Collard Greens and Catfishing
Page 25
Pour that deliciousness over a tall glass of ice, take it to the front porch, and sip your worries away!
Excerpt from Deviled Eggs & Deception
Chapter One
Summer Haven’s front doorbell rang in rapid-fire succession, making Sera freeze mid-stretch into a janu sirsasana pose on the kitchen floor. She glanced over at Maggie and Abby Ruth sitting at the farm table with Sheriff Teague Castro. “Were we expecting anyone?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” Maggie straightened her dark ponytail and tucked her appliquéd shirt into her pants.
“So help me.” Abby Ruth’s tone was as sharp as the creases on her trademark slim jeans. “If it’s Angelina Broussard coming around to stir up more trouble, I’m gonna wring that woman’s neck.”
Teague’s voice dry, he said, “Aunt Bibi, it’s not smart to plan a murder right in front of the sheriff.”
“No offense,” she said. “But you’re like family, and you know what a pain that woman is. Don’t you think I could get off on an insanity charge?”
Teague shook his head, obviously not daring to step into that conversation, especially not with the mother of his dream girl.
Sera hopped to her feet. “I’ll get it.” To forestall violence against the woman who had final say over Summer Haven remaining on the historic register, Sera raced for the foyer, her bare feet slapping against the wooden floor. She flung open the door and there stood Hollis Dooley with that stinky hound dog of his.
The man was a hundred and sixteen if he was a day. Bundled up in a coat that made him look like a cross between a Ninja Turtle and the Michelin Man, Hollis leaned on his silver walker. Goodness, it wasn’t that cold outside. Here at the end of March, the shrubs had already taken the hint that spring was around the corner, displaying buds and tender greens so welcome after the cold of winter. Still, his false teeth were chattering.
“Hi, Hollis.” Sera waited for him to say something, but he just stood there staring at her. Could he be lost? “What are you doing here? They didn’t miss your Meals on Wheels delivery again, did they?” She had her suspicions he was either sleeping through his doorbell or simply couldn’t hear it anymore.
“No. Somethin’ else altogether,” he said.
She leaned out the front door and looked around. No sign of a car anywhere. “Did you walk?”
Hollis rubbed his gloved hands together. “It’s cold as a witch’s tit out here. You gonna invite me in or not?” He nudged her foot with his walker, jostling his old bloodhound, Ritter, in the process. Poor Ritter wasn’t getting along any faster than his master. Sometimes it was hard to tell who was walking who.
“Of course.” Sera stepped back and opened the door wide enough for him to navigate.
But why was Hollis Dooley paying them a visit? He hadn’t been out to Summer Haven since the historic preservation committee’s inspection, and even then he hadn’t been much help, mainly sitting in the parlor drinking iced tea while Angelina checked the place from top to bottom, her eagle eyes missing nothing.
“You got a fire going? Thinking I could get warmed up was the only thing keeping me walking up that endless driveway.” Hollis hobbled in with a thump, thump, thump.
Sera took Ritter’s leash and patted the old boy on the head. “Why in the world are you walking?”
“My damned kids said it was too dangerous for me to be driving my car. They took the keys to my Bonneville. 1967. They don’t make ’em like that no more. Now I gotta catch that damned give-a-senior-a-ride bus to get to my job. Pain in the ass is what it is.” His face went slack for a moment. Then he said, “What about that fire?”
“No fire today, but we’re all back in the kitchen where it’s nice and toasty. I’ve been baking all morning. Whole wheat prune-bran muffins.”
His face scrunched up. “Sounds like something my colon sure don’t need. You got coffee?” He aimed his walker toward the kitchen as if he’d been there a hundred times. Maybe he had.
Sera didn’t know much about who’d been a frequent visitor at Summer Haven before she landed here in Georgia and became roommates with Maggie and Abby Ruth. Unfortunately, Lillian Summer Fairview, the woman who owned this stately old money pit, wasn’t in residence. Sera and the others had to keep Lil’s true whereabouts on the down-low because her current address was Walter Stiles Federal Prison Camp. Not something Lil wanted the good people of Summer Shoals to know.
“Coffee? That I can do.” Sera matched her steps to Hollis’ and together, they slowly made their way toward the back of the house. “It’s a pleasure to have you visit.”
“No pleasure,” he grumbled. “I need some help. There’s problems. Lots of problems.”
“Are you watching the news again?” she asked. “You shouldn’t. It’s a real downer. Focus on the positive, Hollis. That’s what I always say.”
“Well, that’s a little hard to do when people are up to no good right in your own backyard. Don’t need the news to remind me of that.”
“Your own backyard?” Sera stood back to let him shuffle into the kitchen. “What’s going on?”
When Hollis saw Teague sitting at the farm table with Abby Ruth and Maggie, he stopped in his tracks. The old guy pierced Sera with an accusing glare. “You didn’t tell me you had company.”
You didn’t ask. Just kind of barged right in. “The more the merrier.” She aimed a cheery smile in his direction, then headed for the coffeemaker. “Come on in. Sit and tell us about all these problems.”
