Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  Whatever was said upset Kellan. A calm façade was replaced with controlled anger, but what could he have said that was so bad? I wanted to know. Regardless of the subject, I wanted to hear it.

  “I want to know; I have a right to know. I am standing here listening, ok so more like being rudely ignored, but you are talking about me are you not?” I huffed towards anyone and everyone.

  Kellan broke the silence, “He’s talking about us.”

  I was puzzled. The confusion clearly plastered on my face.

  “Forgive me. Please sit Alexa, allow me to detail your destiny,” he stated solemnly.

  “My destiny?” I wrinkled my forehead, but obliged his request. I was curious, dying to know what had my mother awestruck, Al dismissive, and Kellan angry. Such adverse reactions towards the same words meant the words carried a heavy weight.

  “Nearly two centuries ago, you were predicted,” he began before I interrupted.

  “Predicted? Me?” I wanted to laugh, but didn’t.

  “Yes. Maximus Arturo depicted a young couple, clearly soul mates by their unified red and purple aura that never flickers or fades. You see purple is the highest frequency, and the lowest frequency is red. You two are the perfect balance of love, life, of the material and spiritual habitants, the rarest of existence on this earth. Your permanent yellow halos depict a solid strength beyond your awareness. There is no break, no separation. Like two magnets melded together by their own pull, neither distance nor harm can segregate your bond. It is clear you act as one, love as one, and shall bring peace amongst our quarreling species as Maximus and Sir Staten claimed long ago,” he spoke thoughtfully, still awestruck as if he was in the presence of a royal family.

  “You’re joking?! Right? I mean I don’t even know who those people are. And Kellan… me… we’re… we’re not even together like boyfriend-girlfriend,” I stammered. I was dismissive, angry, and awestruck; I was the combination of all their reactions in one. It just didn’t make sense. To think me – Kellan – us – together would bring peace to unruly ignorants ruled by their history lessons teaching hate. The man was clearly crazy.

  “Maximus Arturo was a prophet, a leader of sorts to the vampeens, destroyed in the nineteenth century by a viciously raven vampire; and Sir Staten likewise to the vampires. Though they never crossed paths, their predictions were identical, flawless in description of one red and purple aura sharing young couple. I am a feeble vampire lucky enough to have been welcomed, embraced by Maximus. I have lived a full three-hundred-thirty-two years by the skin of my teeth. I have crossed far too many in my existence, but never have I happened a pair like you.” Energy was surging through him, excitement projecting with each new line.

  “You cannot pull from her side now that you are linked, am I correct?” Dr. Zhan pressed to Kellan.

  He wearily looked at me before nodding his head once.

  “And you both have kissed?” he asked anxiously.

  “Yes,” I answered cautiously.

  “You have touched his senses, felt his feelings as if they were yours, shared his mind and united as one soul feeling as if the universe shifted?!” He was nearly jumping in exasperated enthusiasm as he clamored through the intimate details of my kisses with Kellan as though he was there.

  “How…?” I couldn’t put it together.

  “My dear Alexa, you will rise to your destiny with Kellan, your eternal solitude of strength beside you. You cannot avoid fate, it will always find you. And I am not mistaken, you are the only two I have ever seen or heard of to carry a permanent unified single aura of red and purple. No other colors are flickering amongst them; they are a solid ring of red followed by purple surrounding you both. While they are common colors, they are seldom together with such vibrancy. Heed my words, you are the ones we have long awaited for,” he cited with diligence and a sort of reverie.

  Apparently Kellan wasn’t ready to hear this; I couldn’t say I was either. He interrupted, “What about Lexi’s nose? She doesn’t smell blood; she’ll resist humans easily without the scent to attract her.”

  “Ah, yes,” Dr. H stated removing a few instruments from his black bag. He asked a series of harmless questions over what I did and didn’t smell regularly. He inspected every part of me to ensure my transformation was complete.

  Dr. Zhan then handed me a cup of dark red syrup. He asked me to smell it. I noticed Kellan, my mother and Al all took one step away from me, as if the contents were something to fear.

