Every Waking Dream

by Lauren Eason

  Raven gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before ascending the stairs to my sister’s bedroom. I hated I couldn’t be the comforting shoulder she needed. It was like a wall had been built overnight around her thoughts, and she didn’t trust me enough to let me in. I only hoped Raven knew what she was doing.

  Ben walked into the living room to play video games with Max as I plopped down on a barstool by the kitchen island. Jason sauntered up to me and took a seat beside me, facing the living room.

  “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. None of this is your fault. Jess is going through some things right now. She’s such an independent person. I can understand why she wants to work through her emotions on her own time.”

  “I know, but that goes against everything I was taught at the center. She needs a support system, and I’m trying to give her that.” It might have been selfish of me, but I didn’t want to give her more space.

  He placed a hand over mine. “I know you are, and I think she knows that too. Not everyone will have the same journey as you. I had to learn that the hard way.”

  I rubbed my forehead, trying to relieve the stress headache trying to form. “I don’t want her to end up like me.”

  “Would that be such a bad thing?” Jason asked, a small smile upon his lips. “If she ends up as even half the woman you are, then I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

  I chuckled under my breath. “Very smooth, sir.”

  “I try,” he teased. “Did it work?”

  “You do have a certain charm about you. It’s rough, but I can work with it,” I smiled.

  “You’re cheating, bro!” Max exclaimed as Ben pushed the controller out of his hand. The game intensified as Jason and I watched them playfully fight with each other on the couch. Raven rounded the corner with Jess behind her.

  I perked up as I saw Jess give Max a little smile as he tried to regain his composure, slyly punching Ben in the arm as he got up from the couch to greet her. Jess brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear as a blush crept up the side of her neck. He leaned against the wall, hovering over her as her whole demeanor changed.

  “See? It looks like you got one thing right,” Jason whispered into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. It had been so long since I had seen her smile. Raven skipped over to us, landing beside me, her hip cocked towards the island.

  “Look who showed up?” She gave me a soft nudge on my shoulder.

  “Alright, I suppose you’re good for something around here,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “What did you say to her exactly?”

  “I told her that Max was downstairs and was asking for her. She’s got it bad for him. Sounds like someone else I know—”

  I quickly covered her mouth with my hand as Jason pretended not to listen to our conversation. I felt the smirk from him before I saw it. Raven licked the palm of my hand as I snatched it away from her, rubbing it on my jeans.

  “You’re disgusting,” I said.

  “Thank you. So, should I go ahead and order us some pizza?” she asked, whipping her phone out.

  “By all means, go right ahead,” I said, standing from my seat. “I’ll be back in a few. I need to check on some things.”

  Raven waved me away as she placed the order for our food. I ascended the stairs for my room, crossing the threshold and heading straight for my desk. Flipping my laptop screen open, I scanned the local news for any details regarding the case. Clicking on the most recent article, my heart sank in my chest as the darkness took hold of my senses. They found Emily.

  I scrolled through the article as a picture of a secluded bridge and the rocky shore below stared back at me. Her body was discovered mangled. Her location was suspected of being a body dump, murdered offsite, and driven there for whatever reason. I couldn’t breathe as my throat closed. I was having a panic attack, but I couldn’t stop.

  I read on. Her family identified her in the county morgue later today, confirming their worst fears. I had been so close to finding out where she was, and now I had nothing to go on. The police couldn’t say if these missing persons were related to each other, and there was a chance they weren’t, but deep down, I knew they must be.

  Standing up from my desk chair, I paced my floor in front of my bed, trying to calm myself down as my heart pounded in my chest. Emily was tossed aside like trash, regular garbage on the side of the street. Now that she was gone, I feared her case would be listed as cold. The evidence on her body was slim to none, indicating a professional. I should’ve tried harder.

  What possessed me to believe I could be of any use in the first place? I couldn’t even control this ability, let alone use it productively. Flopping back on my bed, I threw my arm over my eyes, shutting out the light of the setting sun as I tried to steady my breath. Working on my breathing exercises, I heard a soft knock on my door frame.

  Sitting up, I saw Jason watching me. “I don’t mean to disturb you. The pizza’s here, so I told everyone I’d let you know. Are you okay?”

  I turned my face away from him as he entered my room, taking a seat beside me on the foot of my bed. I didn’t want him to see the distress I knew was evident upon my face.

  “Do you want me to give you some space?” he asked as the silence stretched on.

  “No,” I rushed to say. “I mean, I don’t know. I’m kind of going through something right now.”

  “I understand,” he relayed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really,” I managed to say between pants. “Have you ever thought you could make a difference but then find out it was simply wishful thinking?”

  “I see you have a lot on your mind,” he replied. “To answer your question, there’ve been times like that for me. When I was adopted, I had a lot of hope. I told myself I would be the best son my new parents could ask for, but then I discovered they already had a biological kid. I started comparing everything I did with him, and it drove me nuts, to the point I hated Ben for the longest time.”

  “Really? Ben? You guys are so close...”

