by Laura Pavlov
She winced. “Yeah, that was when I realized something wasn’t right with Charlie. Well, I think I knew it before that, but after seeing you, it forced me to deal with it.”
Laney had put me back together in ways she couldn’t begin to understand. I was finally whole again. And I wanted to make all her bad memories go away. Erase that night for her. But I didn’t know how to do that.
“Hey, where’d you go?” she asked.
“I’m right here.”
“You sure?”
“Of course, why?”
“Well, ever since I told you what happened to me, I find you dazing off into space a lot. You want to tell me what you’re thinking?” she said, intertwining her fingers with mine.
Damn, this girl knew me.
“Obviously, I won’t break my promise to you, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wanted someone to pay for what happened. I want to take all that pain away for you.”
And beat the living shit out of the guy who did this to you.
“You already are. Just telling you helped a lot. Seeing myself through your eyes made me look at the situation differently. I never saw myself as a victim. I honestly believed it was my fault for a long time. But you’ve helped me close the door on those feelings. Anger isn’t healthy, Harrison. We need to let it go. I’ve lost enough of my life.”
I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her. “Of course. Love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.” She swiped at her cheeks and smiled.
She was right. And it was the least I could do. I needed to do this for her. I’d failed her once. Never again. I’d bury this shit deep inside and leave it there.
She flipped my hand over and noticed the skin missing from my knuckles. “What happened?”
I didn’t want her to worry. “I was getting some wood from the barn and scraped it.”
She nodded, looking up at me and studying my gaze before smiling and resting her head against my chest.
Once we were on the ground, we headed over to Montgomery Media. It was an iconic building on the busiest corner in the city and we made our way to see Harley at the bakery. My brother always wanted her to hire more help because he thought she worked too hard. Ford was protective by nature, but when it came to Harley, he bordered on the ridiculous. I loved it. Loved seeing him love big—the way he did with his wife. It was the kind of love our parents shared. The kind of love I shared with Laney. So, I got it. I understood his need to keep her safe.
When we arrived, Jack was already at the bakery with a cupcake in hand.
Shocker.
“Laney Mae, bring it in, girl.” He shoved the pastry in his mouth and scooped my girl off her feet.
“Are you getting crumbs in my hair, Jack-ass?” she said through her laughter.
“Maybe a little,” he spoke around a mouthful of cake.
“Stop harassing the customers.” Harley swatted my brother with a dish towel before wrapping her arms around my middle and hugging me.
“Busy day?” I asked.
“Yeah. Always.”
“That’s why I’m here,” Jack said, moving behind the counter. “Keep things moving.”
“He’s here because the new girl I hired is cute.” Harley smirked and hugged Laney. “I’m glad we’re going to dinner. We need to catch up.”
“Yes. So much to catch up on,” Laney said.
“I’ll be back in an hour and we can head to dinner. I’m going up to see Ford. Jack, are you coming with me or staying here?”
“What do you think he’s going to do?” Harley rolled her eyes.
“I’m staying,” he sang out from the kitchen.
If I could spend a day in the life of Jack Montgomery, I might never return to reality. He’d been like that since the day he’d entered the world. Loud and proud—and annoying as hell.
I tipped Laney’s head back and kissed her hard. “I’ll see you soon.”
“You will.” She held onto my hand until I was at the door.
Ford’s assistant Sam greeted me when I stepped off the elevator. “He’s waiting for you. Where’s the doofus?”
Yes, Jack had a reputation.
I laughed. “Where do you think? Eating cupcakes.”
“He was supposed to bring us up a box an hour ago.”
“He probably ate them all.” I knocked on her desk and made my way to Ford’s office.
“Hey,” I said, walking in and dropping in the chair across from his desk.
“What’s up? Are Laney and Harley going over the details for Mom’s party?”
“Yep. And Jack’s down there chasing tail and eating cake.” I laughed.
“I don’t get it. The kid eats more baked goods than anyone I’ve ever seen, yet he’s never gained a pound. Where the hell does he put it?”
“He’s always been a freak of nature.”
“Yeah, he has. So, I just sent you the forecasting for next quarter. You can go over the numbers whenever you have time and let me know if everything looks good.” He leaned back in his chair. There was something lighter about him, and he wore it well.
“Sure. I’ll get back to you later in the week.”
“Great. And we’re all set for the party?”
“Yeah, I think Laney’s got it all dialed in,” I said, drifting off again like I’d been doing so much lately.
“Good. And everything’s going well with you two now? Did you talk to her about letting go of her place in Chicago?”
That seemed like a conversation from a hundred years ago now. I understood why Laney hadn’t made a decision about the future at that point, because she was living with something she didn’t know if she could share.
“Yep. She already gave notice. She accepted the position at the winery. We’re going to fly to Chicago and move her out of her place after the party.”
Ford leaned forward in his seat and folded his hands on his desk. “That’s great. When did this all go down?”
I shrugged. “The last few days.”
“What’s going on with you?”