  Cautiously, shaken by their reactions, I lifted the contents towards my nose, yet smelled nothing. I relinquished the container back to Dr. Zhan shrugging, “I don’t smell anything.”

  “Nothing?” Dr. H confirmed.

  I shook my head acknowledging my original statement.

  Dr. H pulled out a small silver canister. The moment he opened the lid one millimeter, the air filled of ancient dried herbs mixed into a sour, molten blend.

  “Whoa! That smells bad!” I exclaimed pinching my nose between my thumb and pointer finger.

  The doctors exchanged glances, as if they were speaking without words. “Alexa, do you want to feed off humans for survival?” Dr. Zhan asked.

  “Not really,” I replied sheepishly. I was fully aware that most would shun my desire.

  “Interesting,” Dr. H commented.

  “What is it doctors?” my mother questioned.

  “You truly are different Alexa,” Dr. H announced.

  “Different good or different bad?” I pressed beginning to fiddle with my hands.

  “That depends on how you view it,” he answered.

  “What’s the problem doc?” Al interjected, arms folded defensively yet he spoke with sheer curiosity.

  “Ah. It seems our dear Alexa here has a gift beyond her impeccable aura balance,” Dr. Zhan stated, raising his arms towards the heavens as a gleam sparkled in his eyes.

  “Me? A gift?” I fumbled trying to piece it all together. “Are we still talking about my nose?”

  “Of course, for your gift is will-power,” he answered.

  “Will-power? That’s it?” I wasn’t certain as to what the big deal was. Everyone has will-power and self-control to some degree. I didn’t see why they would make such a fuss over it.

  “Ah, but yours is advanced. You see Alexa, your will-power is so strong that you are able to control your senses with your determination,” he explained. “Once you set your mind to something, your senses react and adjust accordingly.”

  “So what you’re saying is since she doesn’t want to feed off humans, she has willed her scent of them to be muted?”My mother talked through her reasoning, wrinkling her forehead as she processed everything.

  “That is precisely what I am saying,” he acknowledged.

  He shifted in front of me raising his hands to either side of my face. I felt Kellan stiffen beside me, his eyes darting at Dr. Zhan with intensity.

  “You are who they’ve predicted. I am not wrong,” he reiterated. Staring straight into his eyes, I saw through Dr. Zhan. He gave no hint of a fib, no deceitful glare. Even the creases of his weathered face and soft brown eyes appeared genuine.

  “How do I smell humans? How do I unplug my nose?” I asked breaking away.

  “You must will it into existence,” he replied stepping back to gather his container of liquid.

  “How do I do that?”

  “Only you can determine that my dear. It is your will not mine,” he riddled.

  “So what am I supposed to do?” I panicked glancing at my mother who was still awestruck and slightly confused by expression.

  “Decide, believe, and enforce,” he stated.

  “I know this sounds strange Alexa; you are only the second one we’ve crossed with this ability. Perhaps you should read a few books on the power of positive thinking and thinking things into existence. They should in essence detail what is happening to you and give you a few ideas on how to change it,” Dr. H offered.

  I shook my head. I supposed
I could purchase some books when I meet up with Mel later. They gathered their belongings and shuffled out. Downstairs I heard my dad silently pacing alongside an ever-calm Beth. I guessed my dad didn’t want to hear bad news or react poorly in my presence.

  “Mom,” I called her on her way out the door. “Can Kellan and I go for a drive?” Kellan didn’t say anything though I could sense his disquiet.

  “Where to?” she asked.

  “The beach.” It was Kellan’s favorite place to think, and right now I needed to think and get answers from him. I knew he understood my motive behind the trip, but he remained silent.

  “Can you protect her?” my mother directed towards Kellan sternly.

  “I think I’ve proven that,” he reminded her rigidly.

  “Yes Lexi. You can go. It’s probably for the best. Your father is struggling to cope with you despite his calm façade,” she stated before leaving.

  “You ready?” I prompted to Kellan.

  “Yea,” he replied motioning towards the door.

