by Rinyu, Beth
This was the first time I’d ever seen Bridgette looking weak and vulnerable as she stood there with bated breath waiting for my response. “Well, Bridgette, I’m happy to see you displaying the one thing I was afraid you were lacking.”
She shook her head in confusion.
“Empathy. Now I’m certain I made the right choice in choosing you. I would say it was nice working with you, but since we’re both being honest here, I won’t.”
She closed her eyes and let out a defeated sigh as I skirted past her. In a few more hours, I’d be on a plane heading home. New York and everyone associated would soon be tucked away deep inside of me, like all the other bad memories in my life.
Chapter 35
Emme
“EM, MY ARM is killing me!” Bridgette scoffed as she ran the paint roller over the wall. We had been at it all day, but we were so close to finishing. I looked around the boutique, so proud of how it was all coming together, and so thankful to Myra for entrusting me to carry the torch. With any luck, I was hoping to have my grand opening sometime before Christmas. “Sure, overwork the pregnant lady.” Bridgette continued to roll the wall without missing a beat.
“What?” I put my paintbrush down and stared at her in disbelief.
She shrugged, trying to bite back a smile.
“When?” I screeched.
“March.”
I counted backward on my fingers. “February, January, December, November, October, September…three months! You’re three months pregnant and didn’t tell me until now!”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Everything was falling back into place for Bridgette. Connor had gotten a job making double what he was making before and now they were having a baby. I couldn’t have been happier.
“I’m going to be an aunt!” I threw my arms around her.
“Yes, you are!” She grinned as I bent down and kissed her belly. I couldn’t wait. It was as if it was happening to me. I planned on spoiling the life out of him or her.
“Do you know the sex?”
She shook her head.
“Well, are you going to find out?”
“Sorry, sista. You’re gonna have to wait with the rest of us.”
“Oh, Bridgette, that’s so not fair!”
“You’ll survive…” She cleared her throat and her gaze became more serious. “So, Em…on another note, Connor works with this guy…”
“No.” I picked up my paintbrush, turning my back to her and concentrating on the woodwork in front of me.
“Emme…let me finish!” she coaxed.
“I don’t want to be set up. I’m not ready.” I shook my head.
“Em, it’s been three months. He’s not coming back.”
Tears burned my eyes over the reality of her words. For the past three months, I buried myself in the boutique renovations and doting on my father, who had been recovering nicely all the while wishing Lukas would call, text…anything. I wondered what he was doing every day, and if he thought about me like I did about him. I still wasn’t over him, and part of me wondered if I’d ever be.
“Bridgette, I know he’s not coming back, but that still doesn’t change how I feel about him. I still think about him about a thousand times a day.”
She tilted her head to the side and let out a sympathetic sigh. “Em, I’m not saying you have to marry this guy, but at least it will be a first step, and maybe after, you’ll only think about Lukas nine hundred ninety-nine times a day.” She laughed.
She was right. What would it hurt? It would do me good to get out and socialize a little. I wasn’t sure if I even knew how to date anymore. “Fine! I’ll go.” I finally relented, dipping my finger in the paint tray and dabbing some on the tip of her nose.
_______________
Tom Richards was the perfect catch, successful investment banker, handsome, funny, and an A-plus personality. My sister really did know how to pick them, and if it were another time or if I had never met Lukas, it would’ve worked out perfectly. “So, this where you live?” He creased his eyebrows when we stopped in front of the boutique after he insisted he walk me home from the restaurant, which was only a few blocks away.
“Well, I’m kind of in limbo. Part of the time with my dad, and the other here, at least until I get my act together and finally transport all my stuff here. But I’ve just been so busy trying to get the boutique going, I kind of put moving on the backburner.”
“How’s it coming along?” he asked.
“Oh, you want to see?” I asked.
“Sure.” He nodded. I stepped in front of him and unlocked the door.
“It’s still got a long way to go, but it’s getting there,” I said as I flicked on the lights.
“Not bad!” His eyes widened as he took everything in.
“Yeah, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with that wall back there. It’s so big, it kinda needs something.
“What about a mural?”
“I never thought of that. That’s actually a great idea.”
“Make it something unique. Something that’s special to you, that maybe no one else would understand. Kinda like a tattoo.” He chuckled.
I gazed at the blank canvas in front of me, suddenly envisioning exactly what I wanted there, something that would have meaning to me and only one other person. A person who would never see it. “You know, that is a really awesome idea. Thank you.” I smiled.
“You’re very welcome.” A brief silence passed between us before he spoke once again. “So, Emme, would I be able to get your number, so we could go out again sometime?”
Memories of Lukas sitting at the bar, trying his hardest to get my number flashed into my mind. He was so determined. So adorable. So…I really needed to stop obsessing about him. I hated myself for not being able to say yes, but at the same time, I didn’t want to lead Tom on. “Look, Tom, I’m not sure if Connor filled you in on my sad…pathetic situation.”
