Foes & Cons

by Carrie Aarons

  “I love you.” I sigh as we come to a stop and he lifts me off my toes.

  We’re hugging, his nose buried in my hair, when the clapping starts.

  “All right!” Matt slow claps, then uses his fingers to whistle loudly.

  “My, my, I need a glass of water.” Nate fans his face.

  “Yeah, that’ll work. No one will be bored by that.” Laura gives us a wry smile.

  A lot of our other classmates whoop or holler, and I bury my face in Sawyer’s shoulder. I’ve never been crazy about PDA, but with him I can’t help it.

  I also can’t help but think about how much happier of a person I am now that we’re together. We had a two-year road block, but I truly believe this is what was meant to happen between us.

  It might have taken us a while to get here, but now that we are, I am one of those cliché girls. I’m stumbling over my words, unable to take my eyes off him, goofy at the thought of him kissing me.

  And I love it.

  29

  Sawyer

  My head is in Blair’s lap, The Bell Jar poised above me, as she balances a psychology textbook on the arm of the couch.

  In all of my wildest fantasies, I never thought cozying up on her basement couch and studying together would be one of them. But I can see why companionship is so valued in relationships. It’s no secret that since we made up in the cafeteria, and I publicly declared my love for her, we’ve been getting naked as often as we can.

  I’ve been more patient than a monk when it comes to hooking up with Blair, it’s been years of waiting, and although we haven’t had sex yet, we’re getting very good at every other base on the diamond. Exploring every part of her, figuring out which noise she makes when I touch her here or there, teaching her what feels good for me—it’s become my favorite subject.

  But today my girlfriend put her foot down and said I could only come over if I keep my hands to myself. She needs to study. And so here I am, hands to myself, but head in her lap. It’s comforting, an intimate closeness that two people couldn’t share if they were just in it for the lust. What we have is deeper though, and cozying up together while we both do our own separate homework feels just as intimate as when I’m stripping her down.

  I get it now, why love is all-encompassing. It isn’t just about lusting over a person or wanting to get them naked. There is an innate trust between you two, an understanding that this person will be around whether you’re at your highest high or lowest low. Blair and I might be young, but we have so much history together. She knows me; she knows who I truly am. And vice versa.

  Sighing loudly, it’s obvious I’m trying to get her attention.

  “Read your book, Sawyer.” She clucks her tongue disapprovingly without looking up from her book.

  “I like it when you’re bossy.” I do the exact opposite and set my book down, then bury my nose in her abdomen.

  She squirms, which causes her textbook to slip a little. “Sawyer!”

  “What?” My voice is muffled. “Can you blame me?”

  Inhaling her scent of cinnamon and peaches, I want to distract her to the point of abandoning her studying. Sylvia Plath is depressing, and we’re seniors, there shouldn’t even be a need to focus on schoolwork so much.

  “I told you the rules when you said you wanted to come over.” Her amber eyes glitter down at me.

  Donning my best puppy dog pout, I fire back, “But then you came down in yoga pants and you smell so good and your dad isn’t home …”

  Blair swats me away. “I have to study.”

  “Let’s go get food, I’m hungry.” I try a different tactic.

  “There is food in the kitchen.” She points down the hall.

  My lower lip pushes out in a pout. “But then I would have to make it, and I’m no good at that. How about we order pizza?”

  “When I was in Haiti, we had to make every single meal. No Domino’s there.” She grins cheekily.

  Sitting up on my elbow, I eye her. “I still can’t believe you went there. Or that you built a house. Although, now that I’m imagining you with a tool belt and hard hat, sweaty in the sun …”

  Blair shakes her head. “You wouldn’t last one day there.”

  “Yes, I would!”

  “Okay, fine, you definitely would. But I’d school you so hard. We should try it one day, we’ll go volunteer at a Habitat for Humanity build around here. I can show you everything I learned. And next time I go to Haiti, you can come.”

  “That would be great, actually.” And I mean it genuinely.