  “We should leave quickly. Like run. I don’t want my dad to see me,” I prompted. Glancing at the bedside clock showing 6:58am, I mentally noted my countdown to see Mel.

  The car ride there was smooth and quick as usual. It gave me time to reflect though, to focus on me and Kellan, to correlate what Dr. Zhan was referencing earlier. How was he so accurate in description of our connection? I’d known Kellan three weeks as of today yet it felt like years. I felt like he’d always been a part of me, always belonged in my life. I didn’t dare say I loved him at this point, it’s far too soon, yet my connection to him surpassed that level of flattery. Dare I say I couldn’t live without him?

  My hesitations were justified because my observations were all relationships started with such bliss, but none were as intense emotionally. What I had with Mike was nice, it’s cordially passionate in many ways but nothing close to the fiery pit of L’s associated with me and Kellan.

  Oh God, I love him. With every fiber of my being I love him. Now that he’s in my world, I would be crushed should he abruptly leave. I was overwhelmed by him. Though he’d been with me every waking moment, my heart still skipped a beat when I opened my eyes to see him beside me. His eyes still captivated me as did his smile dazzle my senses. And maybe the overanalytical side of me was in over-drive but our lips matched perfectly; Mike’s lips were smaller than mine which made me feel sloppy when I kissed him sometimes. Kellan and I aligned perfectly. Come to think of it, we fit together as if our anatomy was uniquely designed to interlock like a puzzle.

  I looked over at him as he swiftly parked on the first try though it was a tight parallel space. He lightly squeezed my hand before opening my door one second later. I couldn’t help but sense his reservations in taking my hand as we walked towards the beach. I knew he was overcome with the same compilation as me, yet I wanted to see it, to feel it to confirm my assumptions and there was only one way.

  I stopped myself though. I couldn’t insist on prying the truth from him, invading his space over my selfish insecurities. I couldn’t force a connection just to find answers. No, I needed to remain civilized despite the vampire within.

  I respectfully broke the ice. “I need to know something.”

  He said nothing, but gave me a light hand-squeeze and one quick nod signaling his acceptance.

  “Do you believe him?”

  We continued walking for several minutes. I didn’t press recognizing his faraway look. He was thinking, deciphering his response. I merely absorbed the sounds of nature’s beast beside me and random clanks and chatter. He finally turned to face me. “I need to know first. Do you believe him?”

  Normally I would argue that I asked first, but it seemed insubstantial to me. “I… umm…” I stuttered. I wasn’t anticipating this, but gathered what thoughts I could and answered truthfully. “I’m confused. He sounded so confident, so sure of his claim. I can’t help but consider the relevance of his words. But I also can’t help thinking he could be wrong. What stands out is he knew our weird connection as if he felt it; like he was there in our minds when, well… you know…” I trailed off looking down at the sand beneath my sneakers. I dragged my shoe in the shape of a heart.

  Kellan took my face in his hands forcing me to look in his eyes, eyes I still get lost in. They hold my interest with their mesmerizing color yet draw me in with their depth, striations as deep as the walls surrounding a once cold distant man. “Maybe this makes me crazy, but I believe him. My mother told me the fortune long ago in Spain so I’m familiar with it. And racking my brain, I can’t think of a better couple to make this happen than us. I’m vampire, you’re vampeen. I want to devour humans, you don’t; and no other woman could have me consider the pro-life eating habit. Whether I like it or not, I can’t walk away from you. There are times when I can’t take my eyes off you without feeling anxious. I’m in love with a strong vampeen who compliments every part of me including my vampire heritage. I was a wreck until I met you. You’ve sobered me into a warrior in weeks. I would fight until the end of time to ensure a safe existence for you, even if that means killing my own kind. Regardless of the hard front, I don’t enjoy murder, but I do value my life with you in it. The only alternative is to bring peace among our kinds. And knowing that’s the only way you will forever be safe to live outside a gang driven existence, I’ll gladly take on the task,” he answered solemnly.

  For the first time ever, all my guards were plowed through with one speech. Never had I wanted to give all of myself to a man, but I did here and now to Kellan. Was this possible? Were we meant to act as a pair of Ghandis to the vamp world?

