much weight as she lost, she still looked her beautiful Emily self.” A rage of jealousy surged when Max talked so knowingly about her body and face. “She did her best to look happy for Sarah but those sad eyes never left. Em almost cried when I told her you were coming to the wedding.”

  My heart lurched. Was she about to cry out of joy or sadness that I would be there? Five months later there were no more certainties as to where I stood in Emily’s life.

  “Here’s her address.” He handed me a sheet of paper with Emily’s scribbling on it. “I think she’s ready to face you.”

  “Thank you, Max. I will do my best to bring her home.”

  “Good luck!” he said and shook my hands again.

  I got to my office and looked up the three airlines I had tickets to and booked the earliest flight out of LAX which was Wednesday. I got a phone call from Jane while wrapping up my ticket purchase.

  “Jane. I found Emily.”

  “You did? I was calling to give you her address. Check your email. I just sent you another letter and a copy of the envelope with a return address. I should’ve sent this to you sooner but I was so busy I hadn’t checked my mail in a while. How did you get her address?”

  “I got it from Max.”

  “Max?” She was quite shocked.

  “Long story, Jane. I’m leaving here on Wednesday. Wish me luck.” I let out a huge sigh.

  “She still loves you very much. Can’t you see it in all her letters? She hurts because you’re still so much a part of her heart. Remember, she believes you don’t care for her anymore. Go find her and bring her home. Tell her we all miss her.”

  “Thanks, Jane. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult. I won’t come home without her, I promise.”

  “Call as soon as you reconcile. Bye.”

  “Okay.” Jane’s encouragement made me almost believe everything would be alright once I found Emily. I proceeded to open up her email.

  May 20

  Dear Jane,

  I sent Jake a birthday card and a small present last week. I hope he got it on his birthday. It’s only been a month since my declaration of independence to you and I feel like I’ve reverted back to the old Emily. Like a fool I rambled in Jake’s letter about how lonely I was and how I wished he were with me. Why do I do this to myself? I thought I had made peace with my heart. He probably laughed at my letter. Maybe he didn’t even read it. (Oh, there go the tears again.)

  Did you know Jake and I have almost the same birthday? He was born six years and one day before me. We had promised months ago to celebrate our birthdays for two straight days. I guess that didn’t happen this year. I hope he had a good birthday. What am I saying? I’m sure he had a great birthday.

  It is night time and yesterday and today have been the most difficult days for me since arriving here. I didn’t think I’d be alone today, especially not this year. I wished I hadn’t trusted all the promises your brother made about our future. It hurts even more when those days come and go without him. I miss you Jane. I feel so alone today. I tried calling you for the first time but of course you weren’t home.

  By the time you receive this, I will probably be in LA for Sarah and Charlie’s wedding. They’re getting married this weekend. I assume you are in New York so I won’t bother calling you when I get to the States.

  School is almost done here. Do you think you can visit me? I’m finally sending a return address so please write back. I can’t wait to hear from you. Bye.

  Emily

  I will be there soon, my love.

  Chapter 16 Emily? Can We Try Again? Please?

  Landing in Narita airport my heart
was heavy but hopeful. The Chief gave me as many days as I needed to bring Emily home so I contended only to look at the bright side. The cup would be half full from now on.

  Asking for directions to Emily’s village, my half full cup all of a sudden toppled over and spilled empty. The person helping me explained it was too late to get to the village so I would have to wait until tomorrow morning to continue my travels. Despondent but left with no choice, I stayed overnight at a tiny hotel and left first thing in the morning to find Emily.

  With very few people speaking proper English I had my share of difficulties finding Emily’s host home. A kind lady walked me to the home and I knocked praying Emily was home. A cute little girl answered the door. This must have been Yuki.

  “Are you Yuki?” I asked politely.

  “Yes?” she answered timidly, unsure she should be talking to me.

  I heard a man speaking Japanese, most likely her father. He appeared at the door along with a little boy.

