The Funny Thing about Love: Feel Good Sweet Romance stories

by Laura Burton

Lainey looked down at him. For some reason, she was suddenly nervous. She'd never swam in the middle of a lake. She was used to beaches and pools, places where she could tell how deep the water was.

  "Come on, Lainey," Lance called. "There aren't any sharks."

  "Except you," she called back.

  The lazy grin she was growing so fond of spread across his face. "Are you chicken?"

  So it was like that? Well, she couldn't let a challenge go unanswered. She ran the length of the pontoon and leaped, clutching both of her knees to her chest to cannonball into the lake. She plunged into the water. It was shockingly cold, but she embraced it, allowing it to envelop her as she sank deeper.

  She had never been in water like this before. The deep-end of a swimming pool was the extent of her experience. This was different. Magical. She was surrounded by water. Water above, water below, as far as the eye could see. Goosebumps erupted across her flesh, but she didn't care. She'd never felt this exhilarated in her life.

  When her lungs felt ready to burst, she kicked to the surface. She was thrilled by the way the water got warmer the closer she got to the sunlight. She surfaced, gasping for air. She straightened her legs and flexed her toes, relishing in the coolness of the deeper water on her skin.

  Lainey looked around for the others, surprised to see everyone staring at her with stunned expressions. What was wrong with them?

  Lance was the first to break the silence. "I thought you'd drowned." His voice quivered with anger.

  "I was a little scared, too," Annie called from the boat. "Most people pop back up as soon as they hit the water. You were under for ages."

  Lainey glanced at Paul, who was also nodding. "I was already brainstorming ways to put it in a book. Mutant freshwater octopi sprang immediately to mind."

  Lainey and Annie both laughed. Lance didn’t. He looked really upset.

  She swam to his side. "I'm sorry I scared you," she whispered. When he didn’t respond, she splashed him.

  He glared at her but splashed her back. Soon, they were both laughing, each throwing water into the other's face.

  "Time for me to get out of the water before I'm caught in the crossfire," Paul said, laughing. Lainey watched as Paul climbed the ladder and embraced his wife in a passionate kiss.

  When Paul released her, Annie grinned down at Lainey. "We'll start grilling burgers. You two have fun."

  Lainey looked back at Lance. His face had relaxed, the anger gone, replaced with a look Lainey couldn’t quite place. Relief, maybe? He reached for her, pulling her toward him, and causing a new wave of goosebumps to rise on her skin.

  "From now on, I’m making you wear a lifejacket," he growled.

  "Were you really scared?"

  He nodded. "I was. You were under for a long time. Too long."

  Lainey shivered. But from the cool water or the intensity of his words, she wasn't sure.

  "Cold?" Lance asked.

  "Not at all," Lainey answered through chattering teeth.

  Laughing, Lance grasped her waist and pulled her closer. Heat rushed through her body as he folded her into his muscled arms. Even her toes, still pointed to reach to the deepest level of the lake she could reach, felt warm.

  "Try to splash me now." His breath felt hot in her ear.

  She shook her head so that her long hair whipped into his face.

  Lance chuckled. He looked so carefree, no longer the stuffy, uptight, perfect man she'd first met. Now, his wet hair stood in every direction. He was absolutely beautiful.

  His hazel eyes reflected the surface of the lake. They drifted to her lips. Lainey's breath caught. Was he going to kiss her? His head tilted toward hers and the world ceased to exist. Lainey could no longer hear Paul and Annie on the boat. The birds in the trees stopped chattering. Even the gentle lake waves lapping against the shore froze in place. Lainey could hear nothing but the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears.

  Lance nuzzled her nose with his own and then brushed his lips lightly against hers. "Your lips are warm," he whispered. Lainey wasn't surprised. Her whole body was on fire. She pressed her lips back to his, kissing him with a hunger she didn’t know was in her.

  Too soon, the kiss was interrupted by a shrill whistle piercing the air. Sound rushed back to Lainey's ears. She heard Paul and Annie laughing.

  "Burgers are ready, lovebirds," Paul called.

  Lainey looked back at Lance, still breathless. She didn’t want to let go of him. Not now. Not ever. But when he looked at her, there was a strange glint in his eyes.