  Strangely, it wasn’t until he phrased it just right that I realized we were our own modern translation of West Side Story. He’s from the vampire world, I’m from the vampeen world – rival kinds that are so similar, distant cousins in a family, yet make the value on their existence be based off how many ‘distant cousins’ they kill.

  I knew without hesitation now that Kellan was my destiny, the one, my future husband, father to my children, and lifelong partner. But was he also my business partner, my lethal advocate of peace with his kind to ensure no other vampeen endured the wrath my gran did? Maybe. Or maybe not. Either way, he was still my destiny. No other guy was capable of obtaining another look from me similar to the one I was giving Kellan now.

  Though I acknowledged all this, I was still waiting. I took my choice seriously, and maybe I just wanted a choice left in my life. Everything else was pre-determined or forced upon me; from going to school to becoming a vampeen to drinking human blood, it’s all set in stone. Sex was the one stronghold I still carried since I was a virgin. It’s like the last remnant of power to a lonely royal heir.

  “Lexi,” Kellan whispered pulling me back from my mental analytics.

  “Yea?” I reply softly.

  “Do you think I’m crazy?” he asked hesitantly.

  “We’re both crazy,” I smiled leaning in to kiss him. I couldn’t describe it since our last collision was so powerful, yet this one put it to shame. Entwined in his arms, I ran my hands up his shirt with a feeling only God should encompass. Right here, right now with Kellan, I felt like united we could control every celestial pool, every rebellious communist, every bomb set to explode before us in seconds.

  I was closer than any girl had ever been to him yet I craved so much more. I felt myself being lowered to the sand but didn’t break the moment to check. I lifted Kellan’s shirt revealing his chiseled chest pressed to mine, his powerful biceps visibly holding me in a protective delicate manner, and continued to kiss my love.

  “I never thought destiny could feel like this,” he said, though I was fully aware it was spoken mentally.

  “I never anticipated forever with you,” I replied.

  “Are you disappointed?”

  “Not in the slightest.” I moved my hands to lock behind his neck, entwining a few locks of hair concurrently.

  “Uh-hem,” a gruff
sound disturbed my bliss. My eyes flew open just as Kellan was on his feet.

  “Can I help you officer?” he pressed politely.

  “There are to be no indecent public displays on the beach. Now is that a problem?” he demanded.

  On my feet beside Kellan now, I replied a stern, “No.”

  “You kids run along before my disposition changes,” he ordered.

  I kept my eyes cautiously on Kellan unsure of what to expect from him. When I saw the flicker of rage rush him, I knew what was coming. I quickly took charge. “Listen officer, we weren’t doing anything criminal. No indecent exposure was placating before you, only a P.D.A., which may have been offensive but certainly not illegal. We’re not the same teenagers you see uprooting your streets or causing a ruckus at school and therefore shouldn’t be treated in such a manner. We’re not all ignorant rugrats. Now we will leave but understand it’s not because of your command, it is by our will alone. Let’s go Kellan,” I stated grabbing his arm and shirt at the same time with unwavering confidence and a feeling of empowerment.

  I wasn’t sure if I stepped in because I wanted to stop the officer from getting hurt or because I knew he couldn’t arrest me if he tried. I no longer feared those who demanded respect yet didn’t deserve it. No human will ever be able to bully me again.

  I pushed Kellan out of the way to open my own door and slammed it shut declaring my independence abrasively.

  He shut his door and was on top of me in a flash. “Damn. That was hot! You’ve never been so sexy.”

  I pushed him off with one last press of my lips to his, a definite stress releaser I must admit. “Well the guy was being a jerk!”

  He positioned himself back on the driver’s side but never removed his eyes from me. Staring into them, I saw a fire flaring, an erotic fit roaring beneath his surface. For the first time, Kellan was staring at me with pure unadulterated lust. And knowing how I felt about him, knowing how easily I could get carried away, I prompted, “Are you going to drive or do you want me to?”

  “Can you?” he asked with a devilish grin.