“Maybe a little,” he confessed.
“I need to be honest because I was so dishonest the last time. I’m still not over it, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to accept another date with you, knowing that.” I threw my head back and laughed. “And believe me, as the words are coming out of my mouth, I know I’m crazy for saying no. This may sound cliché, but it’s really not. You’re everything a girl could ask for, and I truly do mean that.”
He nodded and chuckled, revealing his adorable dimples, but they still weren’t as appealing as Lukas’. “Wow, that’s the nicest blow-off I’ve ever gotten.”
“I’m sorry.” I sighed.
He shook his head. “It’s okay, Emme, I truly do appreciate your honesty.”
“That’s my new motto, but I’d like to think that maybe, we can be friends.”
“As long as I get an invite to the grand opening.”
“Of course!” I grinned. He held out his hand for me to shake it, but instead, I stood on my tippy-toes and planted a kiss on his cheek.
Chapter 36
Lukas
“IT’S BEEN WAY too long, mate,” Oliver, my old roommate from university and one of my best friends, bellowed as we sat in the London pub chugging down a pint.
He was right, it had been too long. Two years to be exact. In those two years, he had been on my case to come and visit, and I just blew him off with one excuse after another. But I needed a break. I needed a change of scenery to keep me from going insane with work and the other thoughts that plagued my mind. Thoughts of one person who was miles away. So here I was, spending the next three days catching up with my old friend while trying to chase away the memory of her.
“Don’t look now, but that cute blonde over there hasn’t stopped staring at you since we walked in.”
I didn’t look. I didn’t care. The last thing I needed was another woman.
“So, how’s life been treating you?” I asked.
“Pretty good, my friend. Pretty good.” Oliver smiled.
&n
bsp; He always seemed to fall right into luck. He came from a very wealthy family from London. Some people didn’t care for him because he had an air of entitlement to him, but I saw past that. He was a womanizer back at university and much hadn’t changed in that department since then, but deep down inside he was a great guy and even better friend. True, he did come from money, but he remained humble, teaching English literature at an over-privileged private secondary school, much like the one I attended when I was younger. Of course, he used that to his advantage, reciting verses from famous poets from years gone by to pick up women who were stupid enough to eat that shit up.
“What about you? How was your trip to the States? Shag any cute American girls while you were there?”
I shook my head a little too quickly to be believable, holding up my glass to the bartender for a refill.
“You did, and you’re holding out on me!” Oliver smacked me on the shoulder. “Spill it!”
“I-it was no one.”
“The fact you don’t want to tell me about her tells me she wasn’t just no one…she obviously was someone pretty special or you’d be telling me every single detail about how you got lucky, like we used to do back in the day.”
“Look, it was over three months ago. It’s in the past. I don’t want to talk about it.” Hard to believe it was already that long.
“Shite, man, she fucked you up, didn’t she?”
Another thing about Oliver, when you’d tell him you didn’t want to talk about something, he was guaranteed to talk about it more. “I guess you could say that.” He was the only person I’d ever admit that to. “I know what you’re thinking. I should’ve learned my lesson with Hannah. You’re right. I should have.” I took a chug of my beer the bartender had just placed in front of me. “I’m just stupid,” I mumbled.
“No, that’s not what I was thinking. Just because Hannah was a lying, cheating bitch, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever try to find another girl for you—the right girl.”
“Yeah, well, turns out this girl wasn’t the right one either.”
“Why’s that, my friend?”
Over two more beers and a few shots of whiskey, I had told him everything about Emmeline and the whole fucked-up situation. It felt good to get if off my chest, but at the same time I felt like I had opened up an old wound and let it bleed once again.
“Right, then.” He raked his hand through his unruly brown hair. “I don’t know what to say. That’s a tough one.”
“There’s nothing to say. It’s just another bad memory.” I shook my head. Emmeline was anything but a bad memory. My time spent with her was one of the happiest times of my life, until I found out the truth.
“I don’t know, Lukas. What she did was wrong…yes, but did you really have any intention of anything other than sex when you first got together? I mean, you picked her up in a bar and had what you thought was going to be a one-night stand, for fuck’s sake.”
“Okay, maybe I didn’t expect anything from it at first, but it turned out to be so much more, and she let it go on with this lie between us. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m in Germany, she’s in New York. It would’ve never worked out.”
“How do you know it wouldn’t have?” he pressed. “Look, what Hannah did was inexcusable, and I would’ve killed you if you took her back, but this girl…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I think you owe it to yourself to maybe at least forgive her. Maybe call her, talk to her. Even if you don’t end up getting back together, at least it will be some closure for you.” There was no point in even considering that. It wasn’t like I’d ever run into her again. It was just as well. I was sure she was moving on with her life and had forgotten all about us, the same way I needed to be doing.
