I know I will never compete again, that part of my life is over. It left the minute my family died. For the first time since that night, I can honestly say I’m okay with that, I know it will never be the same without them. At least now I know that I can go to the ocean or a pool without having a meltdown. Hmmm. The ocean, I miss it. Maybe I’ll take a trip there soon.
God, this feels so amazing. I could float around all night like this. The memories that I feared would come back never do. The only memories are the happy ones, the ones that I forgot.
I sink down to the bottom of the pool again, one of my favorite places in the world. It’s so quiet. It’s peaceful, beautiful. It’s like everything drifts away while I’m under here. This is the place I missed most of all. This is my happy place.
When I surface, Jax waits at the edge of the pool with his feet in and a towel in his lap. I swim towards him. I brace both hands on the outside of his legs, and peer up at him.
“Thank you for pushing me to remember who I am again and for everything you do for me, Jax.”
His fingers travel over my shoulders. Then, in a move so fast I don’t see it coming, he grips my underarms, lifts me out of the water and sets me on his lap. I go all too willingly. He drapes the towel around my shoulders and rubs it into my skin. Jax twirls a strand of my wet hair.
“I didn’t do anything. This was all you, Ads. You did this. You faced your fear.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I only helped you realize what you already knew.” He tilts my head up by my chin. “You are the strongest person I know, Adalynn. One day you’ll see yourself how I see you.”
I melt into him. He continues to dry me with the towel, rubbing circles into my back, making me fall asleep.
Stretching my arms over my head, I yawn. My left leg bumps into something warm and solid. My eyes fly open. I don’t see my stars hanging over my bed. I know this plain white celling. Crap! Slowly I turn my head to see a bemused Jax in bed beside me.
“I know, I know I look amazing in the morning, but you don’t have to stare, Ads,” he says as he flexes his arms out in front of him, making his muscles pop.
Man! I can’t catch a break with this guy. It’s so unfair for him to look this good this early. Silently I curse The God. I have the sudden urge to punch his stupid smug grin off his face. I resist, barely. Forcing my gaze away from his delicious pecs that belong on billboards everywhere, I pointedly look him up and down.
Sassily I say, “You know the room down the hall and to the right have a much better view than this one. Maybe next time you could put me in that one.”
“Yeah, I should do that next time. Besides, then I wouldn’t have to fight you off in your sleep.”
My mouth drops open.
“Don’t worry kiddo, I was able to keep you at bay and get some sleep.”
Kiddo? I glare at him. He laughs, finding me amusing. Wonderful.
He gets out of bed and makes a show off striding to his bathroom in just his black briefs. Yup, my mouth is fully agape now. I’m pretty sure there’s now drool on his blanket, but I don’t care.
All I’m able to do is gawk at him dumbfounded as he walks into his bathroom and closes his door. Groaning, I slam my head down, clutch the closest pillow and scream my frustration into it. Jax’s mouthwatering smell hits me unexpectedly, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise since I’m in his bed clenching his pillow to my face, but it is. I throw the pillow across the room.
Stupid boy.
Stupid tattoos.
Stupid green eyes.
I hear the shower turn on so I decide it’s safe to sneak out before he notices. My emotions run wild, too wild to be around him right now. Everything he has done confuses the crap out of me. One minute I’m nothing more than his best friend’s little sister, the next it seems I’m something more, much more. I can’t deal with this right now.
I open his drawer where he keeps his workout clothes. I steal a pair of basketball shorts, then pull down a black hoodie from a hanger and change. I spot my clothes and shoes from last night on the bench in front of his bed. After picking up everything, I rush out of his bedroom.
I call down to the lobby for a cab so I don’t have to hail one in what looks to be the outfit from a one night stand. After hanging up, I write him a note.
Thanks for last night.
I want to say something more, but I can’t force myself to go through with it. Everything about last night was perfect. Because of his insistent pushing, I have another piece of myself.
