Foes & Cons

by Carrie Aarons

  The ground rushes up at me, and I watch Sawyer brace himself. Strong arms catch me around the waist, but my momentum is too strong. Sawyer staggers backward, and I’m trying to swallow my scream as he falls and I go with him. His body makes contact with the earth, and I tumble on top of him, my legs straddling his waist.

  “It wasn’t the most graceful dismount, but damn do I like the landing.” Sawyer grins, then cups the back of my neck to pull me down for a kiss.

  We’re making out on my front lawn, in the middle of the night, and it feels like the perfect amount of recklessness a high school senior should be getting up to.

  “While I’d like to do this all night, it’s freezing and if your dad catches me, I’ll never live down the disappointment. Come on.”

  He helps me up and we speed walk to his car, which I discover he’s parked around the block.

  “My dad is over the moon that we’re dating. I don’t think you could do anything that he’d disapprove of.” I buckle my seat belt.

  “Believe me, if he walked in on me going down on you, he’d be livid.” Sawyer snorts.

  My cheeks, and my core, heat. “Okay, maybe not that. But, our parents are so happy. Your mom texts me almost every day to tell me that.”

  As he starts the engine he says, “Well, you’ve always basically been a daughter to her. She’s happy it’s finally official.”

  The thought of me being Mallory’s official daughter makes me think way into the future, our future. I always imagined it, even when I hated him, but thinking about Sawyer as possibly my husband? It sends butterflies soaring through my stomach.

  We drive through our hometown, just holding hands in the silence of the night. It’s a comfortable quiet, and one we don’t need to fill with words.

  When Sawyer turns his car onto a shaded lane and then winds us up and up, it dawns on me where we’re going.

  “You’re really taking me parking?” I gasp.

  “Figured we both have never done it, and I want to do everything with you.” He looks so in-command with one arm straight on the steering wheel.

  “You’ve never been up here with anyone else?” Surprise tinges my expression.

  Sawyer shakes his head. “Never. Deep down, I always knew it would be you and me up here.”

  The Point is a Chester legend, though nowadays it’s probably less used than a friend’s basement or a party in the woods. It’s basically a dirt paved road up the side of a mountain that opens to a dirt paved parking lot with hiking trails shooting off of it. But from what I’ve heard, from Laura since I’ve never been up here myself, the view of our little town down below is spectacular.

  Our headlights cut through the dark until we come upon a clearing, to find ourselves alone. Laura wasn’t lying, the view below as Sawyer parks the car is pretty beautiful.

  “Wow.” I breathe.

  “Yeah. I always heard it was great.” Sawyer unbuckles and climbs over the gear shift, his big body plunking down in the back. “You gonna join me?”

  I look out over the point through the windshield, the sparse lights of our little town twinkling down below. Then I turn my back to them and join him in the back seat.

  “This is so nineteen fifties.” I chuckle.

  “I’ll admit, it seems super retro. But also romantic.” Sawyer wraps an arm around my shoulder and hooks me in, pulling me close.

  “I’m surprised we’re the only ones up here,” I muse.

  He nuzzles the side of my face. “Why? Everyone else is probably drunk hooking up in each other’s basements. I’m glad we have the place to ourselves.”

  “Me too. The perfect end to our first Valentine’s Day.” My sigh is into his shoulder as I inhale his manly scent.

  “Sometimes, I thought it would never happen.” Sawyer’s eyes are serious when he pulls back.

  “Me too. There were times I felt so low, having done what I did. And then whenever we’d get into it, or our friends would …” Emotion clogs my throat as I trail off.

  I didn’t mean for the conversation to go this way, or to dampen the mood.

  “I hate myself for making you feel that way.” Apology mars his face.

  “But we had our first Valentine’s Day. And you caught me as I jumped off my roof. I think we’re past it.” I try to change the subject.

  “You were really afraid of that fall? I’ve seen you attempt riskier.” He squeezes the fingers laced through mine.