  Triumph.

  He leaned his face to hers again, whispering in her ear. "I knew we could pull this off. They have no idea we're not really engaged. They're totally buying it."

  The elation Lainey had felt sank like an anchor in her gut. She wanted to weep. That kiss…that passionate kiss…the best kiss of her life…meant nothing.

  Of course, Paul and Annie were buying it. For a minute there, so had she.

  Chapter 11

  Lainey managed to choke down a hamburger, despite her roiling stomach. There would be no love story for her and Lance. It was a fake relationship. That had been crystal clear from the start. They had a verbal contract, for goodness’ sake.

  How could she have been so stupid? She didn’t even like the man.

  But that wasn’t true. Not anymore. She may not have liked the man she had met at the diner, but now she’d seen a different side of him. A softer side. Now she knew him to be a good man. The kind of man who would hold an umbrella over an old dog in the rain. A man who wouldn’t get angry when a woman nearly got him arrested by being a complete and total idiot.

  And that’s exactly what she was. An idiot. Because she did like Lance. A lot.

  She just needed to focus on the things she didn’t like about him. But she was drawing a blank. If she was being honest, she couldn’t even blame him for his behavior at the diner. No one would be happy to have a full pitcher of cheap beer dumped in their lap. And she hadn’t been fired because of him. Not really. If it had been Lainey’s first mishap, her manager probably would have let it slide.

  But it wasn’t her first. Or her second. Or even her third. She really was a dreadful waitress.

  In fact, she could only think of one thing she hated about him—that he was completely unaffected by their kiss. But the last thing she needed to focus on was that kiss. That stupid kiss.

  As Lance and Paul discussed books and publication schedules, Annie tried to engage Lainey in conversation. But Lainey couldn’t keep up her side of the chatter. She played it off as though she was too distracted by the beauty of the lake to be good company.

  Earlier in the day, it had been true. The lake was amazing. More than one eagle had flown overhead. But even the majesty of a bald eagle couldn’t rescue Lainey from her melancholy. Finally, as the sun set and the temperature dropped, the others were ready to call it a day.

  When they got back to the RV, Lainey told Lance she wasn't feeling well and needed to go to bed. Concern etched in his face, he told her to get some rest. Without being asked, he hooked the leash onto Chonk’s collar to take him for a walk.

  Lainey tucked herself into bed, burrowing beneath the covers until only her forehead was visible. After Chonk’s walk, Lance came into the bedroom to check on her. Lainey pretended to be asleep. Moments later, Lance’s hand was resting on her forehead, as if he was checking for a fever. The kind gesture brought tears to her eyes. She pleaded silently for him to go away.

  “Come here, beast,” Lance whispered. “Lainey needs you.” He grunted softly, as though picking up something heavy. And then Chonk was there, pressed against Lainey’s side.

  She loved the feeling of her dog next to her. For years, Chonk had been her greatest comfort. But now he wasn’t enough. Lainey wanted Lance to wrap her in his arms, stroke her hair, and press his lips to hers.

  But as much as she wanted it, she knew she could never let him kiss her again. Her heart simply couldn’t take it.

>   Lainey slept dreadfully. She had tossed and turned for hours before drifting into a restless sleep. Shortly after sunrise, she gave up and rose for the day. She rolled over to pat her dog’s belly, but he wasn’t there. At some point in the night, Chonk had abandoned her. She had the sinking suspicion that she would find him snuggled on the couch with Lance. Traitor.

  As Lainey tiptoed to the door, she passed Lance and Chonk on the couch. Once again, they looked adorable. This time, Lance slept on his side with an arm draped over Chonk. Lance looked so peaceful in his sleep. She longed to reach out and stroke his face. Instead, she quietly grabbed a bottled frappe from the refrigerator, tucked a sketchpad and pencil into her back pocket, and left the RV.

  It was still early, so not many campers had ventured out yet. She sipped her coffee, enjoying the solitude. It was so peaceful here. After a quick stroll, Lainey returned to their campsite. She sat at the picnic table, flipped open her sketchpad, and reviewed a picture book she’d begun writing and illustrating years before. It still needed a lot of work, but she turned to a fresh sheet of paper.

