by Denetria
“So we’re going pantiles tonight huh”
She looked back at me smiling, “Let’s go.” As we drove down the interstate her focus was again on her phone. “So tell me about your lucky man. You said that it was a person that you had just met, is it the one that you had met at my house? If that’s the case, things are going better than expected. She said nothing only smiled, “You thot, how in the hell did that happen? Are you serious right now, I thought we were better than that. You let that nigga hit and didn’t give up the goods, come on now.”
“You know why I didn’t tell you, because of this. Look, I told him not to lie to me and have me thinking that he wanted a relationship and all he wanted was a good fuck. If that’s all he wanted then let me know and we could fuck like rabbits; I had no problem with that, but what he wasn’t going to do is have me thinking one thing if it was actually something else.”
“Girl I know you didn’t tell that man that shit? But in a way I guess it would be straight. If you put everything on the line, that way in the future you wouldn’t have a problem. Now the big question is how did he feel about it?”
“Truthfully he was actually surprised that I came to him like that, but he agreed and we left it at that. If something comes from it then that’s fine, but right now, we’re just having fun. Anyway you know how I get down, I say what’s on my mind. Sometimes that gets me in a lot of trouble, sometimes it doesn’t, but I will never stop being real.”
I know that DeShaun is the one for me, yes I said it. I know he is the one. The thing is I don’t know if he will be able to handle me and all my bi-polar ways.”
“You just have to let that wall down in order for him to come in.”
“That’s the problem. Some of him has broken the bearer of this wall, the thing is I’m torn.”
“Sometimes being torn helps. Sometimes being torn gives you an open mind; which leads to your eyes being wide open, so when it all comes down to it, you’ll know what you are getting yourself into.”
“Yeah that’s true I said as I pulled into my driveway. I actually hate that I’m going to be here by myself. If you guys are down, when DeShaun calls again, I’m going to see if it’s okay for my bitches to chill with me until he gets back. Hell maybe I can talk him into buying me a dog; something not too big, not too little, what do you think? Really I said as I opened the door.”
“Girl I’m just letting him know that we are here, oh my god, do you have to be so dramatic?”
As I stuck the key into the keyhole it became clear to me that something was wrong. I had locked the door behind me, and now it wasn’t. I guess Constance saw the look on my face and asked, “What’s going on?” I tried to play it off, sounding as if I were making a big deal out of nothing so I replied, “I thought I had locked the door behind me, I guess I didn’t. As much as I had on my mind, I wouldn’t doubt it..” I opened the door and walked inside when I was hit with “surprise” from family and friends.
I let my eyes glance the room and watched as DeShaun walked towards me. “I guess you are wondering what we are doing here. Well I pulled some strings and I have a gift for you. I do in fact have a meeting, but I am leaving out tomorrow. Everyone you see here, even Constance; whose job was to keep you away from the house until we got everything ready, had something to do with setting this up. I had to admit she was trying hard not to tell you when she and Kash started texting, but she held it down, he said laughing. Okay so I know important this weekend for you and you don’t have anything to worry about except this,” he said handing me a wrapped gift.
What kind of gift is this? What did you do?” No sooner than I said someone knocked on the door. “Right on time, I should have known. Everyone take your places, turn off the lights.” I watched as he opened the door and the boys’ walked in, the lights came on as everyone yelled surprise. I stood there in shock, my babies were there. I was throwing my own birthday party for my baby. I don’t know how he did it and right now I didn’t care that Jaheem was also invited, my babies were here for just a moment. I ran over to them, gift in hand and heart filled as they wrapped themselves around my waist. That was a moment that I would always hold dear to me. I looked at DeShaun as my lips said, “Thank you, I love you.” He had this look in his face as he told me he loved me more.
Everything was right from the decorations, to the cake. It was wonderful. We had some time alone as the visitors talked among each other. “All I want to know is how you pulled this off.” How did you get Jaheem over here, since he’s so big on the legal shit.”
“I told him how important it meant to you to have a party for your son. That in all the time you guys have been separated he can never say that you have injured those boys. He agreed with me, but said that he had to come. If that is what it took to get you what you wanted, then fine.”
I began crying, not because I was hurting, but because my heart was so full. He took an entire day planning to make me happy. I kissed him on the lips and said, “You’re making a girl fall for you.”
Chapter 15
DeShaun put a couple of burgers and hotdogs on the grill, and the girls and I sat on the other side of the room as I kept them away from “her.” “Look if it wasn’t for it being my baby’s day, I would tell you to beat that bitch ass nigga down, but right now, I can’t do that. So can we just be civil?”
“Because you are my sista, that is the only reason, but if that bitch looks at me one more damn time crazy, I’m going to ask him what his problem is,” Jazz said.
“Maybe she wants you,” DeLay said laughing.
“If that’s the case then I’m going to ask him what his problem is,” Jazz’s girl said.
We took the boys’ upstairs and showed them their room for when they would be able to visit. They ran downstairs and told their dad that he had to come see, and of course we didn’t have a problem with it.
