War Orphans (The Terra Nova Chronicles)

by Robert Dean Hall

  “Your ability to understand would have been predicated on the assumption I would have been happy to share him with you,” Russo said. “But what I desire is an exclusive relationship with him. Don’t you understand what I’m saying to you? Can’t you see why I hate myself so terribly at the moment? If I thought it were possible, I would have tried to steal him from you.”

  Russo backed away from Morning Grass as if she were afraid the feline would make an attempt to harm her after what she had just admitted, but Morning Grass remained still. She listened to Russo vent with teary eyes.

  “I don’t know how to say this without offending you or sounding condescending,” Russo said, “but, I’m human. I’m not a feline surrogate.” She pulled the uniform pants off her hips to display the deep gashes Morning Grass made the previous night. She then pulled up her tunic to show Morning Grass another set of scars on her back, belly and breasts that must have been put there by Teacher. They were not nearly as deep but had apparently bled as profusely as the ones left by Morning Grass.

  Morning Grass was alarmed to witness the damage done to Russo by the feline claws. Russo looked as if she had been struggling with a wild animal.

  The passion marks felines gave one another usually bled superficially. Even the marks made on the surrogates’ softer skin hemorrhaged little unless the clawing was unusually passionate. There was barely a square centimeter of skin below Russo’s waist that wasn’t smeared with crimson and her uniform showed fresh flows being wicked up into the fabric in multiple places.

  “I deserve to be an equal in any relationship,” Russo said. “I wasn’t meant to be a concubine for the both of you to take your frustrations out on because you can’t make love to each other.” She replaced and smoothed out her uniform. “I’m sorry, Morning Grass. I need something more.”

  “That isn’t how it would have been at all,” Morning Grass said, “but, I can understand how you might see it that way. I haven’t always had the kindest things to say about surrogates. You don’t need to apologize for your feelings.”

  Russo turned and continued her walk to the shuttle.

  “Where are you going,” Morning Grass asked. “You should come back to the house with me and wait for Teacher to walk us to the shuttle.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Russo replied without turning around. “Besides, I don’t know if I could face Teacher right now.”

  “I’ll walk with you,” Morning Grass offered. “There may be separatists about.”

  “No,” Russo yelled, again without turning around. “Leave me alone. I may die of shame before I reach the shuttle anyway.”

  Chapter 61

  Morning Grass returned to the dwelling in tears. Teacher was dressed and straightening up the ransacked bedroom when she burst through the entryway door.

  “I don’t understand what’s going on here,” Teacher said as Morning Grass dove onto the bed and moaned loudly into a pillow.

  “Where’s the major,” Teacher asked. “Please explain to me what this is about.”

  “I’ve done something unforgivable, Teacher,” Morning Grass wailed. Teacher could barely understand the muffled words that filtered through the pillow. “I hurt Dawn Marie last night. She didn’t want to make love but I forced her.”

  Teacher felt a sense of shock and dread. “That isn’t the impression I got. She seemed to me to be insatiable. I didn’t think she would ever tire out. I was thankful when she finally went to sleep.”

  “That’s because she wants you more than anything,” Morning Grass replied. “She admitted as much to me just now.”

  “You aren’t making sense.”

  “How else can I put it,” Morning Grass wailed. “She’s secretly desired you for months, but she doesn’t have feelings for me.” Morning Grass sounded as if she could not catch her breath while she said, “Dawn Marie accused me of raping her.”

  “That’s very harsh. I’m sure she didn’t mean that.”

  “She’s absolutely correct,” Morning Grass screamed. “I swear I couldn’t help myself.” She rolled onto her back and reached out for Teacher.

  Teacher sat beside Morning Grass and she pulled him close. “I was selfish and foolish,” Morning Grass cried into Teacher’s shoulder. “I kept hoping her affection for me was something deeper.”

  “The human females’ capacity to nurture those around them is great as or greater than that of the surrogates,” Teacher said, stroking Morning Grass’ hair in an attempt to comfort her. “I can understand how you might have been confused about her feelings. Especially since human females often waver between coy and aloof with prospective mates early on. I often wonder why they just don’t just ask for what they want.”

  “I would say it’s been an effective mating strategy,” Morning Grass replied. “It certainly seems to have worked on you.” She gave Teacher an unfriendly look.

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” Teacher said as he looked back at Morning Grass. “You don’t mean to tell me you’re jealous?”

  “Of course I am. You enjoyed an experience last night with Dawn Marie I can never provide for you. For that matter, seeing you with a surrogate makes me a little jealous. Even though I know that a surrogate would never try to take you from me.”

  “You’ve never admitted this to me before,” Teacher replied. “It makes me feel… uncomfortable.”

  “I don’t mean for you to feel that way,” Morning Grass said. “I would never deny you. You’re more worthy of a good woman than any man I know. I treasure your love and I’m happy beyond measure that you share it with me, even though I’m not truly a woman.”

  “But you are, Morning Grass. You’re more of a woman than you realize. You’re also a much better companion than you give yourself credit for being. My life with you has always been wonderful.”