  Her pencil flew across the page. After an hour, she glanced down at her work. Without really meaning to, she’d drawn several vignettes inspired by the trip. Lance walking Chonk in the rain. Lance chucking an umbrella at a bored-looking bear. Lance snuggled with Chonk on the couch. Lance kissing Lainey in a lake as mutant octopus tentacles encircled her legs, preparing to drag her under.

  “Mornin’, Lainey.”

  Annie’s voice startled Lainey, making her jump. When had she arrived? And how on earth could a pregnant woman move with such stealth?

  Annie grabbed Lainey’s sketchpad without asking, peering at each vignette. “Wow. These are terrific. You have real talent.” She pointed at the octopus tentacles. “Paul would love this one. Mind if I take a picture to show him?” Annie waited for Lainey to give her nod of approval and then snapped a photo with her phone.

  Lainey noticed Annie’s shoes then. She wore hiking boots over thick wool socks. “Are you taking a hike?”

  “Yep,” Annie said. “And I’d like you to join me.”

  Lainey looked down at her worn Converse sneakers. “I don’t have the appropriate gear.”

  “That’s okay,” Annie assured her. “The trail to the waterfall is an easy one. You could hike it in flipflops. But Paul is protective of the baby and insists I wear hiking boots.”

  "If you say so,” Lainey said. “Just give me a sec to leave a message for Lance.” She scribbled a note on a blank page of sketch paper and stuck it under the RV’s windshield wiper.

  The two women walked in silence for several minutes. The trail was well-worn and easy to follow, just as Annie had promised. Before long, it felt like they were deep in the forest. Lainey loved it.

  "Lance is a good-looking man,” Annie said, breaking the silence.

  "Really? I hadn't noticed,” Lainey joked.

  "You have excellent chemistry,” Annie said. “If you keep pretending to be engaged, you may even accidentally fall in love."

  Annie’s unexpected words caught Lainey off-guard, causing her to stumble over a tree root. "We are in love,” she insisted. “Madly in love.”

  "No, you're not,” Annie said with absolute certainty. "Not yet."

  How did she know? Lainey had no clue what to say. She had always been a terrible liar. "What makes you think that?"

  Annie smiled. "Before I met Paul, I worked as a matchmaker. It was my job to notice these things. And the Ph.D. in psychology doesn't hurt, either.”

  "But…you saw us kiss," Lainey said lamely. She knew better than anyone that a kiss didn’t have to mean anything.

  "Yep," Annie said. "That's how I know you have chemistry. But I also noticed how confused you were after the kiss. And how you avoided touching Lance the rest of the day.” She stopped abruptly, turning to look Lainey in the eye. "What I don’t understand is why you’re lying.”

  Lainey sighed. “Lance heard that Paul might prefer to work with an agent who was in a relationship.”

  "I see," Annie said shortly. “So, this lie was concocted to manipulate my husband? I can’t say I’m pleased about that.”

  Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Lainey had to fix this. “It’s not like that, Annie, I swear. Yes, Lance is lying about being engaged. But his intentions are good. No one would work harder for Paul.”

  Annie pursed her lips. "I don't like the lying."

  "Are you going to tell?" Lainey’s voice was small.

  Annie tilted her head, pondering. "Not yet, but only because my matchmaker senses are tingling. I have a feeling about you and Lance. If all goes well, maybe you won't be lying when all is said and done."

  Maybe they wouldn’t be lying when all was said and done? Annie thought Lance and Lainey may actually get engaged? Lainey didn’t believe that for a second. But she didn’t argue. She needed Annie to keep their secret. The question now was whether she should tell Lance. He was not going to like this one bit.

  Chapter 12

  Despite Annie’s bombshell, Lainey felt better after their hike. She enjoyed the other woman's company. Smart and funny, Annie was the sort of person Lainey wanted to have for a friend.

  When Lainey got back to her campsite, she found Lance playing frisbee with Chonk. Her heart swelled with tenderness for Lance. How could she not like a man who took such good care of her dog? Chonk ran to her side, shaking the frisbee victoriously and depositing it at her feet. He looked up at her with his adorable corgi grin. She bent to pet him. “Good hunting, Chonk. You're such a good boy."