  It’s a beat before I speak again, because I’m busy studying the lines of her profile. She’s always been beautiful, but there is something about her that’s changed. Not just her outside appearance, but a confidence that wasn’t there before.

  “You’re just so different,” I tell her, because it’s true.

  “I’m the same old Blair.” She chuckles, chewing on the end of her pen.

  “Well, yes, you still have gross habits like that,” I point out, and she gives me a stern eyebrow.

  “Says the guy who used to pull his pants down and pee in full public view at daycare,” she quips.

  “I was seven, okay? It was the cool thing to do back then. Lest you forget, I’ve seen you freak out whenever someone suggests watching a scary movie.”

  “Putting on The Exorcist when we were ten was definitely a horrible idea. Laura knew it too, we had nightmares for months.”

  “I thought Glav was going to pee himself when we watched it.” I crack up, and Blair joins in.

  We laugh until it peters off, and then we’re just staring at each other.

  My fingers smooth a lock of mocha hair back behind her ear. “In a way, it kind of fits that we only just got our act together recently. Maybe we had to go through all the bullshit to be this good.”

  “We’ve certainly both grown. I’m not sure we would have made it if we had shifted our friendship back then,” she agrees.

  “That’s why this is so weird. It’s like, I know your past so well, but then we were apart. I’m just getting to know this new Blair, and it’s familiar yet exciting all at the same time.”

  I reach up to cup her face as she speaks. “I’m glad we had time apart. It made me, shaped me. In some ways, I’m harder than I was. But mostly, I know how to stand on my own two feet now.”

  “What are we going to do about college?” It’s the thought that’s been playing in my head since we became exclusive.

  “I don’t know.” Blair’s voice is quiet.

  “We could have applied to the same colleges, if we’d been together back then. I guess it also sucks that we didn’t start dating until now.” The thought burns in my chest.

  I only just got her, and in a few months, I’ll have to let her go.

  “Where did you apply? What’s your top choice?” I ask, knowing that neither of us will ever convince the other to switch our plans.

  “Guess.” Her grin is all sass.

  “How could I know that? You don’t know mine.” My tone teases.

  “Of course I know your top choice.” Her know-it-all attitude is cute rather than annoying.

  “Oh? And why do you think you know that?” I challenge her.

  She strokes my forehead with her nails, and it feels so good that I get goose bumps. “You want to go to Brockden. Because of their five-year architecture program, duh. It’s one of the best in the country.”

  I should have known she had me all figured out. “Do you always have to be right?”

  “Someone has to do it.” Her nails continue to tickle lightly against my scalp.

  And I’m not sure why, but that motion is giving me a boner. Hell, anything concerning Blair gives me a boner.

  “I’m hard.” I wiggle my eyebrows up at her and then grab her around the waist.

  She might be feisty, but I’m stronger, and I pull her half underneath me while she swats at my biceps.

  “You’re insatiable. I have to study!” Blair
scolds me, trying to wriggle out from under me.

  “But studying me is so much better than that lame old textbook.” I pepper her neck with kisses.

  Her legs wrap around my waist, and my cock lines up with her pelvis. I grind into her, eliciting moans from both of us. If dry-humping were a sport, we could have won an Olympic medal throughout the last couple of weeks.

  Blair’s hands massage my scalp as I latch onto her earlobe, biting on the spot I’ve figured out makes her cry out. She does just that, and her hands fall to my waist where they begin pulling at the hem of my shirt.

  “What is your top choice?” I whisper, needing to know before my brain gets too hazy in the thick of her.

  “Brockden.” She sighs as my hand meets her bare stomach under her sweater.

  “What?” That half-snaps my mind out of the lust it’s falling into.

  Long black lashes blink up at me. “They have a great political science program.”

  My heart thumps against my rib cage, seemingly trying to break out and reunite with hers. There is a chance this doesn’t have to end when the summer does. There is a chance we won’t be separated again. There is a chance I can have everything I want.

