Selected Epigrams

by Martial

  2.52. Williams notes that Dasius, the owner or manager of the baths, charges three times the usual entrance fee to Spatale, making her pay separately for each of her breasts. The joke is aimed both at the enterprisingly venal Dasius and at Spatale, who by paying acknowledges that the charge is appropriate (181–83).

  2.53. Though one might assume at first that Maximus is a slave, his drinking wine and using prostitutes shows that he is not; instead, he feels burdened by his duties as a client, which also provide him with luxuries he cannot otherwise afford. Williams notes that Martial repeatedly uses the wine of Veii as an example of bad wine drunk by the poor (185) and that two asses (bronze coins of low value) was a low price for an ordinary prostitute (185). Kings of Parthia, an enemy country in the region that now includes Iran (186), would be associated with wealth and luxury, like other eastern monarchs.

  2.54. The epigram suggests that the wife of Linus knows that he likes to be sodomized and that that is why she sets a eunuch (who could not do it) to watch him. Martial pretends to sympathize with Linus for having such a nosy and malicious wife, who treats her husband as if he were a wife by setting a eunuch to guard him (Williams 187).

  2.55. Williams observes that Sextus wants flattery and attention from Martial as a client, rather than the affection of a friend, which Martial wants to give him. By emphasizing his superior status, Sextus can demand the flattery, but he loses the friendship (189).

  2.56. This poem gives an interesting twist to the usual charge of corruption among provincial Roman officials. Williams observes that Gallus, a Roman official in Libya, has brought his wife along, though it was more customary to leave wives behind when stationed abroad. She is charged with greed, which would normally imply accepting bribes. Martial denies that she takes anything, but insists instead that she gives—implying sexual favors (191). Since the word gallus could mean a eunuch priest of Cybele (Williams 166), the husband’s name in this epigram may also suggest that his wife is turning to foreign lovers because her husband cannot satisfy her.

  2.58. Martial suggests that Zoilus bought his toga with borrowed money that has not been repaid (Sullivan 244). A new toga would have a fleecy nap, which would be worn off in an old one (Williams 197).

  2.59. Shackleton Bailey notes that Domitian had built a little banqueting hall called Mica Aureus (“The Golden Crumb”) overlooking the Mausoleum of Augustus, in which the Caesars had been buried. Augustus was deified after his death, hence the irony that even a god can die (1:175n). Nard was a perfume made from spikenard and often applied to the hair at banquets, when rose garlands would also be worn (Williams 200). The poem exhorts readers to make the most of physical pleasures because life is short.

  2.60. Williams notes that this poem refers to a recent law of Domitian’s prohibiting castration. Hyllus, who is committing adultery with a tribune’s wife, expects, if he is caught, to receive the punishment reserved for boys breaking a law: to be sodomized (201–2). When he protests that castration is against the law, Martial points out that Hyllus too is breaking a law and therefore shouldn’t expect legal protection.

  2.61. Williams notes that the unnamed target of this poem performed fellatio while still young; now that he is so repulsive that he is scorned even by paupers’ undertakers and public executioners (professions that were considered unclean), he spitefully uses his tongue to slander everyone. Martial raises the usual assumption that performing oral sex is a filthy act, then turns it around by saying that slandering others is even filthier; unlike the epigram’s target, Martial does not name names in his attacks, or the names he gives are pseudonyms (203–5).

  2.62. Williams points out that Labienus is going to extremes by depilating his chest, arms, legs and genitals, though his professed reason is to please his mistress. That he also depilates his buttocks, however, suggests that he likes to be buggered, which was considered a shameful taste in a man. Though his claims about the mistress may be intentional misdirection, many men of the time were bisexual. It was only being penetrated during sex that was considered effeminate (207–8).

  2.63. Milichus, though he has only one hundred thousand sesterces left, has spent them all to buy a female slave as a sex partner. Williams states that such a sum was extremely high, but not unheard of for a desirable slave. Martial assumes that love would be the only explanation for such extravagance, but Milichus denies that he loves her, which makes his behavior even more spendthrift (209).

