Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  I waited patiently for a response as I skimmed the first few pages, but received nothing. I looked up and gasped when I saw how angry he appeared. His eyes encompassed a red ring around the bright green that I loved and a fierce piercing intent to kill dined within them; his lips were pulled over his teeth a bit and in that moment I heard a low growl escape.

  “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know this stuff was off limits. I was just curious,” I explained anxiously trying to defuse the situation; though I was confused as to what I’d done that warranted this reaction. The last week Kellan had been almost eager in sharing as much as possible with me. I didn’t see how me asking a simple question could enrage him to this degree.

  He continued to glare and grumble. It took me a moment of intense focus on his eyes to realize he wasn’t fixed on me. I slowly turned around unsure of what to expect. Standing no more than twelve feet away was a female with long thin black hair hitting her mid back. She had thin lips, narrow black eyes that glared the same; just as his were focused on her, her eyes were locked on him and her body was slightly crouched prepared to spring at any moment.

  It didn’t take a genius to realize I was in danger. I slowly started inching my way behind Kellan. And though I didn’t want to, I caught myself glimpsing at the vampire hedging so close to me. She stood about 5’5” and though she’s not drop dead gorgeous like I suspected them all to be, she was still somewhat pretty. She seemed an exotic blend of an oriental descent. She was very thin, my guess is a size 00, but I still comprehended the danger she could present to me.

  Once I’d secured a solid two feet behind Kellan, I heard someone coming. Peering towards the aisle I saw a man walking with an employee towards our section. I froze with panic. No longer than two seconds after this registered mentally, I was whisked into arms and flying at the speed of light it felt. A wind tunnel had nothing on this swiftness. The moment I inhaled, I was relieved to smell Kellan’s cologne. At least it confirmed I wasn’t in the wrong arms about to be killed.

  Less than ten seconds and only one breath after being pulled into his arms I was inside his car in the center of the plaza, a good one-sixth of a mile from Barnes & Noble. Kellan was driving before I could even grasp that we were in his car.

  “Buckle up!” he commanded.

  The traffic on Rivers Avenue was horrible any time of day, but somehow we were on the interstate in less than two minutes.

  “Who… Who was that?” I asked unable to gage whether this was the right time to press for answers. His demeanor was protective though his voice revealed unwavering rage.

  “Keira,” he stated.

  “You know her?” I was confused.

  “No,” he quickly denied.

  “Then how do you know her name?” I felt uneasy.

  “She told me. She spoke soft and swift. Human ears would never hear her,” he explained in a hurry, a notion I knew was to shut me up.

  Kellan retrieved his phone and attached it to an advanced speaker system on his dashboard. No sooner had he connected it that it was ringing.

  “Kellan,” the husky voice pushed in a question-statement form, silent unease cracking midway.

  “Gear up Dad. She’s located us. I’ll be there in two minutes.”

  Kellan repeated the same call to a voice I knew all too well – my mother. Though she held tight to sensibility, I felt the fear she was fighting.

  “That’s my attacker, isn’t it?” I whispered knowing Kellan could hear me still. I couldn’t look at him, my gut already knew the answer, and I was just waiting for confirmation. I felt his gaze locked on me from the side; he was probably battling with telling me or not.

  He quietly sighed, “Yes.”

  I lifted my head, fidgeting with my hands in my lap, to notice that we were in a driveway. One second later Al was in the backseat instructing Kellan to go.

  I looked between both men baffled. “I… I thought you avoided the sun?” I stumbled.

  “We common the day, it just weakens us a bit. The sun absorbs your energy like a sponge. Think about a day at the beach. Are you not exhausted by days end when you’ve merely lied around most of the day?” Al clarified calmly.

  “Oh.” So my attacker was weakened during the day. At least I theoretically should be protected until sundown. I was still alarmed; it was all so sudden. The last thing I wanted was a meet and greet before I went to sleep. I couldn’t even think straight to comprehend the drama.

  We rounded the corner to find my parents waiting in the garage with the door open. Kellan flew in just as the door started to close. My door swung open prompting me to almost fall out, but my mother had me in her death squeeze before I could inhale once.