  Blair’s textbook clatters to the floor loudly as I fully rise up over her, those slim, soft fingers pulling my shirt over my head. And when my mouth meets hers again, it’s with the passion of every wish I hope comes true.

  30

  Blair

  “Gnarly powder, my dudes.”

  Glavin launches his body belly first onto the tube and whizzes down the massive hill, and I’m convinced he might sustain more brain damage than he already has.

  “He’s so annoying.” I chuckle with Nate, who is too busy mooning at his Ridgeport crush, Jacob, who tagged along on our tubing adventure today.

  “Share a double with me?” Jacob asks Nate in his husky accent.

  The guy attends high school the town over but spends summers in Mexico with his mom’s family, hence the gorgeous lilt in his voice. If he wasn’t gay and totally into Nate, I might go for him. Oh, and there is the whole Sawyer thing, too.

  “Of course.” Nate practically jumps with glee, and they head off.

  “Hm, a double sounds like a good idea.” Sawyer walks up, snow flecks on his eyelashes.

  We’re standing on top of Alpac Mountain, the local hot spot for tubing. When a blizzard showed up yesterday, we got a snow day off of school. Which we have today, and the first thing my friends wanted to do was dress like abominable snow monsters and launch ourselves down frigid hills. So here we are.

  “But if you tip it and we go flying, there will be hell to pay,” I singsong, walking my fingers up his chest.

  “Mm, I kind of like the idea of getting in trouble with you.” He sidles up to me, pulling my puffy snow pants and coat covered body into him.

  Sawyer is busy trying to get his lips underneath my scarf and onto my neck when Laura and Matt join us at the top of the hill.

  “Didn’t you two already cause enough trouble, which is how you ended up as enemies?” Laura points out.

  “That was the bad kind of trouble. This is the good kind of trouble.” Sawyer doesn’t take his attention off trying to undress me on the side of the mountain.

  I swat him away. “Sometimes, like right now, I’m reminded why I thought you were a cocky asshole.”

  “But you love it. And me.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

  Matt is holding onto a snowboard, grinning like a fool as Sawyer goes to grab a doubles tube for the two of us to ride down on.

  “What?” My voice is exasperated after having Sawyer’s best friend smirk at me for so long.

  He shrugs. “I always suspected that he was crazy about you, but I really knew it when he punched me in the face after I said I wanted to fuck you. I don’t, by the way. I mean, you’re hot and if lover boy here wasn’t in the picture, I can’t say I wouldn’t go for it, but—”

  Laura smacks him with her tube. “Hey!”

  Matt winks at her. “Just playing, babe. But anyways, it’s really nice to finally see him man up and own his feelings. And it means Glav and I can stop treating you like shit. I’m really sorry about all that, by the way. Truly, we were complete assholes. I’ll give you one free nut shot, if you want.”

  I can’t help the snicker that lets loose. “I’m good, thanks. I don’t need to punch you in the balls. But that means a lot. I will, however, cut your entire sack off if you hurt my best friend.”

  My chin tilts in Laura’s direction; she rolls her eyes, and Matt covers his family jewels with his free hand. “Understood.”

  I’m not sure what those two are playing at, and I think the whole thing is going to end in a spectacularly bad fashion, but I’m not meddling in anyone else’s love life. Mine is far too complicated as it is. Or it was.

  “You ready?” Sawyer asks, lacing his gloved hand, not holding the massive snow tube in my gloved hand.

  “Race you to the bottom!” I shout at Matt and Laura, as Sawyer and I hastily climb in.

  I’m up front, with Sawyer behind me holding my waist. With him in back, we’ll be shooting down the mountain at light speed, but I kind of welcome the rush.

  “You’re my wild thing.” He presses his mouth to my ear as the wind invades every nook and cranny of my bones.

  I’ve never been called wild or had it said in such a territorial way. But it heats my cells, muscles, and pores against the freezing temperatures, and sends a thrill through my gut. Once upon a time, Sawyer and I went on every adventure together. Hand in hand, we climbed obstacles, slayed imaginary dragons, snuck through graveyards, and pushed each other’s comfort zones.