  “Hello,” I waved. “My name is Jake Reid and I’m looking for Emily.”

  “Ah, Jake san.” Yuki and Ryu both repeated to one another, then giggled. It was a good sign that they knew my name.

  “I’m Emily’s friend and I’d like to talk to her. Is she home?” I addressed the kids. They shook their heads no and quickly translated my message to their father.

  “She is not home. She is…” Yuki started but her father stopped her from disclosing any more information. With a scowl on her father’s face Yuki stopped talking all together. He said something to her in Japanese again.

  “My father says I can give you no information. Please leave.” She looked apologetic. I knew if I could convince Yuki who I was, she would convince her dad.

  “Yuki, please let your father know I am Emily’s boyfriend. I want to see her but I don’t know where she is. Has she ever talked to you about me?”

  Depressingly, she shook her head no again. “But, I know who you are, Jake san.”

  By now Yuki’s mom joined in the verbal ping pong. Yuki gave them a long speech in Japanese and I saw Yuki’s mom urging the dad to do something. Next thing I knew, I had another address in my hand, but written in Japanese.

  “I told my mom and dad Emily san writes to you everyday and she cries. They tell me she is at a restaurant in Arayashima, Kyoto. I will go with you to the train station and help you buy ticket.”

  I should have known my girlfriend would be somewhere eating. Her first love would always be food.

  “Thank you very much!” I bowed to everyone and waved goodbye. I walked through this quiet village with Yuki.

  “Yuki, did Emily really cry every day?”

  “Yes, Jake san. I don’t know why. She write a letter to you then she cries. Why you make her so sad?”

  “After I see her today, I promise to make her happy from now on. Thank you, Yuki.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek before getting on the bullet train. My spilt glass was back to being half full again.

  Finding Kitcho restaurant proved to be much easier than finding Emily’s host home. Each local who helped me with directions explained that Kitcho was the most famous kaiseki restaurant in Kyoto. A smile donned my face when I thought of Emily continuing her life with deliberation. Living in the land of kaiseki meals, she went out to cross off an item on her bucket list. I was proud of her.

  When I got to Kitcho, Yuki’s dad must have called in a reservation for me because the ladies knew me without any explanation.

  “You are together with Ms. Emily Logan?”

  “Yes!” I gladly answered knowing soon my glass would be spilling over with joy.

  We walked down a long hallway and as the server began opening the door, I saw a glimpse of Emily’s back and I was suddenly breathing for the first time since she left me.

  “Finally!” I cried.

  Hearing my word, Emily turned around faster than a speeding bullet. I saw tears of joy shine in her eyes. Oh my love. Why do you look so fragile? Why have you lost so much weight? It kills me to see you look so weak.

  I practically ran and sat next to her. “Hello Emily. Very long time no see.”

  Wanting desperately to hold her I moved in towards her body but she shied away from me. I was hurt but I understood. She was utterly befuddled to see me and she probably didn’t know what my intentions were for showing up here.

  “What are you doing here?” Hearing her voice after so many months was like listening to an angel sing.

  “Why do you think I’m here?” What kind of ridiculous question is that? I’m here for you.

  “I don’t know. Does the Emperor need a heart surgeon?” Good to know she hadn’t lost her sense of humor.

  “Emily, I’m here to see you. We need to talk. Are you here alone or are you waiting for someone?” She continued to stare but couldn’t speak. “Emily, are you not talking to me? I came all the way here to talk to you.” It was like I was speaking to a wall. A little more deliberately this time, “EMILY, are you waiting for someone?”

  “Yes,” her voice raised, she answered with uncertainty.

  What? I tried to talk to her again. “You are? Who are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a guy? Are you seeing someone already?” You can NOT be seeing someone already. Never once had I considered this scenario. “EMILY! I sound like a broken record. Are you seeing someone?”

  She stared at me and asked, “Are you?”

  This was going to be an irritating conversation if she didn’t start answering some questions.