“It’s pointless,” I murmured into my beer.
“I don’t know about that. You seem pretty miserable without her.” He raised his shot glass to his lip and slammed down another. “Can I just apologize again for leaving you on your own your first night here? Believe me, I tried getting out of this dinner.”
“It’s fine.” I shook my head and waved my hand, dismissing it.
He stood up and put on his coat. “You got the keys to the flat, right?”
I nodded after checking my pocket and hearing them jingling around. “I’m just gonna finish up my beer and then I’ll head back.”
He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “If you need someone to keep you company…” He jerked his head to the end of the bar. “I’ll be gone for a few hours. Just don’t do it in my bed.” He chuckled.
I shook my head and laughed it off, pulling out my phone as he walked out the door. I checked my emails, then the weather, anything to chase away the loneliness I was feeling, and then there she was. The girl I was trying to forget as I scrolled through my photos, posing with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other, wearing cutoff shorts, a white T-shirt, and a Yankees baseball cap. The day I had gone to my first American baseball game. Emmeline had surprised me with tickets that she had said were an early birthday present, since my birthday…our birthday was in December, long after baseball season was over. At first, I was angry at her for spending money I knew she didn’t have on them, and even angrier when she refused to take money from me for them. Suddenly Bridgette’s words in her office that day popped into my head, “You had become one of the few people in her circle, the ones she would do anything for at any cost to herself.”
“Hello there.” A female voice startled me. I closed the photo on my phone and turned my attention to the blonde who had taken a seat next to me. Oliver was right, she wasn’t bad at all. “I’m Gemma.” She held out her hand to me.
“Lukas.” I gently shook her hand.
“German?” she asked. Her accent sounded more like a Liverpool one than London.
I nodded, taking another swig of my beer as I thoroughly checked her out. She smiled, almost too welcoming of my assessment. So much like the girls I dated back home. Tall, blonde, perfectly manicured nails, perfect makeup. Nothing like the girl I wanted her to be. Brunette, naturally beautiful without all the makeup, adorable smile. When was this gonna stop? She fucked me over big-time, and I was still letting her into my head.
“You here on business?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Visiting an old friend. I’m heading back to his place as soon as I’m done with this.” I lifted my beer.
She began to speak and my mind drifted.
“Hey there.” I turned to the perky voice who had snuck up next to me. I was beyond buzzed and well on my way to being wasted, but as I stared down at her in my drunken haze, I was still able to register just how beautiful she was. Her eyes. Even in that poorly lit bar area, her eyes stood out like nothing I’d ever seen before.
“Hey to you.” I grinned, throwing back the rest of my drink.
“I’m Emme, and I think you’re pretty cute,” she shouted over the music and giggled. Clearly, she was as drunk as I was.
“I’m Lukas, and I think you’re pretty cute too.”
“Are you Russian?”
I shook my head and laughed.
“Polish?” She tilted her head and cinched her eyebrows.
“Nope. One more guess.”
“And what do I get if I get it right?” she asked, taking a step closer and staring up at me.
“What do you want?” I whispered, moving my mouth closer to hers.
She stood on her tippy-toes and skimmed my cheek with her lips. “German?”
I nodded.
“I’ll take you,” she whispered in my ear.
I smiled at the memory. It was the first time that night had come to me so clearly.
Gemma chewed on her bottom lip and moved closer. “How about we head out to my place first?” She moved her hand down to my thigh as I considered her offer. Everything inside of me was telling me no, but maybe this was what I needed, a rebound to rid Emmeline from my thoughts for good.
“Okay.” I nodded then threw some money on the bar
and followed her out of the pub.
Gemma’s place was just a short walk away. She unlocked the door, threw her keys on the table in the entryway, and wasted no time getting down to business, taking my face in her hands and covering my mouth with hers. After taking me off guard for a split second with her abruptness, I finally snapped out of it, pushing her against the wall and meeting her lips with the same intensity. I unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra, trying desperately to get into it until thoughts of Emmeline crept into my mind once again. The way she’d climb on top of me and I’d have to concentrate on something else other than her beautiful naked body rocking back and forth to keep it from ending too soon until I couldn’t hold out any longer and lose myself inside of her. She’d look down at me and smile, dropping her head to my lips as her long, messy hair curtained my face, and I couldn’t imagine sharing that with anyone else ever again.
Gemma unfastened my belt, and Emmeline was there again, sneaking up behind me, her hands finding their way to my belt buckle and then the button and zipper on my pants. She’d give them a tug along with my boxers and then stealthily move around to the front of me, trying her best to look sexy, but just coming off as absolutely adorable. She’d drop to her knees and her lips would trail down my stomach, teasing me for what she had in store next.