Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating

by Adiba Jaigirdar

  I cross my arms and sit back in my seat, because I know the answer. If we can’t find a solution to my problem, maybe I won’t be a part of this family either.

  chapter thirty-four

  hani

  Can I come over?

  The text from Ishu has been sitting on my phone for a couple of hours now, but I only see it when I take my phone out of my locker at the end of the day.

  Now? I type back, and the three dots indicating that she’s typing show up immediately. Like she’s been waiting for me to text her back.

  Yes, comes her reply.

  I had made plans with Dee and Aisling but considering Ishu left school after her interview, without a word, I assume that this is important. And I’m not going to leave her hanging.

  I’ll be home in twenty, I quickly text Ishu, before stuffing the necessary books into my bag and turning to Aisling and Dee.

  “Hey … something came up. I have to go home.”

  “Everything okay?” Dee asks, as Aisling folds her arms over her chest.

  “Is this about your girlfriend?” she surprises me by asking.

  “What?”

  “Look …” Aisling takes a deep breath and nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t want to be like … weird about it or whatever, but … I kind of reported her to Principal Gallagher. Ishita.”

  “You reported her? For what?” I suddenly feel like I’ve entered into a parallel universe. This whole conversation feels surreal. The way Aisling is acting—closed off and nervous—feels like she’s a whole different person altogether.

  “Well. She kind of cheated off me in our biology class, so … I don’t know.” Aisling shrugs. “I had to say something, didn’t I? It’s not exactly fair. Who knows who else she’s cheating off of? It’s probably how she’s top of the class. I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be difficult for her. She can probably get most answers off of her sister—”

  “Ishu doesn’t cheat,” I say.

  Aisling finally meets my gaze, a frown tugging down her lips at the edges. “Well, then explain why she was copying off my test.”

  “If she was, why didn’t you tell Ms. Taylor when it happened?” I ask.

  “Because she’s your girlfriend?” Aisling says. “Because … I thought she was my friend?” Aisling takes a step back and shakes her head. She glances at Dee, like she’s searching for support. “I … talked to her about it, obviously. Before I went to the principal but … she wasn’t going to turn herself in. I’m sorry, Maira. She’s not good for us.” Except she doesn’t sound sorry at all.

  “Why are you only telling me now?” I ask. “Why have you spent all this time pretending to be her friend? Why—”

  “I was just trying to spare you,” Aisling says, with pity in her eyes. “I knew it would hurt you and I was hoping she would come clean about it herself. Look, are we really surprised?” She glances at Dee once more, who shakes her head like she was expecting this all along. “Ishita has always been weird and abrasive and … whatever.”

  “She was never going to be Head Girl,” Dee says. “She was playing you this entire time, Maira. She was obviously taking advantage of the fact that people like you. And she picked the best time, when you’re still figuring out your sexuality or whatever.”

  “I’m not …” I begin, before stopping myself. It’s pointless. My head is swimming with so much stuff that I don’t know where to start. I can feel the pounding of a headache starting. “I have to go, okay?”

  “You believe me, right?” There’s a desperation in Aisling’s voice that I’ve never heard before.

  “See you guys tomorrow.”

  Ishu is sitting on the ground by the front door when I arrive. She has her head buried between her knees, and she doesn’t look up until I’m right next to her.

  “Hey …”

  “Hey.” She glances up. Her eyes are puffy and red like she’s been crying.

  “Um … you know you could have gone inside?” I ask. “My mom is in there. If you’d just rang the doorbell—”

  “I wanted to wait for you.” She gives me a weak smile.

  “Okay …” I open up the door and tell Amma that Ishu’s here. She gives us both a smile before passing me a questioning look. She must notice how upset Ishu looks, but she doesn’t ask any questions. The two of us head up to my bedroom.

  Ishu is already changed out of her school uniform, so as she makes herself comfortable on my bed, I nip to the bathroom and get changed out of the itchy skirt, see-through shirt, and heavy jumper.

  “My sister is getting married,” Ishu says when I come back. It’s the last thing I expect her to say. “And we’re not even going to the wedding. Because my parents suck.”

  “That’s not what I expected you to say.” I sit down on the bed beside her. She looks at me with those watery eyes and attempts a weak smile.

  “Aisling told you,” she says. “I’m sure you believe her. You’ve been friends with her far longer than you’ve been friends with me.”

  “I’m just …” I heave a sigh, rubbing my temples. It’s only Tuesday. Nobody needs this kind of a headache on a Tuesday. “I’m confused, I guess. I don’t know what or who to believe.”

  Ishu turns to me fully. “Look … Aisling cheated off my test. She’s tried to do it before. I’ve never let her. I let her this time because …”

  “Because you wanted to be Head Girl,” I finish off when she trails. “You were that desperate?”

  “No.” Ishu shakes her head. “Yes … I don’t know. Not like it matters anyway. Principal Gallagher believes Aisling. I’m pretty sure even my parents believe her. Who’s going to believe me? Nobody even likes me.”

  “You have been top of our class for like ever,” I says. “How can anybody possibly think you’ve been cheating?”

