by Carrie Elks
Closer up, she looked a little thinner than he’d remembered, but since he mostly saw her in the dark, he had no idea how true that was. But it was still her. With those piercing blue eyes and dark tumble of curls framing her pale white face.
She opened her mouth then closed it again.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“How was your flight?” she said at exactly the same time.
They both gave a little laugh, in embarrassment more than anything else. He walked around the bench and sat next to her. The creek was high at this time of year, the water bubbling into white foam as it met a cluster of rocks in the center, then turning a clear blue again as it raced its way past the bank. “My flight was good,” he said, his voice soft as he shifted to look at her. “Are you okay?” he repeated. “You look a little tired.”
He’d had enough experience to know that telling a woman she was tired was treading a thin line. But she didn’t react negatively. Instead, she pressed her mouth together and nodded.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said, swallowing hard. “And I’m not sure you’re going to be happy about it.”
Logan frowned. “What is it?” he asked, shifting in his seat.
She took a deep breath, then rolled her shoulders back. “I should just get it over with, right?” She gave a little laugh, though there was no humor in her eyes. “So here it is. I’m pregnant. Ten weeks, if my calculations are right. And there’s been nobody else.” She blew out some air, her mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. “So yeah, it’s yours.” Looking down, she turned her hands over, scanning them as though they held all the answers.
Logan blinked, his mouth dropping open at the sudden onslaught of information. He felt as though he’d been kicked in the gut. “No,” he said, his voice thick. “That can’t be right.”
“Three pregnancy tests tell me otherwise.”
His body felt as light as air. As though it could rise up to the sky at any minute. His heart hammered in his chest like he’d just received a shot of adrenaline through his ribcage.
Courtney Roberts was pregnant.
And the baby was his.
“Shit.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t a damn ogre. He’d been brought up well enough to know that contraception was as much his responsibility as it was hers.
And that’s why he’d always been so damn vigilant about it.
“The night you were sick,” he said, realization washing over him. They’d made love in her bed unexpectedly.
“I think so. We didn’t use anything, did we?”
He tried to think, his mind searching through the images of her naked in his arms. Of the sound of her breaths, the smell of her skin. Had he grabbed a condom from his wallet the way he always did?
He couldn’t remember using anything.
“What do you plan to do about it?” he asked her, still mentally beating himself up at being so irresponsible and landing them both here.
“I’m keeping the baby,” she told him, her voice soft. “But I’m not expecting anything from you. I’m not trying to trap you.”
“I know that.” He frowned, because this was so messed up. “I didn’t think you were. I’m just trying to take this all in. I had no fucking idea.”
She nodded, giving him a tight smile. “It’s a lot to think about.”
“It sure is.” He felt like his entire body had been bitch slapped a hundred times.
“And if you want to leave to go think, I’m okay with that. I was blindsided, too. It took me hours to even take a second pregnancy test. But I’ve had some time to take it in. I’m kind of ahead of you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need to go. I just need to…” He sighed. “I have questions.” So damn many. “Is it okay if I ask them?”
“Of course.” She nodded, her face open.
“When did you find out?”
She ran the tip of her finger along her lip. “Last week. A few days before I messaged you.”
“And you didn’t suspect before? You have to have missed at least two periods, right?” He tried hard to keep his voice non-accusing. Because this wasn’t her fault. If anybody was to blame, it was him.
She was sick when they made love. He had no excuse for forgetting to protect them both.
“I had a small bleed the first month. I assumed that was my period. And this time there was nothing. It took me a few days to even think about the possibility of being pregnant. As far as I knew, I’d had a period since we were last together.” Her words were as soft as the clouds above them. “But then it still didn’t come, and I had to drive to Maple Cross to buy a pregnancy test because I couldn’t buy it in the drugstore in town.”
“Because people would talk,” he murmured.
“It’s stupid, right? Because they’re gonna talk like crazy now. As soon as they find out. Courtney Roberts is having a baby, even though her husband’s cold in the ground. It’s like an early Christmas gift for the town gossips.”
A surge of anger washed over him. Because she was right. People would whisper behind her back. They’d watch her with raised eyebrows, and exchange glances with each other every time her belly got a little bigger.
“If anybody gives you a hard time they’ll have me to answer to.”
She arched an eyebrow at him.
“I mean it,” he told her, his voice low. “You’re having my baby. I’ll take care of you.” His eyes clashed with hers. “We should get married.”
She barked out a laugh, and he felt like he’d been slapped.
“Oh god, that’s so sweet,” she told him. “But we already agreed a relationship between us would never work. You’re in Boston, I’m here. And I can tell from the look of shock on your face that you never planned on having kids with me. So thank you for being gallant, but no. We really shouldn’t get married.”
He hated that she was right. Another man – a better man – wouldn’t take no for an answer.
But he wasn’t a better man. Never had been. He was selfish and single minded, as well as a damned workaholic. Exactly the kind of man no kid deserved to have as a father.
But this poor kid didn’t have a choice.