“Wow, this is incredible. You guys have really done a good job setting things up for them. I’m glad that you will be treating our kid’s as if they are your own,” Jaheem said.
“I have two of my own, and I love their mother and if I want to have her in my life, I have to have them in my life also.”
“How about we get back downstairs, we have gifts for you to open.” After they heard that they would be getting gifts, they ran down the stairs and outside to the table. Okay Ja’Cobi since we missed your birthday, we have a surprise for you also. So on the count of three we want the both of you to open your gifts together. One…Two…Three…,as we sat there opening their gifts revealing a hover board for Ja’Cori and a PlayStation 4 for Ja’Cobi.. The look on their faces, although I know they already had one at their own home was still priceless to me. “Don’t worry, I called in advance, they didn’t have one.”
After they cut their cake, they played for a while and began packing up to go. It broke my heart to hear them ask if they could stay over and to be told that they couldn’t; to listen at the tremble in their voices as they told him that he wasn’t being fair, to tell him that they didn’t want to go back home with her. “Hey I want you to be big boys’, this is not the last time I will see you; I might just come over and see you guys tomorrow, but if I don’t , I want you to be very good okay.” They nodded their heads and I gave them hugs and kisses as I watch them watched them walk out the door and load into the car. I looked at the corner of the door and noticed that they had forgotten their gifts. “DeShaun, they left their things,” I told him. He went outside to see if he could flag them, but to no avail, they were far too gone.
When he came back inside I questioned him on what he had heard the boys’ say. “Did you hear what they said? They said they didn’t want to go back to that house with her. So what do you think they meant by that? I mean if that bitch is doing something my babies, I promise you.”
“I heard it, but you can’t jump to conclusions. They probably just wanted to stay here with you. I mean you are their mother and they are mot spending any time with you. What I don’t want you
to do is mess any of this up right now. I know he has done some shady shit, but he threw all of that away and let your boys’ come over here when he could have said no”
“I guess you’re right, you’ve been doing a lot of that lately, and I really want to thank you for doing this for me, it really mean a lot.”
“I want you to know that I would do anything to put a smile on your face. I know that you can’t say it right now, but I want you to know that I love you Egypt.” He pulled me in and kissed me, as he took his hand and cleared the table, tossing me on top of it. He laid me back on the table, ripping the buttons off my shirt exposing my blue bra, pulling out my breasts and kissing them. He laid me on the table and I arched my back helping him. I moaned in pleasure as he stuck his dick inside of me; pounding me. He would begin fast, then slow his speed down. I raised upon the table with my legs wrapped around him. He pulled my braids, exposing my neck as he began fucking me faster. His dick began throbbing as he stopped, grabbed me off the table and stuck his dick in my ass. I had never done this before, and he could tell for he said, “let me know if I’m hurting you.” I took a breath as he inserted himself inside of me. The pain soon turned into pleasure as he said, “Do you want it like this; tell me to fuck you harder.” I followed each one of his commands as the both of us reached our point of ecstasy. We fucked from the kitchen to the stairwell and ultimately made our way to the bed .We made our way to the bedroom went to bed early, leaving everything that had happened before and focused on us laying in each other’s arms for his early rise the next morning.
I awakened the next morning to kisses on the face letting me know that I was time for him to go. Although I didn’t want him too, I knew that he had too, my heart was already hurting and he hadn’t even lift yet.
“I’ll call you every time I have a chance, he told me. I love you Egypt.”
“I love you too, “ I said as I tried to hold back tears. I fell back asleep and woke up a little past one. I knew what DeShaun had said, but I needed to see for myself. I grabbed their gifts that sat in the corner and made that my excuse for going over there unannounced. As I pulled into the driveway of the home that he had gotten for “her,” I sat in the car wondering if I had made the right decision.
I finally got out of the car and made my way up the path and rang the doorbell. He came opened the door with a shocked look on his face.” I’m sorry for not calling before I came over, but they left their gifts at my house and figured that they would want them. :”Come on in,” he said as stepped to the side letting me walk by. The boys’ ran from the living room, and I grabbed them giving them hugs. “You left these at my house; handing them to them.”
“Okay boys’ go and play, your mother and I need to talk for a second if that’s alright.”
I followed him into the den and took a seat in one of the chairs. I wonder what was so important that he wanted to talk to me about. “First things first, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate what you did for the boys’ yesterday, they talked about it all night. It actually made me realize that they need you. Candice and I aren’t doing well, in fact we haven’t been doing well for a long time. I think it’s because she’s not you. I know you have your own relationship, but I want you back, I need you to come back home. If you say yes, I will go right now and have everything against you dropped; I don’t care as long as I have my wife back and our kids have their mother.”
I sat in silence trying to decipher what had just been said to me. I know the only reason he wanted me back was because I was doing without him. “Yes we did have some good times, and I held you down when you had no one else, but you hurt me to the core and I don’t know if I can get over that. I have a man who has broken down a wall that you built, and even though there is nothing that I would like more than to be with my babies every day, I don’t think that I could come back to you. We sat in silence once more. I then told him that it was time for me to go, this were getting too awkward between the both of us. I kissed my babies’ and left.
