Selected Epigrams

by Martial

  1.16. The addressee of this poem is Avitus, usually assumed to be L. Stertinius Avitus (Howell, Commentary 144), who was consul in 92 CE and is mentioned in Martial’s preface to book 9 as wanting to place a bust of Martial in his library (Shackleton Bailey 2:233).

  1.17. This epigram is one of several in which Martial implies that he is being advised to practice law as a way to earn more money. His answer, that a field is splendid if it is tended by a farmer, is his self-deprecatory way of implying that he would not know how to do law, when really it didn’t appeal to him.

  1.19. Martial frequently alludes to people who have lost their teeth, some of whom buy false teeth to hide the loss. Aelia is presumably old, so this also is one of Martial’s many poems making fun of old women for being unattractive.

  1.20. Emperor Claudius reportedly died after eating mushrooms poisoned by his wife Agrippina. Boletus mushrooms were an expensive delicacy, so for the host to eat the entire serving in front of his guests would be rude (Howell, Commentary 151).

  1.23. Martial suggests that Cotta is looking for attractive sexual partners, not just dining companions, at the baths.

  1.24. Decianus, the addressee of this epigram, was a friend of Martial’s from Spain (Shackleton Bailey 3:351). M. Curius Dentatus and M. Furius Camillus were heroes of the early Roman Republic, the former ending the Samnite Wars and the latter fighting off an invasion of Gauls (Howell, Commentary 159–60). Martial is here satirizing a man whose show of stern virtue and disregard for his appearance is meant to conceal the fact that he allows himself to be sodomized (Shackleton Bailey 1:58n), behavior that was considered shameful and unmanly.

  1.27. The Greek proverb quoted means “I hate a fellow-drinker who remembers things” (Howell, Commentary 43).

  1.28. Because acerra means “incense-casket,” the name Acerra suits a person who reeks (Howell, Commentary 167).

  1.29. Fidentinus, whose name (from the word fidens, meaning “bold”) suggests shamelessness (Howell, Commentary 168), is advised to pay Martial off if he doesn’t wish to be exposed as a plagiarist.

  1.30. The joke here is that since Diaulus killed his patients, he is better qualified to be a mortician. Jokes about deadly doctors are common in Martial.

  1.32. Although it is possible that Martial is just pretending not to know the reason for his dislike (so as not to name a shocking cause), it seems more likely that the poem is concerned with instinctive aversion for which there is no obvious cause.

  1.33. Women were expected to mourn demonstratively for their dead relations. Gellia is exposed as a hypocrite because she weeps only in public.

  1.34. As Howell points out, the name Lesbia is clearly borrowed from Catullus and is usually used in erotic contexts by Martial. Summemmi could refer to a brothel owner, the name of a brothel, or its location. Chione is a name Martial often uses for a prostitute, and he here implies that the lowest order of whores service their customers in tombs (Howell, Commentary 179–81).

  1.37. The ridiculous luxury of using a golden chamber pot is emphasized by saving the obscenity cacas (you shit) for the end of the epigram.

  1.38. Fidentinus, the plagiarist of 1.29, reappears in this epigram, in which he has garbled Martial’s poems so badly in reciting them that Martial denies any part in them.

  1.40. Martial’s 1.39 had lavishly praised his friend Decianus. Martial imagines his reader reacting negatively to that praise.

  1.46. Shackleton Bailey changes the gender of the name from Hedyle (a masculine name) in the manuscripts to Hedyli (a feminine name), arguing that catamites were generally boy slaves and wouldn’t “claim urgent business elsewhere” (1:73n). But prostitutes could be male or female, so the masculine name can fit the context.

  1.47. The doctor of 1.30 reappears here, and the joke is similar.

  1.54. The Fuscus addressed here may be the rich lawyer of that name whom Martial addresses in 7.28 (Howell, Commentary 235).

  1.57. Flaccus, the addressee of this poem, appears to have been a close friend of Martial’s and is addressed twenty-one times in his epigrams (Howell, Commentary 242).

  1.58. Phoebus may have earned his money by marrying a wealthy wife, though payment for other sexual activity is not ruled out.