  “Everything is going to be fine Lexi,” she stated though it felt like she required more convincing than me.

  “Let’s get her inside,” Al prompted.

  My mother whipped me into her arms and on the couch in a matter of seconds. I didn’t think I would ever get used to the sporadic speed races. I was surprised I didn’t have whiplash at this point. Once there, my dad sat on one side of me caressing my arm and patting my hair in a reassuring manner. My mother settled on the other side with my right hand in hers as she carried on with her babble of conviction over my safety.

  After five minutes of straight blubber from my mom and non-stop physical contact on every side of me, I began to feel claustrophobic. “Mom! Dad! Just stop!” I exploded pushing them away. “I know you’re just trying to help, but you’re only making it worse. Please.”

  “I’m sorry sweetie,” they stumbled in unison.

  I sighed taking in their reaction. Guilt panged me internally; I knew they meant well. “Listen, I’m trying to cope but seeing you so distraught is making it impossible. I’ll be in my room. I think we all need a breather,” I said hoping to bring rational to the situation.

  My dad looked at my mother with obvious edge. I could only imagine how helpless he must have felt; torn between comforting his wife and daughter but mortal and unable to defend either. He didn’t say a word to me when I stood up and moved towards the stairs.

  I heard Al move in to level off the emotional stress my parents exuded. He spoke calmly in a rather soothing voice as I retreated to my room.

  I felt his presence half-way up the stairs and knew without turning that Kellan was behind me. I entered my room, didn’t bother to close the door in his face and plopped face-down on my bed.

  Though he didn’t rustle the bed, I felt a slight tug of the sheets beneath me when Kellan nestled beside me awkwardly. I refused to acknowledge his presence and turned my face up on the opposite side.

  “Lexi,” he called me in a soft voice. Anger rushed through me; rage, disbelief. I felt like the child that got picked on constantly. I was offered no break, no intermission before another issue pushed in. And Kellan, granted he protected me a bit ago, confused me.

  “Kellan, what do you want?” And without warning, I exploded on him. “One minute you’re telling me your secrets and my own, schmoozing me, the next you’re cocky and throwing my attraction for you in my face. You claim my friendship but then play games. Make up your mind. Either you’re going to be my friend or you’re going to be a permanent jerk like the other night!”

  “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m honestly not too good with the whole friend thing though, at least not with you,” he replied, putting one hand on my back but removing it quickly.

  I flipped sides to look at him. “Explain,” I ordered. He seemed genuine and I knew my verbal vomit was partially stress-induced by outside concerns piled on top of his, but he was the brunt for now nonetheless.

  “I connected with you immediately. I assumed that was because of our common bond and placed you in the friend zone. When I started talking to you more, I realized we have more in common. I’m not trying to play games with you Lexi; the back and forth is my own mental battle over where I stand with you.”

  “Get to the point, please,” I sighed.

&nbs
p; “I feel the same,” he blurted.

  I continued to assess him. Emotions swarmed me from all areas of the spectrum. I was happy to hear what I wanted to from him, but angry and – I was just a bad potion of all the wrong feelings and the right battling each other.

  “I think the adrenaline is catching up with you,” I settled on. I wouldn’t be made a fool of anymore.

  “Lexi, I know without you saying it that you feel the same. Now why are you rejecting what you’ve wanted all along?” he demanded searching my eyes in frustration.

  “I’m still with Mike,” I replied softly swallowing hard with regret.

  Now I was super confused. Kellan was the untouchable perfection that would never be attainable for me; Mike was the touchable human love that had extended himself to me without hesitation. Kellan had remained distant, cold on some levels despite my odd connection with him that I still couldn’t explain; Mike hadn’t played any games with me nor kept me at arm’s length as Kellan had. This unexplainable desire deep within me longed to connect on a new level with Kellan though, not Mike. I guess the saying is true. You really can’t choose the ones you love.

  My mind tried to wrap itself around the possibility of me and Kellan, but I still had a hard time believing him… “Kiss me,” I abruptly ordered.