  Ishu looks at me with that watery smile again. I’ve never seen her cry, but now I can see the tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to fall. “Don’t you see? I’ve fallen right into their fucking trap, haven’t I?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve never fit into whatever goddamn boxes they’ve wanted to fit me into. Of course I could never be Head Girl, and now they’ve gleefully taken me down a peg by accusing me of cheating. And of course who’s going to believe the brown, immigrant girl when Aisling is the one making the accusation?”

  “I don’t think that’s what’s going on here Ishu. That’s so … devious. Aisling isn’t like that,” I say.

  Ishu shakes her head, wiping her tears away with the ends of her sleeves. “She hasn’t been making you feel like shit for being bisexual all this time?”

  “She hasn’t.” I shake my head. “She told me that you were her friend. She said that she talked to you about the whole thing before going to Ms. Gallagher, and—”

  “You really believe her?” Ishu sniffles.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not sure what I believe.”

  “Do you remember how Aisling and Deirdre punished you for being with me, before they agreed to even consider me as a part of their group?” Ishu asks. The party seems so long ago now, even though it was only a couple of weeks back. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how everybody was focused on me as Aisling and Dee singled me out for not drinking. For daring to be so visibly different. But would they go this far?

  “You know …” Ishu says slowly. “If I’d never agreed to date you, I would not be in this mess right now. I wish I hadn’t accepted your offer.”

  “My offer?” I fix her with a glare. “You agreed to do this because you wanted to be Head Girl. I didn’t cajole you. I didn’t force you. When I called, you said you didn’t want to do it and I was okay with that. You can’t blame me now.”

  “Actually, I can.” Ishu comes to a stand, rubbing away the last of her tears. “Because I know you’re going to stand with Aisling. No matter what …” She trails off, taking a deep breath, like she can’t bear to think about us and our relationship any longer. “I
don’t think we are right for each other anyway,” she says instead. “We’re two very different people.”

  I’m not sure if I believe that, but I nod anyway. “I guess we are.”

  I don’t try to stop Ishu as she gathers her things and walks toward the door. She hesitates by the edge of the door, and I feel my heart pick up speed. Beating so fast that I’m afraid it’s going to burst right out of my chest.

  “I hope you know that you deserve better friends than Aisling and Deirdre,” Ishu says finally. “Friends who you don’t have to hide yourself from, and who don’t try to get you to be someone you’re not. “With that, she slips out of the door.

  I wait until I hear the click of the front door before I let my tears out.

  chapter thirty-five

  ishu

  I FEEL LIKE A FOOL FOR GOING TO HANI’S HOUSE, FOR thinking that she would actually stand with me. Hani is a lot of wonderful things, but she definitely isn’t the type of person who can stand up to people. For as long as I’ve known her, I’ve seen her endure horrible things that her friends have said to her, or put her through.

  Now, I guess I’m stuck in this mess all by myself, trying to figure out what comes next, with no one on my side.

  I try to go to sleep when I’m home finally, but sleep doesn’t come. I just toss and turn in bed, thinking of the fact that everything has gone wrong, in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. Thinking about how I should have seen this all coming. How I should have never let my guard down, never let Hani in, never let myself …

  I end up on my phone. First, on Hani’s Instagram page, where she has far too many pictures of the two of us together. After I’ve stared at them all for so long that I’ve seared them into the back of my eyelids, I go on my sister’s page, looking at her engagement photos once more. There were more than a dozen people at her engagement party, I can tell from looking at all of the different pictures. Most of them are friends—probably from university. But I also see Rakesh’s family—his parents and siblings. It sends a jolt of pain through my chest. I should have been there. Ammu and Abbu should have been there.

  Before I know it, I’m typing a message to Nik:

  Saw your engagement party photos … congratulations.

  Wish I could have been there.

  To my surprise, the three dots indicating Nik is typing appear almost immediately.

  I missed you and Ammu and Abbu.

  I wish you could have been there too.

  I chew on my lip as my fingers hover over the blank text box. What do I have to lose, I guess?

  One of the girls in school accused me of cheating today …

  I’m not allowed to run for Head Girl because of it.

  And I don’t think Hani and I are even friends anymore.

  I wait with bated breath for Nik to message back. The bottom of the messages say seen, but the dots to indicate she’s typing don’t show up. Five minutes pass. Then ten.

  I take a deep breath and shake it off. I shouldn’t have expected Nik to come to my rescue—not when everything else is going belly up. Sure, last time we spoke Nik said—insisted—that I could come to her about anything. But we’ve never had a relationship like that, so why would I even dream Nik would help me now?

  I’m about to put the phone back on my nightstand to get back into bed for good when my phone buzzes with a phone call. From Nik.

  I take a big gulp of air before answering.

  “Hello?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me all of this was going on?” Nik’s voice is high-pitched. There’s the sound of clacking coming from the other side of the phone call. I wonder what she’s doing for only a moment before she starts berating me again. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this was going on when you called me yesterday?”

  I sigh. “All of this stuff … just happened, really. It’s been … a bad day.”

  “The worst day, from the sounds of it,” Nik says. “Are you … okay?”

  “It’s one o’clock in the morning and I’m wide awake, talking to you. What do you think?”