  1.59. The dole (sportula) was the amount patrons gave to their clients in lieu of a small basket of food; the amount (one hundred quadrantes, or about twenty-five sesterces) would not have gone far in a luxury resort such as Baiae (Shackleton Bailey 1:85n). Located in the volcanic region near Naples, Baiae had hot springs of sulfurous water that was reputed to be curative (Howell, Commentary 245). The baths of Lupus and Gryllus were presumably a small, ill-lit private establishment in Rome (247).

  1.62. The fashionable resort of Baiae, known for its luxurious baths, sulfur-laden waters, and nearby lakes, was also famous for the sybaritic and loose behavior of the Romans who visited it (Howell, Commentary 245–46). Martial often refers to Sabine women as stern exemplars of morality. In Homer’s Odyssey, Penelope was the epitome of what a faithful wife should be, whereas Helen started the Trojan war by abandoning her husband Menelaus to run off with handsome young Paris.

  1.63. The name Celer, which means “hasty,” may have been chosen to suggest the impatience of the addressee to read his own verse.

  1.64. By praising herself, Fabulla makes her other assets less attractive.

  1.71. The number of drafts swallowed is equal to the number of letters in the name of each girl. Each draft (cyathus in Latin) is about a twelfth of a pint (Shackleton Bailey 1:95n), so he has consumed about a quart of Falernian (a highquality wine) by the end of the poem and is ready to sleep. Romans often drank to the health of their beloved (Howell, Commentary 272), but the number of girls mentioned and the fact that none will come to the speaker is meant to be funny. Martial regularly jokes about being turned down by prostitutes.

  1.72. Fidentinus is again mentioned as a plagiarist (as in 1.29 and 1.38). He is compared to an old woman who buys false teeth carved of ivory or bone, and to a dark-skinned woman who uses powdered white lead to look fairer. Martial implies that in the future Fidentinus will buy a wig once he becomes bald.

  1.73. The implied irony is that the wife of Caecilianus is not very goodlooking, but that his jealous protection of her backfires because it is taken as a challenge by the local seducers.

  1.74. Martial implies that by marrying the man with whom she formerly committed adultery, Paula confirms the affair that she previously could deny.

  1.77. The pallor of Charinus is presented as a mystery, since each of the possible causes (disease, heavy drinking, bad digestion, little sun) is ruled out. It is even implied that he is trying to conceal the pallor by getting a tan and using rouge. But the last line provides the solution to the riddle. Romans believed that performing cunnilingus was not only shameful but caused an unhealthy pallor, so the “and yet” of the last line is ironic (Howell, Commentary 280–81).

  1.83. Martial suggests that licking Manneia’s mouth is as bad as eating shit because she performs oral sex (Howell, Commentary 287). Martial regularly implies that oral sex makes the mouth of the one who performs it smelly or unclean.

  1.84. Pater familiae means “head (literally, father) of the household,” but familia could also mean the slaves of the household, so the word is a pun (Shackleton Bailey 1:104n). Though the sons of a knight would normally be knights (equites) themselves, because they are born of slave mothers, they are vernae (home-born slaves) (Howell, Commentary 288).

  1.89. Most people would speak praise of Caesar loudly in order to sound loyal, but Cinna is so accustomed to whispering that he can’t speak up even when it might do him good (Howell, Commentary 297).

  1.90. Though Bassa seems to be chaste because she avoids men, she is revealed to be a lesbian with an outsized clitoris which enables her to imitate intercourse (Shackleton Bailey 1:109n). Lucretia was a chaste, noble Roman wife who committed suicide to salvage her honor after she was raped by Sextus Tarquinius. The Theban riddle mentione
d is the one that the Sphinx asked Oedipus: “What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?” The answer is “Man, who crawls as a baby, walks upright when mature, and needs a cane when old.” Bassa represents an equally baffling paradox.

  1.91. Martial tends to be satirical about critics of his verse who don’t publish their own, implying that their verse can’t be good if they are unwilling to have others see it.

  1.94. Howell suggests that Aegle, a name Martial uses elsewhere for a prostitute, had a bad voice when she was young, because of her sexual activity, which Romans thought affected the voice. At the time, her beauty compensated for it. When she was no longer attractive, her voice improved, but she turned to fellatio as a specialty and therefore could not be kissed (Howell, Commentary 304–5).