Hollis didn’t budge, just mumbled, “I’ll come back another time. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Then you should’ve called before you showed up,” Abby Ruth said under her breath.
The old man let out a sigh. “Miss Sera, could I talk to you for a moment in private?” He lifted the walker and pivoted, bumping the kitchen counter and jostling one of Lil’s precious Depression era vases. Sera jumped to catch it before it toppled to the floor. The collective inhale from the other three people in the room carried enough force to nearly suck Hollis back into the kitchen. But he clomped out the way he’d come in.
“Maybe he’s going to ask you on a date,” Abby Ruth said with an exaggerated wink.
“Real funny,” Sera whispered. “Stop it.” She slapped her thigh and Ritter moseyed alongside her.
In the hallway, Hollis fidgeted with his jacket zipper. Zip. Halfway up. Zup. Halfway down. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come, but there’s something rotten up at the landfill.”
Probably banana peels and moldy bread, as Hollis would well know since he worked there a few times each week, but Sera just cocked her head and listened to Hollis.
“But if I tell the sheriff I noticed trash is missing, he’ll think I’m losing my mental faculties.”
“Maybe more people are finally recycling around here.” About time. Smalls towns in Georgia certainly lagged behind California in their eco-friendliness. “That’s a good thing, Hollis. It shouldn’t worry you.”
“No. It’s not like that. You know we have a spot for the recyclables. Didn’t need it before you happened into town. But I know my trash, and someone’s messing with it.”
Strange that Hollis would be so possessive of garbage, but Sera couldn’t argue with a man who was dedicated to his work. Then again, if someone was making an effort to reuse other people’s castoffs, he should be applauded. But she couldn’t brush off Hollis’ concerns. “What do you think they’re doing with the trash? And really, does it matter?”
He snatched the leash from Sera’s hand. “I shouldn’t have come. You don’t understand.”
She placed a hand on his arm, thin and frail even under his puffy coat. “Tell me how I can help.”
“I know you and your friends have tracked down a couple of no-good criminal types lately.”
“And you want us to find the person responsible for your missing trash?”
His chin angled up, and his dentures clacked together. “Stealing is stealing. Plus, they cut the fence, and that’s de
struction of public property. If someone’s going to the trouble to break into the dump and steal, don’t you think that means something is wrong?”
Hmm. Missing trash was one thing, but a damaged fence seemed more serious. As she considered the possibility of taking on another investigation, excitement buzzed under her skin. “I guess you have a point. But we’re not true detectives, you know.”
“You ever heard of citizen’s arrest? It’s your neighborly duty to look into this. We don’t catch this yahoo, these thefts could lead to more dangerous stuff. I’ve seen those Criminal Minds shows. I think they call it escalation. Yeah, today they’ll rip off Copenhagen cans and tomorrow it’ll be cars. Then armed robbery!”
“I can’t speak for Maggie and Abby Ruth…” But why couldn’t she? They’d all agreed these cases made them feel more alive than ever. Besides, she didn’t know how much longer she’d be at Summer Haven. At some point, she needed to turn around and face her real life. The life no one in this town knew a thing about.
But before then, she desperately wanted one last escapade with the two women who’d become her best friends in the world. “Why us?”
“Because y’all can be what they call covert. I don’t need neither the sheriff or my kids catching wind of all this.”
“But—”
“But nothin’. The sheriff would think I was making a mountain outta a mold hill—” he chuckled at his own joke, “—and my kids are looking for any reason to throw my keister in the old folks’ home. And I sure as hell ain’t ready to play canasta and eat applesauce all damned day. Besides, they don’t ’low no pets. Where would poor ol’ Ritter go? I can pay cash money.” His droopy eyes pleaded with her. How could she say no?
But with Hollis on Social Security and Meals on Wheels, he sure couldn’t afford to pay them much. And they were always strapped for funds to keep up with Summer Haven’s maintenance. Then again, investigating this for Hollis wasn’t really about the money. It was about the adventure. “We’ll do it.”
His face softened, not at all like the old curmudgeon she’d come to know. “Thank you, Sera. I knew you’d be the one to understand.” He took an envelope from his jacket pocket and placed it in her hand. A surprisingly thick envelope.
“What’s this?”
“Payment in advance.”
Sera slid her finger under the flap, but Hollis put his gnarled hand over hers.
“When you see what’s inside, you’ll see I’m serious as a four-alarm fire about all this.” He held a finger to his lips. “Don’t forget, not a peep to anyone. I don’t need the sheriff or my meddling kids up in my bin’ness.”