  “Right … and it’s a school night,” Nik adds. “Look … I want to hear everything in excruciating detail. Maybe I can help?”

  “Okay—”

  “But not now.” She cuts me off, her tone taking on some of the harshness that it usually has. “I’m going to come over.”

  “Nik … you live in another country,” I say. “You can’t just nip down.”

  “Shut up. I’ve been looking up flights since you messaged me … I can get a flight out tomorrow morning—”

  “Nik.”

  “Ishu.”

  “Nik.”

  “Ishu.”

  “Nik, how will you uprooting your life to come here help?”

  “Because … it will,” she insists. “Look … I know what Ammu and Abbu are like. And I know what that school is like. So … I’m coming. And it’s not uprooting my life to take an hour’s flight to the island next door, you eejit.”

  I roll my eyes but can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. This is definitely more like the Nik I know. “Okay, I guess I can’t stop you.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ishu. You’ll be okay,” Nik says. “You’re … kind of the strongest person I know.”

  “Can you say that again so I can record it?” I ask.

  Nik laughs. “Please. Get some sleep. Good night.”

  I tuck the phone away and lie down on my bed, facing the ceiling with all of its chips and cracks. The smile on my lips widens. Yeah, everything is shit, but … at least this one thing is not as shit as it could be. At least Nik will be here soon. Maybe she can reconcile with Ammu or Abbu. Maybe she can help.

  All I know is that it feels like I finally have someone on my side. Even if it’s my annoying older sister.

  When I pretend to be ill the next morning to get out of going to school and facing everybody’s judgment, Ammu doesn’t even blink. Like she was expecting exactly this.

  “We’re going to be at the shop all day, Ishu,” she says through a crack in my door. “If you need anything, you call.”

  “Got it.” I roll over in bed, trying not to think about the fact that Abbu and Ammu won’t even bother taking a day off from work to make sure that I’m okay.

  In all my years of school, I have never missed a single day. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach about still being curled up in my bed midweek. It feels strange to be lying in bed when I could be studying. But what does it matter, anyway? It doesn’t feel like any of it matters as I stare up at my ceiling.

  My phone pings with a text and when I pick it up, there’s a message from Nik:

  Are Abbu and Ammu out? I’m coming … on the road.

  I type back a quick text before going back to staring at my ceiling listlessly: they’re at the shop … will be gone all day probs.

  The next thing I know, the bell is ringing. I finally crawl out of bed, rubbing sleep out of my eyes and stretching laziness out of my body.

  When I open the door, Nik looks me up and down with a frown. “God, you look awful.”

  “Thank you.” I roll my eyes. “Exactly what I wanted to hear.” Nik follows me inside, putting down her backpack by the side of the door.

  “You’ve just been home all day?” she asks. “Just … lying in bed?”

  I shrug. “Yeah.”

  “And Ammu and Abbu just left you?”

  I shrug, and Nik heaves a sigh.

  “Well, get dressed, all right?”

  “What?” When I turn around, she’s adjusting her shirt like she’s getting ready to leave. “I thought we were going to talk or something. Come up with a plan, or—”

  Nik shoots me a glare. “We can talk later. First, we have to fix everything. To do that you need to get dressed.”

  “But—”

  “No questions, Ishita. Get dressed—we’re going.”

  The last thing I want to do is let Nik drag me off somewhere, but she did fly all the way here to
help me. So I can hardly turn her down. I slip into jeans and a t-shirt before stumbling down the stairs. I guess Nik isn’t particularly happy with what I’ve done because she looks me up and down once more and sighs.

  Digging into her bag, she pulls out a hairbrush and smooths down my hair, parting it right in the middle and pulling out all the tangles. “Better,” she says, though she’s obviously not super satisfied.

  Still, we head outside. She unlocks her car—“Rental,” she says while guiding me in—and we head off.

  chapter thirty-six

  hani

  AMMA OBVIOUSLY KNOWS SOMETHING IS WRONG without me having to tell her. After Ishu is gone, and I’ve been holed up in my room for too long to explain away, she comes in, her feet shuffling against the plush carpet softly as she settles down on the bed beside me.

  She brushes locks of hair out of my face and wipes a thumb over my cheeks to wipe away any remnants of dried tears. “Did you and Ishu have a fight?” she asks.

  I shake my head while sitting up. “No … yes … kind of. I don’t know.” I don’t know if I can describe what we had as a fight. That doesn’t feel like it’s doing it any justice. “It’s … complicated.”

  “I’m listening,” Ammu says.

  Then, before I can really even think about it, everything is pouring out of me in great big waves. From Aisling and Dee’s dismissal of my bisexuality all those weeks ago, to Ishu and I agreeing to start a fake relationship, all the way to our growing closeness, Aisling’s accusation, and our fight. Ammu listens with rapt attention, her expression almost never changing. When I finally reach the end, Ammu nods her head sagely like she understands exactly what I’m going through.

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” she asks after a brief pause.

  I can only shrug. Maybe if I had told her from the beginning, I wouldn’t be stuck in this mess. Maybe she would have helped me make better choices to begin with.