After placing the note on the coffee maker, I leave. Just in time, too, because right when I reach the elevator I hear him calling my name. As the doors close, I sigh in relief. I don’t know which Jax I’ll get if I stay. I can’t deal with the cold and distant Jax, especially after last night.
An hour later, I lock myself in my apartment and sag against the door. After a minute of sitting on the floor, I force myself into the living room. I drop everything on my coffee table, grab my phone from my clutch and go into the bathroom for a much needed bath.
I strip out of Jax clothes, and draw the perfect bath, complete with bath salts and oils, in record time. Sitting on the edge of the tub, I go to text Harper. Immediately, I see I have a ton of missed calls and texts. Crap! Hopefully Harper is okay. I frown at the missed calls from Kohen. Using my index thumb I scroll up, up, up, and up some more. Missed calls from him fill my entire call log.
What . . . the . . . fuck . . .
I have voicemails . . . all twelve are from Kohen. I tap my foot as I listen to the first one, hoping he isn’t seriously injured.
Hey babe, just wondering how your night is going. I miss you. Call me when you get back. Okay . . . bye.
The next one is ten minutes later.
Hey still haven’t heard anything from you. Just checking in to make sure you’re okay. Call me if you need anything.
How cute, he’s worried about me which makes me the worst person in the world. While he worried about me, I ended up at the penthouse of a guy that I secretly love. Fantastic, I’m an amazing person. They should make a shrine in my honor. With that sarcastic thought, I press play for the next voicemail that occurred five minutes later.
You and Harper must really be having a great time at girls’ night. Why aren’t you answering any of my calls or returning my texts? I’m worried, please let me know you’re safe when you get a chance. Okay, well I guess I’ll talk to you whenever you decide to call me back. Bye.
I listen to the next one that comes twenty minutes later.
Hey, I know I’ve called a lot, but I’m just worried about you. I wish you would at least text me back so I know you aren’t lying in an alley somewhere. I really hate it when you ignore me like this. Call me when you get this, or the other messages I’ve left.
When have I ever ignored him? Oh yeah, that’s right never. Reluctantly I press play on the next one.
Adalynn, where are you? It’s almost eleven. Are you planning on staying out all night with that girl that you just met? Be safe, please.
Okay, if you’re trying to piss me off it’s worked. Now call me back before I have to go look for your drunken ass. Thanks!
I’m a little taken aback from the last voicemail. I know I could have checked my phone when I was out, but I was having a good time. I didn’t want to be that chick with her hand glued to her phone all night. I hate that chick. Plus, I didn’t know he would be so worried about me. It’s not like I was going out by myself or that I was in a sketchy area. Whenever I do call him, I need to explain that it’s not okay to blow up my phone like this. I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration while I listen to the rest of the messages.
Addie, I’m sorry for the last voicemail. I’m a little on edge. I don’t like that you’re out there drinking without me to protect you. It makes me nervous. Please, please babe call me back when you get this.
Thank you for not calling me back all night or even responding to any of my text messages, I really appreciate it. I g
uess I’ll see you on Sunday if you’re not still ignoring me. Hope you and your friend had fun tonight, at least one of us did.
I just stopped by your place, why aren’t you answering the door?
It’s three am and you’re still not back.
Call me.
It’s now five am. I guess I’ll get off the floor and go to back to my place to wait for your call. Hopefully you and your best friend that you just met made it back to her place since you’re obviously not coming back to yours. Call me.
Slapping my hand over my face, I groan. Tossing the phone down, I shut off the water before it overflows. Instead of lowering myself into the tempting bath, I retrieve my phone to text Kohen.
I don’t bother to read the several texts he sent last night. There’s no point, I just listened to it, I don’t need to read it, too. I feel badly enough for how irresponsible I was last night for not texting him and letting him know I was okay. Of course he would worry, he’s that type of guy. The guy that cares deeply and is considerate to others. Opposite of how I was last night.