“What? Nothing? I’m happy.”
“I know you, brother. I believe you’re happy, but something’s going on. Spill.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I rolled my eyes.
“You know how everyone always teases you for being the peaceful one? What Dad called you, the peacekeeper?” He laughed.
“Yeah?”
“Well, you break up fights and settle us all down when we’re being irrational. But you wear your heart on your sleeve, and I know when something’s eating away at you. You haven’t taken my calls this week. You didn’t tell me Laney took the job. What the hell is up?”
“Listen, I can’t talk about it.” I looked up to meet his gaze.
“Unfortunately, you’re also the most loyal motherfucker on the planet. So, you can’t talk about it because god-for-fucking-bid you ever break a promise,” he said with a smirk.
I already broke the most important promise to keep Laney safe. I made that promise to her when we were five. I broke it the day I turned my back on her. It would never happen again.
“What can I say? I take it to the grave, brother.”
He studied me. “So, you can’t talk about it, but it’s eating you up, right?”
“No comment.”
“You’re struggling with the promise though, aren’t you? Let me help you. You don’t have to tell me what it is. Just, I don’t know, draw me a picture.” He chuckled.
Ford was a man of few words most of the time. But he loved his family, and he always put us first. I appreciated that about him. Our father would be proud of the way he’d filled his shoes.
“Has Harley ever asked you to do something for her that went against everything in your nature?”
“Ye
s.” He didn’t even have to think about it.
“And you honored it?”
He reached for his water bottle and took a long pull. “Does what she’s asking you to do put her in danger?”
I thought it over. It didn’t. I was too late to step in and rescue her. This was about revenge. Holding someone accountable.
“No.”
“Then let it go, brother. Honor her when you can. There may come a time when it’s not an option.”
I nodded. “Have you ever been so angry that you needed to get it out?”
“All the fucking time.” He barked out a laugh. “Come with me to the boxing gym. You can beat the shit out of a bag. Don’t risk your relationship, Har. You just got her back. Whatever it is—leave it alone.”
He was right. Acting on my anger would be serving myself. Sure, I wanted to defend her honor, but what would that do for Laney? Nothing. All I needed to do was love her every day from here on out, and that would be easy.
I pushed to stand. “You’re right. I’m actually going to take your advice.”
He smirked. “You always do.”
“I’ll let you keep thinking that,” I said, following him out of his office and onto the elevator.
When we arrived at the bakery, Laney and Harley were smiling, and Jack was holding a spatula and singing into it like a fool. I realized right then, I had everything I wanted. I couldn’t change what happened during the time that Laney and I were apart, but I could damn well make sure every day after was perfect for her.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ford said as he opened the door, and everyone laughed.
Laney hurried over to me and wrapped her arms around my middle. “Missed you.”
“Missed you, too.” I kissed the tip of her nose.
“Missed you three,” Jack shouted, wrapping his arms around both of us and squeezing tight.
“Break it up. I’m starving,” Ford said over the chaos. Harley flipped out the lights and we walked down the street to the steakhouse.
We placed our orders and the waiter brought out our drinks.
“So, Priscilla is totally into me,” Jack said, tearing off a chunk of bread and popping it in his mouth.
“Who the hell is Priscilla?” Ford asked.
“She’s the new girl that started today.” Harley elbowed her husband. “And she has a boyfriend, playboy. Don’t make her leave me before she even gets started.”
“That’s her way of saying, keep your dick in your pants, asshole. We don’t need any drama. And I’ll tell you why,” Ford said, setting his wine glass down.
“Why what?” Jack asked with annoyance.
“Why we don’t need any drama,” he barked at our younger brother.
“Oh. Do tell.” Jack perked up and we all waited.
“Tell them, baby,” he whispered to Harley.
She kissed him before turning to the table. “We’re preggers. Well, I guess I’m preggers. Big Daddy over here helped, though.”
I gasped. Laney clapped her hands together. And Jack jumped to his feet.
“I’m going to be an uncle,” he shouted and threw his hands in the air, as everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at him. We all laughed.
I pushed to stand and made my way over to Ford and hugged him tight. “I’m happy for you. Congrats. You’re going to be a kick-ass dad.”
“Thanks. I’m damn well going to give it my best shot.”
“No doubt about it, brother.”
Laney hugged Harley and Ford and we all made our rounds.
When I returned to my seat, Laney leaned against my arm. I looked down to see her swipe at a falling tear.
“You okay?”
She looked up at me, her gaze full of emotion. “Yeah. Things are just coming together, huh? Everyone is moving forward. It just gives me so much, I don’t know, what’s the word? Hope? Yep. Hope.”
And she was right.
Life had a way of forcing you to move forward.
And that’s exactly what I planned to do with Laney.
Chapter Twenty-One
Laney
“Oh my gosh, when did you become such a baby?” I said with a laugh as we walked up the path toward Jenny’s office.
“A baby?” he gasped. “Did you just therapy shame me?”