  “Now we are, but you can even ask him. It wasn’t like that for the first several years. At one point, I overheard my parents talking about what to do with me, and my father suggested giving me back to my previous foster parents,” he revealed.

  “You’re kidding,” I said, feeling calm as I listened to his silky voice.

  “I’m not. That’s when I realized I needed a new perspective on everything I was doing. I was trying to impress a family that already wanted me in the first place and loved me the minute I walked through their door. Because of my pride to be the better son, I had missed out on what it meant to be an actual family. I changed my attitude and haven’t looked back since,” he finished. “So, what’s the reason you want to make a difference? What are you trying to prove?”

  “I suppose I was trying to do the same thing. I’ve been working my ass off trying to be a good daughter to a broken family when I should really be doing it for myself. I’ve been so worried about everyone else that I’ve been neglecting what I could do for myself, to make myself better,” I admitted.

  “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Aislin,” Jason said, tilting my chin towards him so he could see me clearly. It was a rare moment when someone actually saw me for who I was, instead of for what I had done in my past.

  He leaned in close as I felt his breath skate past my lips. My eyes closed naturally as the gap between us closed.

  “Hey, bro! Are you coming down here or what?” Ben called from the stairway as I pulled back from his touch. Jason let his hand drop as he stared at the doorway, the moment lost.

  He stood from his seat and held his hand out to me. “Are you ready to put on a brave face for yourself?”

  With a smirk, I put my hand in his as we walked out of my room and back downstairs. The boys had already dug into the pizza as Raven and Jess sat in the kitchen. I walked over and picked up a slice before grabbing a paper plate.

  “This is the best study session ever,” M
ax said with his mouth full. “We should do this more often. Maybe take it to the backyard.”

  “Sounds like a plan. What do you think, Ais?” Raven asked.

  “That sounds good to me. I don’t get to hang out with people a lot. It would be nice to see each other every now and then outside of school.”

  “I just got an alert on my phone about that missing girl, Emily. They found her body by the lakefront near that old bridge leading into the state park,” Ben declared from the couch. I tensed as Raven glanced over at me from her seat.

  “That really sucks. I didn’t know her, but she seemed like a nice girl. What about the two who went missing before her? Did they find them too?” Max inquired.

  “From what I see, it was only her. They could still be out there. Maybe they’ll dig up something from the site,” Ben mentioned hopefully.

  “Guys!” Raven shushed, clearing her throat and motioning towards Jess. “Show some tact.”

  “Oh, we’re sorry, Jess. We didn’t mean—”

  “It’s fine,” she said, waving Max off. “I’m sure they’re not connected.”

  I stiffened in my seat, the tension palpable in the air around us as we munched on our pizza in silence. While neither Ben nor Max meant to hurt Jess, it was like she had locked herself back up tight.

  A loud crack of thunder startled us out of our awkward stillness as the lights in the house flickered before finally going out. An audible groan resonated with everyone as I grabbed a flashlight out of a kitchen drawer, clicking it on.

  “Was it supposed to storm today?” I asked.

  “Honey, we’re near the ocean. Rainstorms are pretty common for popping out of nowhere around here,” Raven remarked, her hands on her hips.

  “I’m going to go check the circuit breaker to be sure. I wouldn’t think a single crack of lightning would blow out the house,” I said, heading for the hallway to the foyer.

  “I’ll go with you,” Jason volunteered as the other sat on the couch.

  I glanced out the front door window at the houses across the street, noticing their lights on. Jason ran into the back of me as I stopped short, placing his hands on my hips, so he knew where I was in relation to his position.

  I opened the door to the garage and headed downstairs, listening to Jason shuffle on behind me. Shining the flashlight around the walls, I searched for the circuit breaker as another rumble of thunder sounded from overhead.

  “Do you see anything?” I asked Jason as I felt along the walls. It was something I thought wouldn’t be so challenging to locate.

  “Here,” Jason said, opening a small door hidden near the stairs.

  “Are you sure? I thought that was a crawl space,” I said as he opened the door. I moved the light over the space and saw the small door led into a basement-like area underneath the rest of the house.

  “You never explored this place?” he asked, taking the flashlight from my hand as he ducked down, shuffling through the doorway. I followed behind him, dodging cobwebs as we pressed on.

  “I assume my parents know about it,” I replied, shrugging. The area was dark and windowless. Framework made up the walls with wires and the air conditioning ducts lining the ceiling. It seemed like any other unfinished basement to me, although the doorway could’ve used some work.

  Jason found the circuit breaker and opened the panel. He flipped the main switch as the lights came on in the room. A single bulb hung from the center, casting an eerie glow around the barren area with its concrete floor.

  “This light in here has been on the entire time?” I groaned as I walked over to the pull string. “Way to burn electricity.”

  “What’s that?” Jason asked as he pointed the flashlight to a grate near the bottom of the wall.

  “That’s weird. That wall leads into Steven’s garage. Our homes are connected, after all. Do you think it’s a design flaw?” I inquired.

  “Um, I’m not sure. You’d have to ask an inspector that kind of thing,” he replied. “Let’s get out of here. This place is a little creepy.”

