Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  The rage left Kellan; his muscles relaxed and his piercing eyes turned to that of a sad puppy. “I wish you would have told me. We can find an alternative for you,” he said.

  “Is there one?” I asked feeling hopeful, my face lighting up at the thought despite the tears still silently streaming down.

  “I’ll help you find one,” he smiled wiping away a few drops on my cheeks. He rolled off of me and firmly ordered, “Now go get dressed. You need to drink.”

  I shook my head obediently knowing I couldn’t avoid this any longer. I changed quickly in the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a messy bun. I walked out to see him sitting up with a cup in his hand.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  “This is yours. You need to drink all of it.”

  I sat beside him and rendered the glass from his hand. Looking in, there were a few ice cubes in a thick red liquid. I sniffed at it, but couldn’t smell anything out of the ordinary about it. “What is it?”

  “It’s human blood. Now drink.”

  Wearily, I sucked a tiny bit of the liquid into my mouth. I didn’t know what to expect. You think of drinking blood as a human and you’re ready to gag, but it was actually sweet and crisp like mint lemonade on a hot summer day, only thicker. It didn’t bother me so much in that reference and it didn’t smell bad. No rusty, salted metal here; I actually didn’t smell anything at all from the cup. The liquid in my throat still sizzling dropped in temperature the very millisecond the red liquid trickled down. It was still very present, but not burning like before.

  Feeling more confident based off my body’s initial reaction to the tiniest bit, I sipped a larger amount. This time, the serum began to dwindle in levels. I looked up at Kellan who was eagerly sitting beside me, encouraging me to continue with his eyes and an adoring smile. I swallowed the rest of the drink in under thirty seconds.

  I handed him the empty cup. The moment he retrieved it from me the healing serum, cold as ice now, spewed into my mouth. My eyes widened in panic as I looked at Kellan alarmingly.

  “Swallow it. If you were feeding off a human that’s what you would spit back into the bite wound to heal them quickly.”

  “Disgusting!” I yelled after swallowing the liquid. This time though it actually stayed below my esophagus. I took a deep breath inhaling through my mouth. It felt so great that I did it a few more times. I couldn’t help but beam at feeling the relief I did.

  “You were brave.”

  “With what?”

  “Lexi, I got that burning feeling in my throat once and literally attacked the next human I saw. How you were able to put up with the pain, the stinging fire in your throat for so long… Well, let’s just say that I couldn’t do it.”

  “Yea, but my cause was worthless. I just drank a human’s blood. Actually… where did you get that?” I questioned.

  “My dad bought a few pints of blood from the blood bank a week ago. Every so often he does this in case of an emergency like today with you,” he explained.

  “Wait. So humans donate the blood and then you buy it; like how they buy their groceries at a store?” I pressed. A light bulb went off in my head.

  “Yes. It only lasts about forty-five days though and it’s expensive,” he replied.

  “Like how expensive are we talking?”

  “Each time you feed, you’re supposed to take at least eight pints from the human. The average human has ten to twelve pints in their body. You need to feed for strong performance levels at least once a week but could get by with once every other week. The average unit of blood costs between $150 - $200. One unit is about two pints of blood. So total, you would need at least three to four twice a month so you would be looking at about a $1,400 per month grocery bill as you like put it.”

  I furrowed by brows and widened my eyes in amazement. “Wow.”

  “I told you,” he shrugged.

  “Not the cost. You.”

  “What did I do?” he became defensive.

  “I’m just amazed at the wealth of knowledge you have with all this stuff.” I began fiddling with my hands again. “That is expensive though. I can see why vampires just take it for free with that cost attached,” I sighed feeling frustrated.

  Why is it that for humans the healthy nutritious food like organics are more expensive? You would think it was the preservatives that added the extra cost to it, but apparently not. I mean you don’t spray pesticides on an organic apple which saves you money, but yet you charge twice as much for it. And with blood, I just don’t understand why something that is technically free when donated would have such a high price tag. You pay the nurse $15 for an hour of work. It doesn’t take an hour to stick a needle in someone’s arm and extract blood. I know, I know, there are other costs in processing, testing and storage and yada, yada, but that is a lot of money. I will never judge the hospital for a high transfusion bill again! Unfortunately though, this definitely was not helping my cause.