  I shrug. “Maybe as we get older, things just seem scarier. When we were kids, nothing really scared me. While we grow up and get smarter, maybe that also sharpens our fear.”

  “Hm, never thought about it that way. But I guess you’re right.”

  “What is your biggest fear?” The question is random, but I realize I want to know.

  Sawyer is quiet for a moment, and I study his profile as he thinks.

  “That I’ll never measure up.” He gives a firm nod.

  “What do you mean?” This conversation has gotten so much deeper than one ever should at The Point, but I don’t just want Sawyer for his looks or his body.

  And it’s been a while since we dove deep this way. Yes, I know most everything about him, but he’s eighteen now. Technically, a man. And me, I’m a young woman. We have bigger problems now than we did on the playground.

  “I know I chose my path, that I want to be an architect and work for our fathers. But sometimes it feels like I’m destined to fail. Even with all that might be guaranteed or waiting for me, I put so much pressure on myself to measure up to how great of a man and a professional my dad is.”

  “You’re going to be amazing,” I whisper, because it’s true. “You’re so talented when it comes to sketching, to thinking out designs. I’ve seen it.”

  His smile is wary. “It doesn’t make me any less stressed. It’s going to be a long journey to get there. I never … I don’t want to start on with the family firm and have either of them think that my work is just subpar. I want them to be proud of me.”

  My hands cup his cheeks. “Sawyer, you’re already making them proud. Do you know how happy both mine and your father are that you want to join the family business? They are over the moon. I know it’s going to be years of work, but you’re going to shine, to excel. A little bit of pressure is good, it will push you. But make no mistake, you’re not going to fail.”

  He blinks, then kisses me softly. “What is your biggest fear?”

  “Being hard to love.” It comes out instantly, and I want to reel it back in, but it’s the truth.

  “What do you mean? I love you so much, it scares me.” His face is earnest emotion.

  Giving him a wry smile, I try to explain. “I grew up with a mother who never seemed able to love me. That stays with you. With every one of her rejections, each time she didn’t show up for me or whatever it was, it took a piece of me. Whenever I think about her, about how she couldn’t love me, I doubt that anyone will ever be able to. No matter how many times I hear it from my dad, or you, or my friends, there is still this small part of me that won’t believe it. She programmed me that way. To believe that I’m unworthy of her love. Hell, she hasn’t even called me in over a month.”

  “Fucking bitch.” The curse falls easily out of his mouth, and he glances down.

  I can tell Sawyer is trying to contain his anger, but his eyes are fierce when those green orbs meet mine again.

  “I’ve loved you for a very long time. Probably as long as I can remember. Make no mistake, you are not hard to love, at all. Every part of you is incredible, special, and unique. It’s an honor to be as in love with you as I am. She’s the crazy one, the screwed up moron who is missing out on the best person I’ve ever known. I. Love. You. You got that? And it’s not hard, either. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

  Tears threaten, and I have to nod through them.

  We don’t even really get around to what parking is supposed to be for this night. Instead, the two of us sit wrapped up in each other’s arms,
smoothing away all of the fears and doubts with the immense love we share.

  32

  Sawyer

  “B, do you want Hershey kisses in the popcorn?”

  I call out to Blair from the kitchen where I’m pulling the steaming hot bag from the microwave with one hand. No matter how old I am, I seem to always burn myself on the freaking steam when separating the tabs.

  “No thanks.” Her voice comes from the living room where we’ve set up camp.

  “Refusing your favorite combo? Are you sick?” I joke, carrying the bowl to the couch.

  My parents are gone for the weekend on their anniversary trip, and it’s a no brainer that I’ll spend the entirety of it with Blair. Matt and Glavin are pissed I didn’t throw a rager, but forty-eight uninterrupted hours, alone, with my girlfriend? Yeah, no, I wasn’t passing that up for people puking on my parent’s couches.

  Plus, it’s the first time Blair and I will be able to sleep in the same bed together. Well, that’s not true. We used to have sleepovers when we were like, seven, but tonight will obviously be very different. I’m not going to assume anything, but I have condoms in my bedside drawer upstairs.