  “You aren’t a very good liar, Teacher. Your life with me has been one struggle after another. I’ve never been a pleasure to live with. I’ve always made your existence difficult and I’m complicating things for you once again. You have a chance now to be with a woman who wants you madly and can make love to you in the way you deserve. I’m standing in your way. If you aren’t to have children, you should at least have that.”

  “I haven’t sacrificed my happiness in the least on your behalf,” Teacher said. “Please don’t feel you have to martyr yourself on mine. You’re in danger of insulting me beyond my ability to forgive.”

  Teacher got up from the bed and stood glowering at Morning Grass. She braced for a scolding.

  “What do you really think of me, Morning Grass? For you to suggest I might even consider leaving you after all this time is an affront I don’t even know how to interpret. Are you saying you believe it’s in my character to abandon you solely because you’re not built like a surrogate? Have I not proven to you after all this time I love and accept you as you are, and without reservation?”

  “I didn’t mean for you to take it that way,” Morning Grass said.

  “Oh, no,” Teacher asked. “Because the only other way I could possibly take it is that you believe I’ve been a fool to stay with you for so long.”

  Morning Grass silently indicated that she had no answer.

  “And, in case it hasn’t occurred to you,” Teacher said, “we’ve tried without success to procreate since the first surrogates were cloned. Your regeneration hasn’t changed that. What would our life be like if you chose not to regain your limbs and we still couldn’t conceive? It’s time for you to accept that we will never have a child together and stop beating yourself over it. It is nobody’s fault. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

  Morning Grass rolled back over and buried her face once more into the pillow to bawl.

  Teacher said nothing for next few moments. He also didn’t sit back down beside Morning Grass to try and comfort her because he was certain it would do no good. When she finally became still, he continued to speak; the tone of his voice much gentler.

  “I also think it’s important for you
to remember your physiology is no different than that of any other feline female,” Teacher said. “Do you honestly believe this is something nobody else of your gender thinks about when sharing a mate with either, a pram on the prowl, or a stable third?”

  “Are you saying my feelings are invalid,” Morning Grass asked. “Are you telling me you’ve never wished I was softer and rounder or that I had a warm, wet place for you to bury your manhood?”

  “I can’t deny that I haven’t,” Teacher responded without hesitation, “but, such thoughts are always fleeting and disappear when I think of how wonderful you are.”

  “I certainly don’t feel wonderful at the moment,” Morning Grass said. She looked at Teacher through eyes that were sore from crying. “And, your admission one of my biggest insecurities has merit isn’t helping.”

  “Is there any compliment I can give you that you will accept graciously, without twisting my words,” Teacher asked. “Why do you look upon my admissions of how enamored I am of you as trifling? Is there one whose opinion of you matters more?”

  “There has never been before,” Morning Grass said. “But, at this moment, I’m afraid there is.”

  “Did you ever sit with Dawn Marie before last night and explain to her how you felt,” Teacher asked. “I have no doubt she would have listened.”

  “There were many times I considered it, but a good opportunity never presented itself,” Morning Grass lamented. “Had you suspected before last night she had feelings for you?”

  Teacher didn’t answer but his expression told Morning Grass he most likely had.

  Morning Grass felt the desire to cry grow stronger as Teacher reached for her hand.

  “We should both go and speak with her,” Teacher said.

  Chapter 62

  Workers were moving furniture from the ground transports into the hospital when Morning Grass arrived with Teacher in tow. She saw Haley and Li as soon as she was inside the front doors and made a beeline for them.

  “I’m sorry I’m late getting in. How is everything going?”

  “We’re ahead of schedule,” Haley replied, proudly. “There were some problems getting the telemetry beds loaded for the trip down so I rearranged the order of the trucks to get the rest of the consumable supplies here early. I called the employment council down at the open market and had them send a few extra laborers for the day. We finished stocking the cabinets this morning before the furniture arrived.”

  “When will the beds get here,” Morning Grass asked.

  “The drop shuttle with the last of the equipment landed half an hour ago,” Haley said. “The trucks should be loaded and on their way here within the hour.” She smiled smugly. “You’ll be happy to know the snafu in the delivery schedule made it possible for me to get the furniture for our planet side quarters here early. No more sleeping in the shuttles. Li and I brought our wardrobes and grooming supplies with us. We’re staying here tonight.”

  “I’ll bet Major Russo is happy about that,” Morning Grass said.

  “Well, I’m sure she will be when she finds out.”

  “She’s not here, yet?”

  “I haven’t seen her. Wasn’t she staying with you on your shuttle last night?”

  “We stayed at my old dwelling last night,” Morning Grass said. She turned pale at the remembrance of the previous few hours. “The major left for the shuttle from there at daybreak.”

  “I’ll page her,” Haley said. She had her locator out before Morning Grass could stop her. “Locate. Major Russo. Dawn Marie.”

  Almost immediately an artificially generated voice boomed from the device. “Voice connection unavailable. Major Russo, Dawn Marie, cannot be located.” After a short pause it added, “Positioning information unavailable. User device not found on global or fleet security perimeter grids.” After another, longer silence it told them, “Locator registered to this user is currently offline.”

  “That’s strange,” Haley said. She looked at the visibly worried Morning Grass and asked, “Do you have any idea why the major would turn off her locator?”

  Without saying a word, Morning Grass ran for the front exit. She called for Teacher to join her as she bolted through the door. She took off in a dead run toward the landing field.

  Haley’s jaw dropped at Morning Grass’ abrupt departure. By the time she overcame her confusion and made it to the front doors the felines were too far away to hear when she yelled to ask if she should be concerned.

  Teacher barely kept up with Morning Grass as she darted the last one hundred meters to the shuttle. She was pounding on the hatch when he caught up with her. He stood silently and watched as she circled the outside of the craft, peering into every viewport, furiously looking for signs that Russo was inside.

  “All the viewport shades are pulled and I can’t open the hatch from the keypad,” Morning Grass said. She started to cry. “What if Dawn Marie didn’t make it here? What if she ran into some separatists on her way?”

  “I think you’ll find the reason you can’t open the hatch is because she’s in there and has locked it from inside,” Teacher said. “If she’s in the state of mind you described to me this morning, I still have concerns for her wellbeing.”

  “What do we do,” Morning Grass asked.

  “If you have your locator with you,” Teacher said. “ATC should be able to give us an emergency override on the internal keypad.”

  Morning Grass pulled her locator from her jacket pocket. She fumbled with the device nervously trying to activate it. “Query,” she yelled into it. “I need somebody who can open a medical shuttle that’s been locked from inside. Quickly. This is a medical emergency.”

  Within seconds a human voice boomed from the locator. “Captain Hawn here. How may I assist you, Captain Morning Grass?”

  “Dawn Marie has locked our bus from the inside and I’m afraid she might be incapacitated. The keypad won’t accept my code.”

  “I can walk you through using your locator to override. You would know how to do it yourself from now on—”

  “No, thank you, Steve,” Morning Grass said, trying not to sound impatient. “Please, just open it for me.”

  “Open sesame,” Hawn said. The shuttle hatch started sliding to the side as if by magic. “I’ll need to report a remote open. You’ll have to supply me a reason for the form.”

  “I need this to be between us for now, Steve,” Morning Grass begged. “If anyone gives you a problem, refer them to me.”

  “I’ll report it as a fat-fingered pass code lockout,” Hawn replied. “Nobody should question it.”

  “Thank you, Steve. I owe you.”

  “No problem,” Hawn said. “Just give me a chance to win back all the money you’ve been taking from me on poker night.”

  Chapter 63

  Morning Grass walked through the shuttle hatchway. “Please wait for me out here,” she told Teacher.

  Teacher was about to protest when Morning Grass closed and locked the hatch behind her.

  Once through the door, Morning Grass saw Russo’s bloody uniform on the floor next to an inflatable cot with a mass of sheets and blankets piled on top. The space was dimly lit but she could see an arm with an open hand poking out of the pile of linens. There was an empty syringe lying on the floor directly underneath the hand.

  Morning Grass put her knuckles into her gaping mouth and let out a shriek. “Lights. One hundred percent,” she screamed as she reached for the arm. It was warm and from the wrist she felt a pulse. It was slow, but strong.

  Before Morning Grass could pull back the linens, a voice emanated from underneath that was devoid of emotion. She would have sworn it was an artificially generated voice from one of the computer interfaces if she hadn’t recognized it.

  “Did you not hear me,” Russo asked. “I told you to go away.”

  Morning Grass pulled the linens away from Russo’s face and looked at her closely. Russo squinted when the light hit her eyes.

  “What have you
done, Dawn Marie? What did you take? How do I counteract it?”

  Morning Grass reached down and picked up the empty injector to inspect it.

  “For the last time, Captain,” Russo said. “I’m ordering you to get the hell away from me.” The words were angry, but the voice that spoke them had a calm, dreamy quality.

  Morning Grass looked closely at the syringe. She felt less afraid for Russo’s safety after seeing it was spring-loaded, and most likely pre-dosed; but, until she could determine what was in it, some fear remained.

  “Please, Dawn Marie. I need to know what you’ve taken, how much and when.”

  Russo remained silent as she pointed in the general direction of an open supply cabinet door.

  Morning Grass walked to the cabinet and saw an open box with an empty compartment where the syringe must have been.

  “It’s only a sedative,” Russo said before Morning Grass could read the label on the box.

  “This is Apathy, Dawn Marie,” Morning Grass replied.

  “Your point being?”

  “Calling Apathy a sedative is akin to calling a mountain lion a housecat. Apathy isn’t a therapeutic drug. It’s a non-lethal weapon. Colonel Styles will reprimand you severely for injecting yourself with this. You know this stuff is only to be used as a last resort to immobilize patients who might be a danger to others—”

  “Or themselves,” Russo added.

  The words stung Morning Grass. She was filled with dread at realizing her actions the previous night could have possibly driven Russo to attempt to end her life a second time. “Are you thinking about hurting yourself, Dawn Marie?”

  “Not at the moment,” Russo replied. She stretched her hand slowly toward Morning Grass.

  “Have you been thinking about hurting yourself at all this morning,” Morning Grass asked as she knelt beside the cot and took Russo’s hand.