Coming Up for Air

by Miranda Kenneally

  It’s not Jiffy Burger, but it’s still fun. We’re still together. And even though we’re going to college, maybe things won’t automatically change between us.

  Maybe sometimes a little change is good.

  • • •

  I smile at myself in the mirror.

  On the night of the pajama party, I put on my pajamas and some light makeup. I even straighten my hair into a long, brown, shiny curtain. It looks good.

  When I go downstairs before my first ever date, Mom gives me a hug. “You look so grown-up.”

  Meanwhile, Dad is horrified. “Go change your clothes right now.”

  I glance down at my outfit. I’m not even showing cleavage! “Everything is covered up.” I pause to take in what Mom and Dad are wearing—matching onesies that make them look like human-sized sock monkeys. “Besides, your outfits are frightening. You will scare little kids.”

  “That’s all part of my plan,” Dad says with a laugh.

  The doorbell rings. Before the sock monkeys embarrass me, I rush to answer the front door. It’s Noah.

  He scans my outfit. “Wow, you look great.”

  I check him out too. He’s wearing a dark green bathrobe. Hmm. Very dad-like. Noah’s pajamas do not elicit a “wow” from me, that’s for sure. But then, Levi could pick me up in the rattiest pajamas ever, and I’d still be beaming.

  Noah escorts me out to his car and opens the passenger door for me. I slide inside, wondering if I should be going on a date with a guy I don’t have feelings for. I don’t want to hurt him. Even if Levi is going with Rebecca and their dogs, it isn’t fair to Noah to lead him on. I need to tell him. I don’t want to hurt him the way I was hurt before.

  Before he starts the engine, I reach over and rest a hand on his forearm. “Noah, I need to tell you something.”

  He turns to me. “Yeah?”

  “Tonight…can we go as friends?”

  His eyebrows furrow. “You mean you don’t want this to be a date?”

  “I was really looking forward to this, but I’m not sure I have romantic feelings for you. I’d rather go as friends.”

  He lets out a long breath of air. “Sure. Friends. We can do that.”

  The pajama party is taking place at the Franklin town square, and it spills over onto the fairgrounds. A Ferris wheel circles through the night sky, and the moon bounce looks supremely bouncy.

  It’s so crowded we have to park on the road about half a mile away and walk up to the party. Our first stop is the fire department, where they have two big engines out front for kids to climb all over and explore. Noah is excited to hop up and pretend to drive the wheel. Meanwhile, I’m excited to check out the firefighters, who do elicit a wow from me. And I thought swimmers had muscles.

  Once Noah’s done on the fire truck, he hops back to the ground in his bathrobe. “Want to go check out the photo booth?”

  “Okay.”

  We chat as we walk over to the photo area. Diane Musgrave set up a studio where people could have their picture taken in front of various world landmarks, like the Pyramids at Giza and the Great Wall of China. Dad did the same thing last year with his Kimono themed party: people could have their picture made with a field of cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji, or Japan’s Imperial Palace.

  But the line is really long.

  “Do you want to do something else?” Noah asks.

  “Yes, please,” I reply, and explain about my dad’s rivalry with Musgrave.

  “Why doesn’t he sue her for copying his ideas?”

  “I don’t think it works like that.”

  Noah and I get in line for the bumper cars and then race our little cars around the rink. I discover I’m just as scared of driving these as driving a regular car. Idiots from school keep ramming me head-on, jolting my bones. This better not mess me up for swim practice tomorrow.

  When that horror is over, Noah leads me to the dance. Musgrave really missed the mark here. Instead of making this barn look like an elegant ballroom in a German castle or something, she decorated it to look like an Amazon jungle…? Monkey sounds fall from strategically placed speakers.

  This will give Dad a coronary.

  “Want to dance?” Noah asks.