I sat in the car for a moment before pulling out of the driveway. For the longest this is all I wanted from him, now that I am happy he comes and ruin my life all over again. I drove down the interstate wiping away tears that had begun to roll down my face. What was I going to do? DeShaun was the man who my heart had finally began to want, but Jaheem and I would always have that connection. I went to the home that I shared with the man who I was beginning to love, and the predicament I was now in.
I grabbed the phone and called Constance, “Bitch I don’t care what you are doing, I need to talk to you right now.”
“I’m here by myself, what’s up?”
“Don’t say shit just listen. Okay last night the kids told me that they didn’t want to go home with “her” meaning the slut. DeShaun tried to convince me that I was over thinking things; that maybe they just said that because they didn’t want to leave me. Anyway, after he left this morning, I grabbed their gifts that had been left here and went to Jaheem’s house. I don’t know how I knew but I picked the correct house to go to. He and the boys’ came to the door, and I gave them the gifts. I want you to know that I was not intending on staying, but he invited me in saying that he had something to talk to me about. I agreed and he began telling me that he and Candice hadn’t been doing so well, and he thinks it’s because he still has feelings for me. Then he says that he wants me to come home, and he just wants our family once more.”
There was a silence on the other end of the receiver. I sat waiting for her to interrupt me. After a couple of minutes of her not saying anything, I began talking once more. “I told him that the only reason he wanted me was because I was finally happy, and I left. But now, that shit has me thinking, this is what I wanted all along and he and I have children together, so we will always have that bond. So now I’m thinking, do I really want to be with DeShaun, I want to tell him before I have him thinking one thing and breaking his heart in the process. What do you think.”
“I think that he sees that you can do without him and he will do whatever it takes to get you to fall back into the same shit, which is your children. I can’t tell you what to do because that is something you have to decide for yourself, but you do need to let DeShaun know.
“That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for, but I guess you’re right.” As soon as I finished talking to Constance, DeShaun called, “How are you doing beautiful? I can’t really talk right now, but I wanted to let you know that we have touched down and I’ll call you later.”
“I’m glad you did. I’ve been missing you.”
“Time will start flying and I’ll be home soon. I’ll talk to you as soon as I get a chance. Oh and Egypt, I love you.”
“I love you too,” but the factor of the matter was I wasn’t sure.
Chapter 16
I sat in the quiet house meditating on what I really wanted. At that very moment I didn’t want to think about any of it. I wanted to erase the entire twenty four hours. DeShaun knew he was breaking me down, but Jaheem knew he would have my heart forever. I wish I were given the chance to choose them both. Each one of them held something special that I wanted in a man that’s why it was so hard for me.
For two months DeShaun and I talked at every given moment; while I continued to meet with Jaheem and the boys’; sometimes she was there, but the majority of the time she wasn’t; this is when Jaheem would continue the conversation of us getting back together, and like every other time I would let it be known that I had not changed my mind. I don’t know why I continued entertaining his bullshit; maybe that’s because I knew that’s exactly what it was.
During on visit that he suggested we have at the park. As we sat and watched the kids run up and down the slide, he turned to me and said, “Egypt, I know that it may be too late, but I have been thinking about what you said and I see where you are coming from, and truthfully you have every right to be upset. You did everything within your power to hold me, and I continuously cheated and made you look crazy. I gu
ess what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry. I know it’s a little too late, but I was young and stupid; thinking only of myself….I just want you to know if I had a chance to go back in the past and change it, I would.”
“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words? That’s all l ever wanted from you, was to own and admit your wrong doings, and to see that you did this to us. It was your fault that everything that night happened the way it did. It was your fault you lost the woman who would do anything to show you how much she loved you.”
“I know that and that’s why I’m asking you if you would give us another chance. I promise you will see a whole new change in me. All of the lying and cheating is over with. I have grown and moved past that, know I just want that one woman to settle down with. I am willing to give you some time to think about everything, but I hope you come home.”
The drive home was quiet. My mind was all clouded as if I had taken a bad blow to the head. One part of me was saying that he couldn’t be trusted, but another part of me wanted to give him another chance. As I pulled into the driveway I noticed DeShaun’s car was home. I parked the car and ran up the stairs, turning the key and running into the house. “Bae, bae where are you?” I watched as he came out of the kitchen sandwich in hand.
“When did you get back? Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to be home early?”
He sat down on the couch, placing his sandwich and beer on the table and pulled me into his lap. “It was a shock for us too, but we fulfilled our obligations early and since we had nothing else to do, so here I am. I thought I would get a bigger reaction from you; you act like you didn’t want me back this soon. What’s going on?”
I kissed him, “don’t be silly, you just have your way of surprising me that’s all.” I slid out of his lap and took a seat next to him on the couch. As he picked up his plate, I stole one of his chips. He took a bite out of his sandwich and after flushing it down with some of the beer said, “So what have you been up too while I was away?”