  “What?” he looked at me in shock.

  “See. If you felt the same as me, you wouldn’t hesitate.” At least, that is what I was trying to convince myself of.

  “Hesitation doesn’t constitute a lack of certainty; it means I have a conscience. You just said you’re with Mike,” he defended inserting his ego between lines.

  “Whatever Kellan,” I scoffed in frustration. Thank God my logic still operated around him. I knew he could never feel equally as strong about me as I did him.

  “Screw it!”

  “Wha-?” But I couldn’t finish the word. He ambushed me, unleashing whatever was pent up. This kiss, the touch of his lips to mine, shot fireworks overhead. It felt like I was kissing my long lost lover who’d been away at sea for years. It’s like the magician connected the rings that were separate just moments ago, but belonged together.

  The cooler temperature of his skin as he caressed my face with his hands, pulling me in closer, only further ignited the flame. I was getting hotter, not colder. How could this feel so right?

  Kellan was an amazing kisser. His lips matched mine perfectly; his hands encompassed my face as if each groove was a flawless fit. Suddenly, amidst Kellan’s intensity increase, the pieces slid together for me; I recognized a distinct difference.

  With Mike, I was ready to move to the next base when the sparks flew on our lips, to be further involved with him physically alone. With Kellan, the craving surged internally. The feistier the pressing of our mouths, the harder I was searching to feel his soul. The way he searched for mine in his gaze was identical to how hard I was trying to touch the surface of his with this embrace.

  Kellan began to pull away and I gave up on discovering all of him. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I was trying to feel him. If we were soul mates, shouldn’t I have found the edge of his soul with our embrace? Felt a surge of overwhelming confirmation? Alas, I didn’t.

  He carefully lifted off of me, looked directly into my eyes and bluntly declared, “I don’t lie.” A second later my door closed softly and he was gone.

  I sat up in my bed and stared around my room. I never assumed this could be so complex. I believe that sparks truly do fly when you kiss your soul mate; you become as one spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally, sharing mirror image connections so intense you couldn’t deny it in any way. And once you’d felt this rush as one intimately, the bond is unable to be severed despite distance, evil setbacks or generations of time.

  Maybe I was wrong. Had I been searching for a lie? Was I looking for the Fountain of Youth – a figment of my imagination that just didn’t exist? I’d never questioned my conviction on this subject until now. Of course, a month ago I’d never kissed a boy and a week ago I’d never known a vampire or been forced to question my theories.

  This was overwhelming… all of it. I looked at my bedside clock. 12:34pm - less than twelve hours to go.

  How does one prepare to become a vampeen? Duh Lexi! Watch the movies. Hollywood has a lot of myths wrong, but some are dead on. Like controlling the mind of a human; they can’t actually tap into our minds, but they can hypnotize us in a way. And though not all vampires are drop dead gorgeous, as I’d learned with Keira today, they do hold some type of physical allure.

  Hmm… Which to begin with? My stomach growled a low rumble as I slid off my bed. I did eat this morning. Thinking back though, I threw out half my breakfast and only took a few sips of my drink abandoning the majority of it on the shelf when Kellan raced me to safety.

  I browsed the DVDs preprogrammed into the fancy system my dad installed and connected to my TV. I threw the remote back on my bed when I found Twilight.

  I walked into my closet to pull out a lighter fitted tee to wear in place of the baggy white t-shirt I’d worn since last night. I was about to pull the new tee over my head when there was a tap at my door. Assuming it was my mom since Kellan left and neither Al nor my dad would come up, I instinctively called, “Come in.”

  I turned to the door, arms in the sleeves but tee still dangling in my arms held over my head. My bra was my only upper body cover in this moment and yet I froze when I saw Kellan. He closed the door and set a to-go box on my bed and cold coke on my nightstand.

  He nonchalantly walked directly up to me, pulled my shirt down over my head for me, and said, “Come eat.”