  Lanced jogged to her side too. "How as the hike with Annie?"

  Lainey hesitated. Should she tell him that Annie knew the truth? "It was nice," she said. "The waterfall is breathtaking."

  He smiled. "I've been wanting to see it. Would you be up for visiting it twice in one day? Or are you tired from the first hike?"

  Lainey laughed. "I'm a New Yorker. Do you know how much I walk every day? At least here, I don’t have to dodge tourists with selfie sticks."

  "Excellent! Think Chonk could join us?"

  Lainey nodded. "We may have to take a couple breaks for him, but he should be fine. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to bring some water, though."

  "I'll grab a couple bottles," Lance said, walking toward the RV.

  Lainey sat at the picnic table with Chonk at her feet. She scratched his side with her foot. "I think you've made a new friend, buddy."

  The door to the RV burst open and Lance came storming out. He shook a mangled ball of wire into the air. "Look! Do you see what he's done to my sunglasses?"

  That mess of wire had been a pair of sunglasses? She peered more closely and was able to make out one of the lenses, though half of it was missing. The other lens had disappeared entirely.

  “I’m sorry,” Lainey said.

  Lance shook his head. "You just had to bring a dog."

  "You like Chonk!"

  “I tolerate Chonk,” Lance corrected.

  She looked down at her dog. His head had swiveled toward Lance at the sound of his name, tail wagging, waiting to see if his new friend wanted to play. But Lance had only been tolerating him? It broke Lainey's heart. "I said I was sorry. I can’t believe you're so upset over a pair of sunglasses."

  "They were Tom Ford," Lance said, accentuating every word.

  Lainey rolled her eyes. "Designer sunglasses? You've got to be kidding."

  He glared at her. "Some people like nice things.

  "Some people understand that $5 sunglasses block out UV rays just as well.” She shook her head in disgust. "Some people. I can't believe you said that. Not only are you vain, but you're also a snob."

  Lance's nostrils flared. "I am not a snob! And I'm not vain."

  Lainey raised her eyebrows.

  "Okay," he conceded, "I may be a little vain, but it's just because I appreciate the value of things. I grew up poor, okay? So, yeah, I like to have nice things now that I can afford them."

  "At least now
I know why you'd lie to land a client."

  "You have no idea," he said, his voice rising.

  "Sure, I do. You just told me. You like to have nice things." Perhaps Lainey's first impression of Lance had been correct, after all. Maybe he really was just a shallow jerk.

  Lance felt like she'd slapped him. Is that really what she thought of him? That he was a materialistic snob who would lie just to get more stuff?

  But why shouldn't she think that? He had been upset about a pair of sunglasses. The sunglasses were nice, and yes, they were expensive, but that's not why he valued them so much. They had been a gift from a client after he'd made his first six-figure sale as a junior agent. He and the client had made a lot of money together in the years since.

  Why hadn't he just said that? He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He was terrible at explaining his feelings. That was one of the reasons he avoided relationships. He wanted to cross the distance between them and kiss her. But he had a feeling she'd bloody his nose if he tried.

  He looked to Chonk for help. But the corgi was gone. He spun in a circle, checking the campsite for the dog.

  "What are you doing?" Lainey demanded.

  "Lainey…where's Chonk?"

  She spun in a circle, too, scanning the area. The color drained from her face. She began to shake. "He was just here."

  “He can’t have gotten far. We'll find him. I promise."

  “Don’t pretend like you care," Lainey sobbed. "You simply tolerate him."

  Lance flinched at the sound of his own words being hurled at him. "I didn't mean that."

  “What if he gets hit by a car?" Her voice cracked.

  Near the hiking trail, something glinted in the sunlight. The frisbee. "Lainey, look! He must have taken off down the trail."

  Tears streaked her face. Each teardrop felt like acid eating away at Lance's heart. He grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the trail. "We'll find him, Lainey. Together."

  Lance expected Lainey to let go of his hand, but she didn't. She gripped it tightly, as if holding on for dear life. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as they rushed down the trail, trying to reassure her.