  2.65. This poem contains a twofold joke. First, Martial implies that Saleianus’ show of mourning for the death of his rich wife is hypocritical, which Martial subtly satirizes with his melodramatic exclamations about the death. Then, Martial’s last line appears to be condoling with the grieving husband while actually expressing regret at his good fortune.

  2.66. Lalage loses her temper when one ringlet of an elaborate hairdo is out of place, so she beats the offending slave girl who has done her hair, using the polished bronze mirror in which she has seen the offending curl. Martial suggests that Lalage deserves to be burned with a curling iron (called a salamander because, like the mythical creature of that name, it could withstand the fire) or have her head shaved so that her appearance would be as ugly as her behavior.

  2.67. Because Postumus mindlessly repeats the standard greeting (“How are you doing?”), no matter how often in an hour he meets Martial, Martial concludes that Postumus has nothing to do himself.

  2.68. Williams notes that, as a former client of Olus, Martial used to address him as “lord” and “patron,” but now declares his independence by calling Olus by name. The pilleum was a felt cap worn by freed slaves. Martial will give up the dole from his patron, even if it means living in poverty (220–21).

  2.70. Martial satirizes Cotilus for his presumed fastidiousness about bathing in water that has washed penises (an image sexualized by saying that the water has been forced to suck penises), pointing out that Cotilus himself can’t bathe without washing his penis before his head (Williams 225).

  2.71. Martial pretends to believe that Caecilianus is reading epigrams by Catullus and Marsus (famous masters of the form) to make Martial’s epigrams look better by comparison, though clearly Caecilianus is actually trying to make Martial’s poems look bad. By suggesting that Caecilianus read his own poems instead, Martial implies that they are so bad that they would really make Martial’s look better.

  2.73. This epigram appears as a single line in the manuscript, but a preceding line is often supplied by editors to fill out the implied meaning of the poem (Williams 231). Lyris claims that she cannot tell what she is doing when she is drunk, but Martial implies that she might be lying to save face. He informs her that she performs fellatio when drunk—just as she does when sober.

  2.76. Legacy-seekers were often disappointed when they gave gifts to wealthy people in the hope of a postmortem bonanza. Here Martial mockingly claims to be shocked at the perfidy of Marius for leaving a legacy to someone who never gave him anything (Shackleton Bailey 1:188n).

  2.78. The addressee of this poem, Caecilianus, is being accused of stinginess for not heating his warm bath properly for his guests (Shackleton Bailey 1:189n).

  2.79. Martial implies that Nasica has been deliberately inviting Martial to dinner on occasions that he knows Martial is entertaining and can’t come. In retaliation, Martial declines a dinner invitation from Nasica by saying he has a pressing engagement—to dine at home (Shackleton Bailey 1:190n).

  2.80. The word hostem (foes) suggests an enemy army, so Fannius is presumably running from battle, not from the law (Shackleton Bailey 1:191n).

  2.83. Williams notes that cutting off the nose and ears of an adulterer caught in the act was a well-known punishment, but, as Martial points out, it does not prevent the adulterer from continuing to have sex with the wife. The epigram adds an unexpected, lurid twist by suggesting that the sex might include fellatio, a further shame to the husband (253–54).

  2.87. Sextus claims to have young beauties on fire with love for hi
m, yet he has the puffy face of a man holding his breath underwater. Martial implies that Sextus is lying.

  2.88. Mamercus, a would-be poet, recites none of his poems, the usual way to establish a reputation as a poet (Williams 266). Martial satirically suggests that Mamercus can keep claiming to be a poet, so long as he recites nothing. Either the poems would definitively prove that he is no poet, or they are so bad that Martial would rather hear the boasts than the poems.

  2.89. Williams notes that the practice of citing precedents was common in rhetoric, and here Martial borrows it under the pretense of excusing a series of bad habits of Gaurus. But when he comes to fellatio, he cannot recall any famous possessors of that habit (267).

  2.92. Martial likes to boast that the emperor has accorded him the same rights that a father of three children had. Here he claims that he will say farewell to his wife, since to have a wife might make the emperor’s gift unnecessary. As Williams notes, most scholars doubt that Martial was ever married, so the “wife” he addresses is likely just a potential wife. In some poems Martial adopts the persona of a married man for comic purposes (279–80).