  1.95. Though lawyers might bring their clients to court or pay others to applaud their own speeches or to heckle their opponents, Aelius seems to be freelancing by interrupting lawyers in the hope of being paid to shut up (Howell, Commentary 305).

  1.102. Martial implies that the painter deliberately made Venus look bad to flatter Minerva, who had lost to Venus in the beauty contest judged by Paris. The addressee of this poem is Lycoris. Howell points out that her Greek name suggests that she is a prostitute, whose association with the goddess Venus would be obvious (Howell, Commentary 317).

  1.105. Howell states that the addressee, Quintus Ovidius, a friend and patron of Martial’s, owned a place near Martial’s Nomentan farm, and both would have produced wine from their own vineyards. Martial here jokes that if you keep Nomentan wine long enough, you can pass it off as a more illustrious vintage (Howell, Commentary 323–25).

  1.106. Howell argues that, though it was customary to drink wine mixed with water, Rufus is apparently adding an excessive amount of water to a very small amount of wine. Martial jokes that Rufus must be staying sober to better enjoy a night of sex with Naevia. When Rufus sighs and refuses to answer, Martial concludes that Rufus has been refused (making his selfdenial even odder) and urges him to get drunk quickly by drinking unmixed wine, a practice generally frowned on as excessive (Howell, Commentary 325–27).

  1.108. Martial’s home on the Quirinal hill overlooked the Campus of Vipsanius Agrippa to the west (Shackleton Bailey 1:123n). This poem is an apology for ducking the expected (and onerous) morning calls of a client at a patron’s house, though Martial expresses a willingness to show up for a meal later in the day. Meanwhile, he offers his book as a substitute for showing up in person in the mornings.

  1.110. Velox, which means “speedy,” is a suitable name for a man who can’t stand long epigrams.

  1.111. M. Aquilius Regulus was a lawyer and a patron of Martial’s (Shackleton Bailey 3:379). This poem would have accompanied a gift of this book and incense to his patron (1:127n).

  1.112. Martial hoped that Priscus would become his patron, but has been disappointed (Shackleton Bailey 1:127n).

  1.113. Under the cover of self-deprecating comments about his earlier poems and juvenilia, Martial advertises where they can be bought.

  1.117. Shackleton Bailey notes that Ad Pirum (At the Pear Tree) is the name of the apartment building in which Martial lives; Argiletum is a street of shops near the Forum Julium; and five denarii is the equivalent of twenty sesterces (1:131n). The edges of a papyrus scroll would be smoothed by being rubbed with pumice, and the parchment case of a deluxe copy would be stained purple (Howell, Commentary 351). Martial repeatedly makes fun of people too cheap to buy his book, who prefer to borrow a copy or ask Martial to give them one for free (as in 4.72).

  Book Two

  2.3. Martial observes that Sextus cannot be considered a debtor if he will never be able to pay off his loan.

  2.4. The terms “sister” and “brother” were often used as terms of affection and could be used toward a girlfriend or boyfriend (Williams 35). Both the intimacy of the terms and their blurring of the generational gap suggest an over-eroticized and possibly incestuous relationship between mother and son.

  2.5. Decianus was a friend of Martial’s from Emerita in Spain (Shackleton Bailey 3:351), and is also addressed in 1.24.Though Decianus appears to be a patron as well, the implied criticism of him for turning a friend away is offset by Martial’s stated eagerness to see his friend and willingness to go long distances to do so (Williams 37).

  2.10. Romans often greeted friends or acquaintances with a kiss. Martial turns the tables on someone who kisses him in a perfunctory or condescending way by implying that the kisses aren’t wanted anyway. As is usual in Martial, to suggest that someone’s mouth is repellent implies that the person performs oral sex (Williams 55).

  2.12. In this epigram, Martial implies that Postumus tries to use perfume to disguise the smelly mouth he gets from performing oral sex.

  2.13. Martial jokes that it would be cheaper to pay off a debt than to go to court about the matter and have to pay a rapacious lawyer and bribe the judge.

  2.15. It was customary to pass cups for a toast. The fact that Hormus won’t share his could be considered arrogant, but Martial suggests that Hormus is doing people a favor because his mouth is disgusting, presumably from performing oral sex (Williams 76).

  2.17. Subura was an area of Rome known for prostitution; according to Shackleton Bailey, the fact that the woman is sitting suggests that she is a prostitute. The verb tondere means both “to clip” and “to rob,” and radere means “to shave” but can also have the meaning of “to fleece someone” (1:147n).