  “I have money in the bank. Why don’t we buy the blood for now until we figure out an alternative for you?” he offered.

  “I have money in my account too. I don’t want to use yours unless I absolutely have to. I guess just ask your dad if he’ll buy it for me or show me how and where to buy it,” I said. Thinking thoroughly beyond this expensive alternative, I recalled the idea of breaking away at seventy-five percent. If I could master it, then I wouldn’t need an alternate. I could drink in the true vampire fashion without sacrificing my morals. I would feel guilty for hurting a human, but as long as they lived, I’d have protected them.

  “Sure. You’re going to need more very soon though. What you drank was only a pint.”

  “It seemed like a lot more,” I noted aloud. “I think eventually I will feed off humans but practice in the way we spoke before, taking enough but not killing them.”

  “I know my limitations and I can’t control myself in consumption right now. I’ll ask my dad to help you if you want though,” he offered.

  I nodded in agreement. “Umm… thanks again for helping me with everything,” I said fidgeting with my hands nervously.

  He smiled lovingly, putting the earphones in his ears and pressing play on his red iPod. I nestled close to enjoy the music in the arms of my love and he willingly embraced me.

  Chapter 20

  “Are you fully prepared for this?” Al asked as we ran through the woods alongside a bike path.

  It was early in the morning, 5a.m. to be exact, and though I was about to do what I’d been dreading, I was attempting to glue myself together mentally.

  “Yea, I think so.”

  It’d been over a week since my family discovered my big secret and two days since I’d consumed human blood from a bag. Kellan provided me with three pints of blood which sustained me, but more was necessary for my maintenance at full capacity.

  The last ten days, both Kellan and Al had trained me non-stop. They’d done their due diligence in attack and feeding preparation. I’d slept merely two hours, yet I lacked no supply of energy. Sadly, this confirmed my body’s dependence on human blood. Al had been persistent in warning me of the temptation. He explained that once I bite and taste the blood, a rush of instinctual action will take over me. He said to guard my mind during this process to avoid surrendering to my vampire side.

  After days of practicing physically and mentally, the time had come to test myself. Al forced Kellan to stay behind and he fed earlier to avoid temptation and focus on me. Should I get carried away, he promised to protect my mission and withdraw me. Nerves swarmed me as I prepared myself. The scary part was only in not knowing what’s to come… You can only train so much in simulation.

  “I smell one jogging alone,” he prompted.

  “I don’t. Am I supposed to?” I checked. I knew my nose worked because I smelled the dewy forest floor and the pine of the cones scattered about. Maybe I was just missing it. It was technically my first attempt to smell a human that should be appetizing to me; I w
ould never view my dad or friends as a meal.

  He stopped abruptly. “You don’t smell anything?”

  “Well, I smell nature – the trees, the moss, the musky smell of a fire nearby but nothing else really.”

  “Hmm. This is not normal Lexi. The scent of a human should entice you. Like a roast fresh out the oven, their smell should make your mouth water and adrenaline rush through you.”

  I inhaled deep and released a quick, “Nope, I’ve got none of that.”

  “I’ll guide you to him. You should retain more control than I anticipated without the scent to hypnotize you,” he stated thoughtfully. “But we must look into this. We rely on our scent far more than we should. You will be crippled, especially in battle, without it.”

  We resumed our previous pace. As we got closer, I heard the pitter patter of a heavy sprint against the smooth concrete path. I was confused by my nasal issues, but at least I could default to my hearing.

  Concurrent to each pound I heard two heart beats muffled by upbeat alternative music. The closer I got the more anxiety built within me. I thought no enticing scent was making it worse. There was no allure to the man other than to rid my throat of this bit of serum. I wished I was extremely thirsty, so far hunger crazed that my mind couldn’t falter away to moral and actions.