  We settle into the couch with Blair lying back into me, my arms coming around her to hold the popcorn on her stomach where we can both grab some. I grab the remote and flick to the trailer page for Interstellar.

  “I can’t believe you’ve never seen this one. It’s trippy, but great,” I tell her, shoving a handful of popcorn in my mouth.

  Her body feels amazing snuggled against mine, and I’m pretty much sporting a midi, but I refuse to rush this. We spent the day together here, just goofing off and talking about anything and nothing.

  “I thought … maybe we shouldn’t watch the movie.”

  I press a kiss into her temple. “What then? You’ll veto if I suggest Game of Thrones. Although I don’t know why, you’d love it, it’s totally nerdy.”

  Blair keeps her head straight, not turning back to look at me, when she says, “I think we should have sex.”

  The popcorn bowl almost falls out of my hands. “Wh-What?”

  Thick eyelashes sweep up and I can just make out her milk chocolate irises glancing up shyly at me. “I want to. I’m ready.”

  Instantly, I thicken, my balls tightening with just those words from her. “B, we can wait.” My fingers stroke down the soft skin of her arm. “I’m fine taking things at the exact pace we’re taking them.”

  Blair shifts up and over me, so that our lips align and our pelvises connect. There is no doubt she can feel how hard I am, how she did that in just five seconds flat.

  “Sawyer, I want to. I want you.” The kiss she lays on my mouth is searching and gentle.

  The couch groans as I shift to improve the angle of our bodies as my hands dive into her silky locks. Our kisses become more frantic, the energy shifting in the room. She’s hot to the touch, and my clothes seem to be burning me.

  “I’ve thought about this so many times,” I tell her between our tongues dancing together.

  “So many dreams of this.” She moans as my fingers push past her shirt and up her back.

  My cock strains against my sweatpants, but I can’t get enough room between us to take Blair’s shirt off. Slowing our kisses, I maneuver us up and take her hand in mine.

  “Let’s go to my room.” My tone is serious.

  I want to make this special, and alone in my house, in my room, is where it should happen. Laid out on the bed, with nothing between us and only darkness around us, that’s how I want to be with Blair this first time.

  As we walk up the stairs hand in hand, my heart pounds inside my chest. My fingers skim the beat of her pulse at her wrist, and it seems hers is doing the same thing. We don’t talk, but our nerves are palpable. This is a moment I’ve been thinking about for years, and it’s finally happening. I just want her to love it. I want to show her how much I love her.

  My bedroom door creaks as I push it open slowly, and then we’re both inside, standing at the foot of my queen bed.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been with anyone.” She won’t look at me.

  I put two fingers under her chin and make her look at me. “Stop it. I’m honored you trust me with this. Hell, I’d be raging with jealousy if any guy had gotten to do this with you first. And for me? That was just sex. This is making love.”

  It may sound corny, but that’s what we’re about to do together. Sex for a teenage boy is obviously at the top of the pyramid of things we want to do, but the emotions and feelings involved when it comes to Blair … it magnifies this tenfold.

  “Sawyer.” She breathes my name, and it’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.

  The two of us come together, shedding clothing and laying lips on skin. I’m down to my boxers in what feels like seconds, and then Blair is naked beneath me. I have to concentrate so hard on anything other than the throbbing erection between my legs. Every time I look at her, at the curve of her breasts or the smooth skin and glistening lips between her legs, I nearly come.

  I begin to touch her, worship her. My fingers over her skin, my lips down her shoulder and onto her nipples, my teeth gently plucking at them. My hands mold over her hips, smooth up her thighs, and one finger dips inside her. She moans, writhing on the bed as I travel down her. My tongue meets her core, the taste of her giving me a head rush. I’m dizzy as I feast on her, as those small fingers wind around the strands of my hair and unashamedly pull me closer as I lap at her.

  “Please …” Blair barely knows what she’s asking for, but I want her to come before I’m inside her.