  I remained still, in shock, not over my flab being exposed, but because of his demeanor. He acted as if he saw nothing. Mike would have taken full advantage of the situation, yet Kellan just discarded it. The sad part – I didn’t know which I preferred.

  Oh my gosh. What was wrong with me? Did I want to be groped and treated like a piece of meat by a guy? Of course not… Kellan did the respectful thing. So why did that upset me?

  I reevaluated their different responses; Mike jumping me and uncovering more versus Kellan covering me up and walking away. Of course. It’s clear as day. Mike would acknowledge his attraction to me; pay me a compliment with his strategic moves. But Kellan simply covered me up, as if my body was something to hide, to be ashamed of. This had always been my hesitation with Kellan. I knew all too well that he was only interested in my after-transformation body. If I was completely honest with myself, this single entity was what built the wall of defense around the idea of Kellan liking me.

  “It’s not true,” Kellan stated factually.

  “What?” I asked snapping back to reality, unfreezing my position to sit next to him on my bed.

  “I can see it on your face. I am attracted to you now. You have a curvy womanly figure more men than you realize like. My dad being raised in a different time, he has instilled old fashion values and morals in me. I would never take advantage of you like that,” he explained as if he could read my mind.

  “Hey. You can’t… you know… read people’s minds can you?” I checked nervously.

  He laughed shaking his head. “No. I’m not an Edward.”

  “So you do know who he is,” I grinned slyly as if I’d caught a bandit red-handed.

  “I didn’t before. I grew curious and researched it Tuesday. It’s a good book. He’s quite a perfect vampire theoretically. No mortal or immortal compares,” he replied. “And now I get to see the movie. Glad I’ve done my homework,” he smiled with a dark, sarcastic gleam in his eyes.

  Breathtaking. That’s the only word I could use to describe Kellan in this moment. He’s unpredictable, mysterious in that sense. It’s part of his sinister charm. His dimple, glorious smile and beautiful green eyes swindled my logic with one showcase.

  “Eat Lexi,” he insisted. “I hear your stomach growling.”

  “Oops,” I smiled shyly somewhat embarrassed.

  I op
ened the box to find my favorite chicken enchiladas with a side of chips and queso blanco. I dipped and bit a chip simultaneous to him pressing play.

  The next six and a half hours I spent watching movies with Kellan in my bed. I felt completely safe with him. After this morning, I knew he would protect me at all costs. In that sense, I preferred Kellan over Mike. I knew Mike would die trying to protect me, but in essence, he would do just that – die. Kellan I knew would come back to me unscratched or with few injuries.

  We didn’t touch during those hours. He kept his distance in typical Kellan fashion. It was all very innocent, very gentlemanly of him.

  Chapter 15

  The credits began to roll when Kellan announced, “Time for dinner!”

  “Huh?” I questioned, surprised by his spontaneity.

  “It’s 7:15; time for dinner. Come on,” he repeated pulling me down off my bed and towards the stairs. As we reached the bottom I heard the coordinated crowd yell, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

  We rounded the corner to a dining room lit with soft white candles of varying heights, white flowers of multiple angiosperms on the table and matching petals strewn on the floor. It was elegantly decorated with white and silver balloon bouquets filling the corners. The table held fancy plates and silverware sets. A big bowl of fettuccini alfredo dressed with freshly chopped parsley and parmesan shavings sat on one side, several almost raw steaks covered in red blood on the other and a beautiful white and silver cake was the centerpiece. I felt like I was walking into a wedding hall, not my dining room.

  “What is all this?” I gasped taking it in.

  “Happy Birthday Lexi,” my Aunt Claire squealed excitedly.

  “This is your last human birthday. We have to celebrate it somehow,” my dad explained. He attempted to sound solemn in his words, but I sensed the underlying dread in his voice and tension in his smile.

  My mother had her arm around him in a gentle open hug and added, “Let’s eat, celebrate and enjoy your last hours as a happy family.”

  I smiled tenderly. “I wasn’t expecting this… And you!” I turned to Kellan. “You knew this whole time and didn’t say a word. You kept distracting me with movie after movie.”