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PURCHASE DEVILED EGGS AND DECEPTION
Books in the Series
IN FOR A PENNY
COLLARD GREENS AND CATFISHING
DEVILED EGGS AND DECEPTION
FRIED PICKLES AND A FUNERAL
WEDDING MINTS AND WITNESSES
Jenny & Teague Novellas
CHRISTMAS COOKIES AND A CONFESSION
SWEET TEA AND SECOND CHANCES
Also by Kelsey Browning
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* * *
PROPHECY OF LOVE SERIES
Sexy contemporary romance
Stay With Me
Hard to Love
* * *
TEXAS NIGHTS SERIES
Sexy contemporary romance
Personal Assets
Running the Red Light
Problems in Paradise
Designed for Love
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SEASONED SOUTHERN SLEUTHS
MYSTERY SERIES w/NANCY NAIGLE
Southern cozy mysteries
In For a Penny
Collard Greens and Catfishing
Deviled Eggs and Deception
Fried Pickles and a Funeral
Wedding Mints and Witnesses
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JENNY & TEAGUE NOVELLAS
Contemporary romance with a dab of mystery
Christmas Cookies and a Confession
Sweet Tea and Second Chances
* * *
STEELE RIDGE SERIES
Romantic suspense collaboration with Tracey Devlyn & Adrienne Giordano
The BEGINNING
Going HARD
Living FAST
Loving DEEP
Breaking FREE
Roaming WILD
Stripping BARE
Enduring LOVE
Vowing LOVE
* * *
STEELE RIDGE: THE KINGSTONS
Romantic suspense collaboration with Tracey Devlyn & Adrienne Giordano
Craving HEAT
Tasting FIRE
Searing NEED
Striking EDGE
Burning ACHE
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NOVELLAS
Sexy contemporary romance
Amazed by You
Love So Sweet
Also by Nancy Naigle
The Adams Grove Series
Book 1:: Sweet Tea and Secrets
Book 2:: Wedding Cake and Big Mistakes
Book 3:: Out of Focus
Book 4:: Pecan Pie and Deadly Lies
Book 5:: Mint Juleps and Justice
Book 6:: Barbecue and Bad News
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Boot Creek Series
Book 1:: Life After Perfect
Book 2:: Every Yesterday
Book 3:: Until Tomorrow
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Single Titles
Sand Dollar Cove
Christmas Joy
Hope at Christmas
Christmas in Evergreen
Dear Santa
The Secret Ingredient
Christmas in Evergreen: Letters to Santa
Recipe For Romance
Christmas Angels
inkBLOT – co-written with Phyllis Johnson
About Kelsey Browning
USA Today bestselling author Kelsey Browning writes contemporary romance, romantic suspense, and cozy mystery. Her Georgia-set, co-authored Seasoned Southern Sleuths mystery series is described by readers as “The Golden Girls meet Dirty Harry.” Her single title romances garner reviews that call her writing funny, sassy, and full of sizzling chemistry. Originally from a Texas town smaller than the ones she writes about, Kelsey has also lived in the Middle East and Los Angeles, proving she’s either adventurous or downright nuts. These days, she makes her home in northeast Georgia with her tech-savvy husband, her smart-talking son, and a (fingers crossed) future therapy pup. Find Kelsey online at KelseyBrowning.com.
For info on her upcoming releases, subscribe to her Sass Kickin’ News.
About Nancy Naigle
USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle whips up small-town love stories with a dash of suspense and a whole lot of heart. She began her popular contemporary romance series, Adams Grove, while juggling a successful career in finance and life on a seventy-six-acre farm. Two of Nancy’s novels, Christmas Joy and Hope at Christmas, premiered on Hallmark Countdown to Christmas in 2018. Now happily retired, she devotes her time to writing, antiquing, and the occasional spa day with friends. A native of Virginia Beach, she currently calls North Carolina home. Join Nancy on Facebook and sign up for her newsletter at www.NancyNaigle.com.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to all the fabulous folks who make us (and Lil and the gals) look good.
Thanks to Michelle Preast for giving our vision of the grannies life in the form of caricatures. Lillian, Maggie, Sera, Abby Ruth and Teague wouldn’t be who they are today without you!
And a huge shout-out to Deb Nemeth. You make every story stronger while helping us hang onto what makes these wome
n special. We’re grateful.
Major Oxford-comma appreciation to Kim Cannon. You help us dot all our i’s and cross all our t’s.
To Pam Dougherty, big thanks for doing such a bang-up job on the audiobook of In For a Penny. You made us laugh at our own words, which was such a treat. We hope we’ll be able to continue to bring the books to life in audio.
And thanks to Miss Bettie, Tech Guy, and Smarty Boy for understanding when we lock ourselves away for days at a time to work on these stories and for not panicking when you hear loud and crazy laughter from the other room. An extra hug and smooch to Tech Guy for teaching us the difference between a whois search and a trace route. We promise Nan is real!
And finally, thank you to all the wonderful readers who have contacted us about series asking for the second book. You’re the reason we get up every day, put on our moose pajamas, and get to work.
AND TO ALL OF YOU READING THIS ~ THANK YOU!
COLLARD GREENS AND CATFISHING
Copyright ©2014, Gwendolyn Brown Lucas and Nancy Naigle
ISBN: 978-1-944898-20-5
Print ISBN: 978-1-944898-28-1
Large Print ISBN: 978-1-944898-29-8
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Cover Art Design by Elizabeth McKay
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Digital release, October 2014
Trade Paperback release, October 2014
Second Edition release, March 2020