  I’ve been a virgin, one who has taken someone else’s virginity. It’s not going to be pleasant for her, it may hurt the entire time. I want her to feel incredible for a few moments before the pain replaces it. The pace of my tongue grows faster, and when I push two fingers inside her at the same time, I hear her guttural cry from above.

  Her thighs vibrate, pushing the orgasm through her as her back arches with the pleasure. The noises Blair is making, the way her hands fist in the sheets, I swear to God I’m leaking precum wildly just watching her.

  Big brown eyes hold me, silently giving me the go-ahead. Moving up and over her, I reach for my nightstand to grab a condom. As I push up to my knees and discard my boxers, I feel her hot gaze stroking over my entire body. Taking my cock in my fist, I pull once, all the way from root to tip. Blair’s nostrils flare, and the temperature in the room seems to go from warm to blistering. It’s agony rolling the condom on, just that slight pressure makes me have to squeeze my ass cheeks together to keep from exploding.

  “You’re sure you want to do this?” I hover over her, touching her temples, her cheeks, smoothing her hair back.

  She nods, blinking those long lashes. “I love you.”

  That’s all the confirmation I need. Slowly, so slow that it feels like my cock might just kill me with how patient it’s being, I move my hips forward. My head meets her entrance, the intense warmth of her wetness seeping right through the condom.

  “Christ,” I choke out, dropping my forehead to hers.

  I watch Blair the entire time I push into her, hoping to God I’m not hurting her too much.

  “Ahh …” The sound teeters on pain.

  “Do you want me to stop? What can I do?” My head is a dizzying mixture of blind lust and anxious concern.

  “Keep going.” She gulps.

  My dick slides in farther, the grip of her pussy taking the air out of my lungs. Even though Blair seems to be tensing up, I don’t stop. She would tell me if it was too much, and I want to fast forward to the part where this feels amazing for both of us.

  I’m all but fully seated when she yelps, her nails digging into my shoulders.

  “Are you okay?” My eyes race over her face, trying to detect any trace of harm.

  Her eyes are scrunched shut, and she seems to be taking measured breaths. After a few seconds, they flutter open, and I feel Blair shift her hips.r />
  “I think so.” The words are uncertain, but come easy. “Can you … can you make love to me?”

  Emotion strikes like an arrow through my heart. I’ve never felt this, lust and love all rolled into one combo. I get it now, why sex matters so much more with your person.

  Gently, I start to pump in and out. I watch Blair’s every facial expression as it transforms from discomfort to questioning to, finally, hunger. The moment her pupils dilate, I see it. Her legs wrap around my waist tighter, she begins to meet my thrusts from below. Her hands pull at my hips, and I move faster.

  As soon as I can tell I’m no longer hurting her but that her desire is as great as mine, I let up on the leash of control I’ve been strangling myself with. I drive into Blair, fusing my lips to hers as my cock grows to the point where it feels like electric charges are shooting down my spine.

  She’s mewling into my mouth, and I want her to come again, but I’m not sure how long I can hang on.

  “Let go.” One smooth hand strokes down my spine, and I’m nearly a goner.

  “I love you.”

  The words are whispered as I explode, my vision going white. I bury my face into her neck, inhaling nothing but Blair.

  I’m pretty sure I’m still chanting her name as I detox off my climax.

  And I know now that I’ll never be the same, not after this. She’s branded me, heart and soul.

  33

  Blair

  I’ve never felt so calm and so flustered all in the same moment.

  Sawyer’s arms anchor me, wrapping around my naked torso as I press my cheek and ear into his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat matches my own as we both try to catch our breath.

  “Never before …” He sighs, his fingers playing a melody up and down my spine.

  Sawyer doesn’t complete the thought, but he doesn’t have to. I know what he means.

  The only way I can describe sex is as the ultimate physical show of love. While he was inside me, with our eyes never leaving each other, I felt like my heart might combust. The organ in my chest just about exploded, with every emotion across the board passing through our connected gazes. Not only has my body never felt the things Sawyer did to it, but I feel so very cherished at this moment. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to make love to me. With me.