  2.93. M. Aquilius Regulus, an advocate and patron of Martial’s (Shackleton Bailey 3:379), had apparently not been given book 1, possibly because Martial has no copies left to give him (1:199n). Williams suggests that the “modesty” of book 1 was either that it was not worthy to be presented or that it didn’t call itself “Book I,” which would imply that others would follow (281–82). Martial jokingly proposes that the title can be changed by dropping one I from the Roman numeral II.

  Book Three

  3.3. The poem appears to be set at a spa, and the goddess mentioned is probably the nymph of the spring. Though people typically bathed naked, the unnamed addressee is advised to wear her tunic to hide her ugly body. The salve on her face was probably intended, like a modern mudpack, to improve the complexion.

  3.6. It was customary for young men to dedicate the first shaving of their beards to a god, to mark their entrance into manhood (Shackleton Bailey 1:205n). Marcellinus was a soldier and a friend of Martial’s (3:366).

  3.8. The name Thais is associated with prostitutes, including, famously, a courtesan of Alexander the Great. Having one eye is among the physical disabilities that Martial mocks most often.

  3.9. Although there was a famous poet named Cinna, a friend of Catullus, the Cinna in this poem has published nothing and, according to Martial, never will.

  3.12. Catullus, in his poem 13, invites his friend Fabullus to dinner but warns him to bring the food and wine himself, offering to provide in return some of the perfume of his beloved Lesbia. Martial in this poem jokes that offering perfume and no dinner is suitable for a corpse, which would be anointed to cover the smell of decomposition.

  3.14. The dole (sportula) was originally a basket of food given by patrons to their clients; later, small amounts of money (about twenty-five sesterces) would be given instead (Shackleton Bailey 1:85n). The dole was apparently abolished by law around the time this book was written, but seems to have been reinstated later (1:206n). The Mulvian Bridge was outside the Porta Flaminia, on the north side of Rome (1:211n).

  3.15. This poem puns on two meanings of “credit”: personal trust and financial lending (Shackleton Bailey 1:211n).

  3.17. Martial suggests that the mouth of Sabidius is unclean from performing oral sex, and that his blowing on the tart therefore pollutes it so that no one else will eat it.

  3.18. Recitation of poems at dinners was a form of entertainment and a way that Romans made a name for themselves as poets. Readers may suspect that the excuse of Maximus is false modesty and that Martial calls his bluff or that Martial expects a poor reading and therefore is looking for a way to avoid it.

  3.22. M. Gavius Apicius, who lived in the time of Augustus and Tiberius, was famous for his extravagance in pursuit of fine dining (Shackleton Bailey 3:340).

  3.26. Murrine was an expensive stone, possibly fluorspar, used to make ornamental carved cups and vessels (Shackleton Bailey 1:221n).

  3.27. Martial suggests that Gallus is snubbing him by not inviting him back after repeated dinner invitations from Martial. Martial turns the joke on himself as well, implying he’s a fool to let Gallus take advantage of him.

  3.28. Martial suggests that Nestor has either bad breath or an unclean mouth from performing oral sex.

  3.32. Hecuba was turned into a bitch by rage after losing her children. Niobe was turned to stone from grief after losing hers. Martial often jokes about the temptation to make money by marrying a rich old woman, but he always presents the option as unappealing; there is no evidence that he ever married.

  3.33. There is more prestige to having freeborn sexual partners, but Martial implies that looks trump status every time.

  3.34. Chione, a Greek name, suggests that the addressee is likely to be a prostitute. Fair skin was considered more desirable than dark skin, a fact that Martial alludes to often.

  3.37. This poem implies that wealthy patrons use pretended offenses as excuses not to be generous with their gifts. As a satirist, Martial may have had patrons who thought his attacks were aimed at them, though he insisted that he never targeted individuals.

  3.39. Lycoris, a Greek name, often is used by Martial for a prostitute; Ganymede was a Trojan prince so handsome that he was abducted by Jove to be his cupbearer and catamite. Martial’s humor frequently targets physical disabilities. Faustinus was a wealthy friend whom Martial addresses or refers to nineteen times in his poems (Howell, Commentary 161).

