Falling Into Blue

by Maurer, Donalyn

  Max and I stop and wave and I call out, “Love you guys!” They keep laughing, “Love you too Sissy, see ya, Blue!” Jake calls back, “Yeah, later Blue, ditto Jayc,” Bradley says through his laughs.

  Max and I walk in the house. I take him in the kitchen and make him a plate and start to warm it. He doesn’t say anything but pulls me into his arms and holds me. For the next couple minutes we stay like that until he feels my body start to relax. “I’m here, Jayc. You’re okay.” He knows. Then the microwave dings and he steps back from me. “I missed you, Jayc.” Thank God he feels the same. “I missed you, too.” He sits back at the table while I grab his plate from the microwave and hand it to him with silverware and then grab him some sweet tea. I grab myself a little brisket and eat along with him and he tells me about a couple of his patients he’d been working with today and how he had a couple of unscheduled new patients come in. I love that he does what he does and I can tell he does too. After we finish eating, I clean up the kitchen again and try to find something so he won’t leave. “Um, you want to watch TV or do you need to go? I know it’s late and all.” He walks over to me and says, “Watch TV. Unless you want me to leave, I’m staying.” I can’t help but smile. “I want you to stay.”

  Chapter 22

  We walk into the den to watch television. I love this room. It was the room my brothers, sister, cousin and I spent time together in. Growing up, our activities in here ranged from coloring and painting to doing our homework or my sister and me playing office or school. Sometimes on long summer nights, we’d wait until our grandparents fell asleep and then we’d secretly meet up in here and quietly play board games like Sorry or Trouble, and the dice popper on that game added a thrill. When one of us pushed it for our turn, we’d all reach in and cover it with our hands to muffle the sound from our grandparents and then wait to see if we heard any movements from their room. When we didn’t, we’d quietly laugh and act like we were getting away with the crime of the century. At times it was a wrestling ring and other times a dance floor. It’s the room where Jesse and Nash played their guitars and Jesse sang, and it held many video game competitions. It’s the room where Jesse and a couple of Army buddies who were home for the weekend taught me to shotgun a beer, and when Jake walked in to find me tipsy he almost kicked all their asses.

  I lead Max over to the old red leather couch that is like a big beanbag. It’s soft, comfortable, and worn. I love snuggling in the corner with a blanket and pillows to watch TV. The room has dark wood floors and is painted a light beige with white bordering to match. The wall decor is art from school projects from all the grandchildren. Every time we brought home a painting from art class my grandpa would take it out to the workshop and matte and custom frame it and then hang it with pride in this room. There’s about eighteen framed pictures from stick figures we drew, to the Alamo and Statue of Liberty to bowls of fruits and vases holding flowers and of a meadow covered in blue bonnets.

  I reach for the remote for the television off the coffee table and I see Max’s eyes flicker towards it and his hands twitch. Now, I’ve lived with enough men to know what that means—he’s feeling helpless not having control of the remote, so I hand it to him and he takes it without argument. He’s shameless and it makes me laugh.

  “So, anything you want to watch?” Soft light from the screen fills the room and the volume is turned way down. I just sit looking at him. He looks good sitting here. We’re sitting close together but not touching and I really want to snuggle up against him but I don’t. He flips through channels and stops on the Science channel that’s playing the show How it’s Made and I groan and he laughs.

  “Okay, okay,” he starts flipping channels again while laughing and stops on a house remodeling show.

  “Go back,” I beg. “This is a million times worse. Go back to the Science channel,” I groan again and plead. He starts chuckling and flips it back to the first show. Wait. Was that a trick? I look at him and narrow my eyes. “Did you just play me, Max?” He chuckles harder and leans in and pulls me into a hug while he’s laughing.

  “I would never do that, Jayc,” and he’s still laughing.

  “Really, Blue, because it feels like I just got played.” I’m trying to feign being mad but I can’t and I smile.

  He pulls back and looks at me, smiling. “Max, okay?” he says while looking at my mouth, then my nose and finally back to my eyes. He sees I don’t understand. “With you, I’m Max. Not Blue. Not Sergeant Bradshaw. Not Maxwell. I’m Max. You’re the only person to call me that, so it’s yours.”

  “I’m the only one?” I ask quietly. “What do your parents, your family call you?”

  “Blue or Maxwell,” he whispers while leaning in to me. “So Max is yours.”

  “Max is mine?” It comes out as barely a whisper as his lips gently touch mine and I feel more then hear him say, “Yes, Max is all yours,” and he pushes his lips closer to mine until they touch.

  We kiss lightly like that but with no tongue. I know he’s trying to take it slow and not scare me.

  After a few seconds of that he pulls back and I slowly open my eyes and look to him and he’s smiling sweetly at me and I return it. That felt so right. He sits back up and then pulls me closer to him and I snuggle into his side.

  We watch the show and I learn how harmonicas are made. Okay, that was pretty interesting. I’ll admit it. He mutes the sound of the television and stands up and walks over to one of Jesse’s old guitars and looks back at me. “Do you mind?” he asks. When I shake my head no and gesture with my hand for him to go ahead he picks it up and walks back over to sit next to me on the couch.