  Frustrated, I answered, “Of course not! Do you know how far and wide I searched for you after you left me? Why did you make it so hard for me to find you? Why have you been gone for so long?”

  She woke up with an unpleasant look on her face. “A bit bizarre you would try so hard to find me half way around the world when you didn’t bother looking for me when I was just down the street. And by the way, you left me.”

  Never had she used such caustic words with me. I suppose I deserved it. Nonetheless, her words burned.

  The food kept arriving and I chuckled when I thought only my girlfriend would polish off her amuse bouche and move onto her second course, a piece of sushi, in the midst of a reconciliation. I had apparently placed below the food category again as even our reunion could not stop her kaiseki meal. I ignored my meal and tried to talk some sense into her.

  “How could you come into town last week and visit my parents but not me? How could you cut off all communication with me? Didn’t you think I would want to see you… that I might worry about you? Didn’t you want to me see?”

  “How could you accuse me of cutting off all communication when you’re the one who walked out on me after asking me to marry you? You’re also the one who didn’t communicate with me for weeks. I begged you to talk to me.”

  I was wrong to think this was going to be easy. I was going to have to be more powerful than a locomotive to win over my girlfriend again. What had happened to my meek Emily? We stopped our conversation as another course came in and she concentrated only on the food though I understood this was her way of protecting herself.

  “Emily. Why didn’t you send a return address to any of the letters you wrote? Maybe if you did, I could’ve resolved our issues sooner.”

  She stopped eating. She didn’t know what to do - finally, a question that stumped her. Rage didn’t fire back at me. I saw her upset expression fading. After much thought she gave a long but darling sigh. Perhaps I would soon be able to leap this tall building in a single bound.

  “I didn’t send a return address because when I didn’t get a response from you, I knew it was because you couldn’t respond to me and not because you didn’t want to respond to me.” Her head dropped and the tears I was hoping for began. I believed now she still loved me. I just needed to convince her of this knowledge. Edging closer to her, I tried to touch her but she denied me again.

  “Emi, can I explain myself now? I’d like to tell you my side of the story.” I spoke after she ca
lmed down.

  “Jake, if you came all the way over here to apologize don’t bother. I don’t want to hear it. You walked out on me a few days after you said that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and didn't explain yourself for months. How could you not know I would wait for you at the Skywalk? What happened to your promise of not letting me be alone? I have been so alone the past five months without you. I thought you loved me, that you really, truly loved me. Where were you all those days I begged you to talk to me? Why are you here now after all these months?”

  Emily’s tears were silent but damaging. I could hear her heart being shredded to pieces. I had done much wrong to her but I was confident I could convince her I still loved her and after that I would beg her to forgive me.

  Hoping she was done I opened my mouth to speak but she pulled herself together and rolled past what I was about to say. “You can’t begin to understand how much you hurt me. I don’t want my heart broken any more. You don't owe me any explanation. I have no claim on you. Please just leave."

  Giving her more time to calm down and catch her breath, I slowly swept away all the hair that covered her beautiful face. I wanted to look into her eyes when I spoke. She didn’t push me away so I brushed away the tears and left my hand on her face. It felt wonderful to touch her again. My Emily, my Love.

  When I saw my chance, I took it. "First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I walked away from you that morning and I can never forgive myself for leaving you stranded. I can’t believe I hurt you so much. You don’t know how sorry I am that I left you alone. It was not my intention to not see or talk to you for this long. I came by your house many times trying to reconcile, but couldn’t find you. This situation got out of hand." I hoped my words sounded as devastated as I felt.

  "That morning when you told me about Max you broke my heart.” Tears glistened in her eyes again. My tender hearted girlfriend hurt to see me hurt. “I have this bad habit of shutting myself down when things go badly. I know it's wrong and I know I’ve done this to you many times before. I'll work on that. I promise I will. I won't shut down on you or leave you anymore, I promise you. I’m sorry.”