I shook my head, trying to hide my smile with my hand. I’d come to see Jenny the day after I told Harrison everything. For some reason, now that I had told him what happened, I was okay sharing it with her. I hadn’t felt this good in years.
Free.
At peace.
But my boyfriend, as much as he liked to pretend that he was okay—he wasn’t. He wasn’t sleeping, and he was constantly distracted. I’d dropped a bomb on him that I’d been dealing with for five years. It was new for him. And for Harrison Montgomery, seeing the people he loved hurt was worse than being hurt himself. It was a big part of the reason I hadn’t told him for so long. I knew this would wreck him, and I didn’t want to go there. So, Jenny suggested we come together to therapy. He’d fought me on it, insisting he was fine. I’d pulled out the big guns and said I’d consider moving in with him if he was willing to talk this out with her—and he’d agreed to come today.
“Hey, if the shoe fits.” I smirked.
“I just don’t see the need to be here. I told you, I’m fine. But if it helps you, then I’ll do it.”
Whatever he needed to believe to get him here was fine with me.
“Great,” I said, knocking on the office door.
“Laney, hey there. You must be Harrison?” Jenny said, offering her hand to him.
“Yep. Nice to meet you.”
We took our seats on the sofa and she offered us each a water, which we accepted. I sat close to him, our fingers intertwined and rested between us.
“So, Harrison, I understand this is your first time in therapy?”
“Yes.”
Ford had been going since their father passed away, but Harrison always insisted that he was okay. That was his role—always being okay.
Even when he wasn’t.
“Well, nothing to be nervous about. We’re just here to talk through what Laney shared with you, and then later with me. It’s a lot to process.”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s horrific what she went through. I’m not sure why I’m here, but if it helps her, I’m happy to do it.”
Jenny nodded and glanced at me. “I get that. But it’s also not an easy thing to hear that someone you love was violated either, right?”
“Sure. But I didn’t go through what she did. I wasn’t violated. Laney was. So, my concern is with Laney.” His hand let go of mine and fisted as he moved it to his lap.
“Right. Exactly. But sometimes when our loved ones experience something horrific, it’s very difficult for us to process those things. To know what to do with that anger.”
“Yes. That makes sense. But I also think you have to man up. She’s the one who had to deal with what happened. The least I can do is just be here for her.”
“She did. And I do think finally sharing what happened with you has been a huge weight off her shoulders. She’s also five years ahead of you with this news, so she’s had time to process what happened. This is all new for you.”
“I’m glad she told me, and I’m happy to take any weight I can from her shoulders.”
“I’m sure you are. But taking some of that burden from Laney does not mean that it can’t cause you pain either.”
“Meaning?” he said, his posture stiffening beside me. He was irritated and making every attempt to hide it, but I knew him.
“Meaning, helping Laney with what happened doesn’t mean you can’t feel it also. You’re entitled to your feelings, Harrison. And hearing that the woman you loved was violated will obviously bring up a lot of anger.”
He nodded. “Okay. Sure. I’m angry. I’m fucking pissed.”
“Of course, you are. It’s okay for you to be angry, to be fucking pissed. Do you feel like you aren’t allowed to express that?”
“Pfft,” he threw his arms in the air, “how do I express that exactly? I can’t talk to anyone because it’s a secret. And I get that. I can’t go after the guy. I can’t punch anyone or break anything, right? I’m that guy. I keep my shit together. So, do I feel like I can express what I’m feeling? Hell no. And that’s okay. That’s the price I have to pay for what happened. For my role in this. I wasn’t there for her. It’s the least I can do.” He reached for my hand again, and I turned to face him.
“It’s not because you weren’t there for me, Harrison. It happened. Life happens. I’ve been holding all this in for so long, and now that it’s out, I feel—free. Better than I have in years. And that’s because of you,” I said, tears streaming down my face. “I thought that if I told you…you would look at me differently. Like I was weak or at fault. But instead, you looked at me with so much love, I found a way to look at myself that way again. I’m learning to love myself again because of how much you love me. Do you see how much you’re helping me, just by being here?”
“I love you so much, Laney. But yeah—this is killing me. I want to break something. Hurt someone. Make him pay for what he did to you. I want him to suffer the way you did.”
I placed a hand on each of his cheeks and forced him to look at me. “I felt that way for a long time too. But the truth is—he’s a miserable human being. He’s suffering, Harrison, in his own way. I don’t doubt that for a minute. And there are days I’m ashamed of myself for not coming forward because I was weak and scared. But I reported him to campus security. I’m sure they followed him. They were made aware. I wasn’t in a place to do more than that, and that’s something I have to live with. But I’ve also learned that living with that anger—it isn’t healthy. So, if you need to talk to Ford and Jack so you can get this off your chest and make peace with it, you can do that. I trust you. And I trust them. I realize now that it wasn’t fair of me to drop this bomb on you and not expect you to need to talk about it. To share that pain with someone other than me.” I nodded, as the tears continued to fall.