  When we fell apart, I lost a piece of myself. I gained independence, yes, but without my partner in crime, stuff like this just wasn’t as fun. As we whiz across the slick snow, I grab his hands that are solid around my middle.

  My heart beats for him, for this. We might fall, go flying, hurt ourselves. But I know that when we do, he’ll be there picking me back up.

  31

  Blair

  There is a ping at my window, and I sit straight up in bed.

  I usually don’t buy into ghost stories, and aside from The Exorcist when I was ten, scary movies don’t affect me all that much. But when a second ping sounds in my dark room, goose bumps pop out along my flesh.

  If there is one thing I don’t love, it’s the dark and strange noises.

  Ping. Ping.

  It comes again and again, right from the window, and I look over. The next time it happens, I see a little flash, and I carefully toe my feet out from under the covers and set them on the floor. Creeping to the window, my hands shake and a nervous shiver runs down my spine. The ping comes again and I nearly jump, though it spurs me on to really investigate.

  My nose is nearly at the pane of glass, dread filling a pit in my stomach, when I see what is making the noise.

  Looking out, I see the boy I’ve been in love with nearly my whole life standing on the ground below. The breath I’ve been holding for what seems like an hour exhales like I’m rapidly letting it out of a balloon, and I roll my eyes.

  Wrenching open the window, I’m prepared to rip into Sawyer.

  “What the hell are you doing?” My voice is almost silent, hoping my father can’t hear any of this.

  He’s standing in the moonlight, dark hair tousled from the wind and hands stuffed into the pockets of his letterman jacket. He’s the picture of a prom king, and that familiar ache between my legs feels heavy. How the heck can he do this to my body with just one look?

  “I didn’t want tonight to end.” He shrugs from the ground.

  My heart melts. Earlier tonight, Sawyer took me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day, our first one as boyfriend and girlfriend. We ate at Marianna’s, our favorite Italian joint, and he brought me a bouquet of roses when he picked me up. Sawyer opened my car door, asked me if he could order my dinner for me, and took extra long on the drive home so we could
stop and make out.

  “Me either.” I sigh, feeling like Juliet up on her balcony. “But you could have sent a text message. We don’t live in the Stone Age, literally.”

  “I thought this would be more romantic. Come on, get dressed.” Sawyer’s face is lit by the moon.

  “Where are we going?” I ask, but I’m already one foot out the window.

  “For a drive.” That devilish smirk makes his dimple pop out.

  Five minutes later, I have jeans and a sherpa on, with my hair pulled back in a ponytail. My sneaker-clad feet are inching out my window and onto the roof, but fear is seizing me by the throat.

  “I don’t actually think I can do this.” The only other time I tried was when we were twelve and I nearly broke my arm.

  “Trust me,” he says, holding out his arms.

  The ground seems impossibly far in the dark, and if I’m not careful, I’ll break both my legs or something. Or, worse, wake up my dad.

  “You can’t catch me!” I whisper-hiss, because that’s some unbelievable thing you see in a movie.

  “B, you weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. I think I’ve got this.” Sawyer’s voice drips with sarcasm.

  My stomach takes a nose dive, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m dangling from the trellis outside my bedroom window. He just used his nickname for me, and every time he does that now, I’m reminded how long I went without hearing it. But I can’t let go.

  “You don’t trust me.” It’s a statement from down below, not a question.

  I chew on my tongue, trying to come up with a response that won’t offend him. “It’s not that at all, I just … I don’t want to die.”

  “Blair, I’m not going to let you fall. I wouldn’t be standing here, in the middle of the night, outside your window, if I wasn’t serious about being in love with you. I’m not going to let you fall. Trust me.”

  My eyes flutter closed and I teeter on the edge, the night wind licking at my ears and neck. With a whispered prayer, I jump, hoping to God I don’t injure myself or him.