“You need to know I’ll do whatever it takes,” he told her, his expression serious. “I can pay for your medical care, buy things for the baby. Whatever you both need.”
“You don’t need to make any promises now,” she said, her eyes as cool as the water in front of them. “We have months to sort everything out. You probably need to talk it through with somebody. I know I did. News like this takes some getting used to.”
His thoughts immediately turned to his brothers. Cam would be busy training. He’d probably buy Logan a pack of condoms and tell him to take better care next time.
As for Tanner, their younger brother, he was as clueless as Logan and Cam about kids. Though at least he could hold down a relationship, having married his childhood best friend.
Gray might be able to help. Their eldest brother was the proud father of twins himself. Logan thought back to when Presley and Marley were born. He’d visited the following weekend, marveling at their tiny little fingers and toes. And how they could make more noise than he’d believed humanly possible.
In a few months, he’d have one of those tiny human amplifiers of his own. He’d be a father. Responsible for another life, for the happiness not only of their baby but of Courtney as well.
For as long as she stayed single. And a woman like her wouldn’t stay single for long. Not even with a baby. She was too beautiful, both inside and out. One day his kid would have a step father and he’d have to watch them play happy family. The thought of it made his hands curl into fists.
Yeah, well she doesn’t want to marry you. She made that perfectly clear.
He felt like a computer being fed way too much information. The rainbow colored circle in his head kept spinning.
“Have you told many people?” he asked her.
“Just Lainey.”
Her eyes caught his again. “She was there when I took the first test.”
“I wish I’d been there.” The words came without any thought. She blinked in surprise.
“You can come to the appointment I made for next week if you want,” she told him. “But I guess with you being in Boston it’ll be hard.”
“I’ll be there,” he said firmly. “When is it?”
“Next Thursday at two.”
He had an all day meeting on Thursday with the chef of their new restaurant. He and Paris were due to go through the menu, tasting every item, and approving what worked. She was going to be pissed.
“I’ll fly back in on Thursday morning,” he told Courtney.
“You don’t have to come to everything. I know how hard it’ll be to try to juggle work and all this stuff.” She gestured at her stomach. “I can ask my friend to come with me.”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I want to be there for every appointment.”
“Let’s talk about things like that later. It’s not going to be easy with you in Boston. And that’s before we even start talking about custody. I have absolutely no idea how people deal with having a child while living in different states.” She gave a little shiver, pulling her thin grey coat tightly across her. “It’s getting cold.”
“I should let you go,” he said, doing everything he could to stop himself from reaching out to warm her up. “Before you get sick again.”
Her lips curled up. “Oh, I’ve been sick most days. Another little joy this baby brings.”
“Did you drive here?” he asked.
“Yeah, my car’s in the town square.”
He felt a flash of disappointment of not being able to drive her home. “I’ll walk you to it.”
“That’s not a good idea,” she told him. “Not yet. People will talk. But just so you know, I’m planning on telling my in-laws about the baby tomorrow. I figure once we go to the prenatal appointment everybody will know, and I’d rather they hear it from me first.”
“Do you mind if I tell my brother?” He needed to talk to somebody.
Her gaze was as soft as the clouds above them. “I don’t mind at all. This is your baby, too.” She went to stand, then lurched toward him, and he reached out to catch her. Half-standing, he wrapped his hands around her waist, steadying her against him.
And damn if she didn’t feel good in his arms. Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed up at him, eyes wide. The same way she’d stared at him that night when he’d slid inside her, and they’d made a baby neither of them agreed on.
His baby, now growing inside of her. His eyes immediately dipped to her stomach. It was covered by her coat.
But one day it would swell and grow to accommodate his child. How would he feel watching her like that? Part of him wanted to hide away. And the other? It wanted to grab her and run somewhere that he could keep them all safe. Protect them from the storm he knew this pregnancy would unleash in this town.
“Sorry. I keep getting dizzy.” She angled her head up at him, and for a moment all he could think about were those lips. Soft, warm, and welcoming. It would take only a second to dip his head and press his mouth against hers. Just a moment to taste her again.
And then he’d be fucked. Because everything about her was alluring. But she didn’t want him, not like that. If she hadn’t made that clear two months ago, she sure did today.
“I should go,” he said quickly. He needed to get away from the floral aroma of her. To breathe fresh air again. “Are you sure I can’t walk you to your car?”
“Not this time.”
“Can I call you?” he asked.
“Of course. I guess we have things to talk about. And I’ll see you on Thursday, right?”
“Yeah.” Another mess he’d have to work through. “But I’ll call you before that. Before I leave.”
“You’re going back to Boston in between?”
“I have to. I’ve got a lot going on.”
She nodded. “I can imagine.”
“But I’ll call you tomorrow night. Once I’ve…”
“Got your head straight,” she said, smiling.
He gave the smallest of laughs. “Something like that.”
“Thank you for taking it so well. And being so kind. A lot of guys wouldn’t.”
The thought of it infuriated him. “You’re the mother of my kid, Courtney. I’ll do whatever is needed to take care of you both. We’ll work this out.” He sounded surer than he felt.