  I sprung onto the path slowing my pace to match the human before me. I heard Al following a short parallel distance within the forest. The dark haired man stood about 6 feet tall. Clothed in basketball shorts, a jacket and earphones, I was momentarily distracted by his likeness to Kellan from behind. Ugh. Definitely the no scent of humans thing is a hindrance!

  Focus Lexi!

  I located the major pulsing point in his neck, the one I was prepared, or at least I thought I was prepared, to tear into. Crouching slightly I increased my speed and mentally counted one… two.. three!

  Half a second later I was hovering over the man I knocked unconscious with my abrupt attack. I lowered my mouth, shaking in unison. I bit; my teeth punched through his skin as if I’d only bit into a sandwich.

  Just as Al predicted, the moment the first drop of blood hit my tongue, my instincts dominated. The warmth of the pulsing blood that effortlessly filled my mouth was what drove me to want more. Kellan was smart with ice cubes before; it didn’t taste the same. The blood was quenching a thirst I didn’t know existed. Like a cold shower on a hot day, my body fell into a hypnotic mode caressed by a physical elation.

  The blood still steadily pumping wasn’t fast enough to satisfy my desires. I felt like the desert man who’d discovered a spring. I began inhaling, sucking the liquid in large volumes until I heard a voice.

  “Lexi,” Al called.

  Though I didn’t want to pull away, though my mouth still tingled and watered with an uncontrollable thirst, I lifted my head slightly to acknowledge him.

  It was then that I peered down at the man I’d used as a life source. He was lying sideways and scattered. Dirt covered his once clean attire and rocks were stabbing at his arms. I saw the blood trickling down his neck just as the serum regurgitated into my mouth. I spit it onto his red stained neck where I bit into him.

  Though I had consciously sketched every part of this man into my mind, I purposefully omitted his face. I refused to look beyond the healing wound of my unexpecting donor. I couldn’t face myself in the mirror should it happen to be someone I knew.

  Seconds later I glanced at the wound once more before rising and was surprised to see it entirely scabbed over and beginning to fade. It had been no more than three seconds from the time the serum touched his skin. I quickly rose retreating into the forest swiftly as if I would be caught any minute.

  I ran fast following close behind Al. Rounding back to his car my emotions and my conscience over the act I’d completed set in. I didn’t kill the man, but I’d rendered him unconscious, drank six pints of his blood and left him deserted to awake in confusion feeling light headed. Avoiding murder, I still was soaked in guilt over my actions. I realized in this that humans are not at the top of the food chain like they boast. They are weak and I felt weak for having consumed the life flow of most of one. I knew this too would pass; I knew I would adjust to this new lifestyle, this new means of survival, but not until I’d rid my conscience of my human morals or rectified my senses.

  I didn’t understand why humans carried no scent to me, but I believed that was the key to pacifying my conscience in this new appetite.

  Arriving at my house, we found my mother, Kellan, and my dad pacing the living room floor while Beth sat casually at ease on the couch. They rushed me through the front door and drilled me relentlessly.

  “How was it?” my mother started.

  “Did you kill him?” Kellan asked.

  “Are you ok sweetie?” my dad pressed. I could tell he felt uncomfortable, almost like he was encouraging a crime but wanted to remain the ever supportive father.

  Al answered for me. “Lexi did great. She didn’t kill him and followed through in healing him perfectly. I was impressed by her control. She pulled away the first time I called, but…”

  “What is it?” my mother rushed at his hesitation.

  “She told me she doesn’t smell humans.”

  “You don’t?” she pressed, crinkling her forehead with concern.

  “At all?” Kellan checked, tilting his head a bit in attentive confusion.

  “Do you smell other things?” Beth chimed in.

  I shrugged my shoulders unsure of what I was supposed to say or do. “I didn’t know I was supposed to until Al mentioned it. I mean, yea, I smell everything else – trees, flowers, salt water, Kellan’s cologne – but not Dad or any other human really,” I explained.