I type a few different responses without sending them. I have no idea what to say. It’s not like I can tell him I was with Jax. Yeah, I doubt that would go over well. I want to be honest with him, but at the same time I don’t. I know I didn’t do anything to feel guilty about, but after listening to how upset he got, I can’t help but feel remorse for sharing a bed with Jax.
Sighing in defeat, I send him a text as close to the truth as I can manage. There’s no way I can call him, I’m a coward. I remind myself that he doesn’t need to know the rest. I was hanging out with a friend. No big deal.
Me: Hey! I just checked my phone. I didn’t even think about checking it last night when I was out. But I had a lot of fun at girls’ night with Tinkerbell!!! I’m sorry I worried you. I’ll make it up to you. Promise . . . How about after brunch we go out just you and I? My treat . . .
Kohen: Did you spend the night at Harper’s? How does a date at the carnival sound?
I chew on my lip, contemplating telling the truth. I ignore his first question and hope he doesn’t get mad.
Me: Can’t wait. See you then.
I wait a minute to see if he texts me back, but he doesn’t. After setting my phone on a towel near the tub, I finally step inside. Oh sweet baby Jesus, this feels heavenly. I will my body to relax, to shut my mind off of the drama that surrounds me, and relax in the tub.
Saturday has come and gone with little-to-no stress. Kohen made me dinner at his place and is taking me to a carnival today after brunch. I’m way too excited. I haven’t been to a carnival since I was a little girl. I was all for ditching out on brunch, but Kohen insisted. Plus, I want everyone to meet Harper.
I lean against Kohen’s shoulder as we walk to the restaurant. He reaches out to open the door for me. Always such a gentleman, this one. I see a blur of red before someone tackles me into a hug. I fall back against Kohen and he steadies me while Harper hugs me.
“Nice to see you too,” I say once I’m finally able to breathe air into my lungs.
She lets go, extends her hand to Kohen and singsongs in her southern accent, “I’m the best friend, Tinkerbell, but please call me Harper.” I laugh. “You must be the boyfriend that I’ve heard so much about.” I stop laughing.
I catch myself from dropping my jaw on the floor and glare at the traitor in front of me. I can’t believe she said that to him. Great, now he’ll think I’m serious about him. Am I? Nope, definitely not . . . at least yet. I am, however, ready to kill a tiny redhead that I know.
Kohen laughs and pulls me back to his side. “One day I hope to be introduced as her boyfriend, but until she’s ready, I’ll just keep her around for arm candy, Harper.”
I kiss him on the cheek before glaring at my former best friend. She ignores my obvious irritation and links her arm with mine as we stroll to our table. I stop dead in my tracks when I see Jax. Why is he here? Just to torment me? Probably.
Harper peers back at me when she notices that I stopped walking. She follows my gaze to Jax, her mouth pops open. She looks back at me with wide eyes and mouths, “Lover?”
I nod. Sighing, I square my shoulders and grip her arm a lot tighter than necessary. Here goes nothing.
Chapter Sixteen
I can’t hide my shock from seeing him. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I stayed up half the night worrying about him coming today. I knew I would get these stupid butterflies in my stomach. It hurts to see him sitting here so casually.
“So the lover’s here, things just got interesting!” Harper whispers into my ear.
Jax is the first to rise, followed by my brother, and lastly Connor. To my surprise, Harper stops mid-step and Connor seems confused at first, then bemused when he glances from Harper to me. Maybe I should have sent him a picture of her face instead of just her body. Kohen halts with me. Everyone is deadly silent as we watch the two.
Connor looks as if he just won some kind of contest while Harper turns a little green. I’m about to break the tension and ask her what the hell is going on, but she composes herself. She holds her chin high and introduces herself to everyone. I stand with Kohen, baffled.
Harper pauses with her introduction when she gets to Connor. Which of course piques my interest. Do they know each other? What is going on? The questions run wild in my head, but I force myself to remain calm and nonchalant.