  3.41. Martial often jokes about being unable to repay the loans he gets from patrons. Here, because he does pay the loan back, he jokes that he is the one doing his patron a favor.

  3.43. Proserpina is the Roman goddess of the dead, who is not fooled about the true age of Laetinus. The mask described is the kind used by actors, worn with a wig to cover the entire head.

  3.45. Thyestes was tricked into eating his own sons by his brother Atreus, who chopped them up, cooked them, and served them to their father. Phoebus Apollo, the sun god, was so appalled at the sight that he reversed his course (Shackleton Bailey 3:342). Ligurinus tries to attract willing listeners by inviting them to a lavish dinner of delicacies: expensive fish, oysters, and mushrooms. But the good food cannot compensate for his dreadful poetry.

  3.48. Shackleton Bailey notes that a “pauper’s cell” was a small, meagerly furnished room in a rich man’s house, a novel contrast to the usual luxury of the place. Though Olus has not literally become a pauper, he has foolishly transformed his valuable land into something worthless (1:235n).

  3.49. Martial often mentions Veientan wine as a bad wine and Massic as an excellent one. The host is being satirized for serving his guests wine much worse than he himself is drinking.

  3.51. Martial implies that Galla must have some physical flaws she is trying to hide by not bathing with him (Shackleton Bailey 1:237n).

  3.53. Chloe’s Greek name suggests that she is a prostitute.

  3.54. Galla is an expensive prostitute. Martial asks her to refuse him so that he will not have to admit that he cannot afford her.

  3.55. Cosmus is mentioned in many of Martial’s epigrams as a perfumer (Shackleton Bailey 3:350). Martial implies that Gellia may use perfume not just to be fashionable, but to cover up offensive body odor.

  3.57. Ravenna was suffering from such a drought that Martial jokes that innkeepers would cheat their customers not by overwatering the wine, as usual, but by serving the wine neat. Romans did not usually drink wine that had not been diluted with water.

  3.61. Martial puns on two meanings of “denying nothing”: “giving everything” and “denying even the request for nothing.” Cinna is labeled improbus (i.e., dishonest) for pretending that his requests are minimal when they are not.

  3.64. This poem, addressed to Martial’s friend Cassianus, is a compliment to another friend, Canius Rufus of Gades (in Spain), an author mentioned in several of Martial’s epigrams (Shack
leton Bailey 3:346). The sirens, part bird, part woman, were deadly dangers that Ulysses (Odysseus) managed to escape by putting wax in his men’s ears and having them tie him to the mast of his ship as he sailed past. Martial is implying that Canius is even more riveting as a storyteller than the Sirens were as singers.

  3.65. Diadumenus, the addressee here and in 5.46 and 6.34, appears to be a boy slave of Martial’s (Shackleton Bailey 3:352).

  3.68. Martial here signals a switch to more obscene epigrams in the latter half of the book, poking fun at Roman matrons whose pose of modesty, he suggests, covers a fascination with the obscene material in which they are supposed to have no interest. According to Shackleton Bailey, there is no record elsewhere of the ceremony of Venus mentioned in the poem (1:252n). The object that Venus welcomes in the rite is clearly a representation of a penis; statues of Priapus, who is portrayed with an oversized penis, were placed in gardens to protect them from thieves. Terpsichore, the Muse of dancing, here symbolizes the dancing girls and prostitutes that would have entertained men at drinking parties.

  3.69. While purporting to praise the innocuous poems of Cosconius, Martial makes his own sound much more appealing. Martial often feels the need to defend his poems from attacks on their obscenity. Here his argument is that he is suiting his language to his intended audience.

  3.70. The addressee of this poem is Scaevinus, whose name comes from scaevus, a Latin word meaning “perverse.”

  3.71. Naevolus is accused of enjoying being buggered, which was considered shameful.

  3.72. Martial implies that Saufeia’s false modesty either is a cover for deformity or is foolish because it leads him to that assumption as the only possible explanation for her contradictory behavior.

  3.73. This poem poses a riddle: if Phoebus is sleeping with well-hung boys, but is impotent himself, one might assume that he enjoys being buggered, but rumor denies that. What other alternative is there? Only the even more disreputable one that he enjoys performing fellatio.