They started to walk toward the lane. Her eyes darted to the left, as though she was checking if anybody was there.
“My car’s in the lot,” he said, pointing at the cracked pavement at the back of the church.
He looked at her, the silence of the November evening curling around them like mist. Her eyes locked with his, and for a moment it felt like his heart had forgotten to beat.
“I’ll see you later, Logan,” she said, giving him a tight smile.
He nodded. “Drive safely.” He didn’t add that she had precious cargo to worry about.
Courtney smiled at him. “I always do.”
She turned and started walking up the lane, her hips swinging, her dark curls bouncing with every movement. For a moment he watched her, desire shooting through him like it always did when he was near her.
He was going to have to work on that.
Letting out a long sigh, he walked back to his car, climbing into the driver’s seat and pulling the door closed. Then he dropped his face to the wheel, his brow pressing against the soft leather, and let out a growl of frustration.
Happy Thanksgiving. By the time the next one comes round, you’ll be a daddy.
Chapter Eleven
She’s pregnant. The words echoed around his head, hitting the sides like a pinball on acid. Logan sat in his car in the driveway outside Gray’s sprawling ranch house, leaning his head back against the headrest, his eyes closed for a moment.
Breathe. He needed to breathe. There had to be some way to figure this out. That’s what he did; took problems, twisted them around, and made them into opportunities. There was never an issue he couldn’t solve.
Not with the business.
Not with his friends.
Even regarding his love life he’d figured out the problem with the help of his therapist. His problem was he couldn’t give a woman what she wanted. So he’d learned to be up front. Not promise something he couldn’t give.
Like being the father to a child who’d need all of his attention.
Lifting his head up, Logan yanked at the driver’s side door and climbed out, rolling his neck to ease the knots in his muscles. The graveled pathway crunched beneath his feet as he walked up to the porch, stepping between the rows of pumpkins that Maddie must have laid out on the steps.
Pressing the doorbell, he inhaled a lungful of cool autumn air, but it did nothing to help regain his equilibrium.
Courtney was pregnant. The words echoed in his head again, starting off the whole chain reaction of tight jaw, shallow breaths, and aching chest.
“You made it.” Gray’s wife, Maddie, grinned as she opened the door, one of the twins on her hip as she stepped aside to let him in.
“Bro!” Tanner walked into the hallway, his face lighting up when he saw Logan standing there. Behind him was his wife, Van. The pretty blonde lifted her hand in a wave.
“Thank god you’re here,” Tanner said, pulling his brother into a hug. “Becca wants us all to go to Gray’s studio for another damn karaoke competition.” He wrapped Logan in an enthusiastic hug. “You’ll save me, won’t you?”
“No he won’t.” Becca joined them in the hallway, pushing Tanner aside so she could hug Logan. “Because he knows what’s good for him.” She looked up at Logan. “Hey, are you okay? You look really pale.”
“I’m fine.” Logan’s voice was gruff. “Just tired, is all.” He gave his sister a tight smile. “I don’t suppose I can go and freshen up, can I?”
Maddie
nodded. “Oh, of course. We’ve got you in the guest room on the first floor. In the room next to ours.” Presley started to cry on her hip. Or was it Marley? Logan wasn’t completely certain. Whichever of his nephews it was, they were loud as hell. “The twins inherited Gray’s voice,” Maddie told him. “Neither one of them came with a volume control.” She turned her head to the side. “Gray, can you come and show Logan to his room? Presley needs a diaper change. He stinks.”
Gray walked into the hallway, holding Marley in one arm and a bottle of wine in the other. His face split into a smile when he saw Logan standing by the front door. “I didn’t realize you were here,” he said, passing the wine bottle to Becca and reaching to hug Logan with one arm. “Sorry, bro. Was topping up dad and Aunt Gina’s wine.” He glanced at Becca. “Dad’s fallen asleep three times already. Sis, you may regret agreeing to be their designated driver.”
“I always regret being the designated driver.” Becca sighed. “And yet somehow I always get suckered into it.”
Logan took another deep breath, trying to center himself. The hallway echoed with the chatter of his family as Maddie and Gray started talking about what time to put the twins to bed, and Becca, Tanner, and Van started to discuss the set up in Gray’s recording studio. Presley had stopped crying, and was now pulling at Marley’s shirt, as though trying to take it off.
This was home. This was real. This was his family. For the next two days, maybe he could ignore the ache that was pulling at his stomach, and pretend his meeting with Courtney hadn’t happened.
Gray and Maddie swapped babies, and Gray inclined his head at Logan. “Come with me,” he said, heading toward the bedrooms. Logan followed him, his overnight bag in his hands, biting down a smile at the way Presley was looking at him over Gray’s shoulder, his head bopping up and down as they walked down the hallway.
Gray and Maddie’s kids were cute. Two little blond bombshells who were certain to be heartbreakers one day.
For a second, Logan wondered what his and Courtney’s baby would look like. If it was a girl, would she have Courtney’s dark curls and piercing blue eyes? Or would she look like a Hartson, with hair that grew darker as she aged.