  “It’s one of Jesse’s, he leaves it here so if anyone wants to play they can. I think I remember hearing around that you played. It made you even more swoon-worthy with the girls,” I accuse and he laughs.

  “My mom taught me and my younger brother. She played guitar and piano and sometimes she’d walk into the room in the middle of my brother, dad, and me watching a show on television and sit down and start playing and singing.” He shakes his head at the memory as he picks at the guitar strings and starts tuning it. “She may be small but she ran that house like the Gestapo and if she felt her boys had had enough TV, she pulled out the guitar to play or she would go sit at the piano and play. It used to make us so mad but now not only do I find it pretty funny, I’m grateful for the memories.” He starts to strum and looks at me and says, “Want me to play a song for you?” I shyly nod yes. Holy heck! The high school girl in me is jumping up and down screaming, Blue Bradshaw is about to play guitar for me! But outside I act like a mature lady, yeah right. “Yes, please.”

  He starts to strum softly and tap his booted foot. I get momentarily distracted watching his muscled blue jean-covered thigh flex up and down. I refocus on the melody and it’s familiar but I can’t place the song yet and then he starts to sing. Yes, sing, and he sounds good. Like really, really good, and I just listen and when I finally figure out the song, I can’t help but laugh. God, It feels good to laugh and I owe it all to him. “Max, did you just serenade me with Judas Priest’s, ‘Beyond the Realms of Death’?”

  “Yes. Yes, I did,” he smiles at me smugly.

  “Max, I am impressed. Thank you,” I say, and I lean in to kiss him on the cheek but he turns his face just in time to for me to catch his lips. When our lips hit this time, his tongue comes out and teases my bottom lip and I open my lips just a little to let him in and then we kiss, but just like before, before it can get too heavy, he pulls back. He looks over my face and stares at my nose. “I like your freckles, Jayc.” I look down, embarrassed, but when I look back to him he’s smiling and his dimples come out and I look at his cheeks and back to him. “I like your dimples, Max,” and we both smile at each other. Before I can lean into him again he starts strumming on the guitar again. I lean back on the couch watching him, fully content with staying like this forever and then
he starts playing and singing to me and it’s a moment I’ll cherish forever. My eyes water as he sings straight to my heart. I watch him strum and sing Tim McGraw’s, “When the Stars Go Blue.” He brings his eyes to me and I see he’s not just singing, he’s speaking his feelings. When he finishes he sets the guitar aside and wipes tears from my face.

  “That was beautiful, Max. Thank you.” I sit up on my knees and lean over and hug him and he wraps me up in his arms tight and whispers in my ear, “I’ll always follow you, Jaycee.”

  He pulls me to lie down on the couch with him. I’m on my side, my back to the back cushion and he’s on his back with one leg on the couch and the other bent to the floor. I slowly lay my head down on his chest and he pulls my arm around him to lie at his waist and then rest his arm on top. His head is resting against a throw pillow and both our faces are turned towards the TV. I have no idea what’s going on the television screen. I close my eyes and rub my cheek on his soft cotton shirt as he brings his other arm down and wraps it up behind me, pulling me closer. We must fall asleep because the next thing I remember is Max picking me up and we’re both coughing and I can smell smoke. He runs out of the house with me and I look up and the side of the house with the kitchen has flames shooting from the window.

  “Grandma!” I scream. “Max! She’s still in there!” and I run for the house but he grabs me from behind and stops me.

  “Stop Jaycee! STOP!” Max screams, but I keep struggling against him. “Damn it, stop!” and he shakes me and puts me to the ground on my back and pins me. “I’m going in for her. You. Stay. Here!” he screams and he gets up and starts for the back door where smoke is lightly wafting out. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Jaycee, last time it was a trick to get you alone and you got grabbed. We have to get you out of here,” and he yells in frustration.

  “Max, please?!” I beg. “Go for her. I’ll be fine, please.” I’m still on the ground where he put me, pleading, and when I jump up and start to run for the door again he grabs me around my waist and stops me again and about that time we hear sirens. Someone must have smelled the smoke and saw the flames and called the fire department but she could still die before they get here.

  “Okay, listen to me, the fire department is getting closer,” he says, and he raises up the pant leg of his jeans and pulls out a gun and checks it and hands it to me. “I’m going in. Jaycee, this is ready to shoot. Anyone comes near you, point and shoot. Do you hear me?” I nod my head frantically. “I mean it Jaycee, anyone comes near you, even if they’re with the fire department and you sense danger...Anyone or anything that makes you uncomfortable,” and he grabs my hand with the gun. “You pull the trigger and you shoot.”