  The last time I slow danced was with Dad at my aunt’s wedding a couple years ago, and I stepped all over his feet, so I hope I can manage dancing with a guy. I mean, I swim a flawless backstroke—I should be able to shuffle my feet back and forth. My hands go to Noah’s shoulders and he holds my waist. We sway slowly during the song. Being in his arms doesn’t feel right though. It’s like listening to an off-pitch singer.

  If a bad song comes on the radio, you turn it off. What am I doing here?

  I want to go find Levi.

  “Noah,” I start. “I need—”

  Before I can get out the rest of my speech, he leans forward and kisses me. I break away. I didn’t feel even the slightest spark.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I can’t.”

  “Was it that bad?”

  “Huh?”

  “The kiss?” he mumbles, ruffling and flattening his hair, embarrassed.

  “Oh, I liked the kiss. It’s just…”

  He puts some distance between us. “You love Levi?”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yeah, I kind of figured.” He blows out a heavy breath of air. “But since you’re not with him, I thought I’d see if something’s there between you and me. You’re so nice…”

  “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I don’t really know what I’m doing—I haven’t dated anyone before.”

  “I get what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only guy who hasn’t had a girlfriend,” he says quietly.

  A few months ago, I thought I was going to be the only college student who’d never had sex or fooled around. But that can’t be true. Everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to this stuff. Georgia is taking things slow with David. It took her a couple weeks to share that he’d asked her out. Meanwhile, Hunter wants Shelby on a serious emotional level while she only wants the physical. Noah’s a super cute basketball player who hasn’t had a girlfriend. And that’s fine.

  Why was I trying to force myself to move more quickly than was natural?

  I guess Levi was right all along. He told me to wait until I found someone I cared about. And it doesn’t even have to be someone I love, just someone I feel something for. And as nice as Noah is, I don’t feel anything for him. Not like Levi.

  I feel a lot for Levi.

  Noah looks upset as he pulls his car keys out of his bathrobe pocket, and I feel terrible I hurt him. Maybe it was selfish of me to keep this date.

  “Can I take you home?” he asks.

  “I think I’ll hang out here for a bit.”

  “Me too.”

  After a good-bye hug, Noah joins a group of guys from the basketball team who are hanging out with some girls from school. I hope one of them likes him and is deserving. He’s a great guy, even if he’s not the one for me.

  I take off for the catering tent where I know I’ll find Mom and Dad. I need to test Diane Musgrave’s food they’ve been talking/complaining about for weeks.

  In the tent, I find Levi. I thought he was coming with Rebecca and their dogs. But I only see Levi. Mom the sock monkey is pointing at various hors d’oeuvres, and he’s sampling them one by one. Oh. My. God. He’s wearing Superman pajamas! His body really fills them out in all the right places. I swallow hard.

  I walk over to them as Levi tries a tiny egg roll.

  “It all tastes bland to me,” he says through a mouthful. “It needs some King’s secret sauce.”

  “Don’t let my husband hear you say that,” Mom replies. “He’ll be drizzling that stuff on everything.”

  “Hi,” I say.

  L
evi looks up from his egg roll and gapes at my pajamas. He looks me up and down, and starts choking.

  Mom slaps his back and asks, “How’s your date going, Tadpole?”

  “It’s over already,” I say, and Levi’s eyes dart to mine.

  “Is everything okay?” Mom rushes to ask.

  “It was fine… It just wasn’t going to work out.” I turn to Levi. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure.” He takes one more egg roll for the road, tossing it in his mouth and brushing off his hands.

  Mom’s eyebrows pop up as he follows me out of the tent into the warm night.

  Once we’re under the stars, I loop my arm around his elbow, leading him toward the rides. His warm hand seals comfortably over mine.

  “Where’re Rebecca and Pepper?”

  “I had to let Rebecca down gently… She was getting a bit clingy…and I couldn’t think of a bigger disaster than bringing Pepper to town. Remember when I took her to that football game, and she ran onto the field to try and steal the ball? Here, she’d be knocking over toddlers and stealing hot dogs from strangers.”