  2.19. Martial is insulting the meager dinners that Zoilus provides to his guests. Williams notes that Aricia, sixteen miles outside of Rome on the Appian Way, was a place that beggars congregated. Roman diners reclined on couches while eating, but the beggars, of course, would be lying on the ground (90–91).

  2.20. Martial is playing on the idea that once you buy something, you can call it yours. As Williams notes, there was no copyright on creative works, so plagiarism would have been easy (91). Martial defends his work by satirizing the plagiarists.

  2.21. The addressee of this poem is Postumus (presumably the same one mentioned in 2.10 and 2.12). The implied point again is that Martial would prefer to avoid the kisses of a man who performs oral sex.

  2.22. The apostrophe to Phoebus and the Muses uses inflated language for humorous effect. This poem alludes to 2.10 and implies that Martial’s fame from his poetry is what is bringing him unwanted attentions from Postumus.

  2.23. Martial plays along with readers’ assumptions that the name Postumus is a pseudonym for a real person, but refuses to reveal his identity for fear of being kissed even more often in revenge.

  2.25. Martial frequently uses logic to twist someone’s refusal of his request into an acceptance (Williams 102).

  2.26. Bithynicus is wooing Naevia, who pretends to be consumptive in order to lead him on. She presumably has money, and he wants to marry her in the hope that she will die soon. Another possible explanation advanced by Williams is that he is being attentive to her in the hope of getting a legacy from her (104).

  2.27. Selius earns his dinner by loudly praising the performance of his patron in court or at a poetry reading. It was common practice for advocates to bring their clients into the courtroom to provide vocal support for the patrons’ arguments, in the hope of swaying the decision.

  2.28. Williams notes that the other two options that Martial hasn’t mentioned are that Sextillus performs fellatio or cunnilingus. What starts out looking like a defense of Sextillus turns into a riddle whose solution is even more shameful than the initial accusation. Giving someone the middle finger, then as now, was an aggressive sexual gesture, which turns the accusation back on the accuser (109–10).

  2.30. Gaius, a rich friend of longstanding who increases his wealth by lending money, is asked to lend Martial an amount of money that Martial protests is small for someone like Gaius. Instead of lending the money, he tells Martial to earn more by becoming a lawyer (as Titus had advised Martia
l in 1.17). As in the earlier epigram, Martial has no interest in a career as an advocate.

  2.31. Literally, Martial is saying “nothing can surpass it,” which wouldn’t be very funny if it just means that she is very good, so I am taking it to mean that she does all that is humanly possible.

  2.33. Philaenis is apparently an old woman who is bald, red-faced, and one-eyed. At first Martial just seems to be making fun of her for being ugly, but the joke turns out to be that those characteristics are shared by a penis, and that kissing her would be the equivalent of performing fellatio (Williams 128–29).

  2.38. Martial often refers to his farm in Nomentum, some twenty kilometers northeast of Rome (Williams 142). Though in other poems he complains that its yield is modest, in this one he puts down the nosy Linus by retorting that the farm at least provides an escape from him.

  2.39. Roman law required prostitutes and convicted adulteresses to wear togas (Shackleton Bailey 1:161n). The adulteress in this poem is notorious, but not convicted.

  2.42. Martial implies that the head of Zoilus is dirtier than his ass because he performs oral sex (Williams 155).

  2.49. Telesina is an adulteress, so Martial at first rejects her as a potential wife. However, she has sex with boys. Williams points out that Roman tradition allowed a man who discovered his wife having sex with a boy to bugger the boy as punishment, so a wife who sleeps with boys would bring many opportunities for sex with boys. Martial is poking fun at himself by implying that he would be willing to tolerate adultery for that reason (176).

  2.50. Martial implies that Lesbia’s habit of drinking water (instead of wine) is appropriate, since she performs fellatio and therefore needs to wash her mouth out. As usual, Martial presents oral sex as being unclean (Williams 177).

  2.51. Hyllus is down to his last denarius, but would rather spend it on being sodomized than on eating. It was considered shameful for a man to be sodomized, and Hyllus is also being satirized for being poor, being sexually voracious, and having to pay to be sodomized (Williams 179).