She keeps her hands firmly at her sides. What I wouldn’t give to drag her aside and demand answers.
“You must be the playboy that I’ve heard so much about,” she practically sneers at him.
Logan spits his water all over the table, getting a little on Connor, who doesn’t notice. The only thing he’s aware of is Harper. This is not good. Retreat, retreat, I want to shout at everyone. Kohen holds my chair out for me, but I don’t sit. I’m too busy watching the car wreck happening right in front of me.
“And you must be the little fireball I’ve heard a lot about.” He rubs his chin with his thumb and index finger. “Do you go by Elizabeth or Tinkerbell these days?” he asks in a condescending tone.
Elizabeth? Who is he talking about? I stare at Harper, wondering why she would give him a different name. She flexes her hand as if she wants to punch him. Not a common response from the ladies when it comes to Connor. They love his easy personality. Then again, he’s usually nice.
We’re halfway through brunch when I finally can’t take it anymore. Everything has gone smoothly, except that Jax refused to pass Kohen the pepper. I steer all conversation away from Jax and Kohen in an effort to keep the peace. I restrain myself from kicking Jax in the shins. Doesn’t Jax realize that he’s being obvious? Luckily Harper and Connor keep the attention on them. They first made it a point to ignore each other, but now they’re egging each other on. The elephant in the room needs to be addressed, now.
“Okay what the hell is going on? Do you two know each other or something?” I demand.
I’m met with silence. My brother coughs, covering his laugh. He has insider information, I know it. Their silence is all the answer I need, but I push anyways. Patience has never been my thing.
“Well?”
“No,” Harper says at the same time Connor says, “Yes.”
She glares at him, but doesn’t elaborate. I cross my arms over my chest. My brother mouths something to Connor, but I can’t catch what he says. I’m a horrible lip reader. Another few awkward minutes pass in silence before Connor sighs dramatically and clears his throat. Harper looks like she is about to punch him.
Raising his mimosa for a toast Connor says, “This one that you call Tinkerbell, Addie, hit me with her car almost a year ago and I haven’t seen her since. Oh, and she also went by Elizabeth back then.” He tilts his champagne flute towards her then to me. “Thanks for making friends with the enemy.”
I was so not expecting that. I was thinking they slept together and he never called her back. Not this! Everyone speaks at once. I sit speechless, gap
ing at Harper. This is why I’m the only one who sees what she’s about to do. My mouth drops open.
She pours the entire pitcher of water on Connor’s head. Then, to shock us all, she slaps him across the face. I don’t mean a little girl slap you would expect from someone her size, either. Nope, a bitch slap so powerful everyone in the restaurant winces. It’s eerily quiet. I think everyone is too afraid to speak. I know I am. She leans over and whispers something to Connor that nobody else can hear. His jaw pops in anger.
Plastering the fakest smile I’ve ever seen she says, “Your womanizing friend has greatly exaggerated, as I’m sure he does to get women into his bed every night, even though he can’t really perform as he would like everyone to believe.”
Jax and Logan double over in laughter. The kind that shakes their entire bodies. Kohen seems as uncomfortable as I feel. I opt for a smile because I don’t know what’s about to happen. This can go either way. Harper surprises me yet again by standing and collecting her purse. She embraces me.
“I should say I’m sorry, but we both know I would be lying. I have to go though, I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
She says goodbye to everyone. Connor cleans himself up with the hand towel our waiter brought him.
“Memorable as always, Evans.”
How does she know his last name? Connor looks way too pleased with himself. Why is he smiling? Something is seriously wrong with him. We watch Harper leave the restaurant. Jax gives Connor the third degree before I can.
“That’s her?” he asks.
“Have you seen her since that night?” my brother asks Connor, who nods at Jax.
Okay, clearly I’m the only one out of the loop. Awesome, my favorite place to be. I point the end of my butter knife at Connor’s face and give him my best you’re-going-to-be-dead-if-you-don’t-answer-me look.
Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) Page 24