  I laugh. “I bet she’d jump in the moon bounce.”

  “No bet.”

  “Hey, you want to moon bounce?”

  “Of course I want to moon bounce,” he replies. “But we need to talk first. What’s going on? What happened with Noah?”

  We sit down on a bench in front of City Hall as a couple in pajamas with a baby stroller passes by. The bell tower gleams brightly in the moonlight.

  “Levi,” I start, inhaling sharply, hoping the extra air will fill me with courage. “I like you. I like you so much. And I want something more with you.”

  His blue eyes capture mine. “Are you sure?”

  “Enough to give us a shot.”

  He leans closer, pressing his forehead to mine. “I want to try too. I’ve never felt like this before.”

  I settle my cheek against his. It’s smooth and warm, and he smells perfect, like cedar and aftershave. Like him. He squeezes my hand.

  “I love your pajamas,” I whisper in his ear.

  “I knew you would.” He smirks a little. “I got them for you.”

  “You did?”

  “I kinda had to. I had nothing to wear. I mean, I generally sleep naked.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I slap his arm, feeling my face flush red at the thought of him in bed in the buff. He goes on, “I like your pajamas too.”

  I wore a form-fitting black jumpsuit with little cats on it…and some cat ears on top of my head. Yup, I am Catwoman.

  He stretches an arm around the back of our bench, caressing my shoulder. I inch closer to his side. It feels so good to be curled up against him again. His warmth makes me let out a sigh.

  Since I started us on this path, I decide to take the next step. Leaning toward him, I press my mouth to his. My fingers draw the letter M on his chest, and I hear his sharp intake of breath. We fit perfectly.

  He pulls away to look at my face, a lock of his hair falling into his eyes. I push it to the side.

  “So are we together now?” he asks.

  I keep drawing my initials—MK MK MK—all over him with my pointer finger, marking him as mine. “Like you’re my boyfriend?”

  He answers with another long kiss, his lips devouring me like I’m dessert.

  “Will you go to prom with me?” I ask him. “You know, if our race ends in time?”

  He takes my hand, brings it to his lips, and kisses two of my knuckles, sending shivers up my spine. “Yes. But only if you dress up as Catwoman again.”

  I lean against his side, and we watch the people of our small town walk around together, enjoying life, and I smile, knowing ours is only getting started.

  Sharks and Minnows

  One more chance.

  This is my final opportunity to qualify for the Olympic trials.

  Sure, I’m sure I’ll become a better swimmer in college, and I can try for the trials again in four years. But you only live once, and I am going to give this my all.

  Two days before the meet, Coach drives the seven of us in a van to Cincinnati. Only Levi has qualified for Omaha, so technically he doesn’t need to race, but he needs the practice and experience in long course. That’s part of the reason we’re leaving early—to get some practice time in the big pool.

  I check Twitter during the ride. Several swimming accounts are saying things like, Last chance weekend for the #OlympicTrials! If you or your swimmer gets a cut, tweet us!

  Sitting next to me, Levi peeks at my phone, sees what I’m looking at, and whispers in my ear, “Deep breaths.”

  Coach takes us out for Italian the night before the meet so we can salad and carbo load. At the restaurant, Levi stretches an arm around the back of my chair, keeping me close. We’ve been seriously dating for about a month now, and everything about it feels right. Part of me wishes we’d started seeing each other years ago, but the other half is glad we waited until we were older and mature enough to handle the responsibility, to ensure our friendship stayed strong.

  Susannah is ridiculously excited we’re finally together. She keeps squealing and clapping her hands, which is getting on Coach Josh’s last nerve. Rolling his eyes, he rips a breadstick in two, demonstrating what he thinks of his swimmers dating. I don’t care though. My muscles feel great, I’m eating ravioli, and my boyfriend is rubbing my thigh under the table. It doesn’t get much better than this.