  “Okay, Max,” I say, and with that he runs into the burning house. Not seconds later the fire department rolls up and firemen come running around the house and when they see me I yell, “My grandma is in there and Max just ran in to get her. Please, help them!” I see two firemen start zipping up their coveralls as two more firemen are helping them with their gear. One walks up, not in the fire gear so I assume he’s the head fireman. “Ma’am, where is the room he went to grab her? Where would they be?” At that moment he notices the gun in my hand. “Ms. McGinty, I’m Captain Solis. I know your brother, Nash. He’s works with our sister station. I know you had some really bad things happen to you but no one here will hurt you. We’re here to help. Will you hand me the gun?” I shake my head no and point. “The front of the house. He would have gone for her in her bedroom. She had gone to bed. The front left side of the house where the four windows are. That’s her room.” He nods he understands and walks off and I see him pointing to the house’s front left side while talking to the firemen who are getting ready to enter the house. They grab some flashlights and other tools and head into the smoke-filled house while the other ones head to the front where the rest have pulled out the fire hose and are trying to water down the flames on the other side where it’s the strongest, the kitchen. The captain walks carefully back to me. “Ms. McGinty, we need to step back a ways but I’m going to stand here with you, is that okay?” “Yes, please,” I say, but I keep my eyes on the door of the house.

  A call comes over his radio and I can hear voices but what’s being said doesn’t register until he says, “I just spoke with Sheriff Cullens and he’s on his way. He’s notified your family so they should be here soon, too.”

  I see Sheriff Cullens come rushing around the corner of the house, not in uniform, but wearing his badge and gun. “Jesus Christ, Jaycee. You okay?” and he reaches for the gun in my hand and I finally release it. He checks it, clicks something and puts it in the back of his jeans. “I’m going to hold on to this for you for now, okay?” “Okay. It’s not mine. It’s Max’s,” I tell him, and I start to cry. “He went in after her. Where are they?” I whisper to myself and I start for the back door where he entered when the sheriff stops me. “Blue is in there, too?” He asks, shocked. I can’t hold it in and let out a sob but then catch it before it full-on breaks out. I know the only thing I can do is pray and right then and there I hit my knees and start begging God not to take them from me.

  I feel arms lift me up by my shoulders and I’m turned into someone. I know him. It’s my uncle Duke and I grab onto him and hold on for life. “What the fuck!” I hear my dad roar as he comes towards us. “Jaycee are you okay, honey? FUCK!” I look to him. “Dad, Grandma is in there. She didn’t come out with us, so Max went in after her and neither one has come back out. Dad?”

  My dad is about to run into the house when we hear something and we all turn towards the door. Through the smoke I see one of the firemen coming out shining his flashlight, guiding someone behind him and then, thank you GOD, I see Max coming out, carrying my grandma and the second fireman is behind them, bringing up the rear. More firemen rush towards them, one taking my grandma from Max and the other helping Max away from the house and they bring them over by us. Two more rush up with oxygen tanks and masks and when I see them lay my grandma’s lifeless body on the ground I lose all feeling and sense and just stand there as my dad and uncle rush to her. NO! Not her too. God wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t take both my grandpa and grandma. I see the crew working on her and then they split and some start walking to Max and that’s when I snap out of it. I hear one of the firemen working on my grandma say, “I found a pulse, she’s alive,” and he slips the mask across her face.

  A couple of firemen are talking to Max, who’s sitting on the ground with his face in his hands. I slowly start towards him when I see one of the firemen try to slip an oxygen mask on his face and say something and he raises his head, pushes the fireman’s hand away with the oxygen mask and starts looking around. When he finally sees me he gets up and starts towards me and I start speed-walking, which turns into a run, and I don’t stop until I’m in his arms and he’s holding me tight.

  Chapter 23

  After Max and I are checked out in the ER and given the all clear to leave, we meet up with my family who’s sitting in the family waiting room. The room is just off the area on the fifth floor where the hospital is getting ready to move my grandma to a room for observation. Because of her age they want to keep a close eye on her overnight.

  When we walk in, Captain Walters and Sergeant Taylor are there, talking with my family and Sheriff Cullens. When they see us enter, my dad pushes past them and comes to me. “Jaycee, we need to get you out of town for a few days. We’re getting things set up now and then Jake and Nash are going with you at first and then Chase, Bradley, and Jesse will trade off. Gotta keep low for a while.”

  “What? Why?” I ask, and now I’m scared. “What’s happening?” and I reach for Max as he pulls me to his side and holds me. Everyone in the room gathers around us.

  “The detectives can explain, Jaycee, but we have to move fast,” he says, and he steps back as Sergeant Taylor comes forward. “Ms. McGinty, we talked with the fire marshal who just did a quick walk-thro
ugh of your home, and they found a kitchen window broken out and a Molotov cocktail within a few feet of it. We made some fast calls to the prison to see if maybe Mr. Jennings had ordered it done. As the detectives were looking through the logs of his visitors and screening phone recordings looking for evidence that maybe he made a call or mentioned something during one of his phone calls, they ran across another conversation between another prisoner and his brother. The prisoner is Rocky’s cellmate. The inmate instructed his brother to “put some fear into you but not harm you, per Rocky’s orders.” Captain Walters steps forward. “He’s trying to intimidate you and your family into not testifying. He’s trying to stop the trial before it ever starts.”

  I step away from everyone and look down. He can still reach me. I thought I was safe. I look around at all of my family and I think of my grandma lying in that hospital bed. She almost died. My God, Max almost died. Nash could have been on duty and he could have been hurt, and all because of me. I can’t let this happen. I need to draw this danger away from them. I have to get away.