  I heard my dad breathe a sigh of relief. “Al, have you ever heard of such a thing?” my mother asked.

  “Never, this is definitely a doctor’s call,” he replied.

  “Beth?” she turned toward Kellan’s mother anxiously.

  “Call the doctor Sharon. I’m sure he will figure it out,” she answered softly.

  “I’ll call him. Lexi, why don’t you go shower and change, you’re a little dirty,” she prompted.

  I obeyed retreating to my room shortly after I gave my distressed dad a hug and kiss. I knew he was relieved that I didn’t desire to eat him or any other human, but he was also concerned because he understood enough to know I should have wanted to and that I definitely should smell them with enticement.

  Kellan, of course, beat me to my room. “How do you feel?”

  “Ok,” I answered robotically though I hadn’t been able to look anyone in the eyes, especially him since I’d walked through the front door.

  He grabbed my arms and centered me in front of him. He took my face in his hands and smiled brilliantly, dimple exposed and teeth shining, as he spoke, “I’m proud of you. Without smell driving you, I know you had to consciously bite him.”

  “Yea, I still feel horrible. I couldn’t look at his face. And now I can’t think about my broken resolve knowing I abandoned the man on a bike path half dead,” I gushed as a few tears trickled down my cheeks.

  “You can’t cry now,” Kellan said quickly. “It’s blood.” He wiped away the liquid drops and held up his red stained fingers. I broke from his hold and ran to the bathroom alarmed.

  “How?! Why?!” I yelled frantically. I ripped the toilet paper from the roll and began blotching like a mad woman.

  “Calm down Lexi. It’s okay. It’s just that when you drink human blood, you’ll cry human blood.”

  “What happened to my tears?” I pressed anxiously.

  “They’ll come back. When you drink human blood, it’s quickly absorbed throughout your body. Like water, it hydrates so many parts of you including the reserves in your eyes. Once your body fully processes the blood, uses its fuel where needed, the salt water will return in a balanced chart. You’re still human in a lot of ways and still need to drink water regularly like you’ve been doing,” he explained.
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  I laughed. “I didn’t understand that; I’m too mentally jumbled right now. But as long as I don’t cry blood forever, I guess I’m okay.”

  He smiled tugging me into his arms for a warm embrace.

  “I’m sorry for being so crazy. It’s just feeding was so much harder mentally than physically; more than I assumed. I know I’ll get used to it, I’m just overwhelmed by the memory of what I did,” I mumbled.

  “You’re too innocent for your own good.”

  Hugging him provided more than comfort; it surrounded me with his unconditional love and much needed relief. I was able to acknowledge that I wasn’t the same as I was yesterday and further different in comparison to last Thursday. I felt like a soldier returning from war, I’d seen and heard things most hadn’t and that’d altered me on a level I couldn’t comprehend fully at this point.

  Chapter 21

  “Hello again Alexa,” Dr. H greeted entering my room.

  I stood from my bed and replied, “Hello.”

  Kellan copied my movement standing beside me now. My mother, Al, and a man I didn’t know shuffled in.

  “Alexa, this is my colleague Dr. Zhan,” he announced gesturing towards the short man. He must have stood merely five feet and was at least two inches shorter than me. He was quite the opposite of Dr. H with dark withered skin, salt and pepper hair, thick bifocals despite what should be perfect vision, and yet a strong aura of utter wisdom exuded him.

  “Oh my!” he exclaimed staring wide-eyed between me and Kellan. He slipped into the tongue I was growing familiar of hearing yet still didn’t comprehend. Kellan’s stance tightened at my side.

  My mother asked a question and now gave the same astonished doe-eyed glare.

  Al muttered something incomprehensible in the foreign language, he sounded shocked and as if he was discrediting the words of the old man near the end.

  I leaned over cautiously and whispered to Kellan, “What are they talking about?”

  “You don’t want to know,” he answered coldly never leaving the eyes of Dr. Zhan.