  Back at the hotel, Coach pulls me aside to sit down on a sofa in the bustling lobby. I figure he’s going to give me a lecture about swimcest, but it turns out he wants to discuss the meet.

  “Maggie,” he says. “We need to talk about tomorrow.” Coach claps his hands together, then unclasps them nervously. “Listen, I entered you in the prelims for 400 and 800 freestyle.”

  “What?” I say. I never swim that far in races. I’m no sprinter, but I wouldn’t say I’m a distance specialist either.

  So that’s why it’s surprising when Coach says, “I think you are maturing into a distance specialist.”

  “What?”

  “Your 200 free is getting better and better, especially in long course. I want to stretch it out even more. Let’s try it.”

  “Why’d you wait until now to tell me?”

  “You overanalyze things. I wanted to throw you in the pool tomorrow morning and see how it goes. No thinking.”

  “But won’t this wear me out for 200 back and free?”

  “Maybe, but I think you’ll have a better chance in a longer race than in either of those. So how about it?”

  I’ve been with Coach Josh ten years. I trust him with my life. “All right.”

  He smiles. “Good. Now off to bed with you.” He points over his shoulder at the hotel bar. “I’m gonna try to catch some of the Braves game.”

  I ride the elevator to my room. When I get there I find Levi sitting on the floor outside the door, one hand buried in his long hair while the other is holding a loved, worn copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

  He started the series over again.

  I slide to the carpet beside him, pecking his cheek. He turns his mouth to meet mine and we share sweet, soft kisses.

  “What did Coach want?”

  I wave a hand. “I’m out of the pool. I don’t want to talk swimming tonight. I just want to spend time with you.”

  “Hot tub, then?” he asks with a tempting smile.

  We change into swimsuits and meet Susannah and Jason down at the hotel pool. Swimmers from all over the country are here, and of course they are hogging the hot tub. While Jason starts a noisy cannonball contest, Levi and I stretch out on a lounge chair, curling up under an extra-large beach towel to sneak kisses. We spend a lot of time doing this lately. We love lying on the trampoline in his backyard, kissing through sunsets and cuddling under
twinkling stars.

  His fingers brush the waistband of my bikini bottoms, making me feel naughty. I’m glad I bought those condoms at the Quick Pick, even if it was the most embarrassing moment in the history of the entire universe.

  I lean close to Levi’s ear. “You would not believe what happened to me,” I say, recounting how I ran into Dad while buying them. I end the tale with, “And then Dad basically said, ‘Condoms on me!’”

  Levi, of course, dies laughing at my story. I tickle his stomach in retaliation.

  “Stop, stop!” he cries, grabbing my hands.

  “For a price. One kiss.”

  He pecks my mouth, and I stop wrestling him, and our touches turn gentle, then more heated. My fingertips draw circles on his chest. He stares into my eyes, a tiny smile on his mouth. Ever since we got together, we’ve been taking it slow, working our way back to where we were before. Last night we got a bit crazy and went skinny-dipping in Normandy Lake. He made me feel so good, it was probably illegal.

  We haven’t slept together yet—but I’m ready. I want to show him with my mind and heart and body how much I love him.

  “Want to go to your room?” I whisper, my intent clear.

  His expression grows heated, full of love and passion, but he shakes his head. “Let’s wait until after the meet.”

  “You’re sure?”

  Levi cuddles me close. “I’m very happy right now.”

  “Me too.”

  At least until Coach Josh shows up on the pool deck and orders us all to bed.

  As Susannah and I are getting ready for sleep, putting on pajamas, brushing our teeth, and washing faces, she asks me yet again if I’ve slept with Levi.

  “No.”

  “Are you going to tell me when you do?”

  “No.”

  “C’mon!” she whines. “I’ll tell you when I do it with Jason.”

  Shocked, I accidentally drop my toothbrush. It clangs into the sink. “You’re gonna do it with Jason? That’s swimcest!”

  She smirks. “Look who’s talking.”