  “Agreed,” I confirmed, clicking the bulb off and making my way back out the door. When Jason exited, he turned around and locked it. There wasn’t a knob, merely a deadbolt that held the door in place.

  “At least it’s not a room we use,” I muttered, heading back up the stairs and into the house. We were greeted with appreciative cheers from the others as we entered the living room. Jason grabbed my hand, and we bowed as if having ended a play in front of an audience.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Taking it out, I saw my mom on the other end. Excusing myself from the group, I headed upstairs into my room to take her call.

  “Hi, Mom! Are you on the way home?” I asked, a little breathless.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie. I was calling to let you and Jess know I’m going to be much later than I anticipated,” she answered.

  “What? How late?” I questioned, shutting my bedroom door.

  My mother sighed on the other end. “I have to stay and finish this mountain of paperwork that crossed my desk a little while ago. Let Ben and Jason know that their father will stay with me, helping me get this done. You remember Peter, right?”

  “Yes, Mom. I know who their father is, but you’ve been staying at work every night. You say basically the same thing. Is there something going on?”

  “What? What are you implying?” she asked, angrily.

  “I’m not implying anything. I just want you to start acting like a mother to Jess and me!” I shouted, hanging up on her. I screamed in frustration as I threw my phone onto the bed. Bolting for the door, I opened it as Raven was about to knock.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. “We could kind of hear you from downstairs.

  “Great,” I muttered. “It’s my mom. She can’t be bothered to come home for one night on time. It’s like she doesn’t want to deal with us anymore since this whole thing with my dad.”

  “You want me to send the boys home?” she asked, pointing a thumb over her shoulder. “I have no problem kicking them out early.”

  “Only if Jess is okay with it. I know she wants to spend time with Max,” I replied.

  “Jess can see Max any day. Sometimes you need to worry about yourself instead of taking everyone’s problems onto your shoulders, Ais. It’s going to be the death of you,” Raven advised. “I’m going to go downstairs and tell those boys to get lost. Jess will understand your cap for entertainment for one night.”

  “Thanks, Raven,” I said. “Is it weird that I think my mom is having an affair with Jason’s dad?”

  “Uh...I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Raven stated, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck.

  “What? Do you know something?” I asked, grabbing her by the shoulders.

  “I know Denise has been going out a lot. Maybe they’re meeting up at that lounge,” Raven suggested.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Nope. Nothing I can prove anyway. Let’s table this. You and I have some dreams to enter tonight,” she said with a wink.

  “Emily’s gone, Raven. It doesn’t matter anymore,” I replied, defeated.

  “Emily’s not the only girl missing,” Raven pointed out. “Whatever vendetta you’ve got going on right now, I want in.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that—”

  “You and I both know the only reason you told me about your secret was because you needed a sidekick. Well, here I am. Now deal with it,” Raven smiled, heading downstairs to kick out the boys.

  I went back to my bed and picked up my discarded phone. Jason deserved to know what had happened or, at least, that I was going through some things and needed to be alone with my family.

  I fell onto my back on my bed as I listened to the front door open and close. Footsteps raced up the steps as both Jess and Raven entered my room. Jess jumped onto my bed beside me as I sat up, wondering what was going on.

  Raven sat in my desk chair and swiveled around to face us. “So...don’t b
e mad, but I kind of told your sister.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Torches lined the tower's stone walls as a storm raged outside over the angry waves of a black sea. The floor was littered with newspapers, an odd concept for a dream that appeared to be set in medieval times. Gabrielle lay in the center of the room upon a four-poster bed with a plush red duvet underneath her. She seemed comfortable, almost serene, as I felt the cold water splash across my face.

  With a gasp, I sat up in bed and rubbed the water out of my eyes as Raven and Jess stared at me, eagerly awaiting the news.

  “She’s alive,” I managed to say as I jotted down everything I had seen in her dream into a journal beside my bed.

  “Great! Now we have a connection to her,” Raven said, spinning around in my computer chair and typing frantically on my laptop. “We need to figure out a way to help you stay connected to her instead of jumping around all the time. You’re telling me it’s always been this way for you?”

  “I don’t know how far my reach goes, but yes. I’ve never been able to focus on an individual and enter their dream.” Jess handed me a hand towel for my face. “Thanks.”

  “How come you never told me about this?” Jess asked, a slight hint of betrayal in her words.

  “I—I didn’t know how. I thought if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. Or worse, you’d think I was crazy,” I admitted. “If I had known to tell Raven about this sooner, I would’ve.”

  “Was there anything in her dream you noticed before we woke you up?” Jess inquired.

  “Sorry for pulling you out so fast. We weren’t sure which dream you landed in and wanted to keep going if you hadn’t found her yet,” Raven explained from her seat. “It’s hard for us to tell if you’re where you need to be or not.”

  “I get it,” I sighed. “She was dreaming about being in this old stone tower by a sea. She was lying in bed with newspapers around her.”

  “Newspapers?” Jess